CHAPTER FORTY-ONE
Leon hated this place. Too often in his life, he'd found himself and the people he cared about within these sanitised walls. He was sick of the plastic chairs, the unforgivably shitty coffee, the whisper of rubber soles along the shining floors. He hated the stench of disinfectant trying to overwhelm the vomit, the faeces, the sweat and blood.
He sighed, head in hands, struggling to stay awake. Cloud had passed out on the way to the hospital, halfway through an emergency blood transfusion. It was an hour past midday, and though he was out of intensive care, vital statistics healthier than expected, the blond had yet to open his eyes. Leon had been bidden to be patient, by four separate people now. He was idly toying with the idea of punching the next platitude-spouter into a bloody pulp, but doubted Aerith would approve. He wondered what his chances were of threatening the victim into silence.
Too often, Leon's fingertips found the line of scar tissue spanning his face, tracing along slowly – a reminder of his own distant stay here. Cloud's scar would stretch along his waist, almost perfectly nestled on the milky skin under his ribs. Sora, in a room further down the hall, would forever have a puncture mark decorating his right collar, and Axel… From what they'd said, he'd be lucky to ever be able to walk without some kind of aid again. For now, wheelchairs were being mentioned. Future predictions had the redhead hobbling around with a cane. That would come after the A-frame.
He had only recently come out of surgery, had been moved straight into a private room. The nurses had been warned about the circumstances surrounding the injury, and had tranquilisers at the ready for when he roused. The worst thing for him now would be uncontrolled hysteria – stiches, shock, fever from infection, any one of those factors was bad enough without being further compounded by the emotional wreck the man had become.
It had been Demyx that found him, eyes rolling, voice nearly gone, lying naked in an endless pool of his own blood. It had been a near thing, Leon had been informed. The night just passed had been the closest Axel had ever come to just up and dying, and it had been done by…
"Roxas! Where's Roxas? Please! PLEASE!"
"Axel, who did this to you? Where's Roxas?"
"PLEASE! YOU HAVE TO FIND HIM! HE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING!"
Roxas had been nowhere to be found – neither he, nor the keyblade that had caused the damage. Leon doubted he could ever be forgiven for returning the blades into Axel's care, knowing his intention to pass them on to the blond. The thoughtless incompetence was breathtaking. It made a scream build in his chest, festering due to its trapped quality.
His head throbbed, eyes stinging with dryness. The daylight entering Cloud's room was almost soothing – not entirely, but the confirmation that the endless night was over was a dizzying relief. He raised his gaze to the blond, willing him tiredly to wake. Leon couldn't sleep until he was certain he'd end up seeing sky-blue eyes again.
The door creaked open, Demyx peering through uncertainly. "Leon?" The brunet grunted, fingers over his lips, chin propped on palm, barely glancing over, fighting irritation at the intrusion. It was times like this that he would happily give up the mantle of leadership, to just be allowed to wallow in whatever dark place he desired, without responsibilities to others. But – he was the head of the Committee. And with Sora out of commission, and Luxord working feverishly with the leftover scraps of the technician force back at the castle, he was the only point of authority around. He drew a deep breath, scraping a callused hand through his messy, shaggy hair. "Yeah?" he asked, attempting interest. "I don't want more coffee, if you're offering." Demyx hesitated, shook his head. His fingers were tight around the door, an anxious expression in place. Leon went still. "Is it Axel?" he asked in a low voice. The blond sitarist had refused to leave the redhead the entire time since discovering him. Usually joined at the hip to Zexion, he looked strange and lonely hanging about in the halls, too agitated to sit and wait for Axel to waken after surgery.
He blinked, features easing slightly. "No, no – he's fine. He's doing fine. It's just – "
Again, the hesitation. Leon scrubbed at his cheeks impatiently. "Demyx, please."
"There's – someone you need to meet."
Leon rested his face on his knuckles, tipped on its side, eyes hollow and wearily dark. "Is it important? Really important?" He didn't want to have to leave Cloud, was scared of what he might miss if he did.
Demyx sucked his bottom lip, nodded shortly. "Really."
The brunet sighed, bit back a groan, glancing over at Cloud as he gathered his strength and rose a moment later. Don't go anywhere. He met the blond at the door, Demyx pushing away and setting off down the hall. "She just – she came out of nowhere," he muttered. Leon frowned.
