CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Leon and Cloud were lingering over the remains of dinner when Axel and Roxas entered the dining hall. Papers crowded the surface of the table as they continued their search for the supplies thief, who had been quiet of late. Axel's face brightened upon seeing them, entirely alone at their table, but one glance at Roxas' expression discouraged him. He grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. "I'll… be good," he promised. Roxas leaned up, kissed him gently with a smile. Axel's mouth twisted up instantly, returning the gesture, a swirl of pure joy filling up his insides as, in the middle of the hall, with people still around, Roxas' current version of PDA didn't include the sweet exchange of kisses.
Kairi, nearby with Naminé, nudged the blonde girl and nodded her head over to where the happy couple stood, ignoring the rest of the world in favour of each other, the air around them practically dancing. "They look good, don't they?" she said softly, smiling. "Finally, huh? Sometimes I wondered about him… but everything's worked out for those two."
Naminé sighed, picking at her leftovers. "They certainly seem happy with each other." She looked over with a wistful expression. "They got lucky."
"Axel got lucky," the other girl emphasised. "I don't know how many nights I couldn't sleep for worrying about that jerk. All that time spent pining after Roxas, when they were just friends as kids…" She shook her head. "I'm just thankful, seriously. I'm not even going to waste the fear wondering what it would have been like if Roxas had rejected him…"
Naminé scrunched up her nose, nodding in fervent agreement. "It hurts your head to even consider it." She returned her gaze to where the pair had yet to move from their content positions with a sigh. "They really look very sweet together. I wonder where they went this afternoon?"
Kairi shrugged, placing her elbows on the table, hands clasping together as she propped her chin on them. "Probably somewhere to do something disgustingly cute," she supposed. "Wish I could get some of that." She looked longingly over at Leon and Cloud. "I'm thinking my chances are dead."
Naminé smiled. "Someday, we'll find guys who aren't all quite so consistently gay. We need a girl's night out, I think. You, me, Larxene."
Kairi was distasteful. "Do we have to invite her? She's… bitchy."
The blonde sighed. "We can't just exclude her, Kairi. I know she comes off as… abrasive… but it would hurt her feelings if we didn't ask her along."
"Or at least piss her off," the other girl muttered, rolling her eyes. "Can we all say 'hypocrisy'? Okay, ask her. But she'd better not be mean."
Yuffie went striding past their table, a firm expression on her face, a woman with a mission. She made a beeline for Leon and Cloud, marched straight to where the blond was sitting, and slapped something down onto the table, startling them both. Cloud's head slipped from its perch upon his fingers, eyes darting up, a scowl finding his mouth a moment later. "Yuffie, what – ?"
"Peace offering," she said shortly, cutting him off. Cloud's features were drawn into puzzlement, eyes dropping to the item under her fingers, slightly thicker than a piece of paper. A card of some sort? Leon was torn between wanting to glare at her for her continuing animosity towards the blond, and his role as leader to keep out of their personal affairs and maintain neutrality. He settled for a frown, gaze stern, ready to step in if she started chewing the man out. Yuffie felt his eyes upon her, ignored it, lifting her hand so that Cloud could pick the item up. He stared blankly at the flat white surface, the size of an envelope, before it occurred to him to turn it over. Eyebrows fell down for a moment of incomprehension, until realisation dawned. He blinked, raised an eyebrow at her uncertainly. "It's… it's a photo of Leon's ass."
"It's what?" The brunet made a grab for it, held it between both hands in astonishment.
Yuffie smiled brightly. "Actually, it's both of you!" She leaned over the man's shoulder, pointing, "See, there you are, crippled by the heels! It's poker night!"
There was a long, tense silence. "I don't suppose…" Cloud asked weakly, "this is the original?"
She snorted. "Are you kidding? I mean, aside from the negatives, we all got a copy."
"All? All who?"
Leon cleared his throat, attempting a tight sort of nonchalance. "What makes you think this is a peace offering? What would Cloud want with it?"
"Well, it's your first official photo together," she said excitedly, bouncing slightly on her toes. She gripped the back of their chairs, leaning to put her head between theirs, singing, "And a little biiiiirdie told me that last night you two were – "
"Axel, you asshat," Cloud bellowed. A sick giggle floated across the hall.
