A/N: Thank you all so much for the reviews! They are greatly appreciated, so much so that I decided to upload the second part tonight! As always, reviews are greatly received, and thank you in advance!
Also, this is a warning that there will be season six spoilers throughout this chapter (aforementioned season seven because I may have forgotten that we've had this five years later for a lot longer than I thought!)
To all Haleb shippers – Caleb will be in the next chapter, I promise but I wanted to go through everything beforehand to try and get as much background to the story as possible.
"And maybe a happy ending doesn't include a guy, maybe it's you, on your own, picking up the pieces and starting over, freeing yourself up for something better in the future. Maybe the happy ending is just moving on."
Hanna's eyes scanned over the words on the paper once again, although she had read it a thousand times over, but for a moment, she was distracted by the babbling baby sitting next to her. Her blue eyes met with eyes that perfectly matched her own and she smiled, her hand smoothing out the blonde hair before she took a deep breath. This would her first time back to Rosewood in over three years, and it would be her son's very first trip to the place where his mother had grown up.
It had taken more than she thought when she had first received the letter, her first instinct was to run as far away as she possibly could have so she would never have to take her son to the place where so many bad things had happened. But then she reminded herself, bad things happened everywhere and she could try and hide him away from the world all she wanted, but she wouldn't be able to protect him from the terrible things that happened every single day.
Hanna had somehow managed to keep her best friends in the dark about most of her life; of course they had come to visit Henry when he was first born and on his first birthday but Hanna had managed to avoid them for much of the past two years. She was ashamed because she could see the judgement in their eyes, she could hear it in their voices when they realised that Hanna, the one who wanted to move to New York with the love of her life, who wanted to study Fashion in college and go on to become this huge Designer that raked in the millions, she was gone. All that was left was a twenty-three year old with a child, living in a large city where no one knew her name and for once, Hanna was okay with that.
Her apartment was small, her job allowed her to work from home, and her neighbour had barely spoken two words to her since she had moved in. That was just the way she liked it, but Hanna knew she wasn't able to ignore her best friends for much longer. Not when they had all been summoned to Rosewood to either help or hinder the release of their stalker, kidnapper and torturer.
The flight seemed to take longer than she had remembered it, but soon she was holding her son close to her chest and grabbing their luggage as her heart thumped uncomfortably against her chest. She was home, she was supposed to be happy but all she felt was this crushing feeling that something awful was going to happen in the short time she planned on spending there. "It's going to be okay," She whispered, pressing her lips to Henry's forehead as she closed her eyes, repeating the words to herself. It had to be okay, it was only two days, two days and then she would be back to her quiet, drama free life.
It was set to be the first time all four of them were back in Rosewood together since they had all left for college five years before, so Hanna hadn't been surprised when they had all decided to meet in The Brew just an hour after she and the other three had landed. They may have been in a rush to get back to their lives afterwards, but they still missed each other and she knew they needed to discuss what they were going to say about Charlotte and her impending release.
Hanna had already arranged for Henry to spend a few hours with a local babysitter she had only read good things about, because she wanted to keep him out of the Rosewood and the A drama as much as possible. When he was first born, Hanna had found it harder than she ever could have imagined – not the night feeds, or the constant crying, or the diaper changes but the fact that for those first few weeks, perhaps even months, she felt nothing. She had watched so many documentaries and television shows about pregnant women and then they had their babies and they described this overwhelming love they felt as they held the tiny baby in their arms for the first time. Hanna had just felt numb when she was given a screaming baby to hold, she had just stared down at him and wondered what the hell she had done. Caleb was gone, people looked at her as though she was this awful person but no one would ever admit it, and Hanna was there, with a baby when she had no idea how to be a mother.
That was the hardest part. She'd have to force a smile and pretend as though she thought the world revolved around him and he was the greatest thing that had ever happened to her. And she felt awful because he should have been, he should have been her entire world and even then, as she held him in her arms, she wondered if the way she treated him in the beginning was going to ruin his entire future.
It was because of their beginning together that she was a little selfish, and too over-protective. She didn't want him in Rosewood but she also didn't want to leave him with anyone. She didn't want him to be seen out with her in that place because she didn't know who was watching, but she also didn't want him too far from her. She didn't want her best friends, or even her mother to be fussing around him because she just wanted it to be the two of them again. It was safe – Hanna and Henry in their own little world where neither of them were going to hurt each other and nothing bad could happen in their tiny New York apartment.
It was those thoughts that consumed her after she had dropped him off and tried to ignore the overwhelming desire to run back to the house and tell the young woman she had changed her mind. But she had to see her friends and she had to decipher what they were going to say before she walked into the court room and blurted out something that no one else agreed with. She was there for that, and then she was free to go.
Walking into The Brew brought back so many memories – good and bad – and Hanna knew she could just get lost in them if she spent her entire day just wandering around Rosewood. So much had happened, and whilst she kept the great things close to her heart, it was all those awful things that kept her as far away from Rosewood as she could be.
With a smile, she recognised the woman sitting on the couch and quietly moved behind her, covering her eyes with her hands, "Guess who?" She spoke, laughing when Emily quickly got up and wrapped her arms around her, their smiles only growing when they heard a very familiar voice behind them and turned to see the two other members of their little group. Hanna had forgotten how being around them had felt – true happiness and for a few moments, she could forget all her responsibilities and all the pain.
It didn't take too long to settle back into their usual selves – teasing each other, laughing loudly, drawing attention to their little corner of the coffee shop as they spoke about their lives since graduating college. Spencer was kicking ass in Washington, as Hanna always knew she would, Emily had some fancy job that Hanna didn't really understand but she could see the slight hint of jealousy in Spencer's eyes and she knew it must have been something amazing and Aria had a cute boyfriend and was in a job she loved. "So, how is Henry?" Spencer finally asked, causing Hanna to look up and grin at the brunette across from her, "He's great, he's just started walking so I've got to keep an eye on him more than usual at the moment and he's picking up more words every single day..."
