So, we shall continue Ava's story and all her feelings and stuff.. and her history, and why she is the way she is.
Sooo do youuu guuuuyssss knooooowww whhaaaatttt thaaaaaaaat meeeaaaaaaaanssssssssssssss~?
SHIT IS ABOUT TO GO DOWN.
SO BUKLE YOUR SEAT BELTS, READY YOUR FEELS - BECAUSE HERE WE GO!
I've been alone in the room for a few hours, I started thinking about my life and stuff, and also noticing that stupid cat poster on the wall.
I hate that poster.
It has a little tiny kitty cat on it hanging from the branch saying; "Hang in there!"
That is so stupid.
"Hang in there"
I looked away from the poster, and towards the ceiling, which had a little light hanging from it.
How long am I supposed to be in here anyway?
Forever?
That's a really long time to be alone.
I sit up from my spot on my bed, going to the edge and hanging upside down from it.
My red curls touch the floor, as I sigh and close my eyes, flashing back to all my earlier foster homes..
I remember my first one, it was with an old lady who wouldn't let me read anything except the bible, and would beat me a lot, my social worker noticed the bruises when I went to see her, she quickly took me away from that place.
The second one is my favorite home.. it's like I dream when I remember it..
Their names were Bob and Cassandra.. they were nice and good to me, they even let me have my own room and gave me a teddy bear...
I remember the day they gave me up though, I woke up and ran down stairs, excited to greet them.. but.. they weren't anywhere in the house, I heard the engine of their old van start, as they left alone.. it was a dream turned into a horrible and sad nightmare.. I remember the blue van packed with stuff, and their beds on top of it riding away, leaving a trail of dust behind, as I clutched my teddy bear, my eyes tearing up, as I was left all sad and alone, standing in front of their white house as they rode away.. I wanted to chase them, call them back- and promise that whatever I did wrong I would never do it again!
But I didn't. I couldn't.
I was frozen.
Hurt and confused, wondering what I did wrong.
That was the day I realized, no one wanted me.
And that I couldn't trust anyone.
After that, my foster homes got all blurry, until Joe and his mom.
They were nasty, Joe was fat and tall, had a beer gut and always wore wife beaters, his mother was fat also, she had a mean face and a piggy nose and wore small glasses that connected to a chain around her neck, and she always wore the same dress, light blue with colored flowers.
They would always get drunk a lot, and then come home and beat me, but they put the bruises in unnoticeable places,so the social worker never believed me, said "I was making it up" or "putting this upon myself" and other lame ass crap like that, and that was because Joe and his stupid smelly mother always acted so nice, when in reality I was being locked up in the basement for not being good again.
Let me tell you how I got out of that hell.
So, I was locked up in the basement again, because I had to use the bathroom after bed time. I look up as I hear Joe and his mother argue about which bar to go to, and then I hear the door slam, shaking the ground above me slightly. I listened for a moment or two, straining my ears for any noise as I get up from the floor, I bit my lip, walking towards the stairs, and step on a step, my heart beating in my chest, I listen again, and take another, and another as I reach the top of the stairs, ya see, I had figured out the first time when they locked me in there how to escape using my powers.
One tendril slides underneath the door, hearing the lock give a little click as it unlocks, then I go to the living room, turn on the T.V and then go to the fridge for some real food instead of the oatmeal they feed me (and I still hate oatmeal to this day, it's nasty stuff.) I get myself two slices of pepperoni pizza, sit on the nice white clean sofa and watch T.V all day.
I didn't listen to their footsteps.
I didn't hear them at the door.
When I realized that they were back, it was too late, they staggered over to me, yelling at me as Joe's mom grabbed my hair, I couldn't hear anything, I was too scared. I remember a tendril coming out, trying to protect me.. but it couldn't, I was too small, too weak to protect myself, as I feel them beat me and beat me and beat me, my thoughts running through my head, asking why did I deserve this? What did I do? Why am I so bad?
