Chapter 12

Julie walked into the cafeteria with Lois at her side. She really wasn't in the mood for being on public display but other than hiding out in a stall in the girl's bathroom she has no options. Julie was seriously considering the stall but the thought of overhearing girls talk about her was more than she could stand. She'd prefer to pretend that the gossip wasn't occurring; denial isn't just a river in Egypt and all that.

They walked in, got their food and found a quiet table in the corner. Julie hid behind the curtain of her hair looking solely at Lois, sitting opposite her. Lois had kept asking her what was wrong and Julie had played dumb. Julie threw a quick glance around the room and no one was looking at her. She breathed a sigh of relief. Maybe no one had heard the interchange between Tyra sounding off. She checked the room out by peeping through her hair. She realised why no one was giving her the time of day. Tim had walked in. He wasn't alone.

Tim strode into the room with two blonde cheerleaders, one for each arm. Julie wanted to react, she wasn't sure in which way but the fury and probable tears were beginning to well. Heads turned in unison towards her. The whispers began when Tim turned to snog one of the girls in front of the audience. She could feel the desire for an argument from all the eyes but she couldn't do it. Right now they were assuming something was going on between them because of the couch rumour. None of it was based on fact as far as they knew. There was no way in Hades she was going to argue, react or be seen as being so terribly hurt.

Julie raised her head, flipped her hair back over her shoulder and looked at Tim and his company along with everyone else. She heard a gasp. Turning Julie saw Lois gesturing to her hickey and mouthing 'who' with bated breath. Lois was beyond excited and Julie's pledge to remain indifferent was quickly dissolving. Ignoring Lois she rose from her chair, picked up her tray and walked in Tim's direction. She walked slowly, drawing all attention away from him and his cheer-sluts. She paused just before him and they exchanged brief eye contact. She read complete indifference in his gaze. She stepped closer to him, smelling the vomit-inducing odour of vanilla body spray. Her nose twitched at the strong scent. Just before she stood immediately in front of him, she veered left clearing her tray and binning her remains. She walked straight backed and defiant out of the room. There was no way Riggins was going to get the better of her.

Leaving the cafeteria Julie ran straight into Tyra. It was really not who she wanted to see. All of Tyra's warnings had come to fruition but she felt the pang of the betrayal in the cavity of her chest. It wasn't supposed to be like this. Tyra slung an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her in a reassuring way. They walked silently out of the school building, their strides synchronised.

"I know it doesn't mean anything but I am sorry," Tyra offered.

"You did warn me," Julie offered. "It wasn't supposed to be this way. He wasn't supposed to be that way."

"Oh honey," she hugged her again "let's find a nice little private spot and you can cry it out. That tree over there looks like it needs a watering," Julie sniffed into Tyra's shoulder and nodded. It sounded like a great idea.

"I can't do it for fun Tyra," she sobbed.

"I know, you are an all in girl," Tyra comforted her as the tears fell.

How had everything gone so wrong since this morning? How was she going to face him at home after seeing him kiss another girl? She couldn't comprehend that the Tim she had gotten to know and care about had done that. Sure, they weren't exclusive and they'd never discussed 'what they were' but it was still hurtful. For the first time the excuse of staying at Lois' house wasn't an excuse. Julie has finagled an invite to stay there as long as she disclosed to Lois where she'd gotten the hickey. The one positive about having parents as school staff was that the requests could be immediately dealt with. After talking with her mom it was all arranged to stay at Lois'. She desperately needed some time to think and be out of the Tim-sphere for at least 24 hours. As they walked home after school, Julie fibbed and told Lois that in a fit of indecision she had made out with Matt for two seconds. Lois seemed to accept this explanation for the hickey but was disenchanted when the story didn't involve a steamy interlude with Riggins.

Laying in a sleeping bag that night Julie thought about how she had gone from a massive make out session to hiding out in less than 12 hours. Julie worried about what Matt and Tyra thought, what Tim made of it when she didn't rock up for her ride home – did he even care? She had never even gotten the chance to speak to Tim about the Matt interchange. He surely wasn't jealous but he may have thought she lied when she said Matt and her were over. She slept in a fitful state that evening. The peaceful quiet of dreaming eluding her.

Julie stalked into the school with long limbs and hair flying the next morning. So intent on making a strong impression, of being a-okay, that Lois was scampering at her heels just trying to keep up. As she was collecting her books from her locker Matt approached. He didn't say anything, just searching her face for any signs of something being up. She looked at him and shrugged, smiling that she was okay. He walked her to class and the silent solace that he provided gave her some much needed confidence. To the school population it appeared that QB1 and the Coach's daughter were making amends, the Riggins rumour proving to be unconfirmed evaporated into thin air.

School was very haze like for the next few days. She didn't even bother eating in the cafeteria, choosing to spare herself the heart ache. Her stay at Lois' has lengthened, the girls inventing a group assignment that required an intense period of focussed work. Her parents were okay as they thought they were sparing Tim more hair removal and physical attacks.

