It had been a terrible day.
Emily closed the hotel room's door behind her and thanked the darkness that received her. She needed to stop thinking so much… her head hadn't stopped spinning around the same thing during the whole damn day: Alison. And speaking of the blonde… the brunette heard running water and she deduced that the girl would be in the shower.
Alison had been in her mind every second of the day. Reminding her of her past, making her doubt about her present and posing the fateful question of what would be her future.
Emily dropped her bag in one corner of the room and had no strength to be startled when it hit a white bag, probably the dinner left by Agathe for them, it was so late…
The brunette sat on the edge of the bed to remove her sneakers, whose laces she hadn't even bothered to tie before leaving the restaurant.
She shouldn't have made that call, ever, and less in the way she had done it. It's said that "ignorance is bliss" and the brunette had just discovered how true those words could be.
To be aware that Spencer didn't believe in her relationship, that she thought that she was making the biggest mistake of her life, that she had "left everything for a person she didn't know" and to listen, in live, how Hanna crumbled because she had chosen Alison over everyone… it all was poisoning her ideas. They were her friends, her best friends, and she was losing them for something she was doubting one more time because, with that conversation, she had gone back to consider everything relating to the blonde.
She had been analyzing every little gesture Alison had with her, and she hated herself for it. The girl was really trying it, she was putting all the effort in the world to make things right. But it was that, precisely that, what made her heart cringe. To think that what was between the two of them was an "attempt", that the blonde had to strive to be with her, that maybe… maybe Alison was just paying her with fake affection the fact of being there… that… that was killing her.
Couldn't she just love her?
Perhaps she was just dramatizing, perhaps she was just imagining the worst, preparing herself for a possible rejection once the blonde had organized her life in that new continent. Perhaps it was all in her mind, in that part of her brain that still wasn't able to understand or believe the way in which Alison acted. And the thing was that, every time she remembered how the blonde had manipulated her in the past, how she had played with her… every time she passed by her dark memories, Emily broke more and more.
At the restaurant she had been a walking chaos. With her face full of melancholy, and taking just half of the orders, letting slip off wineglasses and watching, without any remorse, how they got shattered at her feet… a horror.
What was wrong with her? Everything was fine… wasn't it?
But the truth was that she was still expecting things from Alison, words, more specifically.
She had gone there blindly trusting… what, exactly? Because if she thought about it (and that day she had been thinking about it a lot), they had never come to discuss de "important things".
She wanted the blonde to tell her what she had done during the time she disappeared, what she really felt for her, why she had done the things she did in the past, what…
At that time the bathroom door opened. The brunette hadn't realized that the stream of water falling on the walls and floor of the tiny room was no longer to be listened. The warm mist produced by the condensed steam almost got to touch her when it crawled out of the bathroom, diminishing even more the already dim light coming from the small bulb hanging from the ceiling above the sink.
- Emily! – Alison exclaimed when she came out and saw her sitting on the edge of the mattress. – You scared me, I didn't hear you come in.
The blonde caught her breath and walked barefoot to her nightstand. She was only wearing a towel. She'd pulled her hair into a high ponytail, revealing the drops of water that hadn't dried on the back of her neck.
- How was your day? Because mine was awful, can you believe that I've been locked in the storage room with Ann? – She began to say, she wouldn't go there anymore, ever.
Emily was barely listening her, she was only able to look at her. The blonde was relaxed, probably looking for her hairbrush and pajamas. Before she knew it, the brunette had stood and walked towards the girl, her heart rattling hard against her ribs.
- … and when they've taken us out it was almost five… awful. And the worst thing is that I hadn't had anything to eat in all morning and I was… - Alison stopped talking when she noticed the slight pressure of a warm hand on her right shoulder.
The brunette felt the little flinch of surprise that gave the girl when she touched her and, holding her breath, she leaned forward until her lips brushed the beginning of the curve of her neck.
Alison froze. Suddenly they were back in that locker room and the situation was out of her hands, again. She felt the same jump in her stomach from years ago, the same accelerated palpitations inside of her chest…
The brunette's lips left her skin with the same delicacy with which they had touched it and the hand over her shoulder fell, prey of the gravity.
Then the blonde turned and she just wanted to cry.
