"If you don't shut the hell up and kiss me, I swear-" Jason is literally three seconds from throwing something at the boy sitting in front of him on the couch. The black haired boy gives him a cheeky smile and Jason suddenly hates Percy Jackson just a little bit more. And his stupidly cute stormy sea green eyes.

They're sitting face to face on the ugly blue couch—at least in Jason's opinion, in Percy's sad excuse for a living room. Jason and Nico constantly sit on the couch for hours trying to decipher what the stains were and where they came from. They sit criss cross applesauce, Percy and Jason have been spending way too much time with Percy's family. No matter how cute his little sister is. Their knees knock against each others as they talk between bites of the Mac & Cheese they have leftovers from their most recent visit to the Jackson / Blofis household.

"Why?" Percy whines for the fifteenth time in the last hour, Jason mentally tallies in his head. Percy Jackson, the great Percy Jackson who had been idolized by many people—mostly Nico—for many years, is very needy. Annoyingly so. They've only been fake dating for three days and Jason's already ready to dump him for being clingy and needy. They spent the night before announcing their relationship to Sally, Paul, and a very confused little Janie, "I don't know what gay is but I'm happy if Jay keeps coming over."

They both agreed it'll be more believable if everyone thinks that they're in a relationship. And Percy is damn sure using this relationship as an excuse for being needy, but really between lack of social interactions from taking a gap year from college due to mental issues and work he's just really misses spending time with his best friend. He'll be damned if he doesn't take up all of his love and attention.

"Because," Jason emphasises sounding like a preteen girl arguing with her father about going out with friends, "Thalia's no bullshit detector would go off in a minute if I'm not being affectionate enough."

Percy rolls his eyes, knowing how the concept works even though he was a proud only child for eighty percent of his life, "Can't you, I don't know be a normal person and claim you don't want to make out with someone in front of your sister."

"Think Perce," Jason slams his palm against the older boy's forehead before abruptly taking it back to observe the damage, "Thalia had to experience the whole me and Piper thing." He chuckles seeing the red hand shaped mark partially hidden by the boy's messy black hair, he didn't mean to hit him that hard but it's not like Percy didn't deserve it.

The green-eyed boy sticks his tongue out and glares, he's too tired to retaliate with mutual hitting. His eyes widen in a sudden remembrance.

"Oh shit, I remember when you were straight." Percy responds with a smirk, thinking back to not so innocent memories of the seemingly innocent girl Jason had been with for years. Jason cringes, he's one hundred percent sure this is the same concept as if someone had mentioned something from middle school. Because really no one ever talks about Middle School.

"Really," Jason says with a laugh, "Cause I don't."

"Come on you can't not be straight and do half the shit you did with Pipes." He says, "heh, pipes, if that's not ironic I don't know what is."

He and Jason have done a lot of talking in the past three days when they officially started dating. Percy already knew about how vocal Piper could be from the year Jason and Percy decided to share an apartment. But apparently Jason is just as bad.

Before he could make another bad pun, Jason leans forward and presses his lips against Percy's chapped ones.

Mental note, buy Jackson some chapstick. Jason thinks to himself as he wraps his arms around his shoulders. Percy sits frozen, not expecting to have been harassed—Jason can hear him complaining about it later, ranting about how Percy doesn't just randomly sexually assault him. The thoughts clear his mind as he gradually starts to respond.

He kisses back softly and drags his hands through blond hair. He tugs softly, Jason fucking knew he'd be using this against him one day. Weeks ago Percy had learned that hair pulling is one of Jason's kinks from an interesting game of drink-to-forget as Leo Valdez likes to calls it. Also note to self, don't think about Leo Valdez while kissing anyone, Jason mentally cringes.

Percy lightly nibbles on Jason's bottom lip, a small smirk forming on his face. Years of knowing Percy means that can't mean anything good, so Jason opens his mouth to give Percy more access, just to quickly pull away.

Somehow without either of them noticing Jason had ended up sitting in Percy's lap. The blonde boy lays his head on the older ones shoulder pressing his nose into his neck. Jason whispers softly, still trying to catch his breath, "You think that'll be convincing enough."

That was the second official time Percy thought that their fake relationship might backfire in more ways than one.