I screamed for help, and they were too drunk to shut me up, I remember tears streaming down my face, wondering why no one would help me.. and then.. my voice died out, my vision got blurry as I blacked out.
I woke up in the hospital, seeing the two smiling faces of Derek and Sarah Dietl smiling in front of me.
They were my last foster home before I ended up here, tears slide down my face and forehead, landing in my hair.
The pain hurts so much, emotions feel like they are flying, consuming me into nothing but darkness.
I sit up, wipe my tears away and lay back down.
I stare at the ceiling light, until it's "lights out"
I sigh in the darkness, wondering how I can escape this place.
If I escape, I will live in the forest, and build myself a house and kill anyone who finds me.
That's what I'd rather do for the rest of the days I have, the prophecy is a little late, but it still came true.
The Druid said I would turn into a monster because of my mother, but that was supposed to be on my tenth birthday, I'm already twelve going on thirteen, and for a twelve year old I've gone through a lot of shit...
And I can't sleep, and I don't want to.
I'm scared of sleeping.
So, I get off the bed and walk around the room, remembering the lullaby my mom used to sing.. and I start sing it..
"Little child dark and wild,
shush, shush.
Let me tell you about the stars.. and the moon..
Cuimsíonn an ghealach na réaltaí, mar a suíonn sí a cries, ag canadh suantraí cailleadh chuig na cinn ag fulaingt ..
go bhfuil sí an mháthair uaigneach chun na réaltaí sa spéir
The moon embraces the stars, as she sits and cries, singing lost lullabies to the ones who suffer..
she is the lonely mother to the stars in the sky
shush, shush lonely child,
shush, shush lonely mother.
Ar feadh na domhan seo dorcha, le haghaidh an saol seo fiáin,
agus tá sé fós aon ní mar an gcéanna
for this world is dark, for this is a wild world,
and nothing remains the same.
Shush, shush lonely mother,
shush, shush lonely child,
let the moon in the sky sing her lullaby..
Dóibh siúd a ag fulaingt
for those who suffer."
I smile, get back on my bed and hum it over and over, and I feel my eyes close, gently humming it until I fall asleep.
I am in the dark again, but there is light, little tiny dots of light, and one big round one.. I realize that it is the night sky..
I see a woman, sitting on the moon, crying, her tears blossoming into Night Gladiolus flowers.. I float closer and step on the moon, my bare feet touching the cold white surface, as my red hair floats around me gently.. I walk toward her, the moon blooming and being covered with beautiful flowers..
She looks up, her black hair tinted with stars moving, her moon yellow dress billowing in an imaginary wind, she stands up, her pale hands still covering her face as her tears run down her washed-out face, hitting the ground and blooming into more and more flowers.. I stop, but then take another step, until I am in front of her, my hands go up, and move her palms from her face..
"Shush lonely child,
shush lonely mother.."
I sing, holding the notes like my mother used to, my voice is strong and deep, but calm and relaxing..
Tears run down her face, her violet blue eyes are full of sadness, pain and suffering..
"Ar feadh na domhan seo dorcha, le haghaidh an saol seo fiáin,
agus tá sé fós aon ní mar an gcéanna.."
She smiles, the last of her tears running down her cheeks.. she takes her hands into mine..
She takes a deep breath, "Ná a thabhairt suas." she whispers, as she smiles again, tears running down her cheeks, this time blooming into Moon Flowers,
"Ná a thabhairt suas." she whispers again, her voice reminds me of the moon shining upon the water, lonely and yet content with its loneliness.
"Ná a thabhairt suas." then, I finally start to cry, my tears land in the spaces between the flowers, as they bloom into Night Bloom Water Lilies, stems twisting upwards, caressing my legs.. no one, has ever told me that.. no one. We both cry, our tears blooming into flowers, covering the moon.
My tears are bloody, but she doesn't care- she can see the joy in them to, I smile the happiness in my heart is so big and strong.. and those words make me feel less alone.. and make me feel like I'm actually worth something..
