Thanks to my very cool cat of a beta batistaangel15, she really makes this story better. she is a super cool cat.

So Hi all I bet you guys thought I was kidding about getting another chapter soon, but here it is chapter 48 and 49 is in the works. so this is another update for you guys and not even a week since the last one i hope you enjoy. thanks to all those who viewed, favorited or followed my story love you.

Please leave a review you guys keep me writing.

Allons-y


Rose remained on the couch, still in her spot. It had felt like hours passed her by, and in the TARDIS one could never really keep track. She tried to process everything the Doctor admitted and apologized for. She knew she hurt him when she didn't give a response, but she couldn't help herself. She tried to tell herself that he wasn't running away from this discussion, but her mind wasn't buying it. Maybe this was the moment where he realized that she was not worth it anymore, not worth the caliber of being someone more than just his friend. She knew it would come, much to her fears. After all, she was full of darkness and now the light just escaped every now and then.

She mentally cursed herself. She had been doing so well in recent weeks, had come such a long way since she came back to this world. They were finally coming to terms and getting closer than they ever had been, but now it felt like they fell back a step. Frustration built inside of her, growing stronger to the point where she was urged to fling the nearest object across the room. So she did. Picking up a glass cup on the side table, she tossed it. The shatter that followed was not nearly loud enough to drown out the warning voices in her head. It didn't ease her anger any, it only fueled it. She wanted to punch someone—him. She wanted to deck him for what he admitted to, but he had taken himself out of the line of fire.

The Doctor wanted her gone back then. He blatantly pushed her away to fall into Mickey's arms and live happily ever after like the normal human life. He had been aware that she was falling for him and had done everything in his power to stop it, to avoid doing something that felt so domestic. That's what angered her the most—he wanted her to be with someone else. She never wanted that lifestyle. What would have happened if his plan worked? Well, truthfully, the plan was terrible and wouldn't have worked no matter what because she loved him. If he had kept pulling those stunts like French girls, kept talking about how she would wither and die, would she fall back in love with Mickey? If Mickey didn't stay in Pete's World, would that he her choice?

She knew that answer. Absolutely NOT.

But that was for right now. That Rose back then was only a twenty-one former shop girl, and she wouldn't have stayed. She would have eventually become tired of what that Time Lord was doing. That twenty-one year old would've went into Mickey's arms and stop waiting for a bloke that would never have her. But she recalled his words when he told her that he wanted her safe. That's well and fine, but she already cut the ties to Mickey by then, and she wasn't going back to him. She wanted to stay with the Doctor, her actual love.

So why did it hurt so bad to know that's what he had been trying to achieve—her safety and her happiness? She understood his reasoning for his actions, but it still pained her. Maybe she was not mad at him as much as she was mad at herself. He had been trying to do the right thing for her and make sure she had a great life. That was the thing though—he was her life. She didn't want the house and carpets and slower approach. She wanted the stars, the galaxies, travelling with the one person she truly loved.

Rose sighed. They were both bleeding idiots—he was running and she was damaged by a past that she could not change. He had cared about her so much that he had wanted to see her settled in a proper house, pop in for tea every so often, then fly off in his stupid little blue box.

The TARDIS lights flickered harshly and a annoyed hum filled the air. She quickly realized her mistake and placed her hand to the wall.

"Sorry, Girl I'm not mad at you," Rose said gently. "I'm just trying to sort it out." The hum changed to that of soothing one, the lights dimming and returning to normal. She smiled sadly, patting the wall. "Thanks."

She leaned back on the sofa, her musings still figuring things out. How were they going to get through this? What they had was so new and fresh, something rejuvenating and lively. Did she ruin it by letting the guilt and darkness get the best of her? She really hoped not, but she also had a gut feeling that there would come a time when she would screw up and he would run away from her fast.

