Thanks to My Beta batistaangel15 who somehow manages to make a chapter I hate into one I like. Don't know how she does it.

I have no good reasons for not posting I wrote this chapter through a dozen times but it came out like crap each time. I hate this ep I really do I know some people like it but I hate it. Which made it twice as hard to write it out. But it an important ep and had to be included. so like I said no good reasons writters block and hate for this ep almost killed the fic. lol but it did not. I continue on.

Thanks to all who are still reading and reviewing I will try to update sooner but we are in the busy time at work and my 9 year old kid thinks shes 16 and driving me bonkers.

And since I have not done it yet hears a disclamer. I do not own Doctor Who it belongs to the writers and actors and everybody else involved. I do own however two sonic screwdrivers, a hoodie a pair of pj pants, a poster, earrings, a wallet, a kindle cover, a necklece, a 10 mug, and a sonic screw driver spork. Oh and A 10 dress cosplay.

Ok Allons-y please review.


They dropped off Amelia Pond back at her home, taking her up to her bedroom. She said that she was not tired but that statement proved to be false when the young girl yawned. She told them that she had an amazing time and thanked them endlessly for the trip to the moon. Before the duo left, the Doctor presented her with a special gift. It was a blue journal—TARDIS blue, naturally—and came with a psychic pen from some planet with such a long name Rose could not remember it that was guaranteed to never run out of ink or even get lost. They told her to write about all the amazing things she wanted to see in the past, present, and/or future, then promised her that they would return to her home when she would turn twenty-one.

Amelia Pond thought time would move slowly until the day that magical blue box appeared again since it was a long wait and far away, but until then she would be the girl who dreamt of marvellous things yet to come when she would begin travelling.

The Doctor and Rose exited the house and made their way across the garden and back into the TARDIS. He moved around the console and pulled the lever, sending them off into the Vortex. Once they were back across the stars he set them to drift before turning to face her. His hand found its way down to clasp hers as he lightly tugged her along with him down the corridor. It was late, which also meant it was past time for another memory to relive and watch. Even though they had already watched one this morning or afternoon or whatever time it was since the Old Girl became mauve and a young ginger sprite had unexpectedly dropped in their laps. But, with the progress they've been making so far, it was necessary and remedial.

Rose knew what was coming as she was led to the media room in the TARDIS halls, something she had been aware about for a little while now and never wanted to relive again—the adventure of when they ran into that French tart. She was not, most definitely not, watching this one. Discussing it, yes. As much as she wanted to forget that trip even happened she knew it could not be completely ignored. They needed to talk more about it now, but she would not watch him flirt with that bitch, or even see him kiss her. She would not be able to handle it. She would probably punch his daylights out right then and there.

Rose took her usual spot on the couch once they entered the room. The Doctor stood for a moment, studying her carefully. He could see the plethora of emotions swirling clearly in her eyes. She did not want to watch the next memory. He understood that. This was not one he was too fond of either, mainly because there were things he regretted and carried with him for so long after, the guilt he felt when he looked out hat window. And now his precious human had gone through traumatic experiences after being trapped in a parallel universe. Her emotions were more high strung and on the edge than they had been years ago. She would be determined to win this one battle with him.

He thought for another moment, rethinking about those events in that adventure, feeling every ounce of dread washing over him. He knew she would not want to watch any of that again, but it seemed wise to let her not be bothered. Perhaps they could just talk it through just like they had before. She did not want to relive that adventure any more than she did, it was only appropriate. At the time he had realized that he had cared for Rose deeply, even way before the escapade in France with Reinette. It hurt him dearly when he smashed through a shattered mirror with high chances of not making it back in time to get back into the TARDIS. He remembered that longing feeling, the sadness, the loneliness he felt when he thought of Rose, the light to his dark, what he was leaving behind. Unintentionally, he might add.

He would never want to leave her behind. He would always want her right by his side, there to hold his hand through the dark.

Things had been awkward when he had returned shortly after breaking through that mirror to stop the clock droids. Rose went through a silent treatment, so to speak. She had locked herself in her room for three days and nights, barely coming out unless it was to grab something quick to eat. She had ignored him for the majority of that time, isolating herself from him and leaving him with Mickey, the only entertainment and company he could have since she chose to distance herself from everyone and everything. On many occasions did he contemplate knocking on her door to have a word with her and talk, but the TARDIS had seemed to always move her room around like it was on a carousel. He did not like that one bit.

