Patrick's POV
What have I done? Oh god, what have I done? How could I do this? Have I suddenly become heartless? Have I?
I have been walking across an empty parking lot for ages now, trying to clear my mind.
I had to pull over because of the tears that blurred my vision. They appeared when our song came on the radio. I remember we used to dance to it all night long.
I stop and sit down next to my car on the ground. I bury my head in my hands and let the tears flow.
How could I do this, I ask myself again. I think this is the worst decision I've ever made. How could I ever think that this would be better?
I am probably the only one who is whining. I think Pete is just moving on with his life, he has better things to think about than his stupid ex-boyfriend who left him.
I remember that day like it was yesterday, even though two weeks have passed. Two weeks of traveling from city to city, finding places to sleep, and being stuck in my own mind.
I close my eyes and let the flashback take over.
"Pete?", I ask carefully as I see someone coming closer. I don't have my glasses on so I can only see a blurry figure.
"Who else?", the person says as he runs towards me and pulls me into a hug.
I bite my lip and push him back, softly. Pete looks confused, and also slightly offended.
I take a deep, shuddering breath and try to look my boyfriend in the eye, which isn't easy.
"Pat?", Pete asks. "What the hell is going on? Wh- why are you acting so strange?". I hear his voice break and so does my heart.
"I think we should be done", I say, deciding that it has to be easier after I've said it. I was oh-so-wrong.
Pete gasps for air, not saying anything. He takes a step back, like I have suddenly become another person.
"Why?", is the only thing he whispers.
"I don't want to hurt you, Pete", I say. "And this relationship won't work when I'm constantly afraid of hurting you like I did to so many others. You deserve better than me".
"But I don't want better than you!", Pete shouts in desperation. Tears start to roll down his cheeks, and I need to bite my tongue to stop my tears from falling too.
I lean forward and put my hands around his face. We press our lips together for one final kiss, and there is a ball of emotion in my throat that just won't go away. I thought it would be easier than this.
"Your lips feel cracked", is the only thing that I manage to say. Then I take a few steps back, letting go of his hand that I was holding tightly.
"Take care, Pete", I whisper as the ghost of a smile hints at my face. I turn around, and while hearing Pete sobbing violently, I get into my car.
As I look in my side mirror, I see him falling to the floor, but I refuse to get out again. I promised myself that I would be strong, so I will be. I start the engine and drive away, leaving Pete with no idea of how many damage I have done to him.
I shake my head, trying to fight the memories. The tears are starting to fall again, and I can do nothing to stop it. I'm an emotional wreck since I left him.
I look at my watch to see what time it is. 1 AM. I should probably get going.
I stand up to get in my car as I suddenly feel an immense pain ripping through my body. It is like I have been thrown out of a plane and smashed against the ground.
I fall to my knees, groaning and gasping for air. I try to curl up in a ball, in an attempt to make the pain stop, but it won't work.
"Pete... ", is the only thing I manage to say with my last breath. When that word has passed my lips, I lose consciousness.
As I open my eyes, I am still lying on the cold pavement of the parking lot. The sun is rising so I make myself stand.
I remember last night, the agonising pain flowing through my body. I still have no idea how it happened, because I feel perfectly fine right now.
Suddenly, my mind jerks awake. I feel an unknown need to call Pete. I don't care what I said or what I've done, I need to hear his voice to make sure he is okay.
I tap on the little icon with his name and some rubbish smileys next to it, and hold my breath as the phone is ringing.
"Hello?", a familiar voice says, although it is not the voice I wanted, nor the voice I expected, and this makes my heart beat in my throat.
"Uhm... Hello, miss Wentz", I stutter, suddenly awkward. "Is there any chance that I can talk to Pete?"
"Oh, my darling", Pete's mom whispers, and I can hear a sob in her voice. "Haven't you heard it?".
"No, I have not heard anything", I say terrified. "What the hell is wrong with Pete?".
"He... He committed suicide last night...", ms. Wentz manages to say in between her cries of sadness.
"The... The police found him, crashed on the street with..."
I drop the phone, as my muscles stop working. I can hear the voice of Pete's mother in the distance, but that doesn't matter.
I fall to my knees and let out a heartbreaking scream. I punch the concrete with my fists until they're bleeding, but that doesn't ease the pain that this news caused me.
Peter Lewis Kingston Wentz III is dead, and he is dead because of me.
A/N: Aaahh, cliffhanger! I hope you guys don't hate me after this, and I am sorry for any tears I have caused. It is currently 10:42 PM so I am writing this while I'm extremely tired, but I hope you'll like this chapter.
And please keep commenting, I really love to read those :)
~Panda
