CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
As they climbed out of the van, behind the florist's shop in Hollow Bastion, Axel sent Yuffie a squinting look. "And what are you doing here, again?"
She brought up her shurikan with a toothy grin. "Providing cavalry if some long-haired psycho-killer shows up."
Roxas, still clutching the redhead's hand tightly, gave it a squeeze, glaring at her a little. "But you'll be following at a distance, right?" he asked, worrying that the entire evening would be ruined by the continuous babble of excited conversation and demands to know if it was really, really true about Leon and Cloud. However, the ninja rolled her eyes. "Yes, Roxas, it'll be at a distance. There's no point trying to perv on the cuteness if you guys are too uptight to do anything in front of me."
Axel raised an eyebrow, turned to the blond. "And what, pray tell, are we even planning on doing?"
Roxas slipped into smugness. "You'll find out." Interest sparked in the redhead's eyes, a smirk forming.
"Oh, Roxie, when you say it like that, I barely know how I can wait."
Marluxia and Aerith exited the vehicle, the man locking it up and beaming, offering his arm to her. His eyes locked on Axel, he said, "Well, I hope you two have an enjoyable evening. It was pleasant seeing you again… Roxas…"
The blond scowled, as Axel gazed coolly back. Yuffie made a face, Aerith's eyes narrowing slightly. "Take care," she said, looking at each of them in turn. "Yuffie, remember to have them back in time."
The girl saluted with her weapon. "Yes, ma'am, momma Aerith. These love-bitten little birds'll be back before you know it!"
"Not too soon, I hope," Axel muttered, fixing the pink-haired man with a squinting look. He shot Aerith a warning glance as she left, making her frown slightly, no doubt stealing some of the fun from what was meant to be her evening away from the castle and its many 'children'. But if it put her on her guard, it was worth it.
As they disappeared around the corner of the building, Roxas released his hand, turned with arms folded, eyebrows raised, and demanded, "Okay, what happened between you two? I'm seriously getting worried for Aerith."
Yuffie snorted. "Hey, kid, don't you worry about Aerith. She's not some helpless little pink-wearing plant-picking wuss – if that guy tries anything, he won't know what hit him when she gets going."
"Do you think he's likely to try anything?" he asked concernedly of Axel. The redhead shook his head.
"Naw, you guys are blowing this way out of proportion. The guy's a creep in the bars, kind of likes to go for the younger ones, but he's not a total freak. It's not like he spikes drinks and has his way with people. He's just…" He rolled a shoulder. "…got a reputation?" He shrugged. "Like Yuffie said, Aerith's no pushover. I just don't want him to grope her or anything gross." He grinned a little. "Anyone who messes with Aerith, finds themselves on the receiving end of the entire castle's wrath. Up to and including DiZ. She's going to be fine." He grabbed the diminutive blond in a one-armed hug. "Besides, I'm more interested in what's happening with us, Roxie. What've you got planned?"
Roxas hesitated, glanced over at Yuffie. She smiled. "Ah, I think I'm going to go do some window shopping, okay, guys? Don't worry if you don't see me around – I'll make sure you're safe. Be back in a couple hours, or else."
They nodded, watched as she sauntered off into the market district. Once she had disappeared from view, Axel dropped a kiss onto the sweep of Roxas' cheekbone. "Okay, so madam gay-perv is gone now – what's up? What're we doing in Hollow Bastion so very suddenly? I'm pretty sure that half an hour ago you were sleeping peacefully for once, so what's so important that it makes it okay for that crazy Committee chick to leap all over you and wake you up?"
Roxas glanced away, fidgeting slightly, overcome with a shade of nervousness. "Well – I mean, look around, Axel." He glanced up at the sky, the man frowning for a moment before following his gaze. He inhaled deeply, hearing the sounds of traffic, of footsteps, of little bells ringing to announce customers into stores. It was – Hollow Bastion. He glanced sideways. "So, uh… what am I looking at?" Roxas sighed, punched his arm.
"Idiot. It's nearly sunset, isn't it? So where's the nearest goddamn rooftop? There's got to be somewhere we can watch the clouds and stuff, right?"