" – ruttin' like dogs!" Yuffie finished with a squeal. She grabbed them both around the neck, squeezing them tightly. "Congratulations, boys!"
"Oh, my God," Cloud moaned, dropping his head to the table. Then he popped up again a second later, panicked. "Oh, my God, you didn't tell Aerith, did you? She'll kill me! She'll – "
"Oh, shut up," Yuffie said, slapping the back of his head. "She doesn't care, she's just glad that you're happy at last."
"Did I say I was happy?" the blond wailed. "Did I even say it was true?"
"Yuffie, Cloud is still dealing with the death of his ex," said Leon firmly. "Now really isn't the time to be playing these games."
"Games!" She was shocked, a hand to her breast. "Please don't tell me you guys just had a tension-fuck! No, no, no!" She stamped her feet, hands becoming fists. "No way! Nu-uh!" She pointed an accusing finger. "You two were made for each other, and last night you finally realised something, didn't you?!" She glared, hands propping on hips. "If you want to take things slow, that's just fine, but do not deny that you're together now."
The men exchanged wild glances. "Yuffie, we haven't even had a chance to discuss this properly," Leon protested. "You can't just come over and start demanding that we be a couple! You're being complete unfair on Cloud!"
"Oh? And what about you, Leon?" A new voice entered the conversation.
Cloud's skull reconnected with the table, as he despaired, "Oh, God, there's two of them."
Tifa took her place beside Yuffie, solidifying their front, making the ninja nod firmly. "That's right – what about what's fair on you?"
"What do you mean, what's fair on me?" the man demanded, before suddenly remembering he was meant to be the stoic, emotionless leader of the group. He jammed his fingers into the corners of his eyes. "I don't see how any of this is your business, either of you, anyone," he added in a loud voice to those open-mouthed eavesdroppers remaining in the hall.
"Well, Aerith told me what Axel told her – "
"I'm gonna kill him," Cloud muttered.
" – and it sounds to me like you two definitely got up to something intimate when no one was looking. Now, I know Cloud has feelings for you, any idiot can see that you have feelings for Cloud – "
"Which is no doubt how so many of you noticed," Leon grated between his teeth. Cloud, meanwhile, started flailing in mental pain.
"I'm dying," he croaked. "You're all – fucking – killing me." He buried his face in his palms.
"My point is, that it's not fair on you to be left hanging like this," Tifa said firmly. "You like him a lot – I won't venture for the other 'L' word just yet, because I know neither of you is ready to hear it – and one thing every woman knows, and most sensible men, is that you do not leave someone hanging. You guys are practically living together – it's not like you can just ignore this!"
"Yeah!" Yuffie cried, encouraged by the support. "If this was a one-night stand, you guys chose a shitty place to do it, and I don't mean the stove, I mean the castle. It's not like you can avoid each other!"
"It wasn't a one-night stand," said Cloud desperately.
"So it's a continuing thing?" Tifa pounced.
"I don't know!"
"Will you leave us alone?" Leon boomed angrily.
"Not until we know your current marital status! Update me, now!"
"Single," Leon snapped.
"In a fucking relationship," Cloud cried at the same time. They stopped, stared at each other in confusion and some amounts of panic, said in unison, "I mean – ", stopped again.
Smugly, Tifa folded her arms. "Maybe you two should discuss this further somewhere nice and quiet."
"As long as a discussion is actually had," Yuffie warned. "You're both way too good at covering your feelings. No being wimpy, now, or we'll have to come run interference."
"Haven't you interfered enough already?" Leon hissed.
"Oh, you can thank Axel for that," the brunette girl said brightly. "After all, he's the one that blurted it out."
"Fuck you, ninja," the redhead called across.
"Not with your boyfriend around, honey," she trilled back without turning, "especially after that train-wreck of a love-confession in town."
There was a moment of choking, Tifa whipped around, eyes wide. "Train-wreck? How?"
"Aw, Axel was being all angsty and dumb," Yuffie sniffed, waving a hand. "It's okay now, though, they sorted it out."
"You weren't even there!" Axel cried, traumatised.
"Was too," she sang, flipping him off over her shoulder. "Anyway, back to the idiots at hand…"
Axel gaped down at Roxas, who stared back, a few shades paler than he had been at the beginning of what had been turning out to be an entertaining display. "What a bitch," the redhead said shrilly. "She was spying on us!"
