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It was about odds, or like he thought about it, possibilities. For Spock universe wasn't made of constants, of facts, or even of matter, it was sustained by moving field of possibilities. It was because of his Vulcan heritage, but he couldn't really relate how humans saw things, even if he was forced to admit that he is half human, but he would never say it like that, he would always say he is half Vulcan. Humans, and he always referred them as they because he didn't feel like a part of that designation, liked to saw the world like yes and no, like win and lose, like do this but don't do that. Vulcans had a way of determining what to do and what don't, but it was always based on probabilities, not beliefs, and certainly not feelings. Humans liked to do both.

That's why for Spock there wasn't anything that was impossible, or that could never happen. Everything had conditions in which it could come to be. That's why he calculated possibilities with precision and care. If he couldn't accurately account for one or more variables his answer would be unknown until he got enough data to calculate. His Vulcan training gave him proper tools to calculate with precision. He was very proud of that, if he would let himself to feel pride, it was a feeling, and he wouldn't let himself indulge these kinds of things.

Not only because he was half human child on Vulcan that had harder time in cultivation his emotions then his peers, but also because he had a brother long time go. Sybok, who was whole Vulcan and prince beside that, disgraced their father by sub coming to emotions. He expected of Spock to follow him as he was part human, but Spock could never follow that path. He valued too much Vulcan ways to see anything prosperous in his attempts. Even Spock, who had cultivated his emotions with a price and became part of Vulcan no matter how marginal, couldn't understand his attempts to restore Vulcan's deep and uncontrollable emotions. After Sybok was gone, expelled from Vulcan mind, their father Sarek become even more distant and enigmatic figure to Spock. His refusal to see a Vulcan in Spock provoked certain dose of uneasiness that he was never truly able to overcome. His mother tried to explain him to Spock in her human way, but that was even harder for Spock to accept because he hadn't really understood humanity even when it came from inside of him, even less when it came from outside, burdened with all expressed emotions.

Because of his childhood that was clouded by difference other children could always see in him, it took only one look for them to know he is different, that he can be provoked like other children even in their young time could not. Their Vulcan curiosity made them to test him, to prove over and over imperfection of his self-control and presence of emotions. That proved useful in later years because he learned to govern those emotions that couldn't be fully repressed, and he learned what to look when he meditated to purify his mind. For that he appreciated those test. And for those reasons it was more important to him to keep his human side in control. The fear of destructive power of emotions ran deep in Vulcan culture, because of their strength and their mental powers they could do so much more damage than humans ever could. That's why humans could afford themselves luxury of emotions.

With his Vulcan heritage Spock didn't only get his physical appearance and his mind, but also the strength and depth of emotions. If his human emotions would run unattained he could provoke so much damage to those around him that he could not repair. That made him humble in his attempts to govern his emotions; he had too much to lose. He learned that early because of his mother, she was so fragile creature that owed her merely existence to restraint and control of those around her. She always tried to provoke emotions in him, to find a human in him, but he learned early that he could not be angry at her like human child could; she could not match his strength, like his servant could. That's how he got to sustain even basic emotions in front of her, he had to. It never really stopped to disturb him, that distance that she found hurtful, but he knew possibilities that lied on the path releasing emotions and that path was closed for him.

Spock had put all his effort and in time not his mother, not anyone could see human emotions in him. He himself was satisfied with his level of self control and serenity. He was at path of his father, and he seemed to notice less his human weaknesses. He even got to receive an invitation to higher layers of Vulcan knowledge, but as he stood there facing unmoving faces of one's inviting him to join them, he suddenly realized he can not join, he can not enter their temples of knowledge because in there he would never be equal, he will never receive same opportunities and possibilities as others, they will always ask for more and it will never be enough. Like it will never be enough for Sarek, he would never become Sybok without emotions, he would never be fully Vulcan and all faulty that comes from that will be noted and remembered, like his childhood outburst were remembered, never forgotten. If he had realized that sooner he would do it in more graceful manner that possibly wouldn't offend every senior Vulcan and his father. For them to offer him that opportunity and open that door was a great step, for him to turn it down was far worse than any angry punch he ever send down some testing child. Of course they were true Vulcan's and they didn't flinch or reacted, they were merely surprised by his illogicality but that could be easily explained by his human flaw.

His father was in harder position losing his second son to unexplained emotions and drives, because it could not be masked as logical and planned decision. He didn't expect of his father to abandon his dignity and agrees with his choice; Spock left him what he could, he left him intact his Vulcan integrity.

