I Want to thank my beta TheBigCat she super cool and super busy. but I still Love her Here's chapter 35 I really hope you guys like it It was hell to write lol.

I want to thank all that have reviewed and read and favorited and followed honesty guys I am almost at 300 reviews I never thought my one story would garnish this kind of following but I love it. As always please continue to do so. I love you all.

I will post the next chapter as soon as my beta is done with it. well enough of my rambling

Allons-y


Rose was scared. He could feel her trembling in his arms, and her muffled sobs into his shirt. He could make out words. "Am… I… dying? Doctor?" before sobs would shake against his chest again.

Oh, he had to tell her she wasn't dying, he was scaring her more by his silence. He was rubbish at this. He pulled back slightly in order to look at her, gently wiping tears as they fell from her eyes. "Rose, you aren't dying. The opposite of dying is what you are doing. Or should I say you aren't dying, at least, not right now. You'll die, of course, everything does in the end. But… at least at this moment you're not." He was rambling, but couldn't seem to stop.

That was when he felt a hand being placed over his mouth, and her words wash over him. "Doctor." Her voice was surprisingly steady for someone who had just been sobbing moments before. "I'm going to ask you some questions, and you're just going to shake your head yes or no since your words make no sense. Understand?"

He nodded.

"I'm going to move my hand now."

He nodded again. The moment her hand cleared his mouth he opened it to speak and she covered it again. "I said, no talking."

He nodded again and she slowly moved her hand away but this time he kept his gob shut. He reached for her hand and entwined their fingers, needing to touch her in some way.

"First question," Rose began. "Am I dying right at this moment?"

He shook his head in the negative direction.

"Am I going to die soon?"

Again, he shook his head.

"Okay," she said. "That's good, right?"

He nodded his head.

"So let me get this straight. I'm not dying right now, not dying soon. Then why are you acting like it's the end of the world?"

He gestured towards his mouth silently asking her if he could speak. She grinned cheekily at him. "Don't know, Doctor. I've never seen you this quiet before. I kind of like it. Oh," she added, as he shot her a murderous look. "Go on, then, talk. But don't you dare start rambling again."

He nodded his head in agreement. "That was rude, Rose Tyler, saying you like me quiet. I don't talk that much. Do I? Oh, Rose, please say I don't talk too much, you love it when I talk, right? I mean I have a billion things to tell you and not talking would be painful. "

"You're rambling again, Doctor," she reminded him. "What's going on, if I'm not dying?"

The smile that was on his face dropped. "Oh, Rose Tyler, you're going to live a very, very long time and I'm so, so, sorry." His voice was filled with emotion as he continued. "I was right. When you looked into the TARDIS, it changed you. I think the cannon activated it when you were trying to find me."

"When you say that I'm going to live a long time," Rose asked, frowning. "what do you mean?"

"Just that, Rose. You're going to live a long time, not just in human standards. You, Rose Tyler, are going to live for centuries upon centuries. You might live longer than me. You will never look any older than you do right at this moment. It's a curse, Rose, you'll have to watch everybody around you withers and dies."

She held up the hand that was not in his and covered his mouth. "So I get to stay young?"

"Yes," he whispered across her fingers.

"I get to stay with you for forever on the TARDIS?"

Again, the whispered yes came from his lips.

"And you think it's a curse?"

This time, a nod. Before he could register what was happening, she had slapped him across his cheek leaving a red hand print in her wake. "YOU IDIOT OF A TIME LORD, THAT'S NOT A BAD THING! IT'S NOT A CURSE, IT'S A GIFT." Her voice softened. "You stupid git. I promised you forever and now I can give it to you. I could never think of it as a curse. It's going to be difficult, I'm sure. As for watching everybody wither and die, Doctor- us humans have been doing that for eons. We come into the world, knowing we will die and others as well. I can handle that. Can you handle the fact that I'm not going anywhere for a long time? You can't feel guilt over this, Doctor. I looked into the TARDIS; I created Bad Wolf, I'm the one who built the cannon to find you again. I did this to myself. And I am so glad I did. I love the traveling and the adventure. Now I'll never have to stop." She grinned brightly at him. "As for you dying before me… well, you'll just have to be more careful. Can't have you regenerating at every turn, can we?"