Emily's face had so much sadness that Alison was able to feel it within herself. The brunette was looking at the floor, her body rigid, as if she was waiting for Alison to reject her, as if all the time they had spent together had never existed…
She had hurt her so much in the past… She had let her fall in love with her, desire her, have hopes and expectations. She had taken from her all the love she had wanted and more because, when someone like Emily loves you, you feel the center of their universe, and she had loved being the center of her universe. She had enjoyed feeling loved, knowing that no matter what she did, Emily would always be there. She had trusted her loyalty and she had never endeavored to give her anything in return because, in the past, it hadn't been necessary.
But now… Now she wanted to give her everything.
Alison took the brunette's face in her hands and kissed her. She came as close as she could to her body and waited for the girl to react and return the gesture. A few seconds later the blonde felt her arms around her waist and her tongue asking for permission to enter her mouth.
How different it all would have been if she had reacted like that the first time Emily approached her... If she would have unfrozen her emotions letting them to grow freely and get in contact with the brunette's. How different it all would have been if she had allowed herself to love...
Now things would be simpler, now they wouldn't be like that.
It was a disaster that Emily still doubted what Alison could feel and that Alison still wasn't able to give Emily everything she deserved, everything she wanted to give her. And maybe they should talk, maybe they should sit down and calmly clear things up for once, because they were together, yes, but they still felt that, sometimes, there was an unbridgeable abysm between them.
- I love you. – It was the first thing the blonde said when she split up from the brunette's lips for air. She whispered it against her mouth, and Emily had to meet her eyes to know if she had heard correctly. – I love you. – She repeated a little louder, with more security but unable to control the slight tremor in her voice.
The brunette sighed with uncontained relief, she closed her eyes and ran her hands over the blonde's cheeks to attract her face towards her and kiss her lips again.
That was exactly what she needed to hear, exactly what she needed to feel in the urgency with which the blonde responded to her kiss, in the force with which her hands gripped her waist. She loved her, Alison loved her.
The statement had been tremendously convenient, that the blonde had to admit. She would have liked to tell her in a slightly less tragic moment, in a more beautiful place, in the light of the day, if possible, but it had just escaped her lips. She couldn't keep watching the brunette suffering because she wasn't able to say three words, much less when she felt those words.
That "I love you" had sneaked under her veins without her realizing it and if saying it out loud made Emily stop doubting she would say it, every day, even if the reality of that confession still scared her.
The brunette stroked the blonde's face spreading her fingers until she met her neck. She went over her soft skin, slowly, gathering further their bodies. Alison felt those fingers arriving to her hair to find the rubber band that was holding it up.
Carefully, Emily pulled the small complement and freed the girl's hair.
The brunette opened her eyes to see the golden waves falling over Alison's shoulders and she couldn't help but put her fingers between that curtain of silkiness.
She had always liked the blonde's hair, it was so perfect… but she had never had enough courage to touch it, at least not voluntarily. She could spend hours caressing those strands, but the desire that clouded Alison's eyes and the way her chest rose and fell because of her labored breathing changed her plans.
The blonde made the brunette take a couple of steps back until her legs collided with the mattress and placed her hands on her shoulders, urging her to sit on the bed.
Emily couldn't stop staring at her, she recorded with her eyes every movement she made, how she put one leg on each side of her waist, how her hands leaned on her shoulders and how she sat straddling her. Such simple movements and yet… so stimulating. At that time she kissed her, unable to control herself.
Her skin smelled of the body wash with which she had just showered, her mouth tasted of the mint toothpaste with which she had just brushed her teeth and the atmosphere, that warm atmosphere that was enveloping them, was full with her essence, with her.
- Alison… - The brunette sighed when she felt the girl's lips on her neck.
Emily put her hands on the blonde's bare thighs that the subtle towel hadn't been able to cover, and she sensed the heat radiating from her skin.
It was the typical moment when she used to stop.
She would draw her face with her hands, ceasing her advance. She would create a painful gap between them and she would probably go to the shower, letting their two hearts relax with the distance.
But she wouldn't do it that night.
Why would she postpone the inevitable?
Why would she evade something that they both wanted so undeniably?
Why would she continue avoiding the chance to fall a little more in love with the girl that had been living in her dreams for so many years?
The blonde trembled when she felt the brunette fingers, sinking into the skin of her legs. She could feel her heart beating against her mouth, like crazy, and she clutched more to her shoulders as her soft lips reached that sensitive place behind her ear.
Emily let her hands climb over Alison's body, cursing the rugged texture of the towel… a thin towel, and under it…
- Take it off. – Alison whispered before nibbling her right lobe.