When she finally emerged from her room she seemed steady and sure of herself. He had been relieved that she had loosened up so he thought it best not to question her since it would have only brought up even more questions that he was not willing to answer and have them put in an uncomfortable position, ones he would have to be cautious with when responding to them. He had decided to leave things alone so not to cause any more tension to ripple through both of them, leaving them to fall back into their familiar pattern of acting silly as they travelled.

Now, though, he would have to clarify everything once it resurfaced. Their relationship was more open than it was back then, still showing the utmost respect for each other with their deep friendship and closeness but making it…more. It was still new territory, something beginning to bloom that needed to be tended and nurtured with great care. But he also knew that the old memories of the past haunted them. Out with the old, in with the new. He wished that they had talked about it briefly back then to make things a little easier for them now, but he knew with the way Rose had been since returning it would have been erased from the record anyway. There was a chance this could lead to a rough spat, but he would ease into this gently.

"Rose," he finally spoke. "I won't make you watch it if you don't want to."

"And I don't want to, Time Lord," Rose ground out, her voice already dripping with anger.

Her hand went over her mouth as she stared straight ahead but there was a moment where she glanced over to see him to see the grimace painting his features. She had not called him that term in weeks. He had thought that they were past that hurtle and so did she. It was an old habit of hers, one she did not want to bring back. At least he hoped not. If so then all the progress that they have been building up to this moment would begin to crumble back down to the landing foundation to start over again. They were past that stage. He would make sure she would heal properly, so he would lead her through this.

The Doctor walked over to take the spot next to her on the couch and gently drew her hand away from her mouth, bringing it up to his mouth to press a kiss to her knuckles. Still cradling it in his own, he began to speak. "It's okay, Rose," he said softly.

"I didn't mean it, Doctor," Rose replied. "I didn't know it was even about to fly out. I just don't like to talk about that French harlot you loved." Her eyes widened as she tried to cover her mouth again, but he kept both of hers firmly in his.

His mouth opened in disbelief at her statement. He could not believe what she just said. She actually believed that? How? "Y-you…" he stammered. "You thought that I loved Reinette? How? Why? What in Rassilon's name gave you that impression? She was kind, that was all. How could I love her, I barely even knew her."

"She kissed you!" Rose suddenly burst out, making him flinch. Her hands slipped out of his as she stood to her feet, pacing while she ranted. "She even said that she saw into your mind. A woman that you barely knew, and you bared your soul to her."

"I never showed her everything that defined me—"

"Let me finish," she cut him off sharply, glaring at him. His mouth shut and she continued. "While me and Mickey were strapped on tables and about to be chopped up for parts, no less. You came swaggering back to our side with your tie wrapped around your head talking about how you invented the banana daiquiri and accused me of sounding like my mother."

"It was an act," he stressed. "In no way would I become intoxicated, it was just an act of diversion."

Rose snorted. "Yeah, lovely plan you had. Rescue us then fly through a mirror on a horse. I was standing there, Doctor. I never felt so…I can't even describe it. I kept staring at the wall where the glass used to be and didn't see an opening anywhere. Mickey didn't know if we were ever gonna make it back home and I didn't even have an answer for him. I thought the TARDIS would figure something out since She's always been brilliant. All I did was stand there waiting for you to come back, wondering if you'd ever come back to me. Five and a half hours, thinking that you didn't care and just forgot about us—about me. Thinking that I had finally become that latest addition to the list of companions you left behind, that I wasn't good enough for you and meant nothing to you and that that snobby priss was perfect for you. But when you finally came back I couldn't wait to throw myself into your arms 'cause I was thrilled that you came back, and pissed off. But still happy that I won in the end."

She stopped pacing and took a deep breath, feeling herself tensing up and shaking inside from her furious diatribe. She whirled around to see him watching her intently then pointed a finger at him.

"And you know what you did, Mister big shot Time Lord? You told me that we would take that priss on a trip with us. A bloody trip on the TARDIS! I went through all of that and you wanted to take her on a trip, without even consulting me or thinking about how I would feel." Her arms outstretched themselves. "And what did I do? Nothing! Then you ran on back after her then came back when you found out she was dead. You came back all sulky and miserable and broody. You wouldn't even look me in the eye! I left the room with Mickey but stayed behind and watched you reading that letter, looking all upset and lost."

"Rose—"

"Not done!" she yelled. "And you know what I did after that, Doctor. I went to my room and I cried. Not for a ten minutes, not for an hour—for days. Days. I even started to pack my bags and thought about going home to mum 'cause I was so upset. I actually thought about leaving you and this life behind, to just run away as fast as possible to escape from my emotions after that adventure. When those days locked in my room I kept thinking it over and decided to give you another chance. Then when I finally found you and Mickey, you two were just playing on the PlayStation, not even giving a damn about me. So I thought I'd do the same to you, but I wasn't leaving this life I had chosen behind. After I saw the real you I figured it was only a matter of time before you left me like you had done to all the others. I pretended that I was fine and you never tried to talk to me about it. So I knew I was right."