"'She'?"
They entered the waiting room, where Riku stood, surprisingly, considering he'd spent every moment at Sora's bedside since the boy had exited the operating theatre. Leon spied a Styrofoam cup of the hospital's favoured caffeinated poison clutched crushingly in his fingers, the lid half off, an explanation to his presence – but the woman he was glaring at was a mystery. That is, until Leon noticed the rabbit-like ears that rose from her skull, a moment's blank staring confirming that they were, in fact, real. "Viera," he realised. Comprehension struck, his expression turning blackly thunderous, withering only as she turned, upon hearing the utterance, to glare coldly at him. Her face was a bruised, swollen mess, plasters and bandages covering majority of her jaw. "You are the one in charge here?" she asked, words garbled by the damage, thick, hoarse. Leon's eyes narrowed.
"Of what?"
She flicked a hand impatiently, ears twitching forward. "These children are calling you their leader. They believed you would be…" She had to pause and swallow, obviously having difficulty with her speech. Leon had to concentrate to understand her. "You would be interested," she concluded, with a husky rasp at the back of her throat. "I have information."
"Leon – " Riku's voice burned. " – she's the one that shot them!" His eyes glittered dangerously as they turned to meet him. It was as though he was asking permission to repay the pain she had caused, the fear. Leon was hard-pressed to not agree, and simply return to his vigil. Demyx desperately interjected, "Please, Leon, listen to what she has to say!"
Leon grunted angrily. "Why should I care?"
"Vaan is dying," she said sharply, forcing clarity into each word. The man halted, eyes widening minutely.
"Vaan's here?"
She inclined her head. "He has been shot. He cannot be saved."
Leon glared, heart hardening. "A pirate's fate."
"No," she said, shifting on the spot, arms folding delicately over her stomach. "We were attacked by a madman." A brief pause, then, "He took the boy called Roxas."
"Roxas?!" All three voices shouted at once, earning a scowl from a passing orderly. Demyx leapt forward, seizing the woman, who hissed and pulled free. "What about Roxas? Where did you see Roxas?" he demanded.
"More importantly," snapped Riku, "who took him? A madman took him?"
Leon grabbed her elbow, grip painfully tight, though she seemed to refuse to wince. She met his glare defiantly. "You need to tell me," he said silkily, "exactly what you know."
"I will tell you nothing," she retorted icily. Riku audibly growled, as Leon's breath hissed through his teeth, nails digging deep into her flesh. She then added, "I have no allegiance to your people. But Vaan does. He will tell you what you wish to know." The brunet hesitated. She reached over, unhooking his fingers one by one. "I advise you go see him, and try to keep your animosity to a minimum. He is the only one that cares enough to enlighten you about what happened last night." Her eyes flashed. "Do not tell the authorities about us, I warn you. Balthier and I will be leaving shortly, and we will not return to Hollow Bastion out of respect. Vaan is your responsibility now."
"Which room?" Demyx demanded.
She tossed her head slightly. "Third door on your right."
"I'llgo," Leon cut in, holding the boy back as he instantly surged forth. Demyx glared.
"Why? I can do it! I want to know where Roxie is!"
"Demyx, let me. This isn't a job for you to do. It's my responsibility."
The blond wrung his hands in distress, capitulating quickly in favour of finding out sooner. "Please-please-please find out where Roxie is. Please, Leon."
He nodded briefly. "I'll see what I can do." He glanced at the viera. "Third on the right?"
She confirmed with a slight motion of the head. As he set off, she accompanied him. They arrived, and she promptly ignored him, entering the room across the hall from Vaan's, not even glancing back. A tired voice greeted, "Hello, darling. How's things?"
"Fine," she responded shortly, closing the door behind her, leaving Leon by himself. The man stared after her for a minute, before twisting slowly to gaze at the door supposedly leading to Vaan's room. Frustration and concern warred within him, anger, outrage, all blanketed thickly by overwhelming fatigue. He drew a breath, grinding the heel of his palm into his forehead, eyes closing for a moment. Roxas. Knowing that Demyx wouldn't rest until he found some answers, Leon reached out, hand upon the doorknob, and twisted, entering the dim interior.