Then the brunette held those blushing cheeks in her hands and looked into her eyes for a second, to make sure that she was ready, that they both were ready. In response the blonde took her hands and placed them on the edge of the towel, which was holding itself interlaced at her chest.
Emily didn't wait any longer and fulfilled her request, easily undoing the knot that sustained the cloth over her body. The brunette held her breath as she watched how, with the help of her hands, the tissue slid down her curves inch by inch, showing more and more unprotected skin. And then… Alison was naked.
It wasn't the first time that Emily had seen her like that and yet, she felt more nervous than when she had undressed her, piece by piece, in her own room. She thought that she would like for all the lights of the room to be turned on, in order to see her better, to really appreciate the beauty that was that girl, her girl.
When the brunette looked up, she met timid eyes that were watching each of her reactions. She touched her lips with her own and hugged her. That's when she realized that she was still totally dressed.
As if she had read her mind, Alison reached for the edge of her shirt and, after a quick glance, pulled it up, removing it from her body. Then, the blonde ran her hands through her ribs, on her way to her back, where she unfastened the clasp of her bra as soon as she found it. This time it was her turn to be amazed by Emily's nakedness.
The blonde bitted her lower lip, the girl was stunning. She wanted to feel again the known softness of that dark skin and, without hesitation, she traced the tip of her index finger over an imaginary line from the end of her neck to her navel, making the brunette shudder as she passed through the valley that was between her breasts.
Now it was Alison who wrapped her in her arms, she was the one mixing the heat of their bodies.
The two sighed at the contact.
The amount of sensations that waked up when their skins touched were inexplicable. And it was that, the mere touch of their bare skins, what resulted more pleasurable to them, what urged them to find the lips of the other and what prevented the modulation of the aggressiveness with which their tongues met in the battle of caresses that they began to fight among their mouths.
The blonde's hands roamed over Emily's naked torso, moving between their bodies until they found the button of the brunette's jeans. Alison stopped the kiss and pressed their foreheads together, watching as her trembling fingers liberated the small piece of metal.
Blue eyes looked for brown's one last time before the blonde got up and pulled the waistband of the brunette's pants, using the action to also drag the last item of cloth remaining on the girl, leaving her completely naked in front of her.
They were exposed, one to the other, vulnerable, and all the glances shared in that moment were looks of appreciation. The fact of realizing that it was all, it was them… and it was perfect.
The brunette reached out in search of the blonde's waist and Alison allowed the girl to have her closer again.
- I love you. – Emily said, her eyes closed and her left cheek resting on her chest.
Alison let her fingers immerse in the brunette's hair and lifted her face, making her dark eyes find hers, and Emily was surprised to see how those two deep oceans sparkled, as if they were about to overflow.
Then the blonde kissed her one last time before rushing over her body, making the brunette's back find the mattress, adjusting her figure on top of hers.
That night was different from the one that they had spent at Emily's room. The way they looked at each other, the way they touched… it was no longer just the brunette, giving affection and love from every cell in her body, no, now the blonde was also involved in that explosion of emotions, now the blonde was loving the brunette too.
Emily made them roll onto the sheets until she found herself over Alison. She could feel the heat radiating from the center of her body whenever her hips collided with hers and her heart jumped behind her ribs to know that Alison wanted her like that.
The brunette's right hand quickly slipped under the belly of the blonde, while her mouth was still busy with her pale neck. Emily vibrated when her fingers were welcomed by the warmth and soft wetness on the inside of Alison and she had to leave her skin for a few seconds to see how the girl lost herself in the moment, a prey of pleasure.
- Emily… - She said in an intense whisper that rose her chest and parted her lips as it left her body.
It was amazing to see how her eyelids drooped and her head was tilted back, she looked completely entranced. The brunette could feel the pressure of her left hand on her shoulder and the nails of her right hand digging into her back. It was beautiful to see how she was getting carried away.
At that time the blonde opened her eyes and they were not even cloudy, they were just dark, almost dangerous.
Alison stared at the brunette intensely while the hand that was scratching her back moved down her waist, wanting to make her enjoy that momentum as much as her.
Emily kissed her when she felt the deep caress, and they both moaned into the mouth of the other.
Yes, that night was being different than the one they had shared at Emily's room, it was being better, much better…
The bathroom light was still on, in fact, it was the only source of lighting throughout the whole room.
No sounds were able to break the silence that filled the place except for the light brushes of lips over soft skin and the little sights trying to provide enough air to lungs that were still agitated.
