Tick

Tock

Tick

Tock

TICK

TOCK

The clock was getting louder and louder and louder.

It was the only thing he could hear and he wanted it to stop.

He couldn't see because it was so dark, it was beginning to strangle him. He stood up from his bed and walked over to the source of the ticking. It was his small bedside clock that he had thrown across the room in a fit of anger. And now another fit of anger caused him to lift up his foot and smash the clock into 50 tiny pieces.

Silence.

Finally, silence.

Dan had said goodbye to Phil earlier that night but all he could think about was what Phil had said to him. He used to be a bully. There must have been more to it. Dan didn't want to believe it at all. Phil was the first person to befriend him in what seemed like forever. After Luke died when they were 12, Dan had no one making him an easy target. An easy target that Phil would have abused. Just like Jackson and Peter.

But that was impossible. Phil was just too nice. Besides, he seems just as broken as he was, Dan thought to himself. It was obvious that Phil wasn't okay, maybe that's what stemmed from the bully or maybe that's what caused him to do it.

There were so many questions buzzing around Dan's head and it was driving him crazy. He needed to do something. He needed answers. He picked up his phone and text Phil.

Can I ask you something? –D

The reply was instant.

Yeah, go ahead? –P

Why did you bully others? I know you told me that you didn't have a choice, but I just don't understand. If you knew what it was like then you would never choose it. :/ -D

I didn't have a choice Dan. I'll tell you the whole story but not now. I'm sorry. I know that I owe you more. –P

Dan knew that he wouldn't get his answers now. The answers that he so desperately needed to calm him down and stop the constant buzzing of thoughts in his head. But he also knew that he had to respect Phil. At least he promised to tell him the whole story at some point.

Okay, see you tomorrow. x –D

After sending the text Dan grabbed his coat and put on his shoes. There was no way he was going to be sleeping any time soon. And when he felt this way he knew exactly where to go.


The graveyard was about a mile away from Dan's house and it was all uphill. Dan didn't mind this too much as he enjoyed walking in the night. It was about 12:30am by the time Dan reached the gate leading into the eerie setting. Even though it was almost pitch black apart from Dan's phone torch lighting the ground, Dan knew exactly where he needed to go.

When he couldn't think, or things would get too much for him at home with Dad, or Dan had had a particularly bad day with the bullies at school, he always went to talk to Luke about it. He knew that Luke was 6 feet under the ground, but Dan always felt like he would still be listening to his complaints.

'Hey Luke' Dan said once arriving at the headstone.

'I don't know if you know this, I don't know what you can and can't see, but I have a new friend.' Dan started in a tone that conveyed happiness and sadness at the same time. 'I say friend, he's the first person to actually engage in a conversation with me since you died. But I don't know if I'm making a huge mistake. I wish you could tell me if I was. Phil seems like the nicest guy, I've honestly never met anyone so honest and kind, and I mean he fucking stood up for me in front of Jackson! No one has ever done that!'

Dan chuckled to himself and continued, 'But anyway, I wish you could tell me if I'm doing the right thing here in trusting him. He told me he used to bully other people. How could I be friends with a bully? Even if he doesn't do it now, it just doesn't make sense. Nothing makes sense anymore now Luke. I just really wish you were here. I miss you dude.'

Dan slumped against the rock and rested his head. He sighed. Usually talking to Luke made him feel better and helped him to understand what he needed to do. This time however, he was still just as stuck as before.

After half an hour Dan decided he should probably get back home before it started to get light. It was only 2 am, but Dan felt like he could easily fall asleep right there in the graveyard. He picked his heavy body up and willed it to walk home. He knew that he had to get that story out of Phil some way and he knew that it needed to be soon.


*comes out of hiding* Hi…

So, where the hell have you been all this time? Who me? Ooooh, you're wondering why I haven't uploaded to this story in so freaking long? Weeelllll, I was close to giving up on it tbh. I just haven't known what to write and this chapter is in a different style to any others and doesn't quite run with the whole story line (I introduced a random character ffs). Anyway, I hope I'll be able to write more to this soon but I'm not making any promises…

Also, UCAS is over (university application process) and guess who hasn't applied… *slowly raises hand* Yep, so I don't know what the f^ck I'm doing with my life next year. I'm loving this existential crisis going on over here… *goes back into hiding once more*

One more thing, I did a quick one shot that I'm actually really proud of, if you want to, check it out on my profile pleease? Would mean a lot to me :)

Rate and Review if you liked this chapter too. Wow, award for the longers A/N goes to thatgirlwhowatchesyoutube.

Thank you guys xxx