"Well… she was supposed to be making sure we didn't get attacked, I guess," replied Roxas uncertainly. "She'd need to be close enough to get to us in time…"
"But – but we didn't even see her."
"Isn't that a good thing?" Roxas attempted. "I mean, there's no way I would have said what I did if I knew she was hanging around."
Axel scowled, folding his arms, tapping a foot impatiently. "I'm telling you, this place is full of goddamn perverts."
Roxas smirked, poked him in the ribs. "Not the least of which is you." Axel grinned, slung an arm around him, pulling him close.
"Ah, perhaps, but I'm your pervert. I promise not to perv on anyone but you."
"And I'm reassured by that," Roxas said dryly, eyes rolling. "Come on, let's get something to eat, I'm starving."
"Something to go, maybe?" Axel suggested hopefully. "The death looks I'm getting from Cloud are kind of killing my appetite."
Roxas smiled crookedly. "Yeah, good idea. Wouldn't want my boyfriend dead before we even get anywhere, right?" Axel eyed him suspiciously for a moment.
"Define 'anywhere'."
Roxas' smile crinkled his eyes. "We're already there. I love short trips." Axel's eyes narrowed, lips pursing. He jabbed a finger in the blond's face.
"You. Watch yourself."
"But I thought you liked to be teased," Roxas answered innocently. Axel's mouth opened, no sound coming out, Roxas growing smug. "We really should get a move on. Wouldn't want Cloud to hurt you, now."
The green gaze narrowed further. "You just got evil on me." He considered for a moment, nodded. "I like it."
Roxas gave him a gentle push. "Get the food. I need some air – I'll meet you in the garden." Axel frowned slightly.
"Are you feeling okay?"
Actually… he felt hot, and kind of queasy. His head was swimming slightly, and it wasn't just the gentle euphoria he'd gained after their trip into the city. He felt – shaky. But he nodded. "I just need to clear my head," he murmured. "Don't forget to bring me something." Axel caught his chin, pressed their lips together lingeringly.
"I won't forget you," he said softly. He kissed Roxas' warm forehead, frowning at the heat that met his lips. "I'll bring you something cool." Roxas smiled, pulled away, and left the dining hall. There was a curious sensation creeping up and down his spine, an icy prickle of heat that made him shiver from time to time, slapping at the base of his neck as if there was a bug perched there, crawling back and forth. The exhaustion was playing tricks with his mind. Weren't people meant to start hallucinating after about three consecutive days without sleep? Did it count when Roxas' nights were hideously disturbed? He'd slept earlier, and it had been uneventful, but it hadn't been enough. He was glad they had got the chance to go out to Hollow Bastion, pleased and relieved by how things had turned out despite the jerkiness provided by the bewilderment of Axel's thirteen-year fixation having trouble catching up to the present, but God, the sleep he'd caught had been precious. He thought of it longingly as he trudged through the long halls, following the now-familiar maze towards the courtyard garden, wishing he'd had just a few hours longer. Then maybe his limbs wouldn't drag so much, his head so incredibly heavy.
This felt so unhealthy – the darker it got, the weaker he felt. His body knew sleep was due, especially since it was night – what the hell had happened to the long, languid hours he'd experienced in the hospital? He never thought he'd think upon the time with anything more than distaste, but here he was, revering those drugged-up days when nothing was expected but for him to recover. What he wouldn't give to have everything good all in the one time and place – fully-rested, uninjured, with Axel. He was pretty sure he hadn't seen that state of affairs since Twilight Town. How fucking insane was that?
He pushed open the broad, ornate gates of the garden, hearing them creak loudly as he exited into the coolness, the dark. It was soothing, washing over him in a blanketing wave, obliterating momentarily the leeches of weariness hanging from his flesh, sucking him dry. He headed into the centre of the broad lawn, halted and tilted his head back, wiping his hands over his hair with a sigh, tucking them behind his skull, eyes slipping shut, then opening again reluctantly, flicking from bright star to bright star. He hummed a little, as if talking to himself. Minutes passed, his muscles relaxing, shoes melting into the ground, legs taking root as he allowed his sleepy mind to become mesmerised by the millions of burning planets.