They were exhausted, still trying to calm themselves with gentle kisses, reveling in the contact of the other's body.
Emily slid a hand on the blonde's nape as she, lying almost completely on her, kissed her neck and shoulder.
- It was amazing. – Alison said to the brunette's ear and the girl blushed.
- Yes it was… - Emily whispered in response and the blonde looked for her mouth to re-cover it with her lips.
- God, I can't stop kissing you. – She confessed, and the brunette laughed, hugging her waist and meeting her eyes. There was something different about them, warmth, love… trust.
They both had made love. It seemed impossible that the girl looking at her just a few inches over her body was the same who had broken her heart years ago.
- It's incredible to be like this with you. – Alison said, fiddling with one of the brunette's strands of hair absently. – When I was away I thought about it, about how it could be, about how we could be… - The blonde had ruined everything with the brunette and, when she decided to disappear, she didn't think too much about how it would hurt her to not be able to go back and fix it. The only person who had really loved her, the only person who she could have really loved, and she had lost her. – Some days thinking about you was the only thing that helped me to keep going, to… forget the mess that I had become. Those were rough times… - Then she looked at her. – But if I was assured that, going through all that would lead me here, to you… I don't think I would mind going through it all one more time. – How would she mind if she was experiencing something that she had never thought she would? The love, the passion… Everything. Real… She would go through ten thousand hells if she knew that the reward would be being in the arms of that girl.
There was not a shred of hesitation in her words, she was being extremely honest. She wanted that relationship, she wanted to be with Emily.
- Someday we'll talk about it, right? About what happened to you when you were gone. – The brunette said, as casual as she could.
- It's not a pretty story. – The blonde clinched, frowning.
- But it's your story, and I want to know it. – Emily insisted, and got the girl to look at her again.
- Someday… - Alison conceded and she accepted gladly the soft kiss that the brunette offered her. She didn't want to think about that part of her life and much less at that certain time. – Before… you didn't seem very happy. – She said, changing the subject, and now it was the brunette who looked away. – A bad day?
- Yeah, a disaster… - She sighed and was surprised to find herself smiling a second later. – Until I came here.
Alison smiled back. They both had needed a night like that… a night completely free of inhibitions.
- Will your boss be at the party? – The blonde asked suddenly.
- I guess… - The brunette replied with some reluctance.
- I think you should introduce me to her.
- You think so?
- Yes, I want to know who forces you to arrive later every night. – So Alison had realized it.
It was true, lately Nicolette had been putting her in the group that "pre-cleaned" the saloon at night.
- Ali, remember that I can't lose the job. – She said, trying to keep a straight face.
- Don't worry, with me there the worst that can happen is that you get a raise. – She assured her.
- Wow, you really trust your powers of persuasion.
- Always. – She smirked. – And I hope I never have to use them against you to repeat this night soon.
- I don't think that's gonna be necessary. – The brunette took advantage of her relaxed and clueless position to lay her back on the mattress, laughing at the little cry of surprise she emitted.
- You're worried about it. – Alison said, serious again, not wanting to drop the issue yet. – The party. – She clarified.
- I don't know what to expect from it, honestly. – She supported the weight of her body on her forearms and liked how natural and comfortable was that position for her. – Doesn't it make you nervous?
- Yes, but I decided to not stress myself with it, at least not until Saturday. – She explained.
- I can't get it out of my head.
- Oh, poor you… - Alison stroked the brunette's face until her fingers found the lower lip of the girl, the one she had inflamed. She approached her mouth just to be able to let the tip of her tongue brush the sensitive skin. Emily shuddered between her legs. – Why don't you let me entertain you a little bit? Maybe then you can forget about it and…
The brunette didn't allow her to finish, she took her lips with her own, unable to spend another second without getting lost in her taste.
It was as if they had broken the invisible wall that had been keeping them apart, a wall that now had been reduced to a rubble of broken doubts and destroyed fears.
In one night, they had managed to raise their relationship to the next level, the one in which the trust became the most important adjective.
AN: a fast update! Just because it was already written and almost translated (also, THIS was the real ending of last chapter).
The next chapter will be veeeery long so… I think it's safe to say that I'll need, at least, two weeks to have it properly done :S
Anyway, thanks for the reviews (I have to say that it made me really happy to know that someone from Paris approves my descriptions of the city; and to the guest "H": yeees, the 3 words were very very close), follows, favourites and just for reading!
