To dream a dream
Is dangerous it seems

(Dogstar - Stagger)


Sirius

»Today is a very, very sad day. «, Sirius announced, sobbing theatrically, behind him, James rolled his eyes. »Our beloved James is finally going to leave the fair pleasures of adolescence to enter the final state of boredom. This, my friends, is the beginning of the end. James has always been a true friend and a loyal brother. Together, we caused mayhem and disorder! We defeated school rules and suffered from many detentions! We battled against exams and stood side by side in many drunken nights! Now, I will surrender him to Lily, the Fierce. She is truly one of a kind and a kind one, truly. Never have I seen such a great heart but at the same time such will power to withstand the wooing of a handsome and witty bloke as James is. Yes, my dear friends, you heard right! Lily Evans fought hard against his efforts to win her heart. She fought, she lost and we are all glad that she did for a lovesick James is an unbearable, obnoxious and highly depressing pain in the arse and if you haven't seen it yet, be grateful! «. he paused and took a sip of his beer. »Now, where was I? Ah, yes. My arse has been kicked many a time because I used to be an idiot. I still am. Nevertheless, I ought to thank James for his concern about my better parts. I also ought to thank Lily because she was the one that finally managed to knock some sense into that thick head of James. I still remember the day those two met for the first time, like it was yesterday; we were all on the Hogwarts Express and James and I had had a heated debate about Quidditch, when she suddenly entered the compartment and asked if she could sit with us. Naturally, we confirmed and maybe, just maybe, everything would have been different, if James hadn't called her a damsel in distress and referred to himself as the knight in shining armor. I will spare you the details, Ladies and Gentlemen, but it might or might not have been that day that Lily Evans slapped James Potter for the very first time, which was incidentally the moment he fell eternally in love with her. I, myself, have grown to love that women and I wouldn't want to miss her for the world. I wish you all the best there is and hope that you will have many years of being disgustingly in love with many little James's and Lily's. To Lily and James Potter! «, he said and raised his bottle.

»To Lily and James Potter! «, the guests echoed. Sirius stepped down from the table he had been standing on and went over to his best friend who grinned like the cat that just got the cream. »Great speech, mate. Didn't think you'd had it in you. «, James said and gave Sirius a tight hug.

»Well, what can I say. Just one of my countless talents. «, Sirius replied, grinning back at James.

»Prat. «, James mocked and hit him on the back of his head.

Sirius backed away to make space for all the other guests that wanted to congratulate the couple. His eyes scanned the room for Remus. He saw Frank and Alice, dancing together, oblivious to the world, Dorcas and Emmeline kissing, no snogging, passional in a dark corner of the room, Molly Weasely on a chair with one of her children sitting on her lap, next to her was one of her brothers, was it Fabian or Gideon? Sirius didn't know. He saw Peter and Marlene, now also entering the dance floor but no Remus. Sirius frowned. Where was he?

»Looking for someone? «

Sirius winced and turned around. The other Prewett twin was standing very close to him, offering him another drink which he took gratefully.

»Maybe I was looking for you. «, he said ambiguously.

»Maybe you were. «, Prewett replied with a wink and sipped at his beer without breaking eye contact. »We never got around to have that drink. «, he suddenly said. Fabian, then, Sirius noted and nodded.

»Too true. So, what are you up to after this? «

»Are you asking me on a date? «

»Maybe I am. Are you accepting? «

»Maybe I am. «, Fabian answered with a wide smile. Both men quickly emptied there bottles and Sirius led Fabian onto the dance floor.


Remus

Remus had gone outside right after Sirius had finished his speech. He was tired and his whole body was aching, since the full moon was only day away. When he went back inside his eyes fell immediately onto the dance floor where Sirius and one of the Prewett brothers where dancing. Remus sat down and nipped at his beer. He didn't even notice that he was watching Sirius, until someone cleared his throat right next to his ear. »Ahem. Earth to Remus. «.