Something darted just in the edge of his vision, distracting him. It was a flicker, a taste of blue, but when he twisted, eyeballs swivelling in their sockets, nothing was there. He paused suddenly, stiffening at the familiarity of this. Not just because of what happened in the tunnels with Seifer during the conditioning process – something else, something insistent at the back of his mind. There was something recognisable here. It was like – had he seen it in a movie? Had he watched it on TV? Played a game in which this had happened? Another flash of motion from the other peripheral, he turned sharply, relaxing as Axel approached quietly, feet crushing through the grass. He smiled, toting a small armful of food and drink, face tipping to the side. "You okay, Roxie? Looking kinda pale."
Roxas smiled a little tightly, shrugged. "I'm just – tired." He sagged at the truth of it, dismissing the strange occurrence from his mind. Again, this was all just – exhaustion playing tricks. His frazzled brain was breaking down with the continued abuse. He just – fucking damn it, he needed to sleep. Axel reached out with a free finger, poked it into the blond's elbow, steering him easily over towards the stone bench. They sat, legs stretching out automatically. Axel piled the foodstuff between them and leaned his elbows on his knees with a deep breath. He ran his fingers briefly through his hair, a sharp motion, scratching his nails along his scalp. He gave a short laugh. "We're becoming nocturnal or something, huh?"
"Against our wills," Roxas murmured. Axel grunted his heartfelt agreement, making the teen glance over regretfully. "This is all my fault, I'm sor – "
"Shut the fuck up," the redhead scoffed, glancing over with affection. "Are you going to eat, or do I have to stuff myself so we don't get told off for wasting?" He dug through the pile, pulled out a soda. "I know you don't drink these – your teeth and all – but these things are packed with sugar and caffeine and all sorts of awesome nasty shit." He tapped the can against his brow. "Plus, it's icy cold. Figured it'd cool you down a little." He reached out with the hand not being chilled and pressed it against the skin of his forehead, his cheek. "Hm. Tell me if you start feeling bad. We can get something from Aerith. There's an infirmary near the greenhouse like a little drugstore. There's all sorts of stuff for this kind of thing."
Roxas nodded, taking the drink and popping it open, running his finger around the sharp edge for a moment, before bringing the cold aluminium to his lips and swallowing the beverage down. Licking his lips, he asked quietly, "Anything for tranquilising? Sleeping pills, something like that?"
Axel hesitated. "…Maybe. Probably. Yeah. But – I don't think that' s going to help you."
Roxas shrugged, took another mouthful. "The night before last, Aerith gave me a couple of the painkillers from the hospital, I slept all the way through. She hasn't given me any more, though. I wish she had."
The redhead fidgeted. "Yeah… that was me." Roxas looked up sharply.
"Beg pardon?"
Axel squirmed a little. "I told her – not to give you any more pills. They're – not good for you, Rox. Not when you need them."
"Isn't that the fucking point?" the blond demanded, irate at the thought of the peaceful night he could have had instead of the trauma they'd both suffered. "I take them, they send me to fucking sleep – everybody's happy."
"No. They're not. I'm not." He sighed, running his tongue absently along the condensation developing along the curve of his own soda. "Among the other shit I used to do, I kind of got a little too dependent on things like that, Rox. Anything for sleep, right? You try watching images of your parents saying goodnight to your happy kid sister, and your love obsession fall asleep in his warm little single bed, and suddenly it gets kind of hard to do it yourself, because – all you can think of is everything you're missing. It's hard to sleep when you're hurting." He pressed the can against his forehead, frowning. "Dem got me out of it. Dobbed me in to Aerith, she got DiZ on my case, and I spent a fun two months hating both their guts and suffering insomnia. After that, I learned to sleep properly, and everything was fine." He pulled his head up, cracking open the top of the drink, fixing Roxas with a hard, determined look. "But there's no way in hell I'm letting it happen to you. That was a crappy episode of my life, and I'm not gonna be a spectator any more than I'm ever going to be the one doing it again. So, no pills. I told Aerith, she agreed. She's got non-drowsy's if you're in pain, but other than that, you're on your own."
Roxas glared. "I really want to call you an asshole." Axel shrugged, gulping down bubbles.
"Can if you want."
"No, I can't," the blond muttered, slouching back, resting the can against his chest. "Asshole."
Axel laughed a little, sending him an amused sidelong look. "Is that because I cut you off from your evil budding drug habit, or because my reasoning's too damn good to argue with?"
