Chapter 3
APOV
José and I sit at the table drinking and talking about everything and anything. We reminisce about times in school and laugh; I haven't laughed like this in a long time.
Suddenly José stops and looks at me. "Ana, you were really into him weren't you?" My laughter stops and I can feel the tears well in my eyes. I can only manage a nod.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. It's just that you deserve better. You deserve someone who makes you happy and who wants to make you happy." He places his hand on top of mine and squeezes it.
I look at him and give him a smile. "José Rodriguez, let's get drunk and forget everything." He gives me a huge smile and goes to the bar and orders us some shots. I don't know how much later we stay there but by the time we leave I am so drunk I can barely walk straight.
"Ana, mija, let me walk you home, OK?" We walk together in silence back to my apartment with José occasionally having to keep me upright. We get to my door and I'm fumbling with my keys trying to unlock the door. José takes the keys from me and unlocks the front door. As he opens it he grabs my shoulders, "Are you going to be OK?"
I look up at him and nod. I don't know what happened next, but I am kissing José in hallway of my apartment. What am I doing? Do I want this? José runs one hand through my hair and places the other on the small of my back, holding me close to him. There's a quick break in the kiss and he whispers, "Oh, Ana. I've wanted this for so long."
I want to be loved. I want someone to want to show me affection and who wants to be with me. Maybe it is José. He walks me backwards inside the apartment and lays me down on the sofa on top of me. His strong, muscular arms are holding him above me still kissing me and not breaking contact. He moves from kissing my mouth to down my neck and back up. He's pressed to me so much I can easily feel his desire for me.
I don't feel that spark I had with Christian. But all I was to Christian was sex anyway and I know José cares for me. Maybe that spark will come later, maybe once I am with him I will feel differently about him.
José starts to quickly undo the buttons of my top, his hands caress my breasts. His mouth travels down my neck and to my breasts as he unhooks my bra and throws it on the floor. "My god, Ana." He continues to caress and suck on my breasts while his other hand starts to undo my pants.
I'm unable to think straight. I feel like I am on autopilot. He slips his hand into my jeans and past my panties, to there. "Ana, let me love you." He pulls my jeans off and fumbles to undo his. I still feel hazy and drunk from the bar.
Bright sun filters into the room. My head is pounding and I feel horrible. It takes me a moment to realize I'm in the living room on the couch. Next I feel someone squeeze me and I look next to me. Holy fucking shit. I've slept with José. What did I do?
I look over and José is awake. "Good morning, mija." He smiles and gives me a kiss. What did I get myself into? I'm not that kind of girl. Up until a few weeks ago I was a virgin. Now I'm getting drunk and sleeping with my friends. I get up, slipping on a t-shirt and some shorts, make some tea, and search to find where we put the Advil. José comes up behind me and wraps his arms around me.
"Ana, I'm sorry. I have to run. See you later?" José is slipping his jeans and shoes back on.
"Yeah, OK. I'll talk to you later."
He gives me a kiss on the cheek and is out the door.
Anastasia Rose Steele, what have you done? I'm glad Kate is coming back early today from Barbados; apparently, something happened at the resort and they decided to cut the trip short. I need to talk to her. I take the Advil, down a glass of orange juice and make my way to soak in the tub. I need to think this through.
I get my clothes ready for work tomorrow. Then, I lie down and take a nap.
"Ana! I'm home! Ana!" I wake up and am relieved to hear Kate's voice. I get out of bed and run to greet her.
"Kate! I missed you!" I give her a big hug. "How was the trip? Did you have fun?"
Kate goes to answer me and looks around the room. "Ana, what did you do here? Why are your clothes all over the living room?" Kate asks unable to hide a laugh.
I feel my stomach twist. "Kate, I did something bad. Really bad."
"Ana, I highly doubt that. What did you do?"
I look up at her and figure I might as well just get it out. "I got drunk and slept with José."
"What? Ana, for real?" I nod at her. "Does José know he's a rebound?"
"I don't know. We didn't do much… talking."
"Ana, maybe it's good. You need someone to take your mind of Mr. Control Freak and José is definitely a Steady Eddie."
"A what?"
"A Steady Eddie. You know, someone who isn't very exciting or anything but he'll always be there, he'll be consistent."
"Do I want a Steady Eddie?"
"We know what happened with Mr. Mogul. At least we know José really cares about you and he's not so hard on the eyes. Give it a shot. If it doesn't work then you'll know and can move on."
Well, I do have fun hanging out with José and that's not much different from dating. Well, except for the sex and stuff. Maybe if we take it slow my feelings for him will develop. People in arranged marriages fall in love so maybe this could work.
Kate is unpacking her suitcase in her room. "Oh, Ana! I'm throwing a birthday party for Elliot next weekend at his place. You should come."
"I don't know, Kate. I don't really want to see Christian." That's all I need is a reminder of my failure.
"Elliot said even though he invites Christian, he never shows up. So you'll be safe since Christian won't be there."
What a relief. Maybe I'll never have to see him again and I can bury the whole thing with him as a distant memory. "OK then. That sounds fun."