Aerith was there, weeping quietly. The curtains had been firmly drawn, darkness filling the room. He paused, frozen in place, not sure how to proceed. It occurred to him that, for all he'd done to cut himself off entirely from them all, Vaan was still an original member of the Hollow Bastion group. He had been with them for years now, had worked hard, had thrown it away to gallivant with thieves, but couldn't quite be so easily unhooked from their hearts. The greatest sting of his betrayal, after all, had been his blatant rejection of all the years of camaraderie. Sadness touched Leon without warning, upon seeing the huddle in the bed, connected to beeping machines, none of them bothering to try and preserve him, just... monitoring. Biding time. Vaan was dying.
"Aerith." His voice was low. The woman looked up from her bedside position, tear-streaked, startled. He frowned. "How did you know he was here? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I - I overheard the nurses…"
"It's my fault," Vaan said, tone thin and reedy. There was a thick vein of hopelessness running through it, evident even in those three words. "I told her to stay. Fran said she'd go get you." His head turned on the pillow, eyes paler than Leon remembered. "How's Axel doing?"
Leon eyed him uncertainly. "He's alive. He'll have trouble getting around for a while."
"I mean… mentally. Emotionally. Has he gone crazy yet?"
"Why would he do that?" the man asked flatly.
Calmly, the teen replied, "Because it was Roxas that hurt him. Roxas told me. Or – Jenova did."
Leon sighed, resting his head against the doorframe. "Aerith, you should go. I need to talk to Vaan."
"I want to stay," the woman stated firmly, banishing the tears from her voice. Vaan took her hand, which rested on the bed, and patted it with a weak sigh.
"Seriously, Aerith, you're way too loyal. I appreciate it, but I'm not going anywhere just yet – you can come back when we're done." She scowled, first at him, then at Leon. The man met her gaze heavily, placid. She studied him for a suspicious moment.
"Be nice," she said briefly, an element of pleading in there somewhere. Leon nodded. She took a shuddering breath, smiled tightly for Vaan's benefit, touching a hand to his face. His eyes slipped shut. Aerith stood and walked around the bed, brushing past Leon, the light from the hall illuminating her puffy skin. She'd had too much to worry about lately, too many people to visit down here – lines were forming in her forehead. Leon regretted them. He closed the door as her footsteps tapped away, leaned against it. A small silence developed, broken by Vaan quietly saying, "I won't apologise."
He grimaced, hardly surprised. "…Not even for Cloud and Sora?"
There was a slight pause. "That was different. They attacked Fran first."
"Because it's their job to do so," Leon said sharply, neck stiffening. "Because they were trying to protect the core."
"They didn't even know that's what she was there for," Vaan argued. "They just – " He cut himself off with a growl of frustration. "That doesn't even matter anymore." A familiar spark entered his eyes. "Do you want to know about Roxas or not?"
Leon studied him. "For someone supposedly on his deathbed, you sure are lively."
"Well, I am," the teen snapped back, voice cracking slightly. "I can't move my legs, asshole. I can't even sit up. I was shot at short fucking range – I'm dying."
Leon was quiet for a moment. "There's nothing they can do?"
Vaan sighed, a ragged sound, anger subsiding. "They tried, but – I'm just – I'm too messed up. I can't even… feel anything." He closed his eyes. "Pretty soon, Aerith will have to go, anyway. I'll fall asleep eventually, and won't wake up. That's what they told me." He gave a short laugh, asked with a brittle edge, "Have you ever been as fucking terrified of sleep as I am right now?"
Leon had been pining for it for hours. "No." His shoulders sagged a little, as he reached up to touch his scar. "Tell me about Roxas."
Vaan relaxed, eyes slipping shut now that they were onto firmer ground. He swallowed, throat bobbing. "You know the sleep-walking?"
"Yes…"
"It's not sleep-walking. At least – not anymore." His eyes flashed open, shining in the darkness. "I don't know if he ever was. It's his programming, Leon – it's still in there. Jenova's controlling him somehow."
"…Jenova. As in, the core?" He lifted a brow at the boy, assessing his verity.
