32 Productions Presents…
A HIVE Team StoryThe HIVE Team In…
"Technology Sucks"
Chapter One
HIVE Tower: Roof Top
It was a quiet day. Sun in sky…birds chirping…a pleasant breeze passing by. It was the sort of day that made you glad to be alive…unless you're like me and prefer cloudy days because the sun is bad. The sun burns. It makes the skin all red and peely. Evil, evil, EVIL ball of burning gas… Where was I? Oh yeah. The serene day was, however, broken, when the roof door burst open and Wonder Girl flew out, having been punched by Blackfire. Sliding over the side, she flew back up, her fists clenched.
Wonder Girl: I won't leave without my lasso!
During a previous scuffle, Wonder Girl was defeated and the HIVE took her lasso into the evidence room. Upon escaping from prison, she immediately sought it out. Her black hair, usually held in a ponytail, was a mess as a result of the fight she had gotten in when Mammoth discovered her intrusion. It just went downhill for her from there. The HIVE ran out onto the roof.
Jinx: You're leaving without it, and returning right back to your cell!
Wonder Girl: It would take a sorceress of much greater power then YOU to defeat an Amazon!
In a display of her usual hot headed attitude, Wonder Girl flew toward Jinx, seeking to put her fist through the young witch's stomach. Instead, she slammed into a force field set up by Gizmo. It immediately incased her like a bubble. Pounding on it, she quickly realized that her blows were pointless. It didn't so much as shimmer under her attacks. With a shout of aggravation, Wonder Girl plopped down in a huff, drumming her fingers on her leg impatiently.
Wonder Girl: Well, take me back to jail already. …stupid men…stupid women who put up with men…stupid technology…
Jinx: Red, call the police, tell them we have another package for them. …and somebody start fixing the damn doors.
Sighing in annoyance, Jinx headed back inside. She stopped and turned back around.
Jinx: Meeting in the main room, ten minutes.
The others groaned. Not again…
::CUE THEME::
Hive Tower: Main Room
Jinx paced back and forth in front of her teammates, shaking her head. The HIVE hung their heads like kids caught with their hands in the cookie jar. Jinx paused, looking ready to speak, but shook her head again and started to pace once more. Finally Sonic looked at his watch.
Sonic: Uh…Jinx? Hate to push this forward on you like this, but…can we move it along? We've been here like…fifteen minutes waiting for you to talk.
Jinx: …can somebody explain to me how Wonder Girl broke into the tower, managed to sneak around the halls, and find the evidence room?
Krystal: Well, she came in through the garage that leads to mainland so we can drive the H-car around. Then she…
Jinx: I know HOW she did it! I want to know HOW she was ABLE to do it without setting off all the alarms and stuff!
Red X sighed. Jinx wasn't going to like this…
Red X: Using her bracelets, she was able to properly deflect the trip beams back at each other, avoiding tripping the alarms.
Jinx groaned and rubbed her temples. Was she the ONLY one who saw the problem with that? They all seemed pretty nonchalant about it. Then again, being attacked was rather common place for a superhero. Jinx shook her head.
Jinx: This is unacceptable. This is our home…our sanctuary…
Sonic: Our "Saniturium"!
Jinx: …what?
Sonic: Metalliac reference.
Mammoth: "For whom the bell tolls"?
Sonic: "Enter Sandman".
Gizmo: ENOUGH ALREADY!
Silence.
Mammoth: …I don't remember that song.
Sonic: Yeah, you made that up.
Blackfire: Are you sure the name of the song was "Sanitiurium"?
Sonic: I think so…
Jinx: Would you guys be serious for five seconds?!
More silence. Jinx let out her breath and ran her hand through her hair. Sometimes it felt like she was a babysitter rather then a team leader. Oh well. Sighing, Jinx pointed at Gizmo.
Jinx: Gizmo, I've had enough of this crap. I want you to build me the biggest, most secure security system ever designed.
Gizmo: Uh…
Jinx: I'm talking futuristic, talking house sort of thing.
Mammoth: But doesn't that always wind up going wrong?
Gizmo: Shut up, Mammoth. Smart people talking now.
Groaning, Mammoth hung his head. Krystal patted him on the back.
Krystal: There, there. At least you still have your personality.