For a long moment, Axel just stared, a faintly perplexed expression in place. Roxas met his gaze tentatively, forced himself to not look away, a twist of apprehension interrupting the many butterflies fluttering around his insides. What if he didn't remember? Or care? What if Roxas had taken away what little sleep the man had been getting to bring him out for nothing?
Then realisation dawned, slowly, across the fair features. Green eyes widened, focusing with new understanding upon the blue. His lips parted, eyebrows lowering. "You – remembered?"
Roxas smiled hesitantly. "Yes? I just – I promised, right? I thought maybe this was as good a time as any… We're both okay for once, well… sort of… and I just, I just wondered if maybe you'd think that – " His semi-anxious dribbling was cut off by Axel's lips pressing firmly against his own, making him blink as he tried to continue, muffled, giving up a moment later and relaxing into the man's grip. He smiled a little, arms reaching up to wind around the redhead's neck, feeling an intensity radiating from Axel that for a while now had been absent, in the light of their various physical and mental problems. It reminded him all over again of the years Axel had spent waiting for him to come out of the Twilight Town system. It reminded him of the obsession, and after seeing that Marluxia guy sizing the redhead up like a potential slab of meat, nothing made him happier than knowing that every ounce of that fixation was directed his way. There was no one else, not anymore – there never had been to begin with.
The heated kiss broke, Axel gasping in the blond's exhalations, fingers digging into his back. Hoarsely, he said, "I can't believe you remembered. All that time… We're – you brought us here to watch the sunset?" Shyly, Roxas nodded, and found himself swept up again in Axel's mouth, feeling it against his own, against his cheeks, his eyelids. "You're so beautiful," the redhead whispered, planting one last, gentle kiss into his hair. "Everything about you. I can't believe…" He shook his head, drew back almost roughly, eyes burning into Roxas'. He squeezed the teen's biceps, hard enough to hurt, then shifted his hands up to his face, sweeping his thumbs across the golden eyebrows. There was a deep frown in place as he said, "You're actually here. In Hollow Bastion. After all this time…"
Roxas rolled his eyes a little to fight the blush rising on his cheeks. "So, are we going to stand here with you realising that I'm actually here while the sun goes down, or are we going to find a roof to watch it from?"
Axel smiled, dropped his hands. "I know a good place."
Fingers twining together, the pair set off, Roxas following faithfully, feeling no fear, no tiredness, no depression, just – just light, like someone had carved him out of clay, and finally whittled him down to the right size. There were no great weights on his shoulders, no blocks tied to his feet. Each step was easy, each breath complete, each heartbeat calm despite the way it throbbed with pleasant nerves through his pulse points. Being here with Axel, in the dimming sunlight, with the people all around despite the fact that it was after five now, something he'd never experienced in Twilight Town… he felt happy. It was as though, despite all their misfortune and shortcomings, Roxas was finally settling in, realising that any version of reality was better than a dully pleasant version of non-reality. This was home now. This was where he belonged. He couldn't imagine trying to be anywhere else – not even out of Hollow Bastion. The desire to go travel the world was fading. He still thought he'd like to see some places, names he'd heard in passing conversation, but he knew now that he'd always return to the castle, to where Twilight Town resided and Axel was most comfortable. Right now, looking over at the man, seeing the shine of delight slowly entering his expression the more the idea sank in of what they were doing here, there was nothing more that he wanted than for Axel to be happy. He deserved it more than anyone.
After about fifteen minutes of twisting and turning through the cobbled streets, slipping between groups and couples, they arrived at Axel's destination. They had left the heart of the market district by now, had headed into the crumbling edges between the broken down section bordering the war-torn areas and the rebuilt parts. The building they stood before was tall, slightly bowed, one section of the foundations sinking. No doubt, in a year or two, if it wasn't renovated it would fall apart – it was already halfway there. Roxas eyed it dubiously. "Another place we used to go?"
Axel chuckled. "No, I don't think you've ever been here. I have, though. Used to be a club, before the foundations crunched like that." He sighed. "It really was an idiotic place to have one – nearly crushed a bunch of people in the basement." He flashed a smile at the blond, teeth glinting in the golden light. "Fortunately, a night I'd chosen not to attend."
