The world isn't rendered in black and white
other shades lie between
don't view the world with binary eyes
we are human, not machine

- Binary - Assemblage 23


Sirius

The N.E.W.T. exams were over. It was summer, the sky was clear and the air was war and the Marauders and Lily sat in the Tree Broomsticks. There had been even more attacks; people were disappearing and all the Muggleborns at Hogwarts were scared for their families. Sirius, James, Remus and Peter had agreed that, if the rumors were true about the underground movement named 'Order of the Phoenix', they would join it. They wanted to fight. They wanted to help, defeat Voldemort.

»To us! «, James said, rising his bottle of Butterbeer.

»To us! «, the others echoed.

Half of their year was in the pub, drinking and celebrating the end of school. Sirius looked around, he saw Alice and Frank snogging in a dark corner, Marlene and Dorcas were talking to some local guys and Xenophilius stood in the middle of the room, dancing although o one else was dancing. They were all there. Or almost. All the Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs, most of the Ravenclaws but no Slytherin. Sirius frowned. He hadn't expected to see many of them but at least a few and if not in the Three Broomsticks then at least elsewhere in Hogsmeade but that he came to think of it, he didn't remember them leaving the castle at all.

»Potter! «, Lily's shriek, brought him back from his thoughts. She looked at James in outrage and James grinned at her his Lily – grin.

»Sorry Evans. «, he said although he sounded not sorry at all. Lily snorted but Sirius could see that she had a hard time, fighting back a smile and when James pulled her closer by the hips her resistance broke and she grinned at James widely and kissed him. Sirius rolled his eyes. Having Lily spending so much time with them was not half as bad as he had expected and he even grew to like her a bit. His eyes met Remus' and he gave him a small smile. Remus sat at the other end of the table and talked to a girl named Tania or Tasha or something like that. Remus smiled back and focused on his conversation again. His eyes lit up and he smiled at her, saying something that made her laugh; it sounded like a horse was snickering. Sirius took a closer look at her. She was small and had short, red hair, her clothes were all black and she wore black eyeliner. She was pretty. Sirius hated her. He hated her because she obviously liked Remus and Remus seemed to like her back and –

»You okay, mate? «, suddenly, James was at his side and looked at him in concern.

»Splendid. Where's your redhead? «

»My Lilyflower is getting us new drinks. Why are you staring daggers at that poor girl? «

»Lilyflower is a sickening nickname. What girl? «

»It is a wonderful nickname, thank you very much. You know exactly which. «

Sirius said nothing and continued murdering the redhead (not Lily) with his eyes. James, too, stayed silent for a moment, then, »You're a bit jealous. «, he stated.

»What? No! I'm not fucking…why would you even…«

» Of course. Excuse me, my mistake. You're not a bit jealous, you're fucking green, mate. «

»Fuck you. «, Sirius said because, really, what else was there to say? Remus looked over to him once again and must have seen Sirius' anger because he immediately seemed to excuse himself from the girl and approached him.

»Are you okay? You look a bit…tense…«

»Do I? «, Sirius asked rather aggressively, still staring at the girl who looked rather confused. »Who is she? «, he asked and bit his tongue right after.

»Who's who? «, Remus asked and then followed Sirius' eyes. »Oh. Tamara? She's just some Ravenclaw that happens to share my love for Oscar Wilde, why? «

»Is that what they call it now? «

»Sirius what do you want? «, Remus asked and Sirius saw that he was getting angry now and felt a sting of regret. Remus did not get angry easily and the fact that it just took so little today was a very bad sign.

»Nothing. I want nothing. Just…you do realize that she fancies you? «. He said and looked, for the first time, at Remus who started to laugh. »What? What are you talking about? Tamar's gay, Sirius. She 's Dorca's girlfriend. «, he explained and Sirius felt very, very stupid. »Oh. «, he said and Remus chuckled. »We were just talking about books. No need for you to get jealous. «. He turned around without waiting for Sirius protest, »I'm not jealous! «, he shouted but Remus did not hear him.