Mammoth: What about my looks?
Red X: …like she said. You still have your personality.
Mammoth: What is this, Pick on Mammoth day?
Blackfire pulled out her cell phone and started pressing buttons.
Blackfire: …no…no, that's next Wednesday.
Red X: …hmm…but it IS Cherry Pie Saturday.
Gizmo huffed and crossed his arms.
Gizmo: I hate cherry pie…
Red X: So wait until Apple Pie Monday next month.
That sounded good. Apple pie was gooooooood. Drooling at the thought of pie, Gizmo was surprised when Jinx smacked the back of his head.
Jinx: Gizmo! Make with the security improvements NOW!
Gizmo: Fine! Fine! God!
Grumbling, Gizmo got off his butt and went to work. Sonic raised his hand.
Sonic: So…can we all go now?
Jinx: Yeah, I guess.
Gizmo: Oh, that's bull crap! I got to slave away while they relax!?
Jinx: You built the shoddy system! Now you improve it!
Jinx pointed at the others, her right eye twitching spastically. They gulped, afraid that Jinx was going to do something…unpleasant with her magic.
Jinx: You all! Have fun! GO!
Other: Yes Ma'am!
Everyone ran off to find something to do. Jinx took a deep breath and let it out. Stress was building in her lately. Maybe she had been pushing herself too hard. Those dreams she had been having lately weren't helping. Scowling, Jinx shook her head, not wanting to think about them. There wasn't much to think about really. All she remembered about them was the sensation of flying at fast speeds around the world, then waking up feeling sick and horrified. Obviously something happened in between her flight, but whatever it was, she couldn't recall. No matter. She needed to do something…something relaxing. Snapping her fingers, she walked over to a drawer near the kitchen and pulled out a deck of cards. Jinx had read somewhere that constructing a house of cards was very relaxing. It took time, patience, and a slow, steady hand to accomplish. Opening the pack, she took the cards out, sat on the floor and began to balance the…oops. It fell. She tried again. Damn, it fell. One more time. Son of a bitch, it fell!
Training Room
Red X started at the object in her hands before looking back up at the smirking alien.
Red X: And this is a traditional form of fun on your planet?
Blackfire twirled the staff that she held around in a fancy fashion. It was an impressive sight, watching her move it around her body without whacking herself once.
Blackfire: Like your baseball or football.
Red X: Which
one?
Blackfire: Huh?
Red X: Which football?
Raising her eyebrow, Blackfire scratched her head with her free hand, leaning on the staff.
Blackfire: Uh…professional?
Red X: In Europe "football" is the name of the sport we call "soccer" in America.
Blackfire: …oh…why?
Red X: I don't know. The same reason America won't convert to the Metric system, I guess. It's not important.
Blackfire: If you say so. Anyway…
Blackfire gestured around them. A circle had been drawn around them with chalk.
Blackfire: The rules of the game are simple. We battle each other with our staffs until one of several things happen. A. Someone falls down. B. Somebody is pushed out of the circle. C. Someone gives up. Understand?
Red X: Of course…but I have one question. Aren't I at a severe disadvantage, given that I lack your muscle power?
Smirking, Blackfire shook her head.
Blackfire: Nah, nah. My strength isn't always on. I turn it on and off like a switch with my emotions. I can be as strong as a normal human or strong enough to bend steel.
Red X: Then I accept your challenge!
Red X leapt forward, striking her staff against Blackfire's as she raised it to defend herself.
Blackfire: Aggressive start, but not well thought out.
Blackfire tried to sweep her legs out from under her, but Red X saw it coming and leapt, swinging her staff again. Smiling now, Blackfire managed to block the strike just barely and the fight continued.
Blackfire: Fantastic! You're really good at this.
Red X: Thanks. I've trained a little with a bo-staff.
Blackfire: A little, huh? Well, let me show you a few tricks.
Blackfire moved suddenly, jamming her staff downward and sweeping Red X off her feet. Red X caught herself with her hand and shoving herself back up. Smirking, Blackfire waved her finger.
Blackfire: Rule number two, Red.
Looking down, Red X realized she had stepped out of the circle. She looked back up.
Red X: …best two out of three?
Blackfire: I could do this all day. Why not?
And they started again.