"That's what I said," Vaan confirmed on a breath. "The core. At first I thought Roxas was just crazy, but then I realised – it's Jenova. She's in his head somehow, in the programming that never ended up burning away… It's my fault," he admitted bluntly, without any obvious glimmer of remorse. "The virus I used on the system affected him while he was in there. When he came out, it must've stopped things from functioning properly during the burn-out process." Leon's eyes narrowed as he tried to understand. Vaan elaborated, "I should have realised things were wrong. I found him in the system one night. Obviously he wasn't there, but… part of him was. Whatever programming is still there has been keeping a link open with the mainframe. Projecting his thoughts there. I just figured at the time it was a hiccup occurring in the system, but now… Yeah. I think part of his mind was inside the computer. Just like part of Jenova's mind is inside him – she seems more sentient while she's with him."
Leon wished Sora was here to further make sense of this, at least be able to cross-examine the boy in more detail, because at the moment, taking things at face-value was both confusing and frustrating. He couldn't understand how this was possible, yet Vaan, though faintly incredulous of it all, was obviously convinced of his theory. "When did you see Roxas? The viera said he'd been taken by a madman." His eyes lowered to the lump of his body beneath the blanket, looking deceptively whole. "The same man that shot you."
Vaan nodded weakly. "Sephiroth." Leon twitched.
"Impossible."
The white-blond boy huffed thinly. "I know. But he thought he was. Or said he was. Either way, it's the same guy that came to the castle. He took Roxas. And Roxas has the core." He shrugged a little, awkwardly, a bitter smile hovering near his lips. "That either makes things really easy on you, or really fucking hard. It's all in the one place, Leon. Now you've just gotta find where, and all your problems are solved."
"All of them?" Leon shook his head gloomily. He crossed his arms, leaning against the wall abruptly, head sinking. "What the hell got you here, Vaan?"
"Life's a bitch, and then you die." Leon's eyes cut up sharply, bristling at the flippant attitude, and stopped. There was – nothing on the boy's face. A study in blankness. He meant each and every word. "We were at the airship terminal when it happened," he said dully. "Getting ready to leave with the first wave of outgoing traffic." The smile again, twisting. "Don't waste too much sympathy on me. Like I said, I'm not sorry."
Leon stared for a long moment, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest under the white blankets. "Any idea where they were going?"
"None." He pursed his lips. "You now know what I know. Except – " He shifted his head, twisting it around slightly to better look at the man. "It really wasn't Roxas that hurt Axel. Aerith told me the details - it fits. Jenova said she incapacitated him, so he wouldn't follow when they left."
"They?"
Vaan's expression flattened slightly "Roxas is still in there. He was crying in the back of his own skull." He shrugged carelessly. "I felt bad, but not bad enough to want to let him leave. We were going to take him with us. I guess that the Sephiroth guy kind of saved him, in a twisted, not-helpful way."
Leon snorted slightly, bumping away from the wall. "For someone who isn't sorry, you're making an awful lot of confessions. Sounds like your conscience talking."
"It's either you or Aerith," Vaan responded flatly. "And… I'd rather not have to face anymore of her disappointment in this lifetime, short as it's going to last." He turned slowly, to stare at the ceiling. "So… you should go figure out what to do, now. That's your job, right? Go find Roxas. Make it quick, he was pretty messed-up when I saw him. Jenova doesn't know how to handle a human-fucking-body… Decide yourself if Axel should know."
Leon hesitated, hands dropping to his sides, weight shifting from one leg to the next, boots creaking slightly. There was a sense of finality to the teen's words. It seemed the conversation was over. He took a breath. "Vaan… I apologise. I know I'm not in charge of you guys, but – I wish I'd seen how desperate you were. I'm sorry that no one saw." He grimaced. "You don't deserve this."
Vaan's gaze narrowed, not lowering from the roof. "It was my choice, right?" He closed his eyes. "Would you mind sending Aerith back in, when you go? It's… nice. She still cares." Leon nodded slightly, turned after a long moment, went to the door. "I'm… too tired," Vaan whispered suddenly, a shake in his words. "Get Aerith… to bring me some coffee."