"Good," Roxas said darkly. He glared at the edifice, a symbol of the years of Axel's confusion and torment as far as he was concerned. "So why are we here?"
Axel craned his neck, head tipping back. "The fire escape leads all the way up. It's high and secluded." He looked over at the teen. "I figured it was as good a place as any, but, uh, you're not looking entirely thrilled. We can find somewhere else, if you're not happy with it."
Reluctantly, Roxas shook his head. "No, it's fine. It'll do."
"Jeeze, tone down the enthusiasm, Rox, you're gonna give me an aneurism."
The blond scowled. "How the hell are we meant to get up without killing ourselves in the process? And speaking of our untimely deaths, where's Yuffie?" They each glanced around, scanning the surroundings, finding themselves utterly alone. "Some cavalry she is," he mumbled. Axel grinned.
"Maybe she's buying something naughty for Leon and Cloud, to celebrate their new relationship. God knows they don't do anything halfway."
Roxas sighed, smacked his healthy shoulder. "Come on, then. We're missing the sunset." Axel hesitated, eyes on the blond, before nodding. He led the way around to the back of the building, through a narrow alley filled with junk and debris. They clambered over the fragments of rock and cement, feet slipping on the many tiles, clanging across a stray piece of guttering. Roxas hissed as something stabbed into his leg sharply. He took several staggering steps, found some level ground and bent to inspect his jeans.
"Rox?" He glanced up, saw Axel had climbed up onto a garbage can, had a hand on the rusted ladder leading to the fire escape.
"I'm coming," he grunted, wiping the sweat away and clambering over and up as Axel started ascending. The metal shuddered and shivered under the man's weight, Roxas balancing on the dustbin as he dubiously waited to see if Axel would make it up before the entire thing chose to simply crumble out from beneath him. He made it to the narrow staircase, looping his long legs over the rail one after the other. The exertion on his injured shoulder had to have been painful, but he made no complaints, turning to grin at the blond. "Hello, down there," he said, elbows leaning against the rail. "Coming up?"
Roxas sighed uncertainly, wrapped his hands around the rough, cold bars, thin and frail-looking with so many pounds to hold. But if it hadn't gone down with Axel…
He climbed, muscles awakening for the first time in days, aches and pains remembering themselves and starting conversations down near the bone, sweat slick against his palms, making them slide along the metal. He hated the way the ladder shook each time he heaved himself up to the next rung. But then something warm touched his knuckles. Glancing up, he saw Axel smiling down at him, holding out a hand to help him the last of the way. He hesitated, pride insisting that he was fine, he didn't need help at all – but then, wasn't it he who had brought Axel out here to begin with? He knew the sorts of thrills the redhead got from the little things like this, just small gestures that proved he was present, ready to do almost anything for Roxas' further comfort and contentment. He was the one who'd thought this would be something nice for them – something normal, and – and couple-y. So, damn it, stop acting like a kid with issues, and start acting like – like a boyfriend. That's what they were, what they'd called each other that morning – there really wasn't any point in him trying to deny it, or wonder about it. No other term sprung to mind, or felt so natural.
Roxas unpeeled his cold hands from the ladder, grasped Axel's fingers, felt the security of knowing that Axel was right there. He wouldn't let the blond fall, or even slip. "Be careful of your ribs," he warned, as Roxas stretched a leg out. Axel's other hand clamped his thigh, holding him steady, and together they swung him over onto more solid footing. Axel looked pleased with himself, a little glow setting up behind his face. "Watch yourself," he said, as they started off up the rickety steps. Roxas nodded, following his steps closely, mounting higher and higher along the weak building. It occurred to him that this was likely to be one of the more fragile parts of the structure, but since so far nothing had shattered out from under them, he could only hope that the rest of it was as trustworthy, despite appearances.
One last ladder met them near the top, taking them over the edge onto the broad, flat roof of the building. Roxas hauled himself over, head throbbing slightly, breathing hard. His stamina had been obliterated by the hospital stay, the recent events sapping his strength. His thoughts swam through a slight fog, a lightness seizing the top of his skull. But then the hands were there again, the arms, and he fell into them, clutching handfuls of Axel's sweater as they panted and recovered. He noticed the redhead hissing through his teeth, looked up in concern. "Are you okay?"