She needed to come to grips with what was going on now. After all, he could not change what he had tried to do. It happened. He apologized for it several times, but it still hurt. Her heart was falling for him no matter how hard she tried to keep it separate from this man. Even when he aggravated her and wanted to smack him, she still loved him. Rose took a deep breath and sat up. She thought about watching the rest of the memory to bring some clarity to the circumstances, but the Doctor wasn't back from tinkering yet. Did she dare go seek him out with the inevitable confrontation? She didn't feel ready just yet, but she also wanted him with her while the rest of the memory played out.

She stood to her feet, prepared to search for him when she thought it over. Maybe she could watch one of them on her own for once, to face it head-on and heal herself more. If things became too emotional for her, then she could switch it off. She lived through these already, even if it was so long ago. No, she could sit through this. Taking her spot again, Rose pressed the play button on the remote control. It picked up right where it had left off. The TARDIS had gone dark and started to violently shake before coming to an abrupt stop.

"Everyone alright?" the Doctor asked. "Rose? Mickey?" She never realized how he checked on her first, catching him reaching for her to make sure she wasn't injured. How'd she miss that? His attention then turned to the ship. "She's dead. The TARDIS is dead."

Rose stared at herself on the screen, amazed that she was optimistic throughout the situation despite worried about the Doctor and the TARDIS. It was sad hearing the way he said the Old Girl was dead. His beloved ship had been with him for so many centuries, it was his his best friends and most faithful companion. Rose must have picked up on his distress since she said they could find help.

They had left the ship, Mickey beginning to explain parallel worlds to her like she was a child. She grinned. Poor Mickey. She had so rude to him in those days. They were good friends and used to laugh at each other, and then she became greedy and didn't want anyone else to have the experiences of travelling through time and space with the Doctor. She braced herself when her on-screen self discovered Pete was alive in that world. She felt numb. The conversation barely phased her, but then she saw the Doctor's face. It spoke volumes, and she never noticed it at the time.

"Rose, if you've ever trusted me, then listen to me now," he told her, sounding concerned. He put his hand to her face and gently turned her towards him, but her eyes kept falling on the poster with Pete. "Stop looking at it. Your father's dead. He died when you were six months old. That is not your Pete—that is a Pete. For all we know, he's got his own Jackie, his own Rose. His own daughter who is someone else, but not you. You can't see him. Not ever."

How did she not realize how serious he was? He had the same look on his face like his previous incarnation's when they went backwards to the day her father died. Same look, different face. Her eyes widened, trying to stop the tears from coming. She watched herself and how she kept looking at the advertisement and not the Doctor. It was hard to witness it again with a different perspective, but she wanted to continue if it meant she'd be an emotional wreck afterwards.

The screen then showed the interior of the TARDIS. She didn't remember this happening, but figured this occurred while she was outside roaming around and getting her free download. Mickey had already occupied the ship, but then the Doctor's voice filled the room.

"I told you to keep an eye on her," he chastised.

"She's all right," Mickey replied.

"She goes wandering off. Parallel world, it's like a gingerbread house—all those temptations calling out." He was worried for her, and she thought that was sweet, but he sounded like she needed a babysitter.

"Oh, so it's just Rose, then?" Mickey retorted. "Nothing out there to tempt me?"

"Well, I don't know, I can't worry about everything. If I could just get this thing to…" She watched as the Doctor kicked the console.

"Did that help?" Mickey asked sarcastically.

"Yes," the Doctor answered. God, he was so stubborn.

"Did that hurt?"

"Yes. Ow." He grabbed his foot, his face twisted in slight pain. Rose snorted. He could be such a baby at times. She noticed how his pained expression deepened, his voice becoming sorrowful. "We're not meant to be here. The TARDIS draws its power from the universe, but it's the wrong universe. It's like diesel in a petrol engine."

"But I've seen it in comics. People go hopping from one alternative world to another. It's easy."

Rose watched the Doctor, feeling the air around her change as he began to speak of his people. "Not in the real world. It used to be easy. When the Time Lords kept their eye on everything, you could hop between realities, home in time for tea. Then they died, and took it all with them. The walls of reality closed, the worlds were sealed. Everything became that bit less kind."

