CHAPTER 5

Sirius Black was a very, very angry man, and the main reason for that anger was none other than Albus Dumbledore. Ever since his old headmaster had suggested -or more like, kindly demanded- to use his childhood home as headquarter for the order he had become number 4 in Sirius' hate list, right under Voldemort, Pettigrew and James. Ok. maybe he was exaggerating just a little bit, but still. Damn that old fool... It didn't matter if he meant well, Dumbledore made him feel like a fucking puppet. Actually, he felt like they were all puppets and their precious leader was holding the strings, but it was for the 'greater good', and apparently that made everything ok..Well, most of the time, anyway.. Because for Sirius these strings had started to resemble a leash. A leash that held him hostage and prevent him from doing anything useful, other than making the house habitable. Great! The other members were risking their lives, and he was siting around playing house keeper. It wasn't long before he started getting the sense that he had traded one prison for another.

There were some days better than others, mostly when he had some company other than his firewiskey or the very obnoxious house elf who hated his guts. Remus tried to come and visit as much as possible, even if it was to help him with the house or just have a silly conversation over a cup of tea. No matter the reason, his visits were always welcomed and Sirius couldn't help but feel touched by Remus efforts to rebuilt their friendship. Unfortunately, they were many days when his loneliness and the emptiness he felt became too much, when he could feel the walls around him closing in, ready to crush him. And just like that, he was back in Azkaban.

But the emptiness he felt was almost nothing compare to the emotional roller coaster he was constantly on, courtesy of one Severus Snape. It was amazing how a single person could be the greatest source of both happiness and anguish. Severus was by far, the best thing that had ever happened to him and he thanked whatever deity existed that he was given a second chance with him. Every time Snape would visit it was like the rest of the word faded away, and nothing else mattered, just them. Sometimes it was like nothing had changed, as if they had picked up where they had left off, and other times it felt completely new and foreign, which made it even more exiting.

Sadly, the euphoric feeling that consumed him when Snape was around was replaced by despair every time he had to watch him leave, not knowing when he was going to see him again. Each time, Sirius was bombarded by the same questions: 'What if Voldemort hurts him again? Can he really fool them? How long can he keep this up? When is it going to end? Why does he have to be him? Am I going to see him again?'.

His mood swings were becoming a common theme, and a running joke between the order members. Right now he was on 'depressed mode', he hadn't heard from Snape in two days and he was beyond worry. He knew he was going to spend some time in Malfoy Manor hoping to extract some information from Lucius who had, somehow, managed to climb the death eater ladder rather quickly.

An hour passes and Snape is nowhere to be seen. Sirius just sits there, waiting, smoking cigarette after cigarette and trying his hardest not to completely freak out. He takes a sip from his firewiskey and starts pacing around trying to ignore the ticking sound from the old clock in the kitchen, each sound more offensive than the last. When the clock strikes ten he is beside himself. Somethings must have happened and he is five seconds away from barging in that fucking manor and find Snape, consequences be damned. He is already formulating a rescue plan when a familiar silky voice interrupts his thoughts.

"Are you going to offer me some of that whiskey? It's been a long day."

When Severus came into the kitchen, Sirius wasn't sure if he wanted to hug him and never let go or punch him for scaring him like that. In the end he decided to go with the first option, the latter could wait. All he wanted to do now was to be with the other man and make sure he was ok. But of course Snape had to beat him to that.

"Are you alright?" Severus asked.

"Me? You are the one who spent his weekend with wizard Hitler and his demented servants, when all I did was cleaning the house and fighting a stupid boggard that was hiding in the closet."

"That's why I am asking." Snape might have spent years without Sirius, but he did know the other man. Even when he was younger he would use humor and stupid jokes to disguise his pain. Severus knew Sirius was a fighter and being trapped in that house unable to help, was probably killing him.

"Can we pretend for a while that we are just two guys who want to spend a relaxing evening at home after one of them had a stressful day at work?"

Severus was not above putting whatever troubled him aside and act as if everything was normal, he had actually made a career out of pretending. "We always do that, don't we?", he asks, raising his eyebrow in the most snapish way.

"Well, we are both so good at it". Sirius says with a wink while giving Severus his famous cheeky smile, a smile that never failed to make his knees go weak. Damn, that stupid mutt. "And I think now would be a good time for you to kiss me, Mr. Snape."

Severus doesn't need to be told twice, and he crashes their lips together. It's not long before they feel the familiar sense of apparating and the next second they are both in Sirius' bedroom.

"You take my breath away you know that?" He whispers in Severus ear. Snape kisses him again while trying to unbutton Black's shirt. "Too many clothes", he murmurs between kisses.

Sirius can't help but snort at that. "Look who's talking"

"Oh, shut up"

"Make me"

And he does. Twenty seconds later they are both naked and laying in bed. Sirius settles on top of him, his eyes locked with Snape's as he runs his finger over his body. "God I love you."

Severus almost freezes at that, even though it shouldn't come as the surprise. Sirius never hid the fact that he loved him, on the contrary, he was quite vocal about it, the problem lied with him. He hadn't been able to say it back, not even once. He opens his mouth to speak but nothing comes out. Why couldn't he say it? He loved Black, he was sure of that. So what stopped him? He tries to turn his head way, to avoid Sirius disappointed look, but the other man doesn't let him. His eyes are so full of love as he stares at him, that makes Snape wanting to scream 'I love you too, you stupid mutt'.

"I Know, Severus." Sirius voice is soft yet full of determination "I Know."

They are both so lost in that moment, neither of them hears Sirius' name being called, or the bedroom's door opening. It is only when a high pitched scream almost makes their ears bleed that they notice a very shocked, almost petrified man standing under the doorway.

"Oh my God!"

It was official. Remus Lupin had the worst timing in the history of mankind. And he was so dead.