"Latter. Asshole." He shook his head. "Why don't you ever tell me this stuff?"
Axel shrugged, wiping a finger across his bottom lip. "I just did, Rox. What do you want me to do, write an anthology of my life and hand it over for you to read over the summer?"
"It'd help," the teen nodded, grimacing ruefully. "I forget sometimes that we're still getting to know each other."
"Ah, it's all part of the mystery and fun of looove," Axel said, making a stupid face and waving his hands, managing to slosh sticky soda over his hand and thigh. "Aw, fuck," he muttered, pausing to wipe it. He transferred the drink to his other hand, considered how best to clean the mess on his skin – wipe or shake? – before deciding to lick it clean. Roxas' eyes narrowed as he saw the man's intention, watched Axel lap a couple of times, before sitting forward sharply and grabbing his wrist. Axel paused, tongue out like a cat, blinking in surprise at him. A small smile touching his lips, Roxas murmured, "Let me."
"Huh?" Axel hitched in a breath, eyes widening enormously as the blond brought the hand up to his mouth and started sucking and licking at the adhering stain. His brow creased in concentration, Roxas focused on the minute cracks and creases in the flesh, seeking every vein of brown and laving it away, the taste faint, mingled with the inherent saltiness of Axel's skin. At last, when everything seemed clean again, Axel's hand shining from its impromptu bath, Roxas fastened his lips around the area and sucked one last time, noisily, lips smacking as he drew away. He gave it a final lick for good measure, slow and deliberate, eyes rising at last to meet the green, a slight heat of blush in his cheeks. The boldness of it startled them both, really, but Roxas was feeling bolder. Without a fear of rejection, he felt he could do almost anything to the man – and it would be well received. Some small, mischievous section of his mind looked forward to the fun of discovering what limits, if any, the redhead would set as to how far he could go.
He released Axel's wrist, licking his lips unconsciously, the flavour lingering. Axel stared, saucer-eyed, breathless for a long moment. At last he gasped, "Fuck." A slight pause, then an afterthought of, "Fuck." He blinked rapidly at the tiny smile of satisfaction on the blond's mouth, lifted his knee. "Gonna suck my jeans? I'll love you forever if you do."
"You'll love me forever anyway," Roxas murmured, lips twitching, glancing away as he lifted the soda and took a delicate sip. Axel gaped.
"Told you you were a fucking tease," he stated, almost awed. "I knew it. I've saddled myself with the sexiest fucking tease in the world. God damn it." Roxas lifted his can high, squinting at it in the faint backwash of light spilling from within the castle. He turned, took Axel's hand gently, held it out over the grass, and dribbled the dark, bubbling beverage over the man's partially outstretched fingers. Axel's eyes, wide before, nearly popped from their sockets, breaths coming hard and fast. "Oh, sh-shit," he stuttered, as Roxas calmly brought the first of the fingers to his mouth and began to suck it clean. As it slid free after several seconds, he said casually, "You know, I've always liked soda – I just hate that it causes cavities. The taste, however…" He moved onto the second finger, took the knuckle in his mouth, curled his tongue around it and drew it down the length of the bone. Axel's other hand, on his knee, formed a tight fist, beating his thigh with a sharp thud, just once, breaths panting in the silence broken only by the wet noises coming from Roxas' thoughtful administration. His heels dug into the ground as he squirmed suddenly. "Ro-xas, I, I don't think, I think, I…" Roxas lifted his face innocently.
"Yes?"
Desperately, the man said, "You're making me wanna – throw you up against a wall. But – but I don't want that – I want – I want – "
"What do you want?" the blond asked quietly, voice utterly free of eroticism, yet somehow managing to make Axel squeeze his eyes shut, biting his lip painfully.
"I don't really know," he said, voice higher than usual. "But, but, if you keep this up, I don't know what's gonna happen." His eyelids popped up, he asked anxiously, "Why are you doing this?"
Roxas tilted his head to the side. "Because…"
Axel's eyes searched his. "Yes?"
"…I like soda."