Hanna had spoken to mothers who could talk for hours and hours about their child, but she liked to keep him to herself. It was selfish and completely irrational, but when they were in New York, it was just the two of them and it was safer that way. The four of them spoke a little while longer, none of them really mentioning the real reason they were there; it could wait for a little while, at least. She supposed they all had to think about it as being in Rosewood could change how they felt before they had stepped off the plane.
Saying goodbye to the girls though, meant saying hello to her mother – another person she had managed to let down over the past two years. Ashley had been working so hard on her new business, and every attempt she had made to get Hanna to Rosewood had been met with poor excuses which meant that, despite the Radley being open for a few months, Hanna had yet to step foot inside the place she was now meant to be spending the night in. And because the hotel had taken so much of her time, her mother had barely had the chance to be in her grandson's life and Hanna knew that Ashley hated seeing Henry grow up through the odd photograph and video that Hanna decided to send her.
There was still that bitter resentment though, hidden deep inside of Hanna every single time she spoke to the older Marin on the phone or via Skype. She loved her grandson, and Hanna knew she did but if she were to find out how he was conceived, would she still feel the same? Hanna knew it was completely irrational to hold a bitterness towards someone who hadn't even expressed any sort of feelings towards the concept of Hanna cheating on the person she was supposed to marry one day. But Hanna seemed to live on 'what ifs' since that fateful night and unfortunately, she thought the worst of every single person she was surrounded by.
"This place looks amazing," She commented, as she looked around, finally tearing herself from her thoughts after she had found herself sitting outside the beautiful building that Radley had been turned into, "Seriously, you would never know that this used to be a nut house." She tried to make light of the situation, holding onto the glass of champagne her mother had brought out to her upon her arrival.
Ashley couldn't help but playfully roll her eyes at her daughter as she set her own glass down, a smile on her face as she observed the blonde, "Okay, we prefer the European definition of 'santitarium' when talking about this historic structure."
Hanna only shrugged, keeping the smile plastered on her face as she kept looking around, not able to believe what this place used to be. How terrified it had once seemed but how beautiful it now looked, "Well it looks beautiful, you did a really good job... Didn't it sort of creep you out though?"
"We evicted all the ghosts, Hanna. Soon people will forget what this place was and soon we'll only be remembered for our exquisite brunch." Hanna nodded her head a little, knowing exactly what ghosts her mother was referring to, "My mother, the exorcist." Was all she said in reply, with a slight raised eyebrow as she tipped her glass before the very subject she was dreading was brought up.
"I was hoping you would bring Henry with you."
"Yeah, uh, I wanted to see you on my own first... he's here, I promise, I just- you can see him later, I promise."
Ashley continued, seemingly not impressed by Hanna's answer, "I've been trying to get you back here to see the place since we opened."
"I know but I've been busy." Hanna replied quickly, "I have a son to raise on my own, I have a job, I have my own life and you-" She was cut off, and she quickly downed the rest of her drink before her frown deepened and she just stared at the woman who had once known her so well. Sometimes, Hanna could look at her son and know before he was going to cry, had Ashley felt the same about her once? Did she know that something was wrong? Hanna doubted it, thanks to Charlotte, she had mastered the key skills of lying to everyone and pretending everything was okay when it wasn't. Even her mother couldn't see through the huge wall Hanna had built around her life.
"But when Alison calls."
"It isn't Alison, mom, it's the court."
"It's still Alison, she's been petitioning the court to get Charlotte out of the hospital since the day she was locked up. You don't owe Alison a thing, after what that person did to you -" The blonde flinched, although she knew who Ashley was referring to and it wasn't the person who now haunted Hanna's dreams, she quickly cut the woman off and shook her head before the conversation could go any further, "Mom, I know what she did to me and I know exactly what I'm going to say to the judge."
That was another lie. Hanna had no idea what she was supposed to say to the judge, was she meant to be okay with the thought of the woman being released back into the world to unleash her mental instability onto the girls once again? Was she meant to fight it and tell them that five years was not long enough even though Charlotte had spent most of her life locked in an institute? Ironically, the building Hanna was sitting outside of right then, had been where Charlotte had spent so long. Had it been long enough?
Alison thought so. Well, Hanna supposed Alison thought her sister had served long enough four years and eleven months ago from the way she was talking. As Hanna stood there, just a few hours after her talk with her mom, she could feel the anger bubbling inside of her that hadn't been there before. Supervised visits, a chance to go home, to lead a normal life – if a bad person was crazy, does that make the bad things they did any better? Hanna wished it was so black and white – a bad person was a bad person and a good person was a good person. That would make life so much easier, it would make every situation so much easier to understand. If she found out Henry's father was a certifiably crazy person, would that make the situation better? She doubted it. So why did it make the person who stalked and kidnapped her any better a person?
She left her thoughts unspoken, and instead, let her friends speak as she stood there with folded arms and a glare on her face that showed just how disapproving of the entire thing she truly was. Charlotte being locked away had made her feel safer five years ago, but it hadn't stopped the nightmares, they had only stopped because something even worse had happened to her. But had they stopped for the three people standing next to her right then?
"All we have to say is that we're nor afraid of her. That's all Ali wants. Then we get the hell out of here." Spencer whispered and Hanna gave a small nod of her head; there were more terrifying things in the world to be terrified of than Charlotte Dilaurentis. Maybe she wasn't afraid anymore, because she had seen true darkness and maybe the crazy, mixed up girl who thought they were nothing more than her dolls, just wasn't it.