Tyra and Matt were her comfort, the only ones who knew and propped her up. Of course Matt didn't even know that her unrequited crush on Tim had been reciprocated. Had he known would he be bothered with her? Tyra was a towering source of support, both literally and figuratively. Despite her initial rage at the Tim/Julie pairing she had been remarkably gentle and caring in the wake of the break down. Not once did Tyra say those four words 'I told you so' and Julie had never been so grateful for her friendship with the blonde.

"The key is to move on," Tyra informed her. Her face solemn and extremely convinced of what she was saying. "He has, now you should too."

"But I still don't even know what happened" she had answered. Had Tyra's intervention brought all his concerns to the forefront again? Was pashing some cheer-slut his way of saying 'we're done'? Was the idea of the Coach and sneaking around too much? Was she just entertainment? See if he could seduce the Coach's daughter. She didn't have any answers but she did have many questions. Hiding out at Lois' wasn't a long term option and she needed to face her fears. She'd been home to collect some clothes but she had ensured that it was during practise. She had effectively managed to avoid face time with the guy that broke her heart.

"But there isn't anyone that I am interested in Tyra. I like Tim and he doesn't want me. I don't even know if I want to go there now, he didn't give me any explanations. What do I do?"

"Have you ever thought that this is just Tim's way of dealing with situations?" Tyra asked her seriously.

"How?"

"He runs away or hides. You have to take the fight to him; he's never going to initiate it, ever." Tyra spoke with conviction "Or you could always find yourself some book nerd or tutor to hook up with." A huge grin spread across Tyra's face and they both broke into giggles. Tyra had let her in on her little Landry secret. Maybe she should find a guy that spoke more than two words and didn't play football. Nah, she wanted Tim. There'd been a misunderstanding somewhere and she needed to clear the air if they were to live with one another in the same house. Even if he had never felt a quarter of what she had felt for him then it would still be worth it. She wasn't going to hide. She wasn't going to let a football player make her cry anymore.

After school Julie had caught a ride with her mom, deciding it was time to move back in. Besides she missed her bed and her sister. She couldn't wait to give Gracie some raspberries on her cheek and belly. Her mom seemed pleased to have her back, which was pretty surprising considering her parents believed her to be on an anti-Tim rampage. She helped her mom with preparing the meal and feeding Gracie. The Coach and Tim not having yet returned from another training.

"I'm glad to have you back honey it's been so quiet without you," her mom said, giving her a quick hug. 'I know this Tim thing is strange but you really need to try and find a way to cohabitate without you knee capping or balding him." Julie had to smile at this. Sometimes her parents were so clueless.

"You know mom, you are so right. I think I might ask Tim to go for a walk with me tonight so I can apologise and clear the air. You know – stop acting crazy and all that stuff," her mom ate it up never realising she had provided the perfect excuse for Julie to thrash it out with Tim.

The men walked through the door, bringing with them the training smells. Julie laid low not wanting Tim to know she was back as of yet. Coach and Tim grabbed showers and came out for the meal. Tim walked in eagerly; he loved Tami's cooking, but pulled up short when he saw Julie sitting in her normal place. His eyes momentarily registered surprise but he quickly masked it. Dinner was the standard affair, practice was discussed, Gracie's new tooth, how much Julie had gotten achieved at Lois', that sort of thing. As they were cleaning up Tami called out

"Jules, I think you and Tim should go for that walk now." Tim's head snapped up in surprise, he had no idea about what was happening.

"Sure Mom, let's go Tim," she gestured to him with her hand. He had no option but to follow. They left the house, turned right and kept walking. He did not once look at her, examining the sidewalk, hair swishing to and fro, his hands fixedly tucked in his jean pockets. It was obviously going to be up to her to speak.

"So have you missed me?" Julie teased not knowing where to start this conversation. He didn't respond. Obviously humour wasn't the place to start. She felt more afraid by the second but she couldn't wimp out. She decided to go with cheerful "We kind of left everything in a weird place," she began "I really chickened out by staying away but ... I don't know. I haven't seen you at school...well except for that lunch. I got an A on that paper I was writing. Lois says hi. Tim you have to say something eventually." He stopped walking and looked at her. He didn't say a word.

"Tim. I feel like there has been a massive miscommunication where I am out of the loop. That morning in your truck we were getting along really well," she gulped "what I mean by that – we were really meshing. Oh no wrong words again. We connected. We have been connecting for weeks and then things just went haywire and I ran away. And Tim, I may have not made the effort til now but neither did you. What's going on 'cause I have no idea?" She took a deep breath. This was going worse than she had even anticipated. They stood there, the silence hanging heavily in the air, the awkwardness horrific.

"Are you back with Matt?" five little words broke the silence.