They make me feel strong.
Because no one had ever realized how much I've been fighting.. how much I've been hurt- those words, make me feel like a warrior..
Then, the world fades.. the beautiful flowers start to die, and tears run down her cheeks as the ground crumbles beneath us, then we are left standing on one patch of the moon, she kisses my forehead, and strokes my hair like my mother used to as she whispers those magical words again-
"Ná a thabhairt suas." Then the ground crumbles beneath her, as she fades into the night sky.. I fall to my knees, tears running down my cheeks.. and even though she is gone into the night I still feel her words..
She told me don't give up.
I won't give up.
Then, the ground crumbles, the stars go away and I am back in the maze, faced with the monster...
Then..then...
I wake up.
The same thing as yesterday happens, alarm stops, room moves wall opens, but this time, I don't want to go, but the wall moves behind me, pushing me towards the room, all the other monsters are there, chatting about something.
I walk towards my table, pick at my food and sigh, I notice a red dot against them, and realize that I'm crying.. I don't make a sound, but Susan notices anyway and picks me up in her hands, strokes my hair gently and puts me on her shoulder.. and hey, I'm sad and lonely.. I don't care if they see me cry, I don't give a damn!
Dr. Cockroach crawls up Susan, sitting next to me on her shoulder, awkwardly patting mine, trying to cheer me up.
The room is silent, as I whisper to myself; "Ná a thabhairt suas."
"Why are you crying Ava?" Susan whispers, "Are we scary?" I shake my head
"No, no your not, I'm just sad is all."
Susan sits down, everyone's looking at me with sad eyes, "About what, sweetie?" and it's that sweet voice, that sweet tender kind voice that makes me break and cry hardcore and I mean hardcore, my shoulders start shaking and I tell her; "About life... about everything.." she pets my head again, her blue eyes shining and a sad smile on her face, as Link and B.O.B crawl up the other shoulder, I want to crack, I want to tell her about everything I've been through.
We sit in silence, I take a shaky breath and whisper again; "Ná a thabhairt suas." as tears run down my cheeks, the monsters must think I'm weird now, but I don't care.. I can't help but cry.. because I've been so strong for so long.. and Susan, trying to cheer up the mood asks-
"What's that mean?"
I look up turning my head towards her, "It means don't give up in Celtic.. or Irish.. whatever ya wanna call it."
Susan smiles, "I like that." she whispers.
Everyone agrees.
Is this what it's like? To actually have someone to be there for you while you cry? So you don't have to feel so alone, so you don't have to feel these tidal waves of emotions consuming you? This feeling.. is so nice..
Susan keeps petting my head, asking me;
"What was your life like before here?"
"Horrible."
"Oh."
Then she asks;
"Is that why you were crying?"
"One of the reasons."
Then the Doc asks;
"Do you know you cry tears of blood, dear?"
I chuckle, "Yes, it's what happens when your a demon... or half of one at least."
He nodded, "Can I run some tests?"
I shake my head no, as he pouts.
The general person comes in,
"You have a mission."
We all go to a meeting room, I block him out as he talks..
then, Susan gets up, we go to a giant helicopter and board it, buckling up in our seats.
"SET SAIL TO FIJI! HOT BABES HERE I COME!" Link yells, cheering and flexing his "muscles" as I strap in my seatbelt.
Oh, so that's where we're going.
Isn't that the place Sinbad wanted to go in that DreamWorks movie?
I feel the helicopter take off..
Well, Fiji, here I come.
THIS CHAPTER TOOK ME FOREVER.
My ring finger hurts (T^T) but, I think I did an amazing job! SO I hope you enjoy this chapter my loves! And please, review? *puppy eyes* please?
Does anyone know any good Beta readers who like poetry? XD but seriously, I need one, but I'm not good at working with others so..yeah.
SO the Fiji thing was inspired by Sinbad, I couldn't think of any other place, so wish me luck on that chapter guys XD Anyway, bye~