PERCY JACKSON WANTS TO COMMIT SUICIDE.

He'd traveled through the depths of hell, quite metaphorically speaking, but upon meeting his boyfriend's sister in a whole new light, he is scarily close to throwing himself out of a window. Thalia Grace isn't tall or scary looking but receiving a heated gaze from the girl felt like Zeus was winding up his arm to hit Percy with a lighting bolt. Jason nervously smiles from beside him and squeezes his shoulder reassuringly. They spent the whole weekend sitting in Percy's apartment to finish out all the nitty gritty details of their relationship, before they'd finally discuss it out with Thalia. It's officially their weekiversary, Jason almost punched Percy for mentioning it like it was actually some sort of holiday.

They had decided to go with a safe approach and weave as close to the truth as they could without pulling too many seams. Over the years Jason had learned that Percy was an exceptional liar, but Jason isn't. Especially when it comes to Thalia Grace. It's like she has a sixth sense that can detect when someone isn't telling the truth. Throughout his childhood he'd gotten in trouble for a lot more things he should've just because of his mother and Thalia's sixth sense.

"So," Thalia says giving Percy a belittling glance, he shrinks slightly, through Jason's stories he had learned that Reyna was the scarier of the two, at this point he'd rather run around naked painted blue then meet her. "How'd you guys start dating, cause last I knew you were madly in love with Annabeth."

Percy inwardly cringes at her name, Yeah ok, sure he thinks about her a lot but no one ever directly mentions her to him. Jason gives Thalia a harsh glare, she knew the Annabeth situation was off-limits but she has to make sure there's only the best for her brother. Percy Jackson is not the best, Percy Jackson is a douchebag eighty percent of the time, but Jason isn't going to let her find out.

Jason starts to speak only for the girl to quickly cut him off, "I wasn't talking to you, so shut up. I want to hear it from him." She shifts her gaze back to Percy who forces a smile before spewing out what they spent hours rehearsing.

"It was actually because of her," He says softly, giving Jason a what would seem loving smile but looking into his eyes Jason knew Percy wanted nothing more than to punch him in the throat. "A few days after that happened, Jason came over to check up on me, because I was completely avoiding the outside world at all costs."

Which was partially true, it wasn't a few days after, it was weeks. As soon as it happened Percy had been out searching for her relentlessly. Until one day he'd just given up, no one really knows why. He won't talk about even to Nico. He locked himself into his apartment and just did nothing. He was a hollow shell of himself. The night Jason came, he held Percy in his arms and he cried for hours, he cried until he fell asleep. When he woke up he cried again, Jason stayed the whole time. Finally leaving a week later after Percy was on a semi-decent sleep and eating schedule. He didn't let Jason leave until he promised he wouldn't tell anyone about what happened that week.

"I was kind of a mess, and Jay came and knocked some sense into me." Percy says smiling like he's thinking back to a fond memory, "he was the only one I'd talk to for a long while. I guess I just slowly just started to fall for him throughout it. I was so fucking nervous. I thought he was going to hate me, I don't know. I now understand I was being completely irrational and Jase felt the same way."

"So he's your rebound, gods help me Perseus Jackson if you hurt my brother I swear-"

Jason rolls his eyes and Percy quickly jumps to defend himself, he waves his arms maniacally, "No, no, no. Not at all!" A habit he'd picked up from his Italian friend who makes way more hand gestures than he thinks he does. "I genuinely care about him, it's not at all about her. Nothing to do with it."

"If it's not about that, then why can't you even say her name?" Thalia accuses him, placing her hands on her hips. Her face contorts into a harsh glare.

Jason silently giggled as Percy makes a face much resembling a little kid being accused of something they obviously did. "I can say her name."

Thalia raises her eyebrow as if saying 'Well I'm waiting.'

"Annabeth is gone and there's nothing I can do to change that. I've moved on, I'm with Jason now." He says and silently hates himself for it, his voice cracked in awkward places and his heart swelled in his chest and dropped to his stomach just saying out loud. He's going to be spending a good amount of time crying about that later on tonight, with or without Jason there to comfort him.

"Good. Now that the boring parts over, let's go get some lunch." Thalia smiles content, and Jason reassuringly wraps his arm around Percy's shoulder.

"SO HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN DATING?"