Julie opened her mouth to ridicule the question and then thought better. Tim had seen her hugging Matt in the hallway and goodness knows she had never been the most decisive person in the world. Perhaps he was back on the big brother kick, thinking he needed to have a few words with his quarterback. Julie's thoughts had been running through her head so fast that she'd be quiet for a few minutes. Tim stood there waiting for the answer, not enjoying the silent treatment he so often dished out to others. She really wasn't trying to make him suffer, rather trying to decide upon the best way of phrasing her answer.

"Jules?" he asked again.

"No," maybe keeping it simple was the way to go. Less likely to say the wrong thing or worse, too many things. Julie heard a breath of air being released not sure if it was from him or her.

"You were hugging him and smiling," he observed. His face hadn't changed expression in an hour, his eyes hard like flint.

"Well both things can be done together without meaning the individuals are together," she replied snarkily. "I mean someone could for instance kiss someone in a public place and I would assume those individuals were together. That's a bigger indication, wouldn't you say Tim?"

"I wasn't the one hugging my ex,"

"And I wasn't the one snogging a random cheer-slut. What is this seriously about Tim? If we are going into wise decision making then I think I win out on that one." This wasn't going as she had planned. He sighed, loudly.

"Jules..." he stopped not knowing what to say.

"Hugging can be innocent. Look" she said as she raised herself on her toes, wrapped her arms around his shoulder and hugged him, quickly, very quickly maintaining very little body contact. "See, an innocent hug. Why does it matter anyway Tim? Does my 'big brother' want to go and sort out my love life?" she mocked. Swinging her arms around wildly, her voice all over the place. Tim stood still like a statue.

"Big brother thinks Julie would be an idiot to get back with the quarterback," he hissed under his breath. Not necessarily directed at her but said nevertheless.

"Julie's not back with the quarterback. Julie isn't a girl who makes out with 'big brother' in his truck and get back together with an ex within three hours. What kind of girl do you think I am?" she shrieked. His eyes squinted when she hit a particular high note at the end. "It doesn't matter Tim. What we had, I don't know but you can't see me as anything other than as a little sister type and I am not one for random fun."

"I saw you with him. You had a huge smile on your face. He was holding you tightly and you liked it. I thought I would cut my losses." He said it very matter of fact.

"Cut your losses by making out in front of the school?" she asked with her eyebrow raised. He coloured at that remark.

"I never feel like that. I move on. The only thing you can depend on is yourself," he cryptically said.

"I don't understand. You wanted me to react?" she asked quietly. They were standing closer together but they'd never been further apart.

"I don't let myself feel disappointed. I was waiting for it," he said. Her face still showed confusion and he sighed knowing he would have to say more "I was jealous. I am not usually with girls like you, they are normally...

"Fun types?" she suggested.

"If you want to call them that. "

"I don't. There's a better word but I saving that one for you for the time being," she huffed.

"We never really said anything and I ah assumed that's what you wanted from me. Some fun and then get back to the boyfriend types. But when I saw you and Matt, I felt... let down. To be jealous you have to care and I did. I think I expected more, I wanted more. "That word, more, was back again.

"I want more too," she said softly leaning her forehead against his. Julie was on her tiptoes. Tim grabbed her hands to keep her steady.

"You know the cheerleader manoeuvre was pretty low," she whispered. The gentle breeze carried her soft words.

"Yeah but you were magnificent," his hands inched from her arms and crept round to embrace her. There was still space between their bodies, their foreheads touching. The quiet and their closeness the only thing that mattered.

"So uh um, we never talked about what we are...were...whatever. What's more?" her breath caught in her throat, nerves bunching in her chest.

"I think I need to move out," he responded. This was not what she expected. He saw her face and explained

"I want to see you without hiding it or being scared that your dad will take a hatchet to me. I need to move out and we'll take it from there."

"That's not an answer," she sulked. "Are we going to be together?" her voice trembled as she asked. He didn't respond. Tim dipped his head and took her mouth in his. It was a sweet kiss full of promise and a touch of heat. He drew back and touched her bottom lip with his thumb.

"Yeah," the breath she had been holding was released. "besides I want to be the only one that knows that you smell like fruit salad and have weaved my fingers through your hair and...well those lips are mine." His head dipped again and he kissed her with more hunger. His tongue delved in and Julie felt like it had been forever. She quickly leaned back, him arms still entwined around her.

"Only one? Does that just apply to me? How about I'm the only one who lends you shampoo? I'm the only one who gets to kiss you? I'm the only one who gets to make out in your truck." She peeked up at him expectedly.

"Hmm I'll have to think about that?" Julie looked up at him as painful ricocheted through her chest. His face contained a huge smile. He was joking.

"And I'm the only one who makes you laugh," Julie stated as a matter of fact, kissing him swiftly.

Author's Note – really long chapter but there was a lot of stuff to be worked out. The saucy stuff is coming and I know how much you guys appreciate that!!