A few hours later a lot of people were very drunk, Sirius however, was almost sober again, thanks to Remus.

»Sirius, we need a few people that are able to think straight when we have to get that lot back to the castle. «

»Yeah, but there's a flaw in that plan. I can never think straight. «, Sirius said and Remus hit him on the back of his head but laughed nevertheless. James and Lily were sober too, being Head Girl and Head Boy and were already planning their return to the school, when Sirius saw a ferret lurking in one corner of the pub. He frowned. He knew that ferret. Just when he stood up to get a closer look, it ran behind the bar. Sirius looked around; no one was paying much attention to him so he decided to follow. He sneaked into the back room and saw a door standing ajar, he opened it and suddenly, he was outside, on the back side of the pub. He looked around and saw the ferret at the corner of the building, he followed it and was at the front side of the Three Broomsticks and the ferret was gone. Sirius looked around but it was nowhere to be seen. There was a small voice in his head, telling him that he should just go back inside but his gut told him not to. He knew that ferret and it wouldn't be in Hogsmeade without a good reason. Then, suddenly he heard a distant noise, screams, shouts. Sirius ran down the street and saw light. No. Fire. Sirius eyes widened and he was just about to run straight towards the fire when something held him back. The ferret, he thought, Regulus' ferret. Following an instinct he turned around, towards the pub.

»James! James! We need to get out of here. All of us. «, he hissed frantically. James looked at him, like he had just grown another head.

»Why? What happened? «

»Death Eaters. In Hogsmeade. Just down the street. «

»Shit. «, James said and jumped to his feet. »Alright everyone! Party's over, we go back to the caste. NOW! «, shouted and the students looked at him in bewilderment.

»Why? «, a scrawny Hufflepuff asked.

»Because I say so. «, James replied and opened the door.

Sirius fought his way through the pupils to find Remus and told him what was going on; he understood immediately and with the help of Lily, the three sober Marauders managed to get everyone out of the pub. James, Remus, Lily and Sirius waited until everyone was save on their way back to the castle when suddenly a curse hit a bush next to Frank who had also stayed behind with his girlfriend, Alice.

»What the - «, he said and turned around, his eyes wide. Sirius followed his example and saw that a group of people was approaching them, wands drawn and it was obvious that they had caused the fire. Sirius narrowed his eyes to see their faces but had not much luck, except –

»If that is not my favorite cousin. «, a female voice snarled and Sirius felt a cold shiver running down his spine.

»Bellatrix. «, he said. Now that they stood only steps away from each other he could see more faces. Next to Bellatrix stood her husband Rodolphus and Narcissa's husband Lucius Malfoy, behind them were four man, Sirius didn't know by name and, again Sirius shivered, Regulus and Snape.

»We told you that it was your decision to make; you made the wrong one. Now you have to live with the consequences. «, she said and laughed madly. »Oh, this is going to be so much fun. Say goodbye to your little friends. «, she giggled and raised her wand but Sirius was quicker. »Stupefy! «. Bellatrix ducked but the man behind her wasn't as quickly and dropped to the ground. More spells were cast and Sirius tried his best to hit Bellatrix but she was good. Too good.

»Petrificus Totalus. «

»Protego. «

»Go on, cousin! Kill me if you can! Crucio! «.

The curse hit him right into his chest and he immediately forgot everything. He didn't know anymore where he was or why and who the people around him where. It was pain. Pain like he had never felt before. And then it was over and Sirius was left lying on the ground, panting, desperately trying to get up. There was hand on his cheek, it was warm and rough. Sirius looked up and looked right into Remus' concerned eyes.

