Adrien watched a storm rage outside of his window and took a shaky breath. Before his identity was revealed, running around during storms was one of the simple pleasures of his hero life. The darkness of the clouds left him a lot of coverage in which to hide- one of the perks of wearing all black.

Now, though, he couldn't go out like that without getting punished by Gabriel. No jaunts around Paris, as Chat Noir or Cat Walker. He spun a few times around on his desk chair and couldn't stop his brain from wandering. The 'tapping' of rain at his window reminded him of the first day that he'd really talked to Marinette.

He laid his head down on his desk as he played absently with a pencil, tapping it on the notebook in front of him. He knew that he was supposed to be doing his homework, but there were thoughts constantly running amok in his head, distracting him from the maths or was it physics he was supposed to be working on.

He flipped his pencil absentmindedly until the tip landed on the notebook paper. He started moving the pencil across the paper, drawing the rudimentary shape of an umbrella. It wasn't a particularly impressive doodle, but it was enough to make him smile. The shape was similar to the one Émilie used in 'Solitude.'

He slammed the pencil down on the desk and dropped his face into his other hand. A tear slipped from his eye and landed on the page, hitting the top of the umbrella. He felt so frustrated and he hated that. He never thought the idea of his mom would make him mad. Sad, of course, but never mad .

Even the days he feared that she left them, that she left him , it never left him mad. Now, though, it felt like she was the reason his life had been uprooted. He loved being Chat Noir, loved being a hero, but now that he knew Gabriel was the reason he'd had to become a hero, that Émilie was the reason Gabriel was a villain, he was filled with bitterness and anger.

He stared at the doodle of the umbrella and couldn't help how frustrated it made him feel. Something about the small drawing made it feel positive, but he knew that it shouldn't. He considered scratching it out with his pencil, but decided to instead draw a stormcloud above it and, if he'd had the artistic ability, he was gonna make lightning hit the umbrella.

He tried, but there was a reason he wasn't gonna become a professional artist. The umbrella just looked sketchier- scratchier, even, than it had before. He wondered, briefly, if he could just put the drawing outside and let the paper get swept up in the storm, but no- that would be littering. He might not have been a hero, but he also wasn't a litterbug.

A bright flash of lightning barely registered as he stared at the piece of paper, but the loud clap of thunder that followed it was able to snap him out of the spiral he was practically certain that he was experiencing at that point. He shook his head when the thunder ended and stared at the piece of paper. Staring, though, only lasted a few moments before he decided to tear out the sheet from his notebook, glad he hadn't done any of his schoolwork on the same page.

He folded it in half and tossed it into the recycling bin next to the 'trash' bin that Plagg had claimed as his own.

"Are you okay, kit?" Plagg quietly questioned after Adrien finished getting rid of the paper. Adrien was almost certain that he'd never heard a more loaded question in his life. He didn't know what answer he could possibly tell the kwami that wouldn't make him worry for his charge. The short answer was that he wasn't okay. The long answer was that he didn't know when he'd be able to feel okay again.

"I…" Adrien began before swallowing his saliva, "I will be." It was meant to sound assuring, but deep down, they both knew that it was an empty promise. Plagg flew up and landed on Adrien's head, burrowing himself into the fluffy, blond hair. He began gently purring, trying to be a supportive presence for the once hero.

The storm outside of his window reminded of the last fight he'd been able to be part of on Ladybug's side, before everything in his life felt like it got turned upside down. "Mrew." He sat straight up in his seat, almost knocking Plagg off of his head as a result. He waited for the second sound, the 'I need you' that he felt in his heart whenever it came through.

Nothing, though. There wasn't a second sound. Just the one, singular, 'just saying hi' mrew. It was the first time she'd 'just said hi' since Cat Walker came back and he felt his heart pound in his chest. He knew there was a chance it was just a fluke, a possibility that a second press hadn't registered, but he couldn't help the hope that rose in him that she was still thinking fondly of Chat Noir and their fight against Mad Mudder just like he had.

He didn't know how much he'd needed to have her just, greet him, treat him like everything could eventually go back to normal until it happened. He felt like he could cry, even though he knew he wouldn't. If Gabriel walked in, Adrien knew he wouldn't be able to explain why he had begun crying. The villain, while understanding loss, wouldn't accept that Adrien was crying over his their(?) nemesis.

While Gabriel wouldn't be able to get an explanation out of Adrien, though, he did know someone who did deserve an explanation. Maybe not one from Adrien, himself, but she definitely deserved one from Chat Noir. Granted, he felt as though most Parisians did, but most Parisians weren't his princess, Marinette Dupain-Cheng.