When you are speaking to me, I'll believe it's true
And if you're lying then there's really nothing I can do
Everything's okay, I'm staring at a better day
If I forgive today, will these memories go away?

(Dogstar - Forgive)


Sirius

It was Halloween and it had been raining all day. Sirius sat grumpy in his flat and drank Butterbeer. He felt terribly lonely and tried to keep himself from doing something stupid like visiting Remus. James' and Lily's words echoed in his head over and over again and he couldn't help but agree with them. He was a bloody, pathetic coward. From far away, Sirius could hear rolling of thunder. Fits my mood, he thought bitterly.

Suddenly a doe appeared in the middle of the room and Sirius almost dropped the bottle of Butterbeer. Lily's Patronus was a doe, and if she sent it, that meant something had happened.

»Pettigrew is the spy. «

At the sound of Snape's voice, Sirius did drop the bottle and spat out. He needed a moment before realizing what it had said. Pettigrew is the spy.

»OH, THAT FUCKING RAT! «

Furious, Sirius jumped to his feet. He wanted to rip him apart. He wanted to burn him alive.

»That bloody, treacherous, coward! I'm going to kill him! I - «, Sirius halted, eyes wide in shock. Peter is the Secret – Keeper. He felt sick. How could he do this us? How could I suggest him? How could I be so stupid? His whole body was shaking when he tried to cast a Patronus to warn Lily and James. He needed three attempts until a huge, shaggy wolf appeared in front of him, » Peter's the spy. Get out of there, now! «.

He sent two other Patroni to Remus and Dumbledore before he Apparated to Godric's Hollow. The street was dark and silent, Sirius shuddered and hurried towards the house, when suddenly, he heard a massive explosion. The windows of the second floor of the Potter's Cottage burst into thousands of pieces.

»NO! «

Sirius ran. The door was still open and the only sound now, was the crying of a baby. Harry! Sirius had no idea how he had managed to get up the stairs, he didn't remember entering Harry's room, everything was a blur and as he stood in the doorframe the only clear thing were Lily and James, lying on the floor in front of Harry's bed. There was a third person, lying on the floor but Sirius payed them no attention, all he could see were his friend's motionless bodies.

»No, no, no, no. «

His knees hit the floor. Sirius felt teas, hot and burning, running down his face but he didn't feel anything anymore. He was numb. Empty. He felt dead.

»S – Sirius. «

He registered that there was voice, calling his name but he didn't turn around. It didn't matter. Crawling on all fours, Sirius crossed the room and wrapped his arms tightly around James. His face was pale and covered in dust, his eyes were closed.

»Sirius. «

Sirius closed his eyes. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real, he thought over and over again because when he just believed in it, it would be true. He clutched tighter to James' body and – snapped his eyes open. He gaped at James.

»He – he's breathing. He's breathing. He's alive! «, he shouted out. He still had no idea who it was that stood behind him but they seemed to understand because he could hear the words, »Expecto Partonum. « and somehow the voice was so familiar that he felt like he should know it by heart but that didn't matter now either because James was alive and he would not let him die.


Remus

Peter is the spy.

Remus didn't want to believe it. It just couldn't be true but when he had reached the Potter's Cottage and even more, when he had entered Harry's room he knew it was true. The house was in ruins, Harry's room looked like a bomb had exploded and in a way it had. Severus Snape had lain in the middle of the room, dead. Only a few steps behind him, Lily and James. They had been lucky, according the Healers. Apparently, Snape and Voldemort had both cast the Avada Kedavra at the same time, the spells had hit each other and caused an explosion. Voldemort was gone. Snape was gone, too. Lily and James were in St. Mungo and Sirius and Remus both refused to go home. They couldn't leave their friends. Remus sat outside on the corridor, Harry on his lap while Sirius was still inside and stared at James' face. When he came out of the room, he stopped and looked at Remus, apparently looking for words.

»Moony. «, he began but cut himself off. He closed his eyes and Remus couldn't help but feel sorry for him. Slowly, Sirius approached Remus and Harry. Remus stayed silent. He didn't know what to say and he was sure that Sirius was just working up the courage to put his thoughts into words and he didn't want to interrupt him. Suddenly, Sirius fell on his knees, right in front of Remus, he was crying, not even trying to hide it, he looked Remus in the eyes.

»Remus, I am so, so sorry. I should have never doubted you. Never. I knew you weren't the traitor. Deep down I knew that but I blamed you anyway because – because I love you so much. It scares the shit out of me, because you are the person that can break my heart. I love you, Moony. I love you now and I loved you back then. I always will. And I was so stupid for never doing anything about it. «

»Why now? What changed? «. Remus Hadn't meant for his words to sound so cold and his heart broke a bit when he saw the flinch in Sirius eyes.

»Everything. If Lily and James, die, what have I got left? I can't lose you too, Moony. I need you. «. And the rawness of his voice told Remus that that was true. Sirius was broken inside. He didn't have any strength left to hide his fears, his pain or any other of his feelings. Still, »Harry, needs you. «

»Us. Harry needs us. I can't do this on my own. Please, Remus, please don't leave. «

Out of an impulse, Remus raised a hand and stroked Sirius head. It wasn't much of a gesture but it felt like the world. He bent forward and placed a gentle kiss onto Sirius forehead.

»I'm not going anywhere and Lily and James are not going to, okay? «

They sat like that for the next minutes or maybe hours. Sirius' head in his lap, Sirius' arms, wrapped around his legs and Harry sleeping in his arms.

»You're still here, then? Have you talked to Dumbledore? «, Emmeline asked, as she came down the corridor. Remus had called her immediately after Sirius had announced that James was still alive. If they survived, it would probably be thanks to her. When. Remus thought. When thy survive.

»No. Not yet. But I know that Sirius has send him a message as soon as he knew what was happening. «

Emmeline nodded as a sign that she understood. »Well, are you going to stay here all night? «

»We're not going anywhere, Ems. «, Remus said.

»Calm down. I wasn't going to send you away, merely offering you a more comfortable place than the corridor. «, she smiled at them and lead them a few rooms down the corridor.

»You can stay here for the night although I'm positive that there won't be much change. We still have to figure out what exactly happened to them. We're fairly certain that they were not hit by any spell, they're just…not there, so it seems. Anyway. Goodnight, you two. «

Emmeline left the room and Remus was happy that he could sleep in a real bed for the night.

»Can I hold Harry? «, Sirius asked almost sheepishly. Remus smiled and gave Harry to his godfather. Sirius' face immediately lit up, when he looked at the sleeping child and Remus had to smile. It was nice to see that he might not be completely broken after all.

»Good night, Padfoot. «

»Good night, Moony. «