»Get your hands off my cousin you dirty half – blood! «, Bellatrix screamed. »Avada Kedavra! «. Sirius saw the curse breaking out of the tip of Bellatrix wand, directed at Remus and he did the only thing that came into his mind. He pushed Remus away as hard as he could and made him fall to the ground but the curse missed him. A flood of relief and anger swept over him and he jumped to his feet, pointing his wand at Bellatrix who was laughing again. »Crucio! « he shouted and now it was Bellatrix on the floor. Bellatrix screaming and twitching and Sirius was laughing and he was sure that he was losing his mind but it felt so good.

»Sirius stop! «, Remus voice sounded distant but the hand on his arm was closer than anything he had ever felt. He lowered his wand, feeling sick and exhausted. His eyes were burning from tears. He saw Bellatrix stirring, struggling to get up.

»Stupefy. «, James shouted.

»Protego! «

Sirius turned his head and saw Regulus standing a few steps away, protecting their cousin. His eyes were fixed on Sirius, challenging him to do something. Anything. But he couldn't. He shook his head and stepped away, letting his friends take over. He was tired and it was all too much. Another curse rushed past him, missing him only a few inches but he didn't care. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. He had done it. He had cast an Unforgivable Curse. He was just like the rest of his family. Just a sick, twisted Black that enjoyed hurting other people.


Remus

Remus saw Sirius stumbling backwards, his eyes empty and unfocused. It had been hard, seeing him torturing Bellatrix and laughing. Laughing like a lunatic. Remus stunned Rudolphus, five of the nine Death Eaters were lying on the ground now, leaving Bellatrix, Regulus, Snape and Lucius to fight. The problem was, that those two seemed to be the best fighters of them and Alice and Frank were both unconscious, Sirius seemed in some state of shock which left Lily, who was bleeding badly from a wound at her head, James and himself. Three against four. Suddenly he heard shouts. Spells were cast and a lot of people seemed to be around them. Remus let himself drop to the ground and looked around. Professor McGonagall, Professor Slughorn, Professor Flitwick and Professor Dumbledore had come down from the castle and the remaining Death Eaters were trying to get away as quick as possible, taking their hurt ones with them. When they were gone Remus stood up and his eyes fell onto Sirius who seemed to have caught himself again. His eyes were no longer glassy and his face showed at least some kind of emotion although it was impossible to tell which.

»How could this happen? Is any of you hurt? «, Professor Slughorn asked but no one bothered to answer. While Professor Flitwick cast an Ennervate on Frank and Alice, McGonagall and Dumbledore listened intently to what happened.

»We were in the pub and then Sirius came in and said that there were Death Eaters in the village so we tried to get everyone back to the school but we weren't fast enough. «, James quickly explained.

Dumbledore turned to Sirius. »And how did you know that they were here? «, he asked.

»Like James said, I was outside. «, he answered immediately. »I just needed some fresh air. «. Remus watched Dumbledore whose eyes were fixed intently on Sirius like he was trying to see right through him. He nodded, a strange expression in his eyes and Remus couldn't blame him. Sirius was a smooth liar but it did seem a bit unbelievable that Sirius just went outside because he needed 'some fresh air'; everyone who knew Sirius, knew that that was unlikely and Dumbledore definitely did know him.

»Very well, I would suggest that we should go back to the castle. Horace, Filius, why don't you bring Mr. Longbottom and Miss Prince to the Hospital Wing? «, Dumbledore said. A few minutes later, Remus, Sirius, James and Lily were alone with their two teachers.

»Now, I'd like to congratulate you for your daring and your ability to think clear and act quick in the face of danger. Those are important abilities. Abilities that will be needed. Now, you have, I'm certain, heard about the rumours of the Order of the Phoenix? «, Dumbledore asked and they all nodded. »It is, in fact, much more than a rumour and I'd like you to join, once you have left this school. If I remember correctly, you Mr. Black and Mr. Potter, have intentions of becoming Aurors? «, again they nodded. »That is good. We need people within the Ministry. «, Dumbledore mumbled but Remus was almost sure that he wasn't talking to them anymore but rather to himself. They arrived at the school and McGonagall ordered them to return to the Gryffindor Tower which they complied only too happy