Chapter 2: trust and love
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P"li's pov
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13 years! I have been inprisoned for 13 spirits damn it years! I don't know how long i can last do... i'm feeling weak and my head is burning... oo spirits don't tell me i'm gonna get a fever now! I wouldn't survive that! Oooo zaheer were are you... you promised i would be safe from now on...
"He isn't coming for you! You will never see him again..."
A voice in her head told me as i weakly put my head against the backside of the cell, I fell my head was on fire and I was feeling like throwing up... If there would be something in my stomatch to throw up…. Since my belly was completely empty…. It had been empty for 13 long ice cold years now…..
"Food"
One of the guards snapped at her as he throw a bowl of rice my way... but the second guard, who must have seen I didn't threw myself hungrily at the food like normal
walked to me and soon i fell a soft hand on my forehead.
"CALL LORD ZUKO! SHE IS BURNING UP WITH A FEVER!"
I heard him yell soon after he had placed his hand on my forehead, retrieving it just as fast as he had placed it on my forehead. As I watched one of the man run off in a hurry to make that call I fell that the other one wrapped something around my body that fell strangely warm… and that was right before I lost consiousness...
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When i woke up again... the first thing i fell was warmth... a strange feeling for one who has been in a giant freezer for so long... it felt old and yet it felt... good... when i looked up there was a strange woman right next to my beth who was looking at me kindly.
"Hey, i see your finally awake..."
She said as she rubbed something wet and soft over my hot forehead, which was cooling it down... thank the spirits... Do I was wondering who this strange woman was, were she came from all of a sudden….. And most importantly…. How come i felt warm all of a sudden…. Was I….. Death… was this heaven? No…. It all fell to real and besides…. I fell pain in my head… and zaheer had always told me in heaven we wouldn't feel pain anymore…. But that left me with one question:
"Who... who are you..."
I asked weakly... as i looked at her with a shocked look in her eyes. The woman a brunette with kind looking hazel eyes looked at me with a shocked look when she seemed to realize I was fully awake…. Which was a very normal reaction to which I was quite used…. So I didn't got startled by her sudden movement and just calmly looked at her as she recovered and placed the towel on my forehead after making it wet once again.
"Oo, your fully awake already… ... im sorry I thought it would take a while before you would be able to speak... were are my manners... my name is femke...I'm a... "
She started but stopped when she saw i rolled my eyes at her, since i already knew what she was gonna say: she was a white lotus guard and a honored servant of the avatar... bla bla bla... I knew that story... and i wasn't gonna listen to it all over again... i saw femke looked at me with a stunned look before she gave a small smile then made the cloth wet for the thirt time in a row and placed it gently on my forehead again.
" i know what your thinking... but i can asure you i'm not a white lotus... i DID know avatar aang but that lies... diffrent.."
Femke said with a mysterious smile. Just as a young man with flowing white hair that he wear in a long ponytail over his one shoulder and black and grey clothes entered the room and placed a tray containing a bowl of steaming hot soup and some breads and placed them in my lap.
" thats a story for later... now you must recover... your very ill..."
The man said as he handed me the spoon and motioned me to eat, which I did gladly, since I was starving after 13 years of nothing but rice and nothing else….
"This is my husband daniel... he came with me here to help you out as well... and no he isn't white lotus either..."
Femke said as i carefully took my first sip... it was chicken soup... delicious... after 13 yeas of rice only... finally some warmth in my tummy... something that stilth my hunger... i hungrily ate 3 bowls of soup, before femke put a strange stick in my mouth before she wrote something down on a piece of paper...
"I wonder what... spirits what i would give to know how to read and write now..."
I thought as i watched her handwritting with a pondering look. she had a kinda messy handwriting... but i'm sure... if I would know how to read and write... I would be able to decipher her handwritting... if only I could...
"you wanne try and decipher my handwritting... believe me... it isn't as bad as you think it would be... and then you can immidiatly see i'm not writing down anything bad about you..."
femke now said as she shove the papers to me. I looked at them with a pondering look now, trying to make something out of it, but all I saw was a jumble of letters and numbers that I coudn't make soup out at all...
"which is too bad, I just loved that chicken brew she and her husband just made me..."
I thought with a smirk as I still tried to make something out of the letters, but I couldn't... I couldn't read it... And all because I had refused to tell zaheer that I never learned to read and write thanks to diego… because I thought it was embarresing… and it probably indeed was…..