The redhead choked, gasped, spluttered out a hysterical laugh. It cut off into a low, distressed moan as Roxas returned his mouth to the site of the deliberate spill. This time, the blond moved more quickly, efficiently cleaning away the last of the drink, listening to the coughs and jumps in Axel's inhalations. When he at last released the man, Axel was a nervous wreck. His fingers itched to grab the teen and do away with whatever romantic little ideas he'd formed in the several years of his intense infatuation, but – but –
"I love you," Roxas murmured, eyes averted, before picking up a thick muesli cake-like concoction of Aerith's and quietly beginning to eat. Dazedly, Axel mimicked the action, reaching between them with a spit-shining hand and grabbing up one of the bars. There was silence as they ate. The redhead felt like he'd been smacked with a plank of wood, repeatedly, with possible brain damage as a result. The muesli crumbled dryly in his mouth, making him choke a little. At last, he couldn't take anymore. He gulped it down with soda, tossing the remainder of the bar into the long grass, his eyes fixed wildly on Roxas. He gasped in as he drew the can away, cleared his throat with his knuckles to his lips – the knuckles the blond had just been sucking on. It took – every inch of his willpower to not lick the area. Then again, maybe he should have. Show him what it was like to be teased! …Or not, because fuck, this was getting out of hand. He was trying to ignore the hardness in his jeans, all caused by the little minx calmly eating his little cake thing as if he didn't have a care in the world. "So unfair," he muttered. Roxas shot him a look.
"You're the one that protested," he shrugged. "If you don't want me…"
Axel growled low in his throat, eyes like slits. "You know I do. You're being a goddamn cock-tease, and you know it."
Golden eyebrows twitched up slightly. "Am I?"
"Yes," replied Axel defiantly. Roxas considered, shrugged again, placed down the end of the cake and licked his lips, standing. The redhead's eyes jumped wide with panic, which became that same desperate surprise when the boy turned and sat again, straddling his hips, knees digging into the stone bench. He shifted to get comfortable, making Axel grunt, eyes rolling back slightly. "So, I'm a tease, am I?" Roxas asked mildly, winding his arms around the man's neck. He leaned forward, with muesli still on his tongue, and licked a long trail up Axel's neck, making him shudder, biting back a whimper. Roxas pulled back, frowned and said, "Fuck," at the little grains of food left behind. He darted in and lapped each piece off the redhead's skin, swallowing forcefully to rid his mouth of any extra, before straightening and looking him in the eye.
Axel kept his head in its awkward position from where he'd unconsciously leaned it back to allow better access to the blond, one eye cracked open, the other sealed shut, breaths coming hard. "What – exactly – are you planning with this?" he asked hoarsely. "I mean, are you trying to make me take you somewhere dark and fuck you, or what?"
Roxas shuddered slightly. "Huh. And you say I talk dirty." He shook his head. "Why are you over-thinking this? I'm just doing what feels right, and you keep talking." He pursed his lips. "Why can't you just keep your mouth shut and enjoy for once?"
Axel gave a half-hysterical, breathy laugh. "Because you have – no idea what you're doing. You don't even – even know what you're doing to me."
Roxas' eyes darkened. "I have an idea." Axel's breath caught, eyes meeting the blond's, a long, silent moment passing.
"No shit?"
"No shit."
"You're – trying to seduce me in a garden, Roxas."
The blond adjusted his position, leaning forward, pressing down on the erection he could feel in Axel's jeans, the man's head thrusting back without thought and cracking into the wall. He winced in sympathy as Axel's mouth flew open, a low groan of pain whispering out. He kissed the man slowly, dragging his tongue with taunting familiarity along the roof of his mouth. The redhead lay almost inert against the crumbling, leafy wall, eyes squeezing shut, doing as Roxas had commanded and just enjoying, trying to not think, trying to keep his alarm at bay. When at last Roxas pulled back, hands pressing against his chest, the short blond said quietly, "Maybe – but it's not like our room is that far off."
"You mean Demyx's room?" the man blurted incredulously. "I can't fucking make love to you in Demyx's room. That's gross! I have enough difficulty pretending not to see the cum-stains on the mattress whenever Aerith's changing the sheets!" His tone turned pleading. "Where's this even coming from?"
Roxas drew back, fixing him with a wry look. "Axel. I'm an eighteen-year-old virgin. That's not fun. You're my boyfriend, I love you, you love me, and you're turning me on because I'm fucking exhausted and right now nothing seems better than us being together."
"You want me because you're sleepy? What am I, a distraction tactic?"
"No."