Hallway
Krystal giggled to herself as she set the camera on her light-created tripod. She turned it on and cleared her throat.
Krystal: Hi, I'm Krystal and I'm here to show you one of the most horrible, most mind numbing sights in the existence of time and space. For countless years, people have spotted it. Some call it a yeti. Others, Big Foot. Yet none have ever found documented proof of its existence…until now. Oh yes, I, Krystal no last name given, have the proof to make even the most skeptical person say, "Hmm. Yep, that's a something alright." Ladies and gentlemen…children of all ages…I give you…
Krystal slammed her palm on the button, opening the door behind her and stepped out of the way. The camera was given a clear view of, as promised, a horrible sight. Mammoth, shaving…his arms…and his chest…
Krystal: …BIG FOOT!
Mammoth: KRYSTAL, WHAT THE HELL!?
Krystal: Uh oh! I think we've been spotted!
Grabbing the camera, Krystal took off running, giggling all the while. Jinx said to have fun…this was how Krystal had fun. It was all harmless, really. Krystal had no intention of KEEPING such vile footage. All she really wanted to do was play tag…but as a teenager, Krystal was a little too old for such a game. So, in order to play, she needed to make up her own rules. In this game, she lost if Mammoth grabbed her and stole the camera. If she could successfully hide from him until the alarm went off or the day ended, she would win.
Mammoth: Get back here, Krystal!
Krystal: Klepto verata necto!
It was a typical response, one she used often. She heard it in a movie once though the guy seemed to have trouble with that last word ("Army of Darkness" and if you didn't know that, then shame on you. It's a cult classic). To her, it basically was the same as saying, "go screw a camel", but much nicer. …well, actually any animal would suffice, not just a camel. Krystal could hear Mammoth's heavy footsteps behind her and she grinned wider.
Krystal: Can't catch me!
In a flash of light, Krystal was gone. Mammoth swore and hung his head. He felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Krystal standing there.
Krystal: Lose something?
He tried to grab her but she disappeared again.
Krystal: Can't catch me!
Stomping his foot in annoyance, Mammoth growled.
Mammoth: C'mon, Krystal! Don't play this stupid game!
Krystal: Aw, c'mon.
Once again, she was behind him. He spun around quickly and tried to grab her.
Krystal: I just want to…can't catch me! …have a little fun like Jinx said.
As usual, upon her cry of "can't catch me" she teleported away. However, after all this time, even with his usually dull learning curve, Mammoth had figured something out about her. Shrugging he walked away. Krystal stared in disbelief. Shaking it off, she decided to try something else. She quickly set the camera back up.
Krystal: An emergency has arisen! The world's pants supply is critically low! Fortunately, a brave soul has decided to donate.
She ran up behind Mammoth and yanked his pants down, revealing his stripped boxers. Shaking it off, Mammoth pulled his pants up and continued back to the bathroom to finish shaving. Krystal's jaw dropped. She grabbed the camera and ran back over.
Krystal: Hey! Hey, you can't just ignore me! I'm humiliating you on a grand scale! Pay attention to me!
Still, Mammoth ignored her. Her lip trembled and she stamped her feet like a two year old.
Krystal: Pay attention! I needs attention! G…getting…weaker…
Slowly, Krystal slumped into a fetal position, whimpering. Mammoth wasn't sure what to make of it. Did she really NEED attention? It would explain a lot of her behavior.
Krystal: J…just…s…say…
No…no, he wasn't going to fall for it. He kept going. Krystal sprang back up, glowing.
Krystal: Fine! Fine then!
She threw the camera at him.
Krystal: Take it! I don't care! I'll go play with somebody else! And I'll have loads and loads of fun and you will just die a little inside!
Krystal stomped off in a huff. She was so pissed. All she wanted to do was play a game and he went and ignored her like that. Even her "I need attention or I die" routine didn't help. Sighing, she trudged through the hall. Who should she bother…er…uh…play with now? Ah, the eternal struggle.
Sonic's Room
Sonic sighed. If anyone knew about this… Well, they'd probably laugh him out of the tower. It wasn't his fault, mind you. When you're like Sonic, you need to do that sort of thing. And it was perfectly healthy, you know.
Tape Recording: Now, bend your foot behind your head…until the back of your heel touches the back of your head.