Remus turned his head and saw James looking at him thoughtfully, »You know…if you'd just do something about it this would be a whole lot easier for he both of you. «

Remus frowned, »What are you talking about? «

»I think you know what I'm talking about. «

»Let's just pretend that I did, completely hypothetically, what good would it do? We're friends, James. Nothing more. It's better this way. «

»Yeah, just keep saying that, maybe it'll be true someday but I wouldn't get my hopes up too much. «. It was hard for Remus to interpret the expression on James' face. He looked sad and annoyed but there was also that James – ish glimmer in his eyes, like he knew something that nobody else did. »Anyway. Stop sulking and have some fun. «, James said and dragged Remus across the room where Lily was talking to her sister.

»- understand, thanks for coming anyway. «, Lily said and gave Petunia a quick embrace. Vernon Dursley, Petunias husband stood a few steps away and Remus could see him scowling. »Alright, that's enough. Petunia, darling, we really need to leave now. «, he suddenly barked and took his wife's hand to make her go with him. Lily watched them leave with a sad look in her eyes.

»Just ignore them, Lily. I know she's your sister but if she doesn't want your affection, then she doesn't deserve it. «, said James and placed a gentle kiss on Lily's forehead who immediately smiled and pulled her husband into a real kiss.

»Now, Remus. «, she said, turning to her friend. »Ready to dance? «, he asked and offered him her hand. Remus hesitated a moment but then took it and led Lily onto the dancefloor, careful not to look at Sirius and Fabian.

When Remus woke up the next morning, he had a major headache and his left knee was red and swollen. He frowned, trying to remember what had happened the previous night but he gave up as soon as he realized that even thinking was painful. He lay groaning in his bed, wishing he could just go back to sleep but of course, that didn't work. He paused, opening his eyes again, he carefully looked around. This is not my bed. He suddenly realized. Where the hell am I? The door opened and Lily's head appeared.

»Good morning, Remus. Thought I heard something. How do you feel? «, she asked and Remus let out another groan. »Yeah, I thought so. Hang on a sec, I'll get you a Hangover Potion. «, she vanished again and Remus closed his eyes, trying to ignore the throbbing of his knee and his brain. »There we go, take this. «, Lily was back and gave him the potion. After a few minutes, the pain in his head slowly died away and he could think more clearly.

»Thank you. «, he whispered.

»No problem. You got mighty smashed last night. «, Lily said. Remus frowned; again, he tried to remember. He'd been dancing with Lily, that much he knew, then he had talked to Peter and Marlene and they had had a few shots of Muggle Whisky and then –

»Remus? «

Remus looked at Lily who looked back at him in concern. »I need a shower. «, he said and got up to go to the bathroom. Standing under the hot water he felt almost like a human being again. Sirius, he thought, Sirius and Fabian. He had seen them on the dancefloor and then Fabian had gotten them another drink and then they were kissing and Remus had seen Sirius taking Fabians hand and leading him outside. He hadn't seen them after that. Remus felt sick. He wanted to cry and scream. He wanted to disembowel Fabian and then strangle Sirius with the guts. He wanted to apparate to Sirius' flat immediately and tell him that they should give it another shot. That he was sorry.

No! Remus told himself firmly. Stop thinking about that. And he tried. He tried really hard but his traitorous brain seemed to have a life on its own. Still feeling a bit wobbly, Remus left the shower and went into the kitchen to sit down at the table where Lily had already placed a pot of tea.

»You look better. Almost like a human being, again. «, Lily joked when he took his mug.

