How Deep Is Your Love

Chapter Nineteen

Emma opened the door to Killian's room and stepped inside, but she froze in the doorway upon seeing him lying so still while hooked up to the machines that surrounded him, with a tube running beneath his nose to help him breathe easier. His left arm was bound in a sling to help prevent him from moving his arm once he woke up so that the claw wounds in his shoulder would heal faster. Beneath the blankets that were draped over him to help warm his body, his chest, stomach, and wounded leg were wrapped in bandages. Seeing the man she had come to care about very deeply in this condition was disconcerting to say the least.

The Savior cautiously walked towards him as though she expected Hook to bolt up out of bed any moment, or for the Snow Queen to suddenly appear to attack them again. She knew it was just her fear in overdrive that made her feel so uneasy, but it didn't necessarily mean either possibility couldn't happen either.

When she finally got up the nerve to speak as she made her way around the side of his bed, Emma reached out to caress Killian's cheek gently while she whispered fearfully, "I'm so sorry, Killian. If I hadn't have believed… I wish that a simple apology was enough, but I know that it isn't. It hardly begins to make up for anything. This shouldn't have happened and I promise that I'm going to do whatever I can to…"

Emma cut herself off when she realized that she was rambling on to someone unconscious and most likely unable to even hear a word she was trying to say, then she thought for a moment before she continued quietly, "I need you to keep to your promise to me, to be a survivor. Because I can't lose you. As for whatever the Snow Queen whispered in your ear, don't you dare listen to her. She's lying, or she's wrong. If only you could find some way of letting me know that you're hearing me."

"Mom just caught us up on your plan to use your powers to try to look inside Hook's mind," Henry said as he entered the room again a few minutes behind his birth mother. "It's a good plan and maybe you can get a message to him too."

"I can't control my powers like that," she replied with disbelief. "I don't even know if I have the power to enter Hook's mind to read his thoughts, let alone to try to get a message to him. I could just make things worse for him. He doesn't need that. Not after everything I've done to hurt him."

Her son shook his head as he retorted, "You didn't do anything to him, Mom."

Both of her parents walked into the room as well and then Mary Margaret stated, "You didn't trust he would never do the things the Snow Queen made you believe he did, but it wasn't because you didn't trust Hook. It was because you didn't trust yourself. You've been worried to break into a new relationship with him because of your past experiences with… love. You've made a habit of believing that you can't have love for so long that a small part of you will look for any reason to push love away when you find it."

"You know, we really don't have time to talk about my love life again," Emma answered in frustration when she looked between them. "The only way that I'm going to feel any better about failing Hook, is to hear it from him himself. And seeing as that won't be happening any time soon, if at all… Can we just get back to business? Alright I'll do it, or I'll try to do it. For the record, I don't like this. Entering Killian's mind without permission is wrong."

"If this helps to save him, then I'm sure he'll be grateful you were willing to," David responded.

Emma pulled Killian's only hand into hers and gently laid her free hand along the side of his head as she stared sadly at his slackened face until she finally closed her eyes in order to try to concentrate, then struggled against the strain she immediately felt as she forced her way inside Killian's mind.

The first of Hook's memories Emma came upon was when they were trapped with her parents' past while at the royal ball as she and Killian first walked inside and Emma spoke up saying, "Mary Margaret and David are always going on about this ball and that ball… What's the big deal about these things?"

She watched as her past self in this moment froze upon seeing and watching the dancers in amazement when the crowds surrounding them parted, then Hook leaned in closer to her while he whispered, "You were saying?"

"What am I supposed to do?" Emma asked again as she continued to stare at them worryingly.

"Blend in," Killian replied as he smiled and then gently took her hand in his own before leading her onto the dance floor.

Emma allowed herself to be led by him, then she looked at him quizzically while she questioned, "Wait, are you saying you know how to do whatever this is?"

Hook readjusted her hands, especially the one that rested over his fake hand, then he looked into her eyes and he answered, "It's called a waltz. There's only one rule… Pick a partner who knows what he's doing."

"Watch the mocking," the Savior stated, having danced for some time as Killian kept his eyes on hers and smiled. "I'm actually getting the hang of this."

"I'm not mocking you, Swan," he responded while the music and dance continued. "I'm just thinking about what you said in Storybrooke, about not being a princess."

She looked at him with surprise as she replied, "Really? You get my first real dance and my first royal ball and all you can say is I told you so?"

Killian watched as she twirled around him while he knelt on the floor, then stood again and bowed to her while he answered sincerely, "I believe what I'm trying to say, Your Highness… is that you appear to be a natural."

As much as Emma would have loved to keep watching this memory unfold, she finally pushed it aside and struggled to break further into his head in search for something that might help them in their fight against the Snow Queen. For a second, she thought she caught hold of one until it swiftly disappeared when another memory shared between Killian and her father arose in its place.

"You're exited for your nuptials?" Emma heard Killian ask David while they were sitting in front of a campfire within the Enchanted Forest, and she realized this must have been one of his memories from when he attempted to rescue her from the Evil Queen's prison on the night after the ball, as he was still dressed in the clothes Rumpelstiltskin had dressed him in.

"I'm marrying Midas' daughter," Charming responded with disdain in his voice. "What's not to be excited about?"

Hook looked over at the Prince as he thought for a moment and then replied, "I don't mean to pry, mate, but you don't exactly look like a man who's doing this by choice. Mm?"

Her father sighed and shook his head slightly as he answered, "I always thought I'd marry for love. And here I am about to enter into what amounts to a… business transaction. A merger of two kingdoms."

"I don't know this whole ordeal makes me wonder if there's even such a thing as true love," David continued after he inhaled deeply while Killian listened to the Prince speak.

"I once felt as you did, mate," Hook said with sincerity while he raised his hand from beneath is chin and attempted to reassure his friend he would soon find that kind of love without revealing anything about what he hoped would be David's future with Snow White, despite the fact that the Prince didn't even know him. "All it took was meeting the right person and everything changed."

The Prince turned back to the man sitting beside him as he spoke again asking, "Princess Leia? The one we're rescuing?"

Killian looked forward as he responded with truth, though apprehensively, "Aye. I'd to go to the end of the world for her… or time."

"And she for you, I take it?" Charming questioned once more.

"I don't know," the pirate replied as he chuckled and shook his head in doubt.

David leaned back on the log he was sitting on, letting his legs out in front of him and then he continued, "What's the problem?"

Hook answered disdainfully, "There are many complications."

"Family?" Emma's father scoffed. "Because my father is making things quite difficult for me."

"Aye," Killian responded subtly. "There's that. I'm not so sure her parents approve of me."

The Prince thought while he tried to reassure the man beside him as well by saying truthfully, "Given the length you've gone to save her, they'd be crazy not to."

Hook smiled, as Emma knew that he was remembering how difficult it's been for him to convince David in their own time that he was worthy of being with his daughter and then he stated, "I hope you remember that."

A tear slipped down her cheek as she watched the scene play out until it ended, then she pushed her own thoughts aside once more to continue to try to find the memories she was still searching for. Sifting through Killian's memories was even more difficult than she even imagined it would be.

"Please, Killian," Emma whispered sadly as her grip on his hand tightened. "Please help me find what I need so that I can make you alright."

"I'm here, Swan," Killian said weakly.