Leon's knuckles whitened as he twisted the handle, stepping out into the hall. He returned to the waiting room. The flower-woman was there with Demyx. Riku had apparently gone back to Sora. Neither of them noticed him enter – Demyx had his arms around the woman's body as she quietly sobbed into a tissue. Feeling a twist in his chest, short of breath, neck prickling, Leon continued on. He trudged to the coffee machine and paid for two cups, watched the sludgy stuff shoot down, scalding hot and strong enough to peel paint. He piled sugar into each, securing the lids, and backtracked. He approached the pair, fought a flinch at Aerith's blotchy face. It just – it wasn't – Aerith. She didn't look like the calm, natural mother anymore. She looked – both young and old at the same time. Vulnerable, haggard, in more pain than perhaps she thought she could handle. They all thought of her as a mother – Leon wondered, suddenly, and for maybe foolishly the first time, if she actually considered them her children. He wondered if he was face-to-face with a woman who had had half of her brood broken in only one night.
Her pain transferred into his chest, with a bolt of panic – he didn't want things to be like this anymore. This wasn't how life was meant to be. All these last few weeks – they had just been the calm before the storm. Incredible, that none of them had seen last night coming. He envied Demyx in that moment, his easy ability to just comfort and be comforted. No barriers at all, not one. Leon wished he could be like that, wished he could take the seat on her other side, wind his arms between theirs, and dig his face into her shoulder. But he was a leader. He was in charge. He had – work to do. He had lost the luxury of breaking down a very, very long time ago. And so he nudged her toe with his, holding down the cups of coffee. "I'm done," he said quietly, without emotion. "He wanted some caffeine. I put extra sugar in for good measure. Ought to keep him buzzing for a while. There's one for you, too, if you can stand to risk it."
Aerith sniffed, wiping her cheeks with her sleeves, reining her anguish in as far as possible. She was another one like him, then. Even despite her ability to cry, she still had to be strong. She wasn't allowed to crumble any more than he was. She stood, smoothing her hair, her dress. She took the cups carefully, met his gaze for a flickering moment. Then she wrapped her arms around his neck, up on her tiptoes, pulling him into a hunch. She sniffed loudly in his ear. "Thank you," she said hoarsely. "I know he'll appreciate it." He nodded cautiously, patting her gently. She released him a moment later and left without another word, hurrying along to the blond teen's room. Demyx gazed up at him pleadingly. "Well? What happened? What'd Vaan say?"
Leon took a deep breath, composing himself, gathering every frayed thread of thought within reach and attempting to make sense of it all. "We need to go back to the castle soon. Emergency meeting needs calling. First, I'll see Sora and Axel. Then we go. Don't slow me down, Demyx."
"I'm ready to go now," the blond answered sharply. "Just don't leave without me."
"Go wait by the bike, then. I'll see you in a few minutes. I won't be long – I can't be."
His first stop was Sora's room. He needed to run this by someone knowledgeable. He knew the door number, legs taking broad steps as he swiftly traversed the few long halls spanning the ward. It was annoying to have them peppered around like this – it didn't help his conscience when he sat in Cloud's room, knowing there were others needing checking on, the walk between them eating up as much time as the conversations themselves. At least they were all on the same floor this time, and there were no irate soldiers to circumnavigate as they visited their own. It was almost refreshing, in a wholly irritating sort of way.
He reached Sora's door, brow furrowed, opened it and entered noisily, urgency working its way through his veins. He stopped sharply, halfway to the bed, finding himself pinned by a pair of warning teal-coloured eyes. Sora was fast asleep, no doubt knocked out by painkiller. On his uninjured side, Riku stretched out alongside the boy, an arm curled around his waist. Obviously planning on sleeping also, the silver-haired teen glared without speaking, the caution tacit that to stir the brunet was to die. Leon hesitated, torn between letting Sora rest and desiring some perspective. Riku shook his head slowly, careful not to disturb the invalid. The man jammed a thumb into one eye, letting out a gradual hiss of air. It wouldn't be worth the wrath, and Sora would only be confused by the onslaught of broken information. He curtly uttered, "Fine," and left the room again, shutting the door quietly, before stomping off back towards Axel's section of the floor. It was almost exactly the same room the redhead had occupied during his last visit. In fact, he realised, faltering slightly, there was every chance he was in Roxas' room. That was… almost disturbing.