"I'm good," he grunted. "Just hurts. I'll take something when we get back."
Roxas dimmed. "I'm sorry. I didn't even think of that."
Axel shook his head, sending down an affectionate look. "Believe me, Rox, pain I can handle. It's really nothing new. I would give almost anything to be up here with you right now." Roxas smiled, looked sideways from their perch on the edge of it all to gaze out at the horizon.
"Well, we're kind of late," he said regretfully. "Look." The sun had dipped, still showing but not far from disappearing. The sky had lost its golden-amber gleam, fading into deeper shades of blue and purple, streaked with touched of pink. "It's not like it was on Sunset Hill."
"Yeah, but Rox, it's called Sunset Hill for a reason," Axel pointed out. "It has the best view for the longest time. Hollow Bastion sunsets are quicker."
"Why?" Roxas asked, momentarily frustrated by the anomaly. "Why not make it identical?"
Axel shrugged, Roxas feeling the motion along his arms. "It's modelled after the real Twilight Town." In response to Roxas' shocked look, he added, "DiZ grew up there, decided it was a good place to send a bunch of orphans, and made the simulation to mimic it." He smiled. "And for once, the old freak was right. You had a good life there. You grew up good."
Frowning slightly, Roxas rested his face against the man's chest. "I'd have preferred being here with you."
"No, you wouldn't, Roxie," he replied quietly. "Life here wasn't great for a very long time. I, for one, am glad you were there for the bad stuff… even if it meant me being lonely for a while." He kept the smile in place, but it saddened as he spoke, as if that sensation was never far off, even with the blond right where he wanted him. Roxas drew back slightly, studying his face. As if embarrassed by the admission, the man turned his head to the side, squinting off into the distance, avoiding the blue gaze. Roxas tugged his sleeves gently. "Come on. There's still a few minutes left. Let's watch the clouds."
Axel snorted slightly. "Suddenly, I feel like a little kid." Nevertheless, he allowed himself to be led over to the edge closest to the sun. Roxas lowered first, fearlessly seating himself on the stone with his legs hanging over the edge. He glanced up at Axel's hesitation. "You should be careful," the man said nervously. "That's, uh, quite a drop there, Roxie."
"Psh," Roxas said dismissively, waving a hand through the air. "Just get me some sea-salt ice-cream, and I'm back on the clock-tower. No big deal."
Axel joined him, more cautious in the real world than he had been in Twilight Town. "You know, we could get you some sea-salt ice-cream," he offered. "We could get Vaan to import a couple crates or something. There's a couple of deep freezers back at the castle that'd hold it."
"From the real Twilight Town?" the blond asked curiously, hands pressing against the edge, feet kicking absently. At Axel's nod, he frowned a little. "I think… I'd like to see it. The real one. It'd be… interesting."
Axel watched him warily. "Your friends aren't going to be there, if that's what you're hoping. They're stuck in the simulation, which is only based on the real Twilight Town."
Roxas shrugged. "I know that. It'd still be worth doing, though. We could sit on the clock tower for real."
Amused, the redhead asked, "And do what?"
Roxas turned a little, winked, sticking out his tongue. "Whatever you want."
Axel's eyes widened, eyebrows shooting high, the corners of his mouth twitching up. Disbelieving, he said, "Oh, really? Watch yourself, Roxie – I might just have to keep that in mind. We'll see how willing you are to do whatever I want when we get there."
"Ah, but we have to get there first, don't we?" the blond pointed out smugly. Green eyes narrowed, a smirk in place.
"Touché. Perhaps that's a trip I'll just have to find a way for us to go on. You've aroused my curiosity, among other things."
Roxas rolled his eyes, bumped the man's shoulder with his head. "Everything's about arousals with you, isn't it?"
"When you're in the vicinity? Uh, yeah."
