Ok Chapter 30 guys. Now that fanfiction is working again. Thanks to TheBigCat for her being an amazing Beta.

This Chapter is a bit shorter then most of mine, I tried to make it longer I did. But it was not working. SO it stayed short because it needed to. so I'm sorry. I hope you guys like it.

That last chapter though lol. I am a bit of a tease but I promise a real and true kiss is coming up.

Thanks to all who have reviewed, followed or favorited you make my day brighter. Please keep doing it.

Allons-y


He sat on that love seat for hours, his mind going over and over the way her lips had felt pressed to his. It had not been a gentle kiss- it was rough and full of pent-up passion, and over far too quickly.

And then Rose had tossed out that remark of how he'd know what she kissed like, if she was ever taken over again. But he was not fooled. She may have told herself she was kissing him to prove a point, but she had wanted to do it again as soon as she had pulled away. Her eyes did not lie and they had been full of barely suppressed passion.

He should have pulled her back down and snogged her breathless. But instead he had been too flabbergasted and had set there with his mouth hung open, like the idiot he was when it came to Rose. Smartest man in the universe and struck dumb as a post from a simple kiss from a pink and yellow girl.

He made himself move to his bedroom. He was tired. It had been a long day. His tongue flickered out to taste her upon his lips and he moaned quietly. Now it was going to be even more difficult to prevent himself from kissing her. He had a taste- a small one- and now wanted more. More of Rose.

He climbed into his bed, wishing it was hers again, and shut his eyes. Sleep overtook him before he remembered to grab the shirt from the table next to him.

The nightmares came, as always. Bowie Base One was tonight's feature length film. He woke up screaming, trying to escape the demon of the gunshot. He shot straight up. He could feel the wetness on his cheeks. He reached for her shirt and held it close. It smelled of him now but it was still something that belonged to her. He held it close, wishing she was here with him.

Rose awoke when the scream ripped down the hallway and rushed to find the man she knew it had come from. She was going to help him heal, just like he was doing for her and this was an excellent place to start. The TARDIS must have moved their rooms closer, because she was at his door in two heartbeats.

No sooner did the thought cross his mind when he heard his door open and the patter of bare feet cross the wooden floor. He looked up to see a sleep tousled Rose, wearing his old jacket over her jimjams and standing next to his bed. He looked away, ashamed that she would see the tear tracks on his face, forgetting about the shirt he held in his hands.

He felt her sink slowly on the bed next to him and tenderly draw him into her arms, holding him tightly to her body, soothing him by touch alone.

"What's wrong, Doctor?" she whispered into his neck. "Tell me what's wrong." She felt him shiver at her breath. Rose slightly pulled back to take his face in her hands, and searched his eyes, looking for an answer to her unasked question, finding none.

"Tell me Doctor. Talk to me. Trust me." He went to pull away but she held him tight.

"I'm alright, Rose, I'm always alright." he said softly, trying to pull away again. She continued to hold him even as he pulled.

"Don't feed me that line, Doctor. You're not okay, I know you're not, so talk to me- let me help, the way you have been helping me. No more running, remember?" She said the last sentence so lovingly he stopped trying to pull away.

She grabbed him in for another hug, and whispered, "trust me."

He pulled her back with him as his back hit the headboard never releasing the grip on her back. He eased her till she was beside him. With one arm still wrapped around her stomach, the other fell into her hair, twisting it around his fingers. Her shirt had ended up in his lap. She noticed it, but stayed silent. He seemed to be gathering his thoughts. Finally, after several long minutes, he haltingly began to speak.

"I did some bad things, Rose, after leaving you on Bad Wolf Bay. Really bad things. You wouldn't have recognized me. I was angry and despondent and alone. So alone. Always alone." his voice broke on the last syllable. "I became a madman. I decided the laws of Time no longer mattered. I gave myself a new title- the Time Lord Victorious. Time was to bend towards my will and the rules were going to be broken in every way. I didn't care anymore. I had lost everything. And with no one there to halt me, I did as I pleased- screw the consequences. I made a woman take her own life." His voice finally broke the rest of the way and a few tears fell.

Rose would run now, he thought, and run fast, seeing this broken man that was supposed to be strong. But to his surprise, she held him tighter. When she finally drew back and looked at him. He could see tears in her eyes. But not a trace of fear or hate graced her face.

"You are truly rubbish on your own," she finally said, breaking the silence that had perpetrated the room. She grinned at him teasingly, and suddenly he felt much better for telling her. He grinned right back at her.

"You're not much better. I guess since we're both rubbish at it, we'll just have to stick together."

"Two peas in a pod, we are," she replied before a huge yawn overtook her. "The human needs more sleep," she muttered, starting to disentangle herself from his arms, somewhat clumsy as another yawn erupted from her mouth.

He gently pulled her back to him and whispered, "you can stay, if you want."

Rose knew she really shouldn't. But somehow that did not seem to matter as her head found its way to his chest and an arm encircled her waist. She felt her old t-shirt under her head and removed it gently, leaning over to place it on the table next to him. She smiled gently down at him as she resumed her previous position.

"It's nice to know you missed me. I didn't think you cared," she murmured into his chest.

"Oh, Rose Tyler," he said, so softly she almost didn't catch it. "You were missed. Missed more than you could ever know. That's not the only shirt of yours I have. In my jacket, I carry a piece of you as well. You were with me no matter what, never to be forgotten."

He felt her sigh and cuddle in closer. He reached one hand up and played with her hair. "Rose?" he asked.

A vague murmur was all he got, but he went for it anyway. "Why did you kiss me?"

"Wanted to show you how I kissed so you'd know," she replied sleepily/

"Yeah, any other reason?"

"Not fair."

"Rose, I need more than just two words here. What's not fair?"

She rubbed her eyes with a spare hand. "First kiss, me Bad Wolf, second kiss, me Cassandra. Third kiss, me clone. I never kissed just you. You needed an example for future reference and I wanted to know. Call it a science experiment."

He pressed a kiss on top of her head. "Was it good, Rose?" She didn't say anything, and he leaned in curiously. "Rose?" But she made no reply. She was soundly asleep. He smiled gently and pressed another kiss to her head, before dozing off himself.

Neither of them spoke about his nightmare again, or the kiss, just as neither of them spoke of their new sleeping arrangements.

The fact was, however they avoided it, that one of them always ended up in the others room at night in order to keep the nightmares at bay, where they could both get some much needed rest. Every morning, they would wake up and separate as if nothing had happened the night before and each would promise themselves that last night was the last time it would happen. But they both knew they were lying to themselves and it would keep happening. So they just let it be for the time being. After all- why fix what wasn't broken?


You know what I want, On the bottom of your screen is a blank space. I want it not to be blank. Give me a review, let me know your thoughts. I will reply to questions, you just have to ask. Please leave me a note I love your thoughts.