Author's Note: Let me start by saying I'm SORRY for the huge time lapse between chapters. I have a very hectic life with a 3rd grader and a toddler and full time work and no sleep and lovey dovey on the weekends. But I recently came into several hours of downtime every night so I'm goi to try to get into a routine of writing every night. It really is important to me to finish this story and I am BEYOND grateful to those of you who have been following my story since its conception. Stick with me. I know I'm consistent but I hope it's worth it. You are all such lovely fuckers and I adore all of you!

-MamaPunx

Chapter 17

:Hermione:

She wiped the sweat from her brow as she tried to clear her mind. She focused on her breathing, counting each breath. In, two, three, four, five. Out, two, three, four, five. She thought about the spell she wanted to use, a simple expelliarmus, and brought her attention to Draco. He stood across from her several meters away, his wand held loosely in the fingers of his right hand, waiting patiently. She tried to picture his wand flying from his grasp, the quiet approval she would see on his face. She thought the word over and over, silently, and then out loud out of anger. 'Expelliarmus, expelliarmus,' "EXPELLIARMUS!" But nothing happened.

Hermione felt tears of frustration building up behind her eyelids. They had been at it for weeks. An hour everyday after dinner, spent with Draco standing meters away waiting patiently while a whole lot of nothing happened on her end. He had started out with a "refresher course" on non-verbal spells which she hadn't had any problems with. Then he had her put her wand on the floor just out of reach and they got down to the good stuff. He explained that she needed a clear head and a solid grasp on her emotions. You couldn't focus on magic if you were overly emotional, especially without a wand. He told her that it was easiest for him to simply picture the result he wanted, but that you needed to know a spell beforehand for the action you wanted to perform. For instance, you couldn't picture a person floating and make it happen wandlessly unless you already knew a spell to make a person float.

Hermione tried her hardest to clear her mind. She had mastered it over the summer after all. But for some reason, she just couldn't make anything happen. No matter what spell she tried, no matter how hard she pictured it, there was just a lot of nothing. She was very nearly ready to give up at this point. Never had she had this much difficulty learning something new.

:Draco:

He watched sadly as Hermione pressed balled up fists against her eyes, trying hopelessly to stop the tears that were already falling down her face. He wanted to comfort her. Wanted to hold her to him and promise her that it would be okay. But as time went on with no progress she had started to pull away from him. He could feel their tentative friendship starting to fray. He worried that if she didn't have a breakthrough soon she would pull away completely. In the last few weeks he had also noticed something strage within himself. Watching her try so hard to accomplish something so admittedly difficult had given him a new sense of respect for her. He also noticed that the more she seem to pull away the more he tried to hold onto their strange friendship. He still walked her to classes. They still did their homework together in the common room. Sometimes they even researched together in the library. But she almost never spoke to him. It wasn't like she had spoken much before, but he found himself missing the sound of her voice. Ever since the day that he had made her laugh he had wondered what it would be like to hear that laugh all the time. He knew that he was treading in Dangerous Waters but he couldn't stop these thoughts. As he watched Hermione run up the stairs and listened to the sound of her door slamming he had a brilliant thought.

Draco rushed to the fireplace and threw in a handful of green floo powder. "Malfoy Manor," he said calmly and precisely, before sticking his head in the flames.

As soon as he could see into their traveling room an elf popped into view. He quickly asked the elf to fetch his mother. And then he waited. He'd been doing a lot of waiting lately it seemed.

Narcissa stepped into view beaming at her only son.

"My son," she said, "you so rarely call on me. Whatever can I do for you?"

"I need every book that you can find on wandless magic."

"Draco dear", she said skeptically, "I thought that you had already mastered that? What could you possibly need those books for?"

"They're not for me", Draco informed her. "They are for a... friend."

"And who might this friend be?" Narcissa asked with a raised brow and a knowing smirk.

"Mother please do not be offended when I say that I am not comfortable discussing that at this moment. I love you dearly but I know that you tend to jump to Hasty Conclusions."

Narcissa huffed indulgently and rolled her eyes.

"Very well dear I shall see what I can find. Would it be alright if I delivered them by Owl?"

"Yes, mother, that would suffice."

"I shall send you what I find in the morning. Was there anything else?" she asked.

"No. That's all I needed. Thank you."

She eyed him for a moment, her head tilted slightly to one side, studying his face. "Are you alright dear? You look... Troubled? No. That's not it," she frowned, shaking her head a bit. "Worried?" she stared at him expectantly.

"I'm fine, Mother. Don't fret over me. I love you dearly. I'll owl you soon." And he blew her a kiss, watching her giggle behind her hand, before pulling his head back out of the flames and sitting back on his heels.

He was sure he did look quite flustered indeed. This whole ordeal with Hermione was trying his patience. 'No', he thought to himself. 'Not my patience. My sanity.' And he WAS starting to feel a bit crazed. He was wary of the whole situation. He didn't know where he stood in all of this mess. But more confusing, he didn't know where he WANTED to stand. He didn't know what he felt or what he wanted to be feeling. He didn't know if he even wanted to know. It was draining and yet all consuming. He headed up the stairs with every intention of throwing himself down on his bed and staring at the ceiling for the next few hours. When he got to the top of the stairs he could hear muffled crying coming from Hermione's room. He felt a pang in his chest. It was the same every night. They would have their "lesson", she would make no progress, and then she would cry for the rest of the night. 'Well not tonight' he thought and walked over to her door, knocking lightly.

"Granger?" he called lightly.

There were no sounds of movement and he was about to turn away when he heard the door unlock. He waited for her to open it but it remained closed.

"Uh... Granger...?" he questioned, hesitating, before finally turning the handle and poking his head into her room.

She had changed into pajamas and was sitting on the floor in the middle of her room with her head between her knees. Her back was to the door and he winced when he noticed the prominence of her spine through the thin material of her shirt. He could see her shoulders shaking from the quiet sobs still coming from her.

"Granger?" he called a little louder.

She whirled around so fast he heard her neck crack, and jumped to her feet, hands held out in front of her, as if telling him to stay back.

"What are you doing?" she yelled hoarsely. "My door was locked!"

His cheeks reddened, embarrassed, as he choked out an apology. "I'm sorry Granger. I knocked and then you unlocked your door. I just wanted to check on you."

"I didn't unlock anything!" she yelled frantically, eyeing her wand lying several feet away on the foot of her bed.

Draco's eyes lit up when he realized what had happened.

"Granger did you hear my knock?" he asked excitedly.

"Well, yes," she answered, throw off by his sudden change in demeanor.

"And what were you thinking right after I knocked?" he asked.

It was her turn to blush as she hung her head and whispered, "That I didn't want to be alone." and her eyes shot back to his. "But my wand was on my bed and I DIDN'T unlock my door," she said accusingly.

"Neither did I, Granger," he grinned at her, waiting for it to sink in. He counted the seconds silently. 'One... Two.. Three... Four...'

And then her eyes widened comically.

"Me!?" she squeaked out.

"You, Granger." And his grin widened.

And then she was smiling too. And her face was lit with wonder as she glanced back and forth between the door and her wand on the bed. "I did it?" she asked amazed. "I did it!" she exclaimed meeting his eyes once more.

And when she smiled at him like that He felt something tighten around his heart. Constricting and squeezing. Delightful and painful all at once. And then she ran across the room and threw her arms around his middle, pressing her face into his chest.

'Oh shit,' he thought to himself as he wrapped his arms around her small frame, pressing his face into her hair. It was in this moment he knew he was in too deep.