The blond sighed, shaking his head, a smile in place as Axel shifted closer, curling an arm around his waist. He leaned easily onto his shoulder, inhaling a deep, contented breath. His eyes slid shut, ignoring the sight he'd brought them both up here to see, concentrating only on the feeling that swirled at this contact, this beautiful quiet time between just the two of them. Axel lowered his mouth to the blond's ear, murmuring, "This was a nice idea – thanks." Roxas swivelled his head, met his lips. He shifted closer to the redhead, was engulfed in the warmth of his arms. He breathed in Axel's scent, smiling, hands winding around the back of his head, fingers threading through the blazing hair. He drew back, replied, "You're welcome, but we're still missing it."
"Do I look like I care?" came the muttered response. For several sweet minutes, there was just a mindless, peaceful meeting of mouths, fingers brushing skin, shivering at the combination of the world's chill and their personal heat. Satisfaction welled within Roxas, numbing him to any and all concerns, retrieving his mind from its anxious parlours in the various far-flung sections of his head and drawing them all into being here, right now, with Axel. If it hadn't been for the redhead, none of this would have even been possible. He couldn't think of anyone else, even Naminé despite Axel's paranoia, who would have wanted to bring him out of the system. He would have been trapped forever, in an open-air box, never knowing what life could be.
They parted, lips shining, faces warm. Roxas nuzzled into the redhead's chest. "Axel?" The man hummed sleepily in response, fingertips massaging Roxas' scalp. "I just realised something."
"Oh?"
"I never – thanked you. For getting me out. You – you did everything for me, you've had to put up with so much bullshit – "
The massage paused. "Roxas…"
"Let me finish," the blond said sharply. "You've put up with so much because of me, and you've never complained, or pushed me or anything, and God only knows you've had the grounds to, countlesstimes. And I just realised, I never thanked you, not saved me, Axel…"
Axel sighed. "Roxas, you know why I did it all. It's not like I was being totally selfless."
Roxas drew in a breath through his nose, fingers tightening momentarily on the material of his sweater. "You did it because you love me, right?"
"Right."
The fluttering increased in his belly, the knowledge a glorious sledgehammer to his head, the soft smile breaking out without him even knowing. "Well, congratulations," he said softly. "It's all paid off. I love you, too."
Axel blinked, Roxas feeling his posture stiffen, the smile growing larger against the man's chest. "Was that – did you just…?" Axel squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head to clear it. "I'm sleeping," he muttered. "Fuck. But damned if that wasn't the weirdest love-confession I've ever dreamed." He glared down at the blond. "Usually, it's a lot more dramatic. We'd be having sex by now. Why's this one so different?"
Torn between amusement and uncertainty, Roxas replied, "Because things never work out in non-reality like they do in your head?"
Axel stared. "Roxas – am I sleeping, or awake? I don't even know right now."
A half-smile hovered over Roxas' lips. "What do you think?"
Axel's brow creased, mouth angling down as he flicked his gaze from one of the blue eyes to the next, assessing the sincerity within each, searching for signs of – confirmation? Verity? Mockery? Why didn't he look – happy?
"Roxas, are you fucking with me?" he demanded at last. Roxas was stunned – this wasn't the reaction he'd anticipated. His stomach dropped at the severity of Axel's tone, sounding injured as he drew away, twisting on the parapet, replying, "No, I'm not fucking with you. I said it because I meant it, because I feel it, for God's sake!"
"No," Axel replied quietly. Roxas was incredulous.
"No?" he echoed, disbelievingly. "What the hell do you mean, no?"
The redhead looked out over darkening Hollow Bastion, cold winds blowing in from the mountains, streetlights blinking on one by one. "I mean," he explained calmly, "that you're not in love with me. That's not how it works. I spend my life loving you, and you spend yours always – just that little bit out of reach." He looked flatly at the blond. "I don't believe you."
He was startled as Roxas' abused knuckles collided with the cement, anger and frustration screwing his features together. "Damn it, Axel, why the hell does everything have to be complicated?" The last word was a shout, breaths coming shallowly, chest being stabbed by hurt and helplessness. He grabbed Axel's head, shook him so that he swayed. "I'm not on the other side of reality anymore, I'm right here. If you never believed I'd love you back, why the fuck did you even bother?" Axel didn't respond, didn't look at him. Eyebrows drawing together, Roxas gently released him. "This is – ridiculous. Can't you see that? I brought you here so we could be just – together for a while, and – and tell you. Because this… this isn't something I've just decided, Axel. It's not something I just felt like saying." When Axel showed no sign of acknowledgement, he punched his arm. "Are you even listening?"
