After a day of trust darkness returns
Hope turns his back on me.
Why is my world breaking
Again?
He doesn't see.
Shall I cry?
Would it change anything?
There's this anger inside me
Burning
Right next to my anxiety
And love
-
I hurt so much
Again.
He can't give me hope.
He even is capable of telling me that!
If I give up now what will be left?
Of me?
A ruin
Searching again
Not finding the one
My heart loves.
Because he can't be found
He already is.
It's him – and I know.
-
And why does he not live for us?
-
I cry
I scream
I stay silent
Bursting within
My feelings fighting
I hate him
I love him
I doubt the sense in waiting for him to decide
To choose me
Because - what if he doesn't?
-
Why does he so stupidly waste my time, love and energy?
Why do I?
Can't he feel me breaking endlessly down down down?
-
I feel myself breaking inside
How long till I break on the outside as well?
I'm weak.
I feel life draining out of me
And I can't find the will to care
He doesn't want to see me
Nor hear me
Cause he doesn't like what I say
How I fight
How I struggle to stay inside his life
His heart
How can he give up?
So easily
-
Why am I not important?
-
Too strong to cry in front of him
Too proud and angry to let myself sink that low
Too strong to give up
Too weak to hold him
I fear
-
I want
I want
I need
I want
You
-
Where is my hope now?