"well... I'm gonna believe you on your word on this one... "
I said as I handed the papers back to her with a small smile. I saw femke and daniel looked at each other with a confused look now, before they both looked at me sadly...
"what... why that?"
femke asked with a worried look as she placed a hand on my arm and looked at me with a sad look. I looked back at them now and gulped, since this was something even my friends didn't know about me... something I had always managed to cover up... namely the fact that I couldn't... I couldn't read and write... no one ever intended to send me to school at age 4... not my parents... and DEFAINTLY not my master... Diego... since he was a monster... So I never learned…. Do it was too bad….. I had loved to know….
"well... thats kinda hard since... I... I don't know how to,.,... you know..."
I said as I looked to the side, refusing to look them in the eye now, since I knew what they were looking like now, they were probably muffling their launchter... and they were right... I was a adult... and I didn't even knew how to read ore write... that was ridiculous...
"what the,... why not... every child goes to school at age 4... right?"
femke asked me now, taking my chin in her hand carefully forcing me to look her in the eye. I looked back at her shocked now... since she wasn't launching... not even a little... she was deathly serious... and her voice sounded so... sad... like she cared about it... why would she care in spirits name! I'm the enemy... this wasn't making sense...
"not everyone... No one I know from my past at last... my parents didn't got the money for it and... they sold me at age 5 to a man,... a monster... he refused because he hated me…. And my friends don't know I can't… I never told them because I thought it was embarressing…. "
I simply said, not wanting to go into the painfull details about my life with Diego... that would become to painfull... no... I best kept that for myself... at least until I was sure she wasn't white lotus and was worth trusting... Like she tried to sound now…
"what a monster... poor girl... you must feel awfull then..."
femke said with a sad face as she looked at me with a sad look. I looked at her shocked now, not expecting such kindness from her... not from someone who knew the avatar... someone who was the enemy...
"even do she seems nice... wait what am I thinking... no... she is the enemy... don't forget that P'li! she is the bad one! "
I told myself firmly as I looked at the woman with a stern face. Femke looked at daniel with a sad look and they said something to each other in a language I couldn't understand before femke carefully shifted me in her lap, wrapped in the warm blanket and started to stroke me over my backside… which caused my whole body to relax, as she took my in her soft arms and started to lul me off to sleep…. And just before I did so….. I got the feeling i finally belonged….. For the first time in my life…. I really belonged somewhere…..because even do she was the enemy…. She showed me a kindness no one had ever showed me before…
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When i woke up again i was allone in my new room. My head wasn't burning as match as before and i fell a lot better so i went to investigate my new surroundings i soon found out that i was in the royal palace of the northern water tribe and that didnt came to me as a good sign... we were still in the northern water tribe... close to were my cell was.. Which was probably a sign….. One step out of line and I was back in my cell….
"and ofcourse….. When i'm recovered… I will return there…"
I thought as I walked to a room were a saw a little bun of light coming from under the door creak. When I reached it, I saw 2 figures…. The figures of femke and daniel, sitting in a small living room talking and defaintly not noting i was standing here…. Good…. That way I could hear what they had to say without them knowing I was listining in to them….. Maybe I could finally find out why they were acting like they cared about me, since I was certain they were playing… they couldn't really care about….. They couldn't… I was just a trick to get me to talk….. No one ever cared about me….. Not like that…..
"Poor child... she's been abused i can feel it... its our human duty to... starving... "
I catched some lines of the conversation she was holding with her husband daniel. I looked at them, knowing they were talking about me…. And it sounded like….. They were pitying me….. Fools…. They didn't knew half of the power I possesed and they just pitied me because I fell a little ill…. Wait until I would be recovered…. Then they would get it… then I would only have to get my friends out and then… it would be bye bye avatar…. Hello new world….
"I only need to play it so that they won't suspect I'm recovered until I am…. Ore they might send me back to hell before I even have the chance to break free..….."
I thought as I peeked around the corner to see what the 2 off them were doing. The man was looking in what I knew was a book, while the woman was….. Well…. I don't know for sure what she was doing, she was moving 2 needles up over under and thew it each with woll spun on it, making a clicking noise as she kept going on and on with it, which also made a piece of cloth grow under her hands for some odd reason.
"I wonder how she does that… its look so…. Weird…."
I thought as I observed her as she went on with whatever she was doing for a while, before she placed it down for a moment and nudged her husband, before motioning to the door for some odd reason. I quickly doged away, but it was already to late, since I heard femke call my name soon after that….. OO boy….