Axel snorted, drew his knees up, hugging them. "I hear you."
"So why aren't you saying anything?" Roxas asked, distressed. "Do you think I'm just making this up? Look at me, please. I'm so fucking serious right now, Axel. After everything that's been going wrong lately, please don't add us to the list!"
Some element of the desperation in his voice must have entered whatever fog Axel had drawn around himself, because for the first time since this had become an argument, the green eyes darted over. There was a hardness to them that Roxas recognised as a shield, hiding away the deeper thoughts and emotions. It was just like when he'd been told about Axel's promiscuity by the assholes in town, when he'd spat the name 'nobody' at Roxas and then run. That same bone-deep terror covered up by darkness and anger.
"What would you do," Roxas asked, voice tight and jerky, "if you woke up tomorrow and I was gone?"
Axel met his gaze for a long moment. "…Is that something I'm likely to have to experience?"
"I want to know if you'd even care," Roxas said sharply. "Because for all your wonderful declarations all this time, you're sure as hell not acting like you love me right now. Would you even give a shit if I was gone tomorrow?"
Irritation flashed through his expression. "Of course I'd care. I love you. It's you that wouldn't care."
"You fucking bitch," the blond hissed through his teeth. "How dare you tell me I wouldn't care if you were gone. I love you, you stupid jerk, but if you're too fucking caught up in your precious emotional issues to even see it when it's right in front of your face – " He lowered his head as he stood, keeping his eyes locked on Axel's, which seemed duller than ever. " – if thirteen years of obsession is more important to you than what we have right here and now, with me actually close enough to touch for once in you're life, then fuck. You. I'll go somewhere else until you figure out what the fuck you want, and you'll be lucky if at the end of it I even bother looking at you." He repressed the urge to start smacking the redhead, an instinctive desire to express the depth of his rage in that moment, instead turning, straightening, and stalking away. It was only when he was halfway across the roof that the tears came, now that he didn't have to look at the blankness, now that the pain had its opportunity to rise up. His vision blurred in an instant, shoulders hunching over as he began to sob. He didn't even – didn't even want to – he was furious with himself for it – but they wrenched from his chest, one after another, until he could barely walk straight, could barely even… hold himself up. He reached the ladder, lowered to his knees, crying hard. This was the final straw. It was too much. He couldn't handle this. As he touched the first rung, preparing to descend, a pair of hands suddenly seized him, yanking him back with a gasp. He hadn't heard Axel's footsteps as he ran the short distance to grab Roxas before he could disappear, but the panic in the man's face as he was spun around said enough. Roxas shoved him away, followed his staggering and punched him in the chest, right above the heart. "You fucking ass. I hate you!"
"No, you don't," Axel said in a rush, snatching his fists as they came in for a second attack, "you love me. Don't you? You do. There's no way you'd get this upset otherwise. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make you cry."
"Well you did," Roxas snarled, "and now I look like an idiot, and my nose is running, and my eyes are stinging, and my fucking fist is hurting from where I punched the fucking concrete. Why couldn't you have just believed me at the start? Before I got this fucked up?" Axel didn't reply, located the scraped-bloody knuckles, the same ones that had rammed the wall just the night before, and kissed them, one by one.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, Rox, I'm so sorry," he muttered, between each lip-staining kiss. Roxas watched him for a few moments, sniffing, head throbbing, blinking away the salt-water. "Why can't things ever just be easy?" he wondered brokenly. Axel looked up, eyes soft again now, the masks all pulled away, regret and fear inside them.
"They will be. From now on, I swear it, Rox, they will. I won't be a bitch, I won't cling to the past, I – you're here now." He released his hands, took hold of his face, brought him close. "I'm sorry," he breathed. "I'm sorry for being stupid. I didn't mean to not believe you, I just – I got scared – this never happens in reality, it's always only been in my head, it just doesn't feel real."