Leon wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, letting Axel know what was going on. Hell, who knew if the man was even awake yet? His ordeal had been horrific, and the damage was phenomenal, bad enough on its own, worse in that it had hit almost precisely on the old injury. It didn't matter how many years passed, these things never quite went away, and Axel was busy finding out firsthand. But Leon couldn't countenance the thought of just rushing away, aware that Roxas was in danger and not in control of himself, and leaving Axel to wonder with an increasingly shattered mind at what had happened during the night, where the blond he'd all but devoted his entire existence to was. He had to decide which would be more detrimental to the redhead's mental health – thinking Roxas had lost his mind and was out wandering, or that the boy had been taken over and was in the hands of a potential killer. He wondered, if he were in Axel's place, which would be preferable – destructive ignorance, or the screaming fear of knowledge.
Pretend it's Cloud.
His blood chilled – for all he knew, it very possibly could have been. After all, this mystery attacker was connected to him somehow, had settled his sights upon Roxas because of their physical similarities. It hurt, panic fluttering in his chest, to think of Cloud in that same situation. So, what would Leon want? He's in hospital, his leg broken by his lover, no idea what's happening or where he is – does he really want the truth? He found Axel's room, knocked with one knuckle as he twisted the handle and entered, grimly determined.
Axel was awake, staring out the window. Aerith had been and left her calling card, flowers on the nightstand. The man's green eyes were focused beyond them, an emptiness to his gaze, a hollowness. There was a glaze to them, as they rolled slowly to Leon, that bespoke the drugs in his system, but it didn't seem as though he'd ended up being sedated. There was a stillness about him, so different from his cracked, frenetic state back at the castle. Leon wondered if he had calmed, or just… given up, somehow. There was a desolate feel to the room, like maybe he had.
"I wasn't sure you'd be awake," he said quietly, by way of greeting. "How are you?"
Axel stared for a moment, eyelids at half-mast. "Where's Roxas?"
Leon folded his arms. "…He's been sighted."
The redhead stilled. "And?"
"And…" Leon wasn't sure what to say – after all, there was the truth, and the truth. No matter if their situations were reversed – he had to decide what was best for Axel, what was necessary information and what wasn't. "…We're going to find him. He doesn't know who he is right now."
Axel closed his eyes, nodded marginally. "I gathered as much." His expression tightened. "Do you think he'll ever get better?" When his eyes opened again, they glittered slightly, unshed tears. "He's sick, Leon. He doesn't even know what he's doing." There was hopelessness in him. Leon shook his head.
"He's not sick, Axel. He's being controlled by the core."
The man froze, eyebrows drawing together. His attention focused sharply. "…What do you mean?"
Leon sighed, tipped his chin down. "Vaan's here, at the hospital. He got shot by… someone. A – pirate thing. Long story short, he encountered Roxas at the airship terminal. Somehow, the core is acting through him – Vaan said it was to do with his programming not being burnt away – and he managed to track them down before they left with it."
Axel's eyes were wide, round. His chest stopped moving, a stunned expression in place. "What the fuck are you talking about?" His voice strengthened slightly.
"The Jenova core. It's controlling him," Leon stated calmly. "The whole reason you got hurt was so you wouldn't follow when he left – you know that's not something Roxas would do."
"Of course I know," the redhead replied, strangled. "But – I thought it was to do with the sleep-walking. I thought…"
"We all thought he'd lost his mind," Leon said bluntly. "It's a pretty fucking crazy kind of act. But according to Vaan, it's the computer. He seemed to believe what he was talking about."
Axel was breathing hard all of a sudden. "So where is he now? Where's Roxas? Did Vaan tell you that?"
"Vaan… doesn't know," Leon confessed reluctantly.
Green eyes widened. "What? Why the hell not? What happened?"
Leon scowled, hands going to his hips. "Look, some – some stuff happened, and he lost track of Roxas. But – Roxas has the core now."
Axel ran this frantically through his mind. "But – does that mean he'll return to the castle? If it's the core controlling him – the next logical step, it's returning to the castle, right?"
Leon groaned internally. What he wouldn't have given for palm-cards and a practice run-through at this before it had to be discussed. "Look, Axel… Roxas is – " He blew out a sigh. "Okay, fine, you want to know it all?" Axel nodded sharply. He steeled himself. "The guy posing as Sephiroth – he's the one that shot Vaan. Vaan's now dying, in another room. The guy followed Roxas to the airship terminal, shot Vaan, took Roxas. So right now… Roxas is with him."