What? It's yoga. He has to stay limber to be as agile as he is. …what did you THINK I meant? Suddenly SOMETHING went CRACK. Sonic's eyes widened for a moment before he sighed and turned on his CD player. He was going to need to absorb a lot of sound waves to heal what he had just done.
Sonic: Third time this month…dear GOD, am I getting old already?
No, that can't be! Milk…he just needs to drink more milk. Calcium and what not…yeah…that's it.
Main Room
Jinx bit her lip. It was beautiful. After hours of work, she had finally…FINALLY constructed the most perfect house of cards EVER! Well, she was assuming, since she had never seen one before, but it was still a really nice house of cards. Now all she needed to do was take a picture. Yes…a picture to capture the memory of this achievement. Slowly, as if in a slow motion…hence the word "slowly", Jinx raised the camera that she was, conveniently enough, carrying at the time to her eye. She had just about taken the picture when Krystal ran in, jumped up, and landed on the couch. The wind from her impact hit the house of cards and down it went. Jinx's jaw dropped as Krystal started to pick up the cards.
Krystal: Wow, you're slow. You're the worst 52 pick up player I've ever seen.
Jinx's eye began to twitch. Krystal tilted her head slightly.
Krystal: Hey, are you okay? Your eye is going all twitchy again.
Jinx: Get…out…
Staring at her for a moment, Krystal suddenly burst out laughing.
Krystal: That's the best impression of the house from "The Amityville Horror" I've ever heard! Do it again!
Jinx: GET OUT!
Krystal: That's amazing!
Jinx: Krystal, I'm serious! Get out! I had worked HOURS on that house of cards and you ruined it before I could get a picture!
Krystal: Oh…I'm sorry. I'll fix it.
Krystal held out her hands and rays of light grabbed all the cards. In seconds, a house even better then Jinx's was constructed. Staring in astonishment, Jinx was speechless as Krystal dusted off her hands.
Krystal: Sorry if it isn't exactly like yours. I didn't get a good look. Okay, you can take the picture now.
Her eye twitching faster now, Jinx glared at Krystal. What had taken Jinx hours had taken Krystal seconds. Granted, she could probably have cast a spell to do something similar, but right now she wasn't thinking of that. All she was thinking about was how she had spent HOURS making a house of cards, watched it get ruined, then a new, better one built in less then two minutes.
Jinx: Krystal…get out of my sight!
Krystal: …tsk. You know something, Jinx? You're wound up tighter then a rubber band on a toy prop plane. You don't relax soon, you're going to snap.
Jinx: Would you leave?!
Sighing, Krystal left. She had had enough. There was only one thing to do in this instance…when she had pissed two people off and didn't want to risk anymore. When something like that happened, there was only one thing to do. …well, two things, but she didn't feel like sleeping right now. Now it was time…time…to…WHITTLE! Maybe she'd carve something nice for Jinx. The slow kind, not the instant whittle she could do with her powers. Hmm…what would Jinx like? Maybe…a half cheese wedge, half wolverine creature! Brilliant! It was perfect! …wait…what kind of cheese should it be? She walked toward her room, pondering.
Training Room
Red X panted. She had fancied herself a good fighter, but she had no idea what Blackfire was capable of with a staff in her hands. Finally she held up her hands, dropping the staff.
Red X: I surrender. I'm done.
Blackfire: Why so down?
Rolling her eyes, Red X quickly remembered that, due to her mask, nobody could SEE her roll her eyes. So saying, she shrugged instead.
Red X: I sucked, that's why.
Blackfire: Ah…no, no. You did fine. Like I said though, you put too much effort into it. It was just a game.
That didn't help…how badly would she have lost if Blackfire was serious?
Blackfire: So…what do you want to do now?
Red X: I don't know…I think I'm going to call Kn…
Blackfire: N…?
Red X: Nobody. Yeah, I'm going to call nobody.
Blackfire: Why would you tell me that?
Panic set in. Fighting a monster, Red X could handle, but talking about her social life was another story.
Red X: I don't have to tell you anything!
She hit the stealth button on her belt and ran. Blackfire watched the door open and close, shrugging. Picking up the other staff, she went back to her room to put them away.
END PART ONE