"You know, sex will send you to sleep," Axel warned. Roxas' eyes narrowed.
"Why are you arguing so much against this?" He shifted deliberately, emphasising Axel's problematic hard-on. "You've spent all this time trying to molest me, since the day you met me virtually, so what's with the coy act all of a sudden?"
"What's with the whore act all of a sudden?" the man countered, then gritted his teeth and hunched his shoulders. "I take it back," he said quickly. "I take it back, I take it back."
Roxas, who had gone still, said, with an edge, "Okay, explain this to me. I know there's something going on in that hollow space you call a head, and I want to know what it is."
"I just – " Axel lifted his eyes to the stars, as if seeking escape, but pinned down as he was, there was nowhere he was going until Roxas was satisfied – one way or another. "I mean…" He looked at the blond fretfully. "Haven't you ever wanted something – really wanted something, with… with your whole being… and imagined what it would be like when you finally had it?" As Roxas opened his mouth, irritation plain on his face, Axel swiftly cut him off, saying, "I'm not trying to act out a fantasy, Rox, I'm not trying to make it like it was in my head, but – but I want it to be…" He swallowed, almost bewildered at his own reluctance. "I don't want your first time to be in some dark little garden. I don't want my first time with you to be some rush-fuck against any upright surface just because – just because we're horny." He held up his hands in a reasoning fashion. "Now – now I have nothing against a horny Axel's Roxie, nothing at all, believe me, but – can't we just…? Can't we make it proper or something?" Seeing Roxas beginning to sway, he hesitated, adding, "I don't want to – put you off or anything, Rox, but, I mean, if you're wanting honesty – I mean…" He laughed shortly, eyes begging for understanding. "I've kind of had my share of quick fucks. I got tired of that a long time ago. It'll be different with you, no doubt about that at all, but I'm kind of – I want this to be nice is all."
Roxas lowered his chin onto his palms, elbows on the man's chest, frowning a little. "That night in the shower – how far were you willing to go? Because I seem to remember saying practically the same sort of thing then."
"Well… I was kind of going to… suck you off?" he said weakly. "But – it wasn't my plan to grab your virginity and go running off into the night."
Roxas took a deep breath, eyes lifting as he processed this with a heating of cheeks. "Right. Okay. So then – you're serious about this." Axel nodded frantically. Roxas pursed his mouth, one eyebrow lowering. "Okay, then. I've got a shift with Sora tonight, right?"
Axel blinked at the apparent change of subject. "Uh – yes?"
"Soon?"
Axel struggled to think. "Yes. Soon."
Roxas poked him in the chest, saying seriously, "While I'm gone, you're going to find a room for us to move into. I don't care where it is, as long as we don't have to sleep on their cum-stains anymore – I didn't even know that was there." His lips curled into a small smile. "We can continue this conversation closer to morning, maybe. It's about time I had my own room anyway."
Axel nodded, teeth clicking together. "O-okay, sure, no problem." Roxas took pity on his breathless confusion, bent in and placed a soft kiss on his lips.
"I want to make you happy," he murmured. Axel blinked into his eyes.
"You – you already have."
"I want to make you happier," Roxas said thickly, staring at his mouth through half-lidded eyes, making the man's jaw clench.
"Right. Okay." The blond's arms wound around his ribcage, and he snuggled down into the warm curve of his chest. Axel gazed at the sky, in a haze of bewilderment and denied lust. "Are – are you still hungry?"
Roxas shook his head, nose bumping his sternum. "Mm-mm. Just sleepy." Axel nodded though the teen couldn't see him, lifting a hand to run absently up and down his spine. Wary of falling asleep, Roxas opened his eyes, feeling the gummy pull as his lashes separated. There was a flash of flickering blue in the corner of his eye, making him stiffen, twisting his head slightly. Axel, not noticing anything amiss, continued to stroke him. Roxas sighed, feeling his mind return from his body thread by thread, and wished the night was already over. A fresh bed with Axel was too tempting for words, the opportunity to finally be together, the pleasure it would be to just sleep in his arms… Roxas craved it, craved the peace, simplicity, and happiness of it all. He'd come a long way from his initial introduction to Hollow Bastion, ideas shifting in his mind to form this slightly newer version of himself, but there was even longer still until morning.
He wished the burgeoning hallucinations would stop.
