After a day of trust darkness returns

Hope turns his back on me.

Why is my world breaking

Again?

He doesn't see.

Shall I cry?

Would it change anything?

There's this anger inside me

Burning

Right next to my anxiety

And love

-

I hurt so much

Again.

He can't give me hope.

He even is capable of telling me that!

If I give up now what will be left?

Of me?

A ruin

Searching again

Not finding the one

My heart loves.

Because he can't be found

He already is.

It's him – and I know.

-

And why does he not live for us?

-

I cry

I scream

I stay silent

Bursting within

My feelings fighting

I hate him

I love him

I doubt the sense in waiting for him to decide

To choose me

Because - what if he doesn't?

-

Why does he so stupidly waste my time, love and energy?

Why do I?

Can't he feel me breaking endlessly down down down?

-

I feel myself breaking inside

How long till I break on the outside as well?

I'm weak.

I feel life draining out of me

And I can't find the will to care

He doesn't want to see me

Nor hear me

Cause he doesn't like what I say

How I fight

How I struggle to stay inside his life

His heart

How can he give up?

So easily

-

Why am I not important?

-

Too strong to cry in front of him

Too proud and angry to let myself sink that low

Too strong to give up

Too weak to hold him

I fear

-

I want

I want

I need

I want

You

-

Where is my hope now?