Femke"s POV
I was talking with Daniel about P'li, while knitting a woll shirt for her so she wouldn't have to wear those rags all over again once she was recovered, when I suddenly noticed that we were being watched. I looked at the door and saw a flash of black shoot away from the doorpost, wich was obviously from P'li, so I gave my husband a small prod and pointed to the door with a smile on my face.
"P"li... you can come out now! We have seen you"
I called after her with a smile my face... for a moment... nothing happened... then she walked into the room... looking quit guilty as she walked towards us.
"Have you slept well? "
I asked with a smile as i walked towards her and fell her forehead and cheeck... they fell a lot better already.. she was getting better already... Thank the lord… the poor child was recovering already… I wouldn't forgive myself if she would die from that fever… and all because she refused too talk.
"Yes... thank you... and sorry... i was eavesdropping... i just wanted to know if i could trust you..."
P"li stammed as she looked from daniel to me with a sad look. I now nodded... fully understanding this... before i carefully took her in my lap and rocked her a little as i tried to comb out her messy hairdo now she was awake.. starting with the almost impossible job of getting the hairband they had done in her hair during her days in jail out...
"Thats okay p"li... its fully understandable you wanted to know whetever you can trust us ore not first... especially if we consider what you must have been threw in those 13 years of jail..."
Daniel replied with a smile as i combed out her hair for her. I saw p"li looked at my husband first, then back at me, her eyes full of shock... as if she could 't believe what she was hearing... Like she couldn't believe we just trusted her like that…. And yet it was true… since we were only trying to help her… we weren't the one's that wanted to hurt her… unlike those white lotus people….. We just wanted what was best for the poor girl…. If only she would understand that…
P"li's POV
"Thats okay p"li... its fully understandable you wanted to know whetever you can trust us ore not first... especially if we consider what you must have been threw in those 13 years of jail..."
The girls husband replied when i faked appoligizing for eavesdropping on them since i wasn't, with a incredioulous look. They forgave me just like that? They understood... those were 2 things no one had ever used towards me... yeah my friends but...that was because they have been threw thesame... that strangers... people i never EVER have seen in my entire life... fully understood how i fell... that was something complete new to me... and even do i wouldn't admit it out loud... it DID feel good...
"How come you understand... i mean... isn't it a little….. Odd to trust someone like that… since you don't even fully know me yet…."
I asked a sounding a little accusing, while i looked from femke too daniel, sitting on the ground with my legs folded as I did so, not wanting to give them the feeling that I was looking down on them for some reason, because I wasn't….. I was just trying to get them to talk about what they were planning to do with me….. Once I was fully recovered ofcourse….while the girl was brushing my hair out…. Getting the knits and the hairband I had wore for 13 long years out…. Humming a little as she was doing so, which gave me another odd feeling of peace and love for some odd reason…..
"odd how she keeps giving me these feelings of love, kindness and belonging here….. While I try to hate her and find out what her deal is…."
I thought as I fell femke was brushing my hair out while humming a cute little tune, sounding like she was enjoying her work…. Enoying to look after me and make me feel safe and wanted…. Do I had no idea why….
"not quit…. I know what it feels like to be a criminal if you need to know….. And….. I get the feeling your not as bad as you try to sound…. "
femke replied with a smile on her face. Ì now looked at her with a shocked look….. Not understanding why she was being like this to me…. I mean… yeah helping me recover… but come on…. She was treathing me like a HUMAN BEING right now for spirits sake! This was something NO ONE had ever done for me…. Ever…. This was something totally new to me… and I couldn't ignore the warm feeling in my stomach…. The feeling of belonging….
"what happened then… what did you do….?"
I now asked, trying to sound interested, which wasn't to hard…. Now she had showed me something I had never fell before….. Love…. The feeling I belonged somewhere….. I saw femke smiled at me, before she silently started to comb my hair for a while.
"I was all alone… living on the streets for 16 long years…. Doing whatever I could to survive…. I didn't only had to steal food,…. Also treathen innocent lives to get what I needed to live…. And I somethimes indeed killed someone,….. "
Femke said now as she looked at the hairbrush with a sad look. I looked back at her a little now, for some reason I fell that she was telling the truth… and that it still hurted her a little what she had to do what she had to do to survive….
"thats….. Well… its bad… but you had to do it…. Ore you wouldn't have survived…."
I calmly replied as I pulled foreward a little because she was hurting me, the hairbrush had gotten stuck in a very big knit…. Which was hurting awfully since she was trying to pull the brush out of it….