As he stood there he knew in an instant that there is only one other place he could go to gain knowledge, to grow and find out what he can about the universe and give something of his own to it. Star Fleet was outrages choice, but that possibility was the only one to offer some real potential in knowledge he could receive. That and he knew he will get his fair chance there. Humans won't see him as Human, like Vulcan's could recognize half of a child, but he won't ever ask of them to see that. He would prefer if they don't see it at all. Because of his appearance that was more than probable option. There he will be true alien without attempt to adjust, to be their own, he won't be tested for level of his perfection as Vulcan; he could just be a scientist in search for knowledge. That seemed enough for Spock.

He was good at estimating odds and everything went as he foreseen it. It wasn't anything extra-sensatory about it, it was pure calculation of conditions and he knew to estimate conditions well. Going through Star Fleet academy was a child's play for him and it would be boring if he didn't use his time well to get all the knowledge he could find. Humans and aliens alike were at proper distance just by his appearance and he wasn't bothered by distractions. Soon he was aboard Enterprise with Captain Pike and his opportunities to explore only grew. Aboard the ship he had his distance and his space; everything was going like it should.

When new Captain was assigned he didn't think much of it, he heard that he did break his test of impossible situation Kobayashi Maru by cheating, but he was obviously favored student with prominent father and that was just laughed off like innovative. At the time Spock was with Enterprise on far side of the universe. Nevertheless he didn't think much of his new Captain, or his promotion to his First Officer, because probabilities showed that he'll accept his detachment like any other human would do, to stop really see him and accept him like inevitability that came with the ship.

That's why he was taken by a surprise when the Captain stepped of the shuttle and asked permission to come aboard. He did it with confidence and smile placed on his features, the smile wasn't roaming around, he was fixed at Spock's face and he was subjected to intensive scanning of his smiling eyes. He did not try to shake hands with Spock although he did it with every other member of senior staff and all the time he kept his attention to Spock asking him directly for report of the ship's status. Spock gave full report with all system details and earned soft chuckle from the man, that provoked Spock's eyebrow to shoot up in quick reaction like it didn't in years. He was annoyed that he reacted, even more with Captain reassuring him his report was perfectly done. Then he turned around to new medic officer that Spock didn't get a chance to properly examine.

"Isn't that right Bones" he said in lithe tone that suggested hidden meaning "perfect."

"I'll say" said new doctor in growling voice "Leonard McCoy if anybody's asking. You didn't mention status of medical facilities, surely they are in a mess, I'll have to do with field kitchen tools on open wounds."

"I can assure you facilities were left in perfect order by your predecessor" Spock offered him his confused reassurance and gained yet another smile from the new Captain.

"I'll believe it when I see it" doctor McCoy waved his hand in dismissal "I know doctor Bronin, she couldn't find a right glove in pile of pairs. I'll find my own way thank you." He stopped assistance and left grumbling to himself something about spectacles that had already began, maybe even disasters.

"You'll get used to that" Captain reassured him when doctor was out of sight "he barks but doesn't bite."

"Why would he bite Captain?" Spock was even more confused and new Captain gave him rise of his own eyebrows in return, facial expression that made Spock quizzical.

"Shall we?" Captain gestured towards the hallway instead of an answer and they went towards the bridge in silence. When they were in turbo lift Captain turned to him.

"You're not familiar with Earth's sayings? I assume that because you would surely know everyone of it if you had studied it." Captain said with smile on the side, Spock studied him carefully.

"You assume well" he answered simply. "It wasn't my field of interest; I see no purpose in talking in riddles when there is a way to say things in clear and understandable manner."

"I agree to certain degree" Captain nodded his head slowly "but wheres fun in that riddles are good for the mind."

"I can concur that certain puzzles are stimulating in training our mind to work efficiently, but I don't see the point to comparing someone's behavior and words with bites and barking, if I'm not mistaken that certain attributes are related to an Earth animal called dog."

"Again you assume right, it's just a way of saying that he's anger is harmless." Captain concluded and exited to the bridge looking around.

Once again Spock was puzzled to the fact that humans would deliberately encourage anger that has no end, that doesn't serve to attack or protect, that is just a purpose for itself. Vulcan anger would undoubtedly end in violence and some sort of real action; it wouldn't be released by mere words.

Spock went to his station as new Captain sat in his chair.

"Mr. Sulu" he said to helmsmen "take her out for a spin, let's see what she's got."

"Aye sir" answered new helmsmen with a jolt in his voice. As they maneuvered out of the harbor Spock studied their new Captain. There was something different about him, not only from Captain Pike, but from other humans Spock had to deal with so far. There was something light in him, and he seemed at ease on his new position facing completely new environment and unexpected situations. Captain turned in his chair and caught Spock looking at him. Spock didn't look away, it would be human reaction, he had studied new Captain, and the fact that he turned around made it easier to close examine that new face. Captain's face lit up in a smile.