The blood had drained from Axel's face as the explanation unfolded, tattoos looking like slashes in contrast with the powdery-white. Voice suddenly loud in the small space, he burst out, "So go and fucking find him, Leon! I don't care if he found a way to get Roxas to the goddamn moon, you're going to get that gun-fucking-blade of yours, grab Vincent by his cock if you have to, and go and find him." He looked around wildly, feebly trying to push himself up. "Fuck this," he muttered anxiously. "Get me a fucking wheelchair, I'm going to come and make sure you do this right."
Leon restrained him, snapped, "Axel, calm down! There's nothing you can do. I know that's hard for you, but you have to accept it, or you'll find yourself sedated. No one's going to let you leave this hospital – if you try to in this condition, you won't make it to the front door! Do you know how close you came to dying? Do you want to try it again? Then it won't even matter if Roxas is found, he'll be all a-fucking-lone."
Axel gaped up at him, panicking more with each passing moment. "But Leon, he has Roxas! He'll kill him, he'll rape him – you didn't see the way he was with him, Leon – he – he'll kill him just so I never see him again – "
"Axel, breathe. If you don't get a hold of yourself, I'll call the nurse," the brunet threatened. "Damn it, if I'd known you were going to freak out, I wouldn't have said anything." He released the redhead abruptly, stepping back with a glare. "Right now, Demyx is waiting by Cloud's bike down in the parking lot. As soon as I finish with you, we're going back to the castle to call an emergency meeting, and we are going to figure out what to do." His expression hardened. "Listen to me, just for a minute – " He leaned forward, hands clamping on the metal bar spanning the length of the bed, lowering himself close to the petrified man's face. Axel's green eyes flicked from one storm-grey to the other, over and over, a pleading expression in place. Leon said quietly, intently, "I know you're scared. So am I. And I know it's hard, but you have to not think about what might be happening to Roxas, and just hope for the best. I promise you, we will find him. You know how I know?" He stopped, waited. Axel stared for a moment, blinked, shook his head. "Because Roxas has the core. You know DiZ won't rest until he has it. You know none of them will. It's not just about Roxas – it's about all of Twilight Town. And I know which of those is more important to you, and which is more important to me – but the fact of it is, the core is more important to the ones that matter. And they won't stop, they won't rest, until it's recovered. This means finding Roxas." He pulled back, keeping his gaze locked on Axel's. "Do you understand now? Are you going to calm down? Because, one way or another, there's no way he's staying missing. As long as he's got the core, there's always going to be people searching."
Axel blinked rapidly, fighting the prickle at the back of his eyes. "Why – why can't I help out, at least?"
"Because there's nothing you can do," Leon replied simply. "Anything you're capable of, other people are going to be better at, because they're not hurt, and they're not afraid like you are."
Axel reached up, wiped his face in agitation. "So I just – I just have to lie here, and-and-and, and hope?"
The brunet sighed, calmly nodded. "That's correct." He studied Axel, while the redhead absorbed this weight upon his chest and shoulders, withering down into the bed like a lost, frightened child. "Now, you can keep arguing with me," he said quietly, "or you can let me leave. The sooner I get back, the sooner things get started. And if you try anything stupid, the hospital will call me, and I'll have to come back. You don't want me to come back, Axel, because that means delaying the search, and it means you get your ass kicked. And not just by me – I don't think Aerith can deal with your crap right now, either. So…" He eyed him cautiously. "Are you going to behave?"
Axel's eyes squeezed shut, hands fisting the blankets. He sank down even further, jaw tightening as his teeth jammed hard together. "You know something, Leon? Cloud was right," he choked out. "You're a fucking asshole."
"Yeah, well, Cloud's unconscious right now," the man snapped back. "Don't think you're the only one suffering."
The redhead sagged. "Fine. Whatever. Get out of my room, I need to sleep." Shaking his head, Leon turned to leave. He reached the door, and was stopped one more time, by an afterthought. "Leon – is Cloud going to wake up?" It was asked hesitantly, voice small. He paused, a hand on the doorframe.