"It is," Roxas snapped. "And that means you have to come up with a real response, not some bullshit fantasy crap where we end up having sex five seconds after I declare my undying-fucking-love for you."
Axel hitched in a breath, a crooked, desperate smile appearing, head tilting to the side as he stepped his lower body back, upper body leaning forward. "No sex?" Roxas gave him an unimpressed look.
"Axel. I love you." The words were flat, with an edge, his eyes watchful. Axel took a deep breath, brought up one palm and smeared away the moisture from his face. He leaned down and pressed his lips firmly against Roxas'. The blond tasted his own knuckles, the coppery tang filling his mouth as Axel's tongue entered. The redhead's blunt nails dug into the sides of his neck, as a moment later he pulled back. "I love you, too. I do. You know I do."
"And now, you know that I do," Roxas said, still warily eyeing him. He wanted to see the agreement, wanted to know that Axel understood. The man couldn't help the small hesitation that occurred, but when Roxas' eyes narrowed, he nodded.
"Yes. I do. You – you love me, right?" He laughed a little, shrilly. "You do?"
Roxas sighed, the pain around his heart subsiding. He reached out, propping his wrists on Axel's shoulders. "I'm not promising a wedding gown anytime soon, in white or blue to match my eyes, but yes, Axel, I do. And this is not a dream, due to the lack of aforementioned sex."
Axel returned to himself a little, saying ruefully, "That's true. All my dreams with you involve sex in one way or another, so this must be real."
Roxas shook his head wearily. "What a crazy way to say 'I love you'. I feel like I've just walked through a storm."
Axel wrapped himself more securely around the blond, smiling genuinely for the first time, relaxing slightly. "Well, this is a pretty stormy little affair we've got going, right?"
"Oh, so it's an affair now? And here I thought I was your boyfriend."
Axel's hand came up to cup the back of his skull, drawing their foreheads to bump together. "You are. You're mine now, no matter what. And I'm yours, and, well, nothing else matters." A finger came up to brush a stray tear that clung to Roxas' eyelashes. "I'm sorry for making you cry."
Roxas closed his eyes, nodded, said hoarsely, "It's okay. Just – don't do it again. Christ, I don't think I could handle this twice."
"Good thing there's only one first time for saying it, then, right?"
Roxas laughed shortly. "I don't know, I might like the opportunity to try this a second time, get it right maybe."
Axel shook his head. "No. You did it perfectly. All romantic and stuff. It was me that screwed it up."
Roxas wrapped his arms under Axel's, held him close, exhausted all of a sudden. It was all so draining, but it was night now – he didn't want to have to sleep through the night, and suffer whatever his brain felt like throwing at them. Not after this – they needed some peace so badly. He lifted his chin, kissing the corner of Axel's mouth. "So, what now?"
Axel nestled his cheek against Roxas' hair, feeling the soft brush on his skin, eyes slipping shut. "We disappear?"
"To where?"
"Hmm." His hand came up to stroke the teen's face. "How does anywhere sound to you?"
A short, snuff of a laugh. "I can deal with that. Anywhere sounds pretty good."
Axel smiled. "Well, we're there already. Yay. I love short trips."
Roxas chuckled weakly, burying his face into the warm safety of Axel's neck. It was a long time before they moved again, except to sway gently from side to side in a slow, silent waltz.
.o.O.o.
Yuffie was waiting back at the florist's, leaning carelessly against the van, inspecting her nails. She glanced over, squinting slightly at Axel, but smiled as they approached. "Well, well, if it isn't the lovebirds back from their expedition. Have fun, boys?"
Axel was bent sideways, head touching Roxas' as they walked. Their arms were intertwined, bodies touching, looking more content than the ninja could remember from either of them. Whatever hardness that was in her eyes when she looked at the redhead melted away, her expression growing softer. Axel lifted an eyebrow at her, smirking. "We did, and we didn't even get attacked by crazy sword-wielding maniacs, which is lucky since you were nowhere to be seen, thank you so kindly."
She shrugged smugly. "You think what you want, techie, fact of the matter is, you didn't get attacked, did you? So then, everybody's happy."
