Chapter 7
APOV
I've been doing a lot of thinking since Monday and I've decided I have to be honest with José. If I'm not sure how I feel about him, or about Christian, but I owe him the truth. I really care for José and I don't want to hurt him but I think I have to.
How should I do this? Call him? Take him out to dinner? I decide to Google, "How to tell your boyfriend you kissed someone else." Apparently, a lot of people have had this same problem. This is no help. I'll just go and see him when I know he's alone at the apartment. Suddenly a reminder pops up on my phone. José's show at Portland Place. Shit! Tomorrow is José's show. I can't hurt him now just before his big show. For someone with a 4.0 GPA, I'm not feeling very smart at the moment.
OK, I have a plan. We'll go to the show tomorrow and the next day I'll tell him. That way maybe the good news of the show will help with me telling him the bad news.
Thursday, June 9th
Today at work was so long. I don't know why I wanted it to move faster but I feel like I just need to get this over with. Kate, Elliot, and I arrive at the show just a little after it started. There's this woman with black hair and bright red lipstick at the front door handing out some type of pamphlets. I thank her, she looks at me and says, "Oh, hi, Ana! We're excited to get your take on this."
Kate looks at me with a look of confusion. "Do you know her?"
I look at her and shrug, "I've never met her before in my life. Maybe José told her to look for us or something." The three of us make our way through the gallery where we find José in the middle of a throng of people.
"Ana!" I hear him call my name. We go over to see him and Kate gives José a hug.
"We're so happy for you, José."
"Thanks, Kate. Hi Elliot." José reaches out and shakes Elliot's hand. Then he looks at me, "Hey beautiful. Babe…" Before he has a chance to tell me whatever it was, a photographer wants his picture. I try to stand out of the way but he pulls me into the picture with him.
"José! They need you upstairs for the article!" The woman from the front door calls to him. He smiles at her and looks at me.
"I have to go upstairs and do this. Walk around and have something to drink. I'll be down as soon as I