"Then how did we get here?"

"I don't know. Accident? Should've been impossible. Now we're trapped. What's that?" Rose noticed his voice change to that of his natural curiosity. She followed his gaze on screen and saw a small green light.

Mickey, however, didn't. "What?"

"That, there. Is that a reflection? It's a light! Is it? Is that a light? I think that's a light. That's all we need. We've got power! Mickey, we've got power! Ha!" His voice was now its normal manic self, not a trace of the sadness left. He was relieved beyond belief that he had a way to get them home. "It's alive!"

"What is it?"

"It's nothing. It's tiny. One of those insignificant little power cells that no one ever bothers about, and it's clinging onto life, with one little ounce of reality tucked away inside."

"Enough to get us home?"

"Not yet. I need to charge it up."

"We could go outside and lash it up to the National Grid."

"Wrong sort of energy. It's got to come from our universe."

"But we don't have anything."

"There's me." Rose watched as the Doctor cradled the green cell in his hands and blew on it. Her eyes widened in amazement when the small light became brighter, shining over his excited face. "I just gave away ten years of my life. Worth every second."

While she had not known that and she appreciated how he found a way home, that little incident was going to earn him a slap. That was ten years she may not have with him now.

The light died down. "It's going out," Mickey said. "Is that okay?"

"It's on a recharging cycle," the Doctor informed. "It'll loop round, power back up and be ready to take us home in, oh twenty-four hours?" She had no idea how he calculated those things. She usually believed he made a lot of it up, but he was brilliant.

"So that gives us twenty four hours on a parallel world?" Mickey asked. Rose noticed a look on his face, thinking he might have already made up his mind.

"Shore leave. As long as we keep our heads down. Easy. No problem. Let's go and tell her." The Doctor was so cocky when he preened, walking with that swagger. Why did she find that so attractive? Then the memory showed the two men meeting up with her. "There you are. You all right? No applause. I fixed it. Twenty four hours, then we're flying back to reality. What is it?"

She looked at herself. The on-screen her was trying so hard to not appear guilty, even though she had no reason to be since she didn't download the network on purpose.

"Rose, whatever it says, this is the wrong world," the Doctor told her.

"I don't exist." Hearing herself say that was hard. It felt the same as when she was left on the beach both times, like she never existed. She had blinked out of one world and into another and no one had even noticed she was gone. She jerked from her musings to hear her next words. "I just want to see him."

"I can't let you." He was so worried, she could see it in his eyes even if his voice was harsh.

"You just said twenty four hours!"

"You can't become their daughter, that's not the way it works. Mickey, tell her."

Mickey always backed her up, but he was working on an escape plan of his own. "Twenty four hours, yeah?"

"Where're you going?"

"Well, I can do what I want."

"I've got the address and everything."

The poor alien, she thought. He was put through hell, even as smart as he was. He trying to reason with two stubborn humans at the same time, and that was next to impossible. "Stay where you are, both of you. Rose, come back here! Mickey, come back here right now!"

"I just want to see him," her on-screen self said.

"Yeah, I've got things to see and all," Mickey put in.

"Like what?" the Doctor asked.

"Well, you don't know anything about me, do you? It's always about Rose. I'm just a spare part." Rose winced at the statement. One more thing she owed Mickey an apology for. "I'm sorry. I've got to go. Go on, then. There's no choice, is there? You can only chase after one of us. It's never going to be me, is it?"

Rose's breath stopped. She knew Mickey was aware that she had feelings for the Doctor, but hearing them so bluntly and to the Time Lord's face shocked her. "Back here, twenty-four hours!"

And just like that, she realized something he had chased after her. She paused the memory and started to get up to go and find him. She was still upset with him, but even back then when he was fighting his feelings he still had chosen her. Just as she turned towards the door, she froze.

"I'm sorry for Mickey, but he was right," the Doctor said, standing in the threshold. "There was no choice. It was always going to be you, Rose Tyler."