"What do you think you'd ever say?"

Jace

I walk down the halls and see Clary. She's talking to some nerd in my AP Physics class but she makes eye-contact when she sees me staring. Neither of us make a move towards the other, neither of us say anything, neither of us break eye-contact. It's as if we're frozen in this moment, unable to move, unable to speak, just frozen. We're both searching each other's eyes for answers to questions we'd probably never ask, questions I won't ask, questions I won't answer, things that could never be.

Someone claps me on the shoulder and I break the contact to see Sebastian, the most popular jerk (after yours truly of course) in the school.

"Come on Jace, how low was your score for that math test?" Sebastian asks. We just got them back and everyone thinks it's funny when I get low grades.

"I got a twelve." I reply, plastering a cocky grin on my face.

"Wow, you're more stupid than I am." Sebastian laughs.

"What did you get?" I ask.

"A forty-two." He answers. "That's forty more than you got."

No, it's thirty more points you nimrod. In all honesty I got a ninety-five but I have this deal with the teachers. They give me fake tests and assignments with poor grades but they give me my actual grades on the computer. Colleges will know I'm brilliant but the imbeciles I spend my time with won't. It's been an especially helpful system since middle school.

I glance at Clary again who gives me a knowing look. Why must she do that? Why does she act like she knows me? She doesn't. Besides, nothing can ever happen between us. Nothing can ever happen between anyone and me.

Clary not only has art with me but she also sits beside me in history class. History used to be my favorite subject until this distracting girl moved here. I know, history doesn't seem like the most interesting class in the world but if one learns about the past then one can change the future which is exactly what I intend to do. I'm not going to be the cause of anyone else's death.

"Did you really get such a low score in AP Calc?" She asks before class starts.

I nod and shrug as if it doesn't matter because this is what's expected of me.

"I find that hard to believe." She says.

I ignore this statement. There's no point in paying attention to this nonsense.

"You're smart-not just snarky but actually intelligent." She starts, clearly preparing to go into a long, drawn out speech.

"Stop." I interrupt.

She gives me a questioning look, her emerald eyes piercing my very soul. Clary can see me for who I am-not all of me-just a glimpse but this is still far too much for anyone to see. Especially someone like her who could actually get through to me. It terrifies me because this could kill her and that would be the death of me.

"Why?" Clary asks. "You know it's true."

I do, that's why I want you to stop talking.

"Just shut up." I growl.

"Excuse me?" She questions, giving me a look.

"I told you to shut up. What do you think you'd ever say? What could you possibly say to me to make me change my actions? How did you picture this conversation in your head? Did you think I would just smile and nod as you spoke? It won't happen so just stop." I snap.

Clary glares at me but there's hurt underneath the glare. Hurt that I caused. Even when I'm protecting her I'm hurting her. This is why life is so difficult.