»I feel much better, thank you very much. «, he answered. »Where's James? «

»Work. He got an emergency call, this morning. «. She looked a bit annoyed by the fact that James had to work the day after their wedding and Remus couldn't blame her. They sat in silence for a moment, drinking tea and Remus' thoughts wandered back to last night. He didn't get Sirius. He really didn't but what was even worse, was that he didn't get himself sometimes. He had thought that he was over Sirius, he really wanted to be but somehow…

A great, silvery stag suddenly appeared in the middle of the kitchen, »Peter is on his way, make some tea and look after him, till I'm home. «, James voice echoed through the room and both, Lily and Remus looked at the fading Patronus, frowning. Seconds later, the doorbell rang and Lily winced but immediately jumped to her feet and hurried to the door. She returned with a devastated looking Peter and sat him down on the chair, while Remus poured him a cup of tea.

»Merlin – what happened? «, Lily asked but Peter only shook his head, staring onto the table, his eyes glazed. He seemed to be in some kind of shock. Lily looked at Remus, helplessly but he could only shrug. A few moments later, the door opened again and James came in, followed by Sirius, both were looking like they were close to braking down.

»Lily, take Peter to the bedroom and give him a Sleeping Draught. «, James ordered his wife. His voice sounded tired and flat. Lily complied and soon enough, Peter was lying in the very same bed, Remus had woken up in, fast asleep.

»What happened? «, she asked again, when they all sat together at the kitchen table. Despite the tension, Remus couldn't help but feel a bit uncomfortable, sitting this close to Sirius.

James swallowed, »There was another attack last night. «, he began but his voice failed.

»They're all dead. «, Sirius suddenly spoke. His voice was hoarse and strange but he seemed a bit calmer than James. »His dad, the girls…all dead. The Mark was there too. Peter spent the night at Marlene's and found them this morning when he got home. «. When Sirius had finished, a heavy silence fell over them. Nobody really knew what to say. They all had known Mr. Pettigrew and Peter's sisters quite well and this was just too much to comprehend. Remus didn't know how long they had sat there but eventually, James and Sirius had to return to the office and Remus and Lily were left behind to take care of Peter once he would wake up.


Sirius

The funeral was a quite affair. The Marauders had all worked together to organize it and to take some of the burden off Peter who was still in a shock and hardly ever spoke more than one or two sentences. It had not been possible for the Aurors to find the responsible Death Eaters and the increasing number of attacks made it difficult to keep up with the cases. Sirius' one – night stand with Fabian after the wedding was already half forgotten and Sirius was glad that they both saw it as what it had been: just a bit of fun. However, he actually didn't have much time to think about those things because he spent even more time in his office now and whenever he wasn't working he was on some kind of mission for the Order.

»We need to find out more about Voldemort's plans. Who are his supporters? Where does he get his money from? What kind of secret weapons does he possess? «, Moody barked. His lost eye had been replaced by an electrical, blue, magical eye which seemed to be able to see pretty much everything and made him look even scarier than he did anyway. The Order meeting took place in the Hog's Head, a shabby looking pub in Hogsmeade and Sirius was surprised to learn that Aberforth, the owner of the pub, was Dumbledore's brother. He hadn't even known, Dumbledore had a brother.

»I think the money is clear. «, Sirius remarked. »There are a lot of old, rich families who sympathize with his ideas and support him financially. «

»Like your family, Black? «, Kilian Hume, an old, grey wizard asked. Sirius had never really liked him and he found it especially unfair that his family's reputation should reflect on him just because of his sodding surname.

»Yes, Hume, like my family. «, he said, trying to keep his voice calm.

»The Blacks are not the only ones, though. «, Lily said. »The Malfoys are confirmed followers of Voldemort. Just like Nott, Crabbe, Goyle and Merlin knows who else. I imagine that he also has allies outside of England although it should be difficult to prove that. «

»Lily is right, basically every single one of the ancient, old – fashioned pure – blood families are potential supporter of You – Know – Who. «, Alice threw in. »And, how some of the attacks show, he also must have some of the Dark Creatures following his lead. «. Sirius could see Remus shift uncomfortable in his seat.

