Chapter 6
CPOV
I need to talk to Flynn. I need to figure out why I can't get Ana out of my system. He is back from his lengthy vacation and it hasn't come at a better time.
"Christian, how are you doing?"
"Well, John, truthfully I've been better. How was your trip?"
"It was nice. But, we're here to talk about you, Christian. What's on your mind today?"
"I met a girl."
"A new submissive?"
"No, that's the problem. She came to interview me for her college paper and literally fell into my office. She's an innocent, natural beauty. There was this current between us - like a magnetic force pulling us together. We both felt it. I wanted to make her a sub. I showed her a contract but, she was a virgin."
"Was a virgin?"
"Yes, I didn't know at first but she came to my apartment to have sex with me. She was my first with vanilla sex."
"And, how was that? Your first vanilla… achievement."
"Amazing. Ana even slept in bed with me." Flynn raises his eyebrows in surprise.
"She slept with you? Tell me about that."
"It was the first time I didn't have a nightmare. I liked it. And the following morning she met my mother."
"She met your mother?"
"I wanted her to. My mom almost walked in on us but there was something that made me want her to meet my mother. My mom has stopped by many times when I had a sub at the house but this time it was different."
"Christian, it sounds like a more traditional relationship with Ana. Did that satisfy you?"
"I don't know. I pursued her to be my sub. But she couldn't sign the contract. She didn't want to be my submissive. She said she wanted more. So whatever it was that we had ended."
"And how does that make you feel?"
"I hate it. She's dating someone else. I don't know what's going on with me. I can't stop thinking about her. She's all I think about."
"Christian, it sounds like you're in love."
"In love? John, don't be ridiculous. I can't love her. I can't love and I can't be loved."
"Christian, why is that so hard to believe? When you think about her, what do you most want to do?"
"I want to protect her. She has terrible self-preservation. I need to make sure she's safe."
"Christian, if you had it your way, would you be with her?"
"Of course."
"What if she didn't want to be your submissive, would you still want her?"
"Yes, I want her more than I want a sub; I'll take her any way I can get her. I just need to be with her."
"So Christian, then make it happen. If you don't want her to be, she doesn't have to be your submissive. They're your rules. You can make them or break them. If you want her and she doesn't want to be your submissive, then try something different. Try something that will make you both happy."
I walk home from Flynn's office thinking about how I can make things work between Ana and me. She wants heart and flowers, that's what I will give her. I know I have no idea what I'm doing or even if she is interested but I have to try.
I call Andrea to arrange the first part of my plan and then I contact Taylor for the second. I have to do this right. I only have one chance to get this right.
APOV
My first day at SIP went well. I think I'll fit in well there. Claire in reception is nice and friendly. My boss is nice, but a little strange. I'm sure it'll be fine. I get home and Kate is waiting for me with a pizza and beer. We have a nice little celebration for my first day at work. José has called me twice but I haven't returned his call. I don't know what to say to him or if I should tell him about the kiss. I don't want to hurt him but I don't know what to do.
Later on, Elliot stops over. Kate goes to her room to change and I offer him some pizza and beer. We sit and talk while she is getting ready. "So… Ana, did you have a good time at the party?" I quickly turn around so Elliot doesn't see my face. Holy shit. Does he know?
"Oh, um, yeah… it was nice. I had a good time. Thanks for inviting me." I quickly busy myself doing dishes.
"Yeah, I saw Christian yesterday and he seemed to have a good time too. Which is unusual since he normally hates these things. I wish I knew what makes this party different, it was good to see him like that."
Now it's obvious, Elliot knows. What do I do? Does Kate know? Did he see us? Did anyone else see us? "Elliot, I don't know what you think happened at the party but it was a mistake. It won't happen again."
"Are you sure about that? Christian didn't seem upset over it yesterday." I look up at Elliot and he smiles at me. "Look, I think José is a great guy but I think you need to do what makes you happy and I don't think he's it. That's all I'm going to say."
Kate comes out of her room, "Ready babe?"
Elliot gets up and goes over to Kate and gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Yup."
"Bye, Ana. Don't wait up." Kate smiles and gives me a devilish grin.
Elliot looks at me and winks, "Laters, Ana."
Is what Elliot said true? If so, this could change everything. If Christian has feelings for me and I do for him maybe something can work out. This only makes things harder for me. I think I need to tell José everything. I need to be honest with him and myself. I go back to my room and put my play list on shuffle. I need to think. I need to figure out what I want and what I need to do but deep down I already know the answer.