"i know…. But its still hard to…..you know…. Get over the fact you HAVE been treathening innocent lives….."
femke chuckled as she gently got the hairbrush out of the knit by unknitting the knits with her hands and from what I could feel was she using her hands to wriggle out the rest of knit now as well…
"well….. I have killed people too…. for far worse reasons…. But I learned to live with it as well… a girl gotta do what a girl gotta do…. Especially when your life depends on it…."
I harshly said, remembering the times warlord diego had ordered me to kill innocent people who were not always criminails mostly they were just cevillians who had refused to pay their taxes ore had done something else to offend her lowness the earth queen….. It had been awfull…. But if I had refused he would whip me….. And that was the last thing I wanted back then…. Especially since I was already badly wounded back then….
"really? Why did you…. If I may ask…."
femke asked me all of a sudden, which suprised me…. Except my friends… no one had ever bothered to ask me why I had done something…. Which made me think this woman was one remarkable woman by the minute I talked to her….
"b…. Because I would have been slapped to death if I hadn't…. Thats all I wanne say…"
I said.… not wanting to talk full out about my past yet, still not feeling I could trust her enough to tell her this…. I saw femke looked at me with a shocked look, before she calmly looked to the side….
"I see, well… that man must have been quit the beast… to treath you like that… may I ask…. How old were you when you…. You know… got there…."
femke asked as I turned and looked at her, only to find out that she was CRYING behind my back as she was hugging her knees to her face…. Looking like she was having a touch time hearing what I have been threw…. So unlike how a white lotus member would react IF i had told them this…..
"which i woudn't be able to do without revealing the true purpose of the red lotus, so I won't talk about it….. Not even if they treathend my live…. …."
I thought as I sat down next to the woman and placed a hand on her shoulder, while the male sat down next to me and placed a hand around my backside on her back….
"I was 5….. When I was sold…. I was 14 when zaheer and my other 2 friends came to get me out of there….. I have lived in hell for 9 years…."
I told them quitly as I looked at femke who was still looking so very sad, telling her what zaheer had told me back then…. When I had asked him how long I had been with diego….. I had only been able to tell him I was 5 when I was sold and that I was 14 right now, which I knew because Miss agina…. The mother of that monster diego… had kept track of time…. And had tried to lighten my pain a little during christmas eve… and after diego's wife miss thina divorced from him every once in a while by getting me out of that house to took me to the spa… ore shopping… just so I could relax a bit and forget about diego for a while…. Which always kept me wondering…. How diego could be such a monster…. While his mother was suck a kind and loving woman…. A question i…. Sadly…. Never got a answer on…
"thats horrible….. And the white lotus is just as horrible….. I pressume…."
Femke asked me as she looked up at me with a sad look. I shot her a shocked look, unable to believe she was willingly talking bad about her fellow white lotus members, before I nodded…. Yes… they had been just as bad…. Well…not in the way of whipping me….. They had never hit me….. But they didn't exacly gave me 3 star meals ore warm blankets either…. Which was something diego used to deny me as well….which made them just as bad as diego in my eyes…
Femke's POV
OMG! I had never expected P'li's story to be this... harsh... wow... she must have fell so... awfull... and alone... i can't imagine she has been happy there once... and i have seen a lot in my life... but this was to match... even for me... the poor thing most likely has no idea what it is like to have a family...
"Thats horrible.. and the white lotus... was just as bad... i pressume?"
I now asked... hoping this wasn't the case and she at last had been wel cared for a little bit... but that hope soon proved in vain... as p"li gave me a shocked look... before she shook her head at me sadly...meaning "no" she never had a family... ore a place too call home... truly home...
"The poor thing... i can't see why the white lotus at least tried to feed her well and treath her better... its so obviously visable how badly she has been treated before..."
I thought while i looked at daniel who was looking at her just as shocked as i was... before he gently nodded and moved a little closer to her.. now getting what he was up to.. i too sat a little closer to her... before i carefully... very gently.. closed her in a hug...as i did... i fell she stirred a little uneasy as it must be to get in a group hug all of a sudden... before i fell her grab on to my robes and smiled at her gently as tears stared to roll over her face...
"Thats it... let it all out... you deserve to let it all out..."
I thought to her as i rubbed her over her backside gently to comfort her a little... i could feel her ribs threw the thin fabrick of her clothes... thats how thin she was... i could also see the bones of her cheeck and skeleton... and yet... i saw a kindness in her eyes... even the biggest fool would notice... if they looked well...