Rose finally stopped talking as sudden as she started, staring hard at him, challenging him to reply. The Doctor could only do the same, his mouth open in shock. He was gobsmacked, her words coming at him hard. If he did not already wish he had spoken to her back then about the situation he certainly would have been pushed into it now. His Rose, his poor Rose. She had packed her things and thought about leaving. She had cried for days and kept it all to herself. And, most notably, he had been the biggest idiot in the universe. He already had regrets about that day and what the possible repercussions would be. He never thought they were that bad compared to what Rose told him. Now he knew why she would think that he loved Reinette. He let her believe that and it was nowhere near the truth.

No one would ever replace the woman who created this body, who imprinted herself onto him. And certainly not someone he did not even know. It was all a mistake but he would rectify that right now.

The Doctor reached over for her hands, gently pulling her back towards him. She tried to get out of his grasp and he understood that. She had every right to be upset with him, but she needed to hear what he had to say. He let go of her hands and placed his hands on her hips, easing her down onto his lap, cradling her in his arms as he spoke.

"Oh, Rose," he said quietly. "I'm so sorry you had to go through all of that. But you need to know that I didn't love her. I was kind to her, yes, but I never felt anything romantic towards her. How could I feel so deeply about someone I barely knew? I didn't want to go through that mirror intentionally. I had to stop the aliens from changing history and unraveling the universe. Was it the best plan? Definitely not. I had no time to properly think, and it became one of my biggest regrets after I went through. Not much longer after that it was night time. I was standing at a window, staring off into the sky of millions of stars, wishing with all of my hearts that you would be with me as we travelled across them. Instead I found myself stuck in the slow path, but I knew I wouldn't be there forever. I was going to do my hardest and I'd be damned if I hadn't found my way back to you. I would never do that to you, Rose. Never to you.

"As for Reinette, I never kissed her—she kissed me. What she did to me was not initiated by me. And about her seeing into my mind, she barely scratched the surface of what's rattling inside this big old head of mine. I would never bare my soul, as you put it, to just anyone, and certainly not to someone I barely knew and had no feelings towards whatsoever. When I examined her mind to see what the droids had done so I could prevent them from more damage she somehow slipped into my mind. Think of it like Harry Potter. Remember when Harry saw into Snape's mind when his defenses were down? It was the almost the same thing. I didn't realize it hurt you so badly, Rose, but I had to save her or else history would have unraveled and changed the timelines. Everything would have been erased, including when I first met you. If I could go back I wish that I should've pulled you up on Arthur so we could've charged through that mirror together because, like you always say, it's better with two.

"As for her travelling with us, I only wanted to let her have one trip. That's all. I just figured that she deserved that much after what those droids put her through. But I was too late and she died before I could let her have that trip. Maybe I should've asked you if you would be okay with that sooner. I just thought that bringing her on one brief trip wouldn't hurt, but I handled it wrong." He snorted in derision. "Like everything else I do. I was upset that she died, Rose, but it was only because I promised her a small trip and she never had it. Just a small glimpse of the wonders of the universe was all I thought she deserved and she never lived to see it. But I didn't love her, Rose. How could I when I've been pining for a particular pink and yellow woman who I thought I could never have? And, as for talking to you after, I wanted to. When you locked yourself away in your room I figured you just wanted alone time. I wanted to speak to you sooner but I thought it would make things easier to deal with. Honestly, I'm surprised you hadn't left. Not that I ever wanted you to, but I would understand. You'd probably find another pretty boy again since I know I'm not mature for my old age. I was an idiot for what I did back then."

Rose turned in the Doctor's arms after a moment, her own looping around his neck. "So basically we were both running for the hills and from our own feelings and refused to discuss it because it would make us face things," she said.

He sighed and scratched the back of his neck. "Yeah, suppose so."

A small grin appeared on her face and he returned it. "Guess we're both idiots."

"So…do you forgive me, Rose Tyler?"

Rose thought about it for a second, looking cheeky. "Only if you gimme a kiss so we can make up properly."

He made a happy sound, trailing the backs of his knuckles down her cheek. "That will not be a problem." He proceeded by pulling her in for a soft kiss to her lips. Yeah, they would be okay. They would always be okay.