Leo Valdez, of all people, happened to show up at the diner they chose to eat at. There was no way it could be a coincidence and judging from the almost smile on Thalia's face she had most definitely set it up. Thalia knew if she didn't know about a relationship, Leo also didn't know about that relationship. Leo had been selling Jason out for months, for cute souvenirs that Thalia was going to get him anyways but for her benefit she's not gonna let him know that.

Percy and Jason, mostly Jason, decided that they weren't going to Leo until it was absolutely necessary. It's not that Leo won't accept the fact that they are dating, it's just Leo's well Leo. Leo is loud and brash and greatly offended when he's kept out of the loop, even if it's as small as being the second friend to find out instead of the first.

"Two months." Jason answers, with enough conscious to actually look guilty. Percy on the other hand is looking like the smug bastard he most certainly is. Leo and Percy argue about everything and this most definitely will be one of these things.

"Two months Jason Alexander Grace," Leo yells, attracting the attention of most of the cute little diner Jason has a feeling they won't ever be allowed to come back to again, "I am your best fucking friend and you didn't even tell me."

"My middle name isn't Alexander." Jason responds purposefully avoiding every other part of what he said.

"Well damn," he shifts his fiery gaze to Percy who is now quietly laughing behind his and Jason's intertwined hands, "Did you know that boyfriend?"

"Yeah, Leo." Percy says with a smirk, "I did now that because I'm obviously the superior best friend." That's Leo and Percy's normal terms of argument, who's the better friend and why until Jason shuts them up by saying he loves them equally which they both roll their eyes at them go to arguing about something else.

"You can't be boyfriend and best friend!" Leo shouts and pushing his finger into Percy's chest. "It doesn't work like that ok."

"Uh, yeah it totally does," Percy glares and slaps his hand away, "And you wonder why you're single."

The Grace siblings share a mutual look of self loathing listening to the two boys arguing but Jase felt a little smug knowing Thalia's plan dramatically backfired. Jason pinches the back of Percy's hand to signal him to shut up. Percy gives him an 'oh really' look and almost continues his spiel but Jason cuts him off by giving him a chaste kiss on the lips. More the type of kiss you give your grandma than one Jason would give his actual boyfriend. But giving Percy one of those would only set Leo on another rampage.

He leans over and whispers in his ear so Thalia and Leo don't hear. "Now be a good boy and I'll buy you all the sour blue candy your heart can take." Percy reluctantly nods and just settles on silently glaring at Leo and making obscene gestures.

"You know," Leo starts with a glint in his eyes and Jason already knows it's going to be bad, "If you were choosing to hook up with one of your friends you could've chose me. We'd be a hot couple."

Jason rolls his eyes, "If I wanted to date someone who smelled like rust and oil and potentially could catch me on fire at any given second, I'd date your dad." Point Jason 1, Leo 13. It's pathetic but hey, it's progress nonetheless.

"I mean, Festus really is a solid DILF." Percy nods in agreement, Leo glares and quickly changes the subject. Not wanting to hear about how his friends would rather date his dad instead of him.

"So Thal, how's Reyna?" Leo asks, Thalia and Leo aren't in anyway as close as Leo and Jason are but that doesn't mean he can't carry about his best friends family.

"Don't talk about it." Thalia glares, and Percy snickers, oh yeah, totally the better friend. He listened to Jason rant about how his sister and Reyna broke up so she thought it would be a good idea to move back in with him.

"Sorry that's obviously a touchy subject," Leo grins wickedly, good to know that Leo Valdez is actually just a public menace and it's not just an unspoken hatred for Percy Jackson. Jason smiles sitting in the booth of low lit corner of the small cafe in New York with three of the most important people in life feeling more than a little content. A small part of himself subconsciously forgets that holding Percy's hand in his own rubbing shapes against his skin is only supposed to be apart of an act.

"Oh, Jase, I forgot to tell you. Dad and Hera are visiting next week." His perfect mood vanished just like that, leave it to Thalia to ruin the mood. If Thalia's good at detecting bullshit their dad is like a fucking lie detector. He nervously glances over at Percy who has two straws hanging out of his mouth making dumb walrus noises with Leo. Though he's cute, he's a total idiot. Yup, Jason Grace is thoroughly screwed.