"Mr. Spock" he said and get up from his chair crossing few steps towards him. "What is out next destination?" he leaned on the rail behind Spock.

"Regiel 4 Captain" he said evenly "ambassador Leibek is waiting our shipment of new air containers."

"Of course he is" Captain chuckled for some reason and turned to new communication officer.

"Lieutenant Uhura, send the star base our greetings and let's get out of here."

As they entered warp speed and doctor McCoy entered the bridge Spock wondered what exactly makes new Captain so different, he had seen many humans to this point, and many of them smiled and laughed, and made references he did not bother to understand. It took him awhile to detect the difference, and when he did he was even more puzzled.

New Captain showed interest in him, Spock, personally, not just as First Officer and Science Officer. That interest had certain quality that was not neutral. For Spock it wasn't difficult to accept that kind of possibility, everything was possible in this Universe. But he found it highly improbable to ever come to any tangible outcome. There was more than one circumstance against anything really happening between him and his Captain. It wasn't the fact that Spock would find Captain unappealing; he had advantages that Spock could appreciate and he didn't find similar qualities in others, Vulcans or Humans. Obstacle was the fact of Vulcan ways when things of biology were concerned. Vulcans could never have humanly casual relation to those kinds of things, biological ones. Not only that matters of the body were repressed to far corners of Vulcan collective mind, but when they would emerge they would be quite serious, even deadly. Vulcan could only have one mate, and it would be for life, bond could be broken only by death. Spock highly doubted that Captain was aware of that, after all it was a private Vulcan matter. Captain thought that courting a Vulcan is something not committing like it was courting Human, and that Captain did allot. He just had that kind of approach to others, humans called it charm. That fact made Spock at ease with Captain's courting, and even gave him the space to respond like he's available to do so, like he's not a Vulcan. That had its liberating privileges, and it was useful in closer understanding of that human part in him. Soon that way of communicating became part of their daily routine.

Spock didn't think much of it because he knew the odds and knew that his bond mate is waiting for him to sub-come to his Vulcan blood. Sometimes he hopped he won't because he detested that Vulcan weakness that made them animals deprived of their mind and logic. Even after that bond was broken he didn't think much of it because there still were other factor that made it all highly improbable.

When it came to probabilities Spock usually was quick to get to real numbers of odds that were changing. He would calculate all new data into his equations following how the numbers are progressing as conditions are changing. In this specific situation considering the Captain and him and their certain connection that was forming, he never got to the real number, he never even began to calculate. He thought that was logical action because of lack of some vital data he would have to guess in order to calculate, and he didn't do guessing. Highly improbable was accurate enough because that equation depended on not so substantial facts that were hard to get into numbers. There was Captain's personal need for deep feelings that Spock could never match, despite Captain's lack of understanding Spock was what he was, a Vulcan. That could get some number, but that would be pure speculation. Another thing was the factor of available women that went through Captain's life. He had certainly reacted to them, and they would surely be more suitable companions for his needs. In time Spock could get enough data even on those women Captain would meet when Spock would not be around, he had a way to tell when that happened, but he refused to do that. That just wasn't his concern. Besides highly improbable was correct estimation in any case. Spock had no need for a number when it was very clear that the Captain's interest was only curious one, and Captain was curious man, but sooner or later there will come along someone that would be better suited for his emotions and needs.


A/N: obviously I dismissed possibility of Spock/Uhura at academy. It just wasn't in original universe, not even hinted. I'll ascribe it to alternative factors in two universes. As Kirk's father died in new universe with that Star Fleet is a bit different, and maybe Pike is more ground based filling the gap and because of that Spock is instructor at academy. In original universe I think it's clearly stated that Spock served under Pike roaming universe. Beside that Kirk was more better raised and probably went through academy a bit sooner, and his Kobayashi is different than Kirk's without father.

Now that I have unlikely, impossible and improbable in place I'll get further by set of questions. Questions do inspire me so in this story you are invited to ask them. For me now questions are:

How did it come to Kirk to insist on being called Jim by Spock?

What happened after Amok time for Spock, what changed?

How did the talk about cheat on Kobayashy Maru went?

How did Kirk managed to cheat his way into hand touching?

What weakened Spock's will to resist?

And biggest what did offended Spock so much to go through Kolinar?

I really don't expect to answer all of them, but let's take it one at the time. Bonus to this is that I have an adventure somewhere around first movie while Kirk is still admiral, not set on Enterprise. Don't know what will come to be from possibilities, we shall see. :)