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P.S. I haven't spell checked this or anything. I was just excited to get it uploaded. So if there are errors, deal with it Lol. Enjoy!
Chapter 14
:Hermione:
The rest of the week went about the same as that first day. Draco walked with her to their shared classes. He didn't walk her to the classes they didn't share. But he was always there when it was over to walk with her back to their dorm, or to the kitchens. They didn't talk much, but the silence was comfortable. He didn't try to make idle conversation about the weather or classes or anything ridiculous like that and she was grateful. They also did their homework together. Sort of. He sat by the fire and she sat in the window seat, but they were in the same room. She had decided that she didn't mind his presence one bit.
The week had been so overwhelming. Harry kept trying to catch her eye whenever he would see her. Ron didn't even look in her direction. The other students avoided her like she was contagious, going out of their way to walk down the other side of the corridor when she walked. She was terribly behind in all of her classes. Her professors gave her worried looks when they thought she wouldn't notice. Worse that that was the expectant looks anytime a question was asked.
But she ignored all of it. She didn't need to prove herself to anyone anymore. She felt foolish when she thought about her old behaviors. Raising her hand before the question was even finished, reciting texts word for word, always eager to prove that she was the best. She just wasn't that girl anymore. She was no better than anyone else. She was born and she would die same as the rest.
She was startled out of her own head by a soft knock. She looked up to see Draco standing in the doorway of the charms classroom. She looked around, surprised to see that she was the only one there, just sitting at her desk. She hadn't even noticed that class was over.
"I'm so sorry," she jumped up gathering her things, "I didn't notice..." she trailed off feeling stupid.
"I have nowhere to be," he said, holding the door open for her.
They walked quietly to their dorm. Hermione stopped suddenly outside, and paused for several moments.
"What do you see when you look at this?" she gestured to the painting.
Draco shifted slightly from one foot to the other. "I, uh... I see a tree?" he asked, clearly caught off gaurd by her unexpected question.
"Hm..." was all she said before she spoke the password and stepped through the hole with Draco close behind.
She suddenly stopped again right inside the dorm causing Draco to walk right into her. She stiffened. She couldn't help it. It was a reflex now. She had gone the rest of the week without any ridiculous "episodes" as she called them and all she could think was 'please not now'.
"Shit Granger, I'm sorry," Draco stepped back as far as he could.
She whirled around to face him.
"Do you want to take a walk? I'd like to go for a walk outside."
"Umm sure? Right now?" he asked confused.
"Yes," she said simply, dropping her bag right there on the floor.
:Draco:
He stared at her for a few moments before slowly placing his bag next to hers. She walked past him, brushing her shoulder against his arm and shoved the portrait open. He followed her out. He was more than confused. But he was also a little worried. She was being somewhat erratic and he was fairly sure this wasn't going to end well. But he followed her at a quick pace through the corridors until they reached the massive front doors. She barely paused long enough to shove the doors open and then they were outside.
Draco watched as Hermione stopped on the steps leading down from castle and just stared out at the world, looking at everything, but somehow he knew she was seeing none of it.
He stepped down beside her careful not to stand too close and stared out at the forbidden forest. The sun was mostly set, but he could still see the branches of the tallest trees swaying in the slight breeze. He could hear the night animals coming out of their homes and going about their business.
"I don't see anything," Hermione whispered from bedside him.
"I'm sorry?" he asked stupidly, unsure what she was referring to.
"Our portrait," was all she said.
He thought that over for a minute. "What DO you see?" he asked after several minutes.
He had just started thinking that maybe she wasn't going to answer when he heard her take a shaky breath and start speaking.
"I remember on that first night when you walked me to our dorm from the hospital wing and it was a tree. Well it was weird, cuz half of it was beautiful and the other half was wretched. And i remember you said that it had never looked like that before. And then when you walked out with me on my first day of class the lovely half was a little less lovely. So i assumed it had had a spell placed on it to somehow reflect whomever stood in front of it, and that I was the ugly half and my presence had affected you and caused your half to wilt a little. But I got curious and I've stood in front of it by myself a few times and every time I was by myself, it's just an empty canvas. So I guess that means there's nothing left in me."
Draco stared at her in shock. It was the most he had heard her say in a long time. And it left him speechless. She was very observant, he'd give her that. He had always thought that he was very good at hiding his thoughts and feelings, but they had been put out into the open. And by a painting no less. She had discovered the one thing that he was still trying to wrap his own head around, that her presence affected him. And she had stated it so matter-of-factly, with no indication as to how SHE felt about it. He didn't know how to handle this. He didn't know what to say. He watched her, staring off into the trees, with tears rolling down her face, and he thought about reaching for her, trying to comfort her, but decided against it. He didn't want to scare her away from this moment. He sensed that this was something she needed to get through and he wanted to be here for her.
Draco was reconsidering his attempt to comfort when Hermione turned to face him. He had never seen such pain on a face before. There was a knife twisting his gut, and he felt as though his heart was literally breaking for this broken girl. 'How fitting,' he thought.
She swiped at her tears and they were immediately replaced by new ones. "I'm a fucking mess Malfoy! What if the painting is telling me that I'm stuck like this? What if I'm always going to be a fucked up wreck?" and her tears came even faster.
Without thinking, Draco reached a hand out to wipe away her tears. He saw her flinch, and realized his mistake. He went to drop his hand when Hermione quickly caught it in hers. So he went for it. He placed his hands on either side of her face and gently brushed the tears from her cheeks with the pads of his thumbs.
He held his hands there and looked deep into her too-wide, fearful eyes. "Granger, let me help you," he whispered intently. "I can't promise I'll be very good at it. I've never bothered with other people's problems before. I'm not a very compassionate person. But I WANT to help you get better."
She seemed to consider this for a moment and he could tell she was terrified of the thought when she said, "I'm worried that you wouldn't want to help if you knew why I'm a mess. If you knew what made me this way..."
'Fuck,' he thought. 'I knew it was something big, but damn!'
"Listen to me, Granger," and he made sure to enunciate every word. "I won't ask you what happened. Your business is YOUR business. If someday you want to confide in me and get some shit off your chest, my ears will be open to you without judgement. If you never want to tell me a single detail, I won't judge you for that either. We'll do this on YOUR terms. I'm merely offering moral support. Or a shoulder to cry on. Or fucK! A punching bag if that's what you need. I can take it. Just... Just let me be there for you. Let me hold your hand and give you comfort. Let me strong for you when you can't. I don't know... Just let me!"
He was breathing roughly after his little speech and he could feel tears prick his eyes at the amount of emotion coursing through his heart. It was completely alien to him, this feeling. This... caring.
"Why?" she whispered hoarsely. "Why do you care?"
"I don't know," he answered honestly. "But I do. I do care. So just let me..."
She held herself rigidly for several moments before she allowed herself to lean into him and he wrapped his arms around her small frame and held her tightly to him. He tried to pour all of his strength into her. To make her feel his sincerity. And then she broke completely, wilting into his hold with soul- wrenching sobs. And he just held her, stroking her hair and telling her that it was ok to fall apart because he could hold her together. He just knew it...