He sat there in shock, his hand cradling his cheek. It was still stinging. How was she okay with all of this? Most people would be mad as hell if he had told them they would outlive everybody they knew. And yet here she was miffed at him because he thought it was a curse. He should have known Rose Tyler was anything but a normal human. His pink and yellow girl continued to surprise him at every turn and now she would have the opportunity to keep on doing it.

The guilt did not lessen even though she did not blame him for her predicament. Despite what she said, he knew he was to blame. If he hadn't sent her back to her mother in the first place, she would have never looked into the heart of his ship and Bad Wolf would never have existed. Of course, he would not have been here either, but that was a moot point. The fact still stood that he was the reason that she would never age. That she would never get to live life on the slow path- it was now firmly out of her grasp. There would be no white picket fence at the end of her journey. Just endless life traveling in the TARDIS and while she may want that now may want him now, it would change. She would want to leave, she would grow to resent him and see that it was a curse and not a gift as she believed.

She could see the emotions playing across his eyes. They were fleeting but she saw them none the less. Guilt was most often seen, but this time sadness flaked along with it. She had always been able to read him. Since she had returned it had become even easier. She wondered briefly if that was part of her connection to the TARDIS. She knew that despite what she had told him he was still blaming himself for this gift of a long life span. She had no idea how to convince him that it was for the best. They were at an impasse and the wrong words could throw them completely and utterly into disarray. Maybe this was one of those times that friends should just accept the fact that neither would ever agree, with the other. And life would carry on. Her very long life.

She thought carefully. She had to say something to him. She knew she couldn't change his mind on this matter- he really truly and deeply believed what had happened to her was a curse, and in reality he had every right to think that. He had lived for almost a thousand years and most of them alone. Watching people he cared for- had travelled with drift away and then die. Only for him to continue on: the last of the Time Lords in the TARDIS.

The words came to her and when she finally opened her mouth they came out slowly and carefully but with strong resolve. "Doctor, does it matter now? I mean, we can't change it. It's done. The past is the past. I'm okay with it, honestly, I am. I would not want to change this even if you could. I know that you aren't ok with this and you probably never will be; but what's the point of you brooding over it? It'll just put a wedge in our relationship, and I don't want that- I quite like how things are going between us."

She fell silent, waiting for his response. How he reacted to her thoughts was going to set the tone not just for the coming days or weeks but for the rest of their lives. And she was so scared he was going to do what he did best. What he had always done when it came to them. She was terrified that he was going to run. And honestly, she didn't know if she had the strength of mind to follow him because once this man's mind was made up there was no changing it.

He released her hand and stood. He wanted to bolt right out of those medbay doors, and take them someplace fantastic. He wanted to run until he could not breathe or think. Do what he had always done when his emotions ran to high. But one look at Rose and he knew he could not do that anymore, at least, not when it came to her. She had been broken when she was brought back to him. If he ran now all the work she had done would turn to dust. He had promised no more running. At least not emotionally. And she was right there was nothing he could change this was not going to go away. She was okay with it. He just had to find a way to deal with his guilt, it was just one more thing to be added to the pile on his heart concerning one Ms. Rose Tyler. And he could not lie to himself. As guilty as he was feeling a part of him was rejoicing that they had forever together- it was more than he could have ever hoped for, more than he could have ever dreamed for. His other self had truly given him a gift and he was not going to waste it.

He smiled at her. "As usual, Rose Tyler, you are absolutely correct. There's nothing we can do. But I am never going to stop feeling guilty. Just think you should know that. But I like how things are going as well. And I don't want to screw it up again, not this time."

He reached over and pulled her gently towards him, before leaning down and capturing her lips with his own, feeling her hands go to his hair. He ran his tongue over her lips asking for permission which she gladly gave as her tongue met his. It was slow as they each savoured the others taste. When they did pull back he rested his forehead against hers. "Did I mention I really like how this new part's coming along?"

She grinned that special grin of hers. "Oh, I don't know, Doctor. I think we may need more practice just to make sure it's coming along right."

"Do you think Rose?"

She didn't reply, just leaned forwards and captured his lips again.


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