"They say so. It's just taking a while."
Axel breathed out a sigh, sounding ancient. "I guess you just need to be patient, huh?"
Leon's knuckles whitened. "No," he muttered to himself. "It'll kill him. And then Aerith will kill me. And there'll be two blonds without boyfriends."
"Leon?"
He lifted his eyes. "Yes, Axel. Patience."
"…Okay, then." Leon glanced back over his shoulder, mildly startled at the tone. It was like… listening to someone say they're about to die. It was a little like listening to Vaan. Axel's face was drawn and bleak. "I'll… be good."
Leon nodded, opened the door, left him to his overwhelming fears. There was a commotion going on, as he travelled back towards the elevators. As he passed the nurses' station, he heard one woman hiss, "How do a critically injured man and a woman with rabbit's ears just stroll out of a hospital without anybody noticing?!"
Leon felt a stab of sadness – Vaan had been well and truly abandoned now.
.o.O.o.
Roxas was sleeping. He was exhausted – even as he slept, he could feel it pulling at his limbs like great shackles, heavy chains, dragging him under even though he was already submerged. There was a sickness to the sensation, a feeling that maybe no amount of rest would ever make it up. He could stay like this for a thousand years, and still wake needing a thousand more. He was drowning.
But… there was something pulling at him. Something calling him back to the world of the woken, tugging at his drifting leadenness. He was torn – did he want to fight this, and stay where he was, or clutch it to climb his way back to consciousness?
"Roxas…"
Someone was touching him, a gentle line being drawn from the base of his ear, stroking slowly along his jaw, to finish at his lips with a tingle. It would then repeat, a constant, soothing motion. He frowned slightly, sighed softly, twitched. His muscles started to shift of their own accord. Moments later, there was pain – it jolted through with the movement, brought him gasping into reality, breaking instantly into sweat. The touch paused, a hand laying gently across his cheek. His eyes rolled, unfocused. "Axel?"
"No, dear one. It's me."
He blinked sharply, the world falling into place, the green eyes a quarter-inch from his own registering as foreign. He choked, wrenched back, but the hand was quicker, seizing his earlobe and tugging just as quickly forward. Roxas let out a cry, eyelids stinging, his ear almost ripping a little at the force. He jammed his mouth into the pillow, gulping in air, trembling. "So, who may I ask is present right now?" the cold voice demanded, a smile in place, amusement underlying it all. He shook the boy's head, still grasping the soft, fatty tissue, bringing forth another choked exclamation from his lips, a keening whine of bewilderment and pain. "Come on, now, don't be shy – what's your name today, war-orphan?"
"Roxas," he yelped, vision blurring. "I'm Roxas!"
There was a pause. Then the touch gentled again. "Roxas," the man said musingly. He resumed the stroking of the blond's face, though this time it didn't feel soothing or good – it sent sour saliva flooding through the boy's mouth, throat clutching. His shaking increased. "I'm not sure whether to be disappointed or not… You were so compliant before…" His eyes glinted, a strand of silvery hair fluttering down across the bridge of his nose as he settled again more firmly into the pillow. They were on a bed – somewhere. Where was he? "No matter," the man murmured, a little smile in place. "It's more fun making puppets out of real people, anyway… You'll do so marvellously, Roxas, I know you will. You'll be my puppet… and I'll be your Sephiroth. We don't need anything else."
"I – I want to go home," Roxas hurried out in a whisper. The man leaned forward, Roxas cringing as his lips brushed the clammy skin of his forehead. They were warm, wet, leaving a buzzing in their wake. It took every ounce of his self-control to not start scrubbing at the site. "You are home, little war-orphan. Little Roxas, little Cloud. You're home with me." His fingers traced the shell of Roxas' ear, as he sweetly added, "And if you try to run from me again, little Cloud, little Roxas, you little shit, I'll tear your ear off next time. I might even use my teeth."
Roxas' eyes slipped shut. The weariness was pulling at him again, summoned by the terror in his chest that begged for this to be over. The lips touched him a second time, on the nose – wasn't that where Axel had first kissed him? His face would never be the same again. He was tainted now.
"But only because I love you."
The stranger devotedly wiped each tear as they came, denying him even that.