Drawing Roxas into his arms, Axel flopped against the side of the vehicle, touching his chin to the boy's head. "Did we get the timing okay?"
She rolled her eyes, pushing some hair from her eyes. "Do you see Aerith tapping her foot? She's not back yet. She won't be long, then we can ride back up with mister gross."
"He better not have touched her," Roxas growled, muffled by Axel's sweater. Axel laughed.
"Relax, Rox, he's a guys-only type. Aerith's got her sights on the wrong dude if she's hoping to set up a flower shop filled with the patter of little feet with him."
"She should've stuck with Zack," the blond mumbled. "He was nice."
Yuffie scowled. "He was Zanarkand. I'd rather see Aerith with mister gross."
"And would you rather see Leon with mister gross as well?" Axel asked pointedly. "I mean, I'm not gonna throw my hands up in joy that Cloud's a soldier, but who cares, really? He's the same guy. He obviously didn't like it where he was – better to go AWOL than continue til he's discharged, right? That's what I'd do."
"Well, whoopdie-do for you," the girl said testily. "You don't even know the full story, so shut your trap."
Roxas groaned. "Are you going to be pissy with him for the rest of your lives? A little while ago, you were excited that he and Leon were together – what's changed since then?"
She sulked. "Shut up. I don't have to answer to you. I'll form my own opinions, thank you very much."
"Well, don't make them dumb opinions, okay?" Axel said wryly. "I think we could all do with a holiday from the tension."
Roxas grunted in heartfelt agreement, tightening his grip on the man. Axel sighed, stroking his hair soothingly. A few minutes of silence passed, Yuffie brooding away, the two males fending off the sucking tiredness tugging at their eyes, luxuriating in this peaceful respite. At last, Aerith's upbeat voice drifted into hearing, growing steadily clearer. She appeared on the arm of Marluxia, looking as unruffled and happy as ever, chattering away as the man nodded and smiled. Again, as he spotted Axel, the pleasantness of his expression was oiled by something close to a leer, this time encompassing Roxas as well. The redhead glared, hugging Roxas closer. Aerith let go of his arm and floated over. "How did everything go?"
"Great, Aerith," Roxas smiled, twisting in Axel's arms. "Thanks."
She waved him away with a gentle look. "Don't mention it." She smoothed her skirt, looking at each of them brightly, looking for all the world like she'd had fun for once that didn't include laundry, cooking, or playing peace-maker. "So, shall we go home, everyone?"
Yuffie pushed off the side of the van. "Please. I need to raid Luxord's bar."
"And me and Roxie need to eat," Axel complained. "It's been way too long since breakfast."
"Just nothing cooked, right?" the pink-clad woman said with an uncustomary smirk. She shook her head with a sigh. "I'll bring out the bleach in the morning."
They all piled into the van, back into their same seats, and within minutes were travelling back up towards the castle. Roxas looked out at the darkness with apprehension. It seemed like only a heartbeat had passed since he'd been blessed with the morning to sleep through, but rather than feeling refreshed by the day's slumber, his body, reminded of what a good sleep could be, only craved more. Roxas wondered how on earth he'd be able to last the entire night through. It stretched before him, long and foreboding.
Axel, watching him, seeing the anxiety begin to draw lines through his skin, nudged him with a thumb. "Forgot to tell you," he murmured. "I've got you working a shift with Sora tonight. He was there when I went to switch the roster around, asked if I could send you along for a few hours to help with Twilight Town. I figured it was a good way to keep you alert for a while."
Roxas was relieved, smiled a little, before frowning. "What help could I give?" The redhead shrugged.
"Who cares, as long as it keeps you busy?" He smiled worriedly, tracing a finger down the blond's face, making his eyes slip shut at the sensation. "While you're working, I'll see what I can do about getting you someone to talk to – someone who can actually help."
Roxas nodded sleepily. "Sounds good," he whispered, lost in the brush of skin on skin. Axel paused, cupped his chin, leaned down to claim a gentle peck from his lips. "Everything's looking up now, I promise."
They rumbled the rest of the way up the mountain, towards home.