»You're thinking off Greyback. «, he asked and Alice nodded. »Maybe you're right but for me it's hard to believe that Greyback would take orders from anybody but himself. «

»I think you're underestimating his greed. If Voldemort pays him enough money, he sure as hell wouldn't turn don an opportunity to go on a little hunt. «, Moody said. »I've dealt with him enough times to know that he has a preference for little boys and if he even gets something else out of it than then fresh blood, then he would merely see it as a bargain. «

»So…what do you suggest? «

»Nothing. There's nothing we can do about it. The werewolves will not negotiate with us. We have nothing to offer; not with the recent werewolf – restriction laws that that Umbridge woman enforced. «. Sirius grimaced. Of course he had seen the new laws. It was sickening, really. Like werewolves were no longer people but rather monsters with the intention to take over the world. He threw a glance at Remus and decided that it was time to change the subject. »So if we can't do anything about that. What can we do? Sure, we still watch the potential meeting points and try to gain information but that can't be all, can it? «, he asked, almost desperately. He wanted to do something. Anything.

»I'm afraid not, Black. We can hardly keep up with the incoming cases in the Auror Department, let alone that we actually find any evidence. Those fools in the Ministry are still trying to ignore the danger and to keep everyone calm, like that would keep anyone alive when a group of Death Eaters stands in front of your door. «

Highly frustrated, the meeting slowly dissolved. Sirius, Remus, James, Lily and a few others, however stayed a bit longer, drinking Butterbeer and trying to find some solutions to their problems. Only now, Sirius noticed that Peter had not been there. He turned to Marlene who sat at the other end of the table to ask her where he is, but she only shrugged. »I don't know. He broke up with me a few days ago. «, she said, staring sadly at her drink. Sirius blinked. He had not known that Peter had ended things with her. Thinking about it, he had not seen Peter since the funeral. Poor bloke, he thought.


Remus

Remus was surprised to find a letter from Dumbledore at home.

Dear Remus,

Please meet me next Saturday at the Shrieking Shack at 3 p.m. and don't tell anyone where you are going. I can assure you that these strange arrangements are necessary and I ask you to trust me.

Albus Dumbledore

Remus frowned. What did that have to mean? Why would Dumbledore want a secret meeting with him? He didn't make any sense, so Remus decided to ban it from his thoughts. He would find out soon enough.

The week went by without any further disruptions and Remus Apparated punctually at 3 p.m. to Hogsmeade to go the last meters to the Shrieking Shack by foot. He was surprised to find Dumbledore already waiting.

»Hello Remus, it is good to see you. «, he greeted him with a kind smile.

»It good to see you too, Professor. «

»Now, I can imagine that you are very curious why I should ask you to meet me under such peculiar circumstances. «

»I – I am. «, Remus admitted.

»It is quite easy, actually. I will have to ask you to do something for me but first it is of utmost importance that you swear not to tell anyone of your mission. «

»Mission, sir? «

»I want you to do something for me, Remus. It will be difficult and dangerous and I cannot guarantee for your safety nor can I promise you that my plan will work but it is mandatory that we try. I trust you Remus and I'm afraid that you are the only one that is able to go. «

Remus frowned. He had a feeling that he knew exactly what Dumbledore was going to ask of him. The question was, did he want to accept? »You are going to ask me to join a pack, aren't you? You want me to make friends within the werewolves and to convince them to join us. «

»I know it is a lot to ask for but it would be a great victory to have some of the so called Dark Creatures support us against Voldemort. «

Remus nodded. Dumbledore was right of course and it was not like Remus hadn't had the same thought already but still he was hesitating. Joying a pack, meant giving in to everything he had been fighting against all those years. It meant leaving everything behind.

»Of course I don't expect you to make a decision now. You shall have time until June to think about it but I will have you to promise me not to confide in anyone. Not even you closest friends. «

»Of course, Professor. Thank you. «, Remus said.

June, he mused when he got back home, that are three months. Three months to think about it. Three months to say goodbye.