"Those white lotus guys are probably all bafoons these days... if they didn't saw it..."
I thought... moving p"li in my lap carefully so daniel and i could both hug her with more ease... just then a few white lotus guards came in... who immidiatly started to launch when they saw i was sitting with my arms around a sobbing p"li just as my husband... all... no... one guard in the back of the group did 't launched... he just looked at us with a stern look... and i got the feeling... this one young boy... wasn't making fun of p"li who was in tears in my lap... he was looking at her almost smiling... like he was caring about her... really caring...
"he might be the only one without poop in his eyes then"
I thought smiling as I kept stroking the sobbing young woman in my arms and tried to tell her she had to try and ignore the insults they were throwing her way, that she should be in jail and die from her fever instead of being here and get treathed like a baby…. Telling her it wasn't true… and that she deserved a nice home and a loving family just as match as everybody else….
"thanks femke.… this is more then I deserve…."
P'li said smiling sadly as she let me gently took her on the arm and back to her room.
"its not….. I know what you have been threw was….. Bad…. And I want you to become happy…. Now thats all over…. Your not unwanted…. Not anymore….I fully trust you… like your my own child….. "
I told her smiling…. And it was the truth…. I knew what it was like to be on the run for the officials…. I knew what it was like to fight for survival…. To have to sleep with one eye open all the time….. And it was crap… so I wasn't letting P'li into the misarable state she was in now….. Not after my adoprive mother gave me a second chance and a place to call home….. I wouldn't allow that to happen…..
"but…. Why… I don't understand why you keep….. Up this way of acting….. You hardly know me…. You know what a monster I am…. How bad I have been….And yet….. You treath me as your own child…"
P'li asked as she looked at me with a curious look while I gently tucked her in and made sure she would be warm enough for the night, but when she asked this…. I looked up at her…. Shocked at the fact that she had such a low self esteem…. For someone who was not too bad looking as herself…. And knowing how powerfull she was… judging from the way everyone seemed to be scared of her….. It shocked me…. As well as it made me wonder why she was thinking so low of heself… was that all only because of that warlord?... Ore was something else playing along that made she had such a low self esteem as well…
"well.…. I got a second chance myself…. I don't see why I would ignore the fact you might need that… and your not a monster…. You just made a bad choice….. Thats all, and I don't want you to think about yourself as that as well… your amazing the way you are….. "
I said with a small smile as I placed a hand on her knee and looked down at her smiling, before I carefully tucked her in and made sure she was well covered up, before I sat down on the side of the beth and stroke her over her hair, which made she smiled at me weakly, but seemingly happy I was there to look after her… most likely giving her the first love and kindness in 13 years… smiling as the poor girl looked at me with big shocked eyes, before she nodded off to sleep…
"that's it…. Rest sweety… regain your strenght.. That's all that matters for now… we'll be here to protect you…. You can always count on us.."
I told her in my thoughts as I gently placed her head down on the pillow then tucked her in warmly, whiel daniel closed the curtains in the room and turned on a small light by the door, so she would be able to find it in case she needed to use the bathroom tonight.
"were in the next room…. If you need us just call… no shame in it.. We will be there if you need us…."
i said as I gently stroke her over her hair, smiling down at the black haired woman that was now smiling a little as she held on to her pillow as she slept. Looking a lot healthier already… I now gently bend forward. Kissing her forehead before I headed out of the room. Feeling P'li might be a lot better already by tommorow. Maybe not in health… but in the way of trust and love… she would be a lot better…
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And wth that I end the second chapter of my story. I sure hope you all enjoyed it, since I did enjoy writing the story.
A/N
The boy that was just looking at P'li without launching at her was the same we have seen in the cell when P'li fell ill. I'm still didn't decided what role he is gonna play. Please let me know what YOU all want him to be…
P'li's backgroundstory has made a huge inpact on her. And it almost seemed logic to me that the warlord didn't allowed her to attent school at age 5, and thinking it was a ebarresing she couldn't read and write she hid it for zaheer and the others, meaning that by the time femke and daniel came to her she indeed had no idea how to read and write.
The white lotus members were (except that one guard) ofcourse all at the side of korra and mocked p'li for accepting some kindness from a woman that seemed to care about her. Do it me it seems to be that its only a natural reaction after being abused for years.. Let me know what you think about it.
That was all for now. Please let me know what you think about it. Thanks for reading and don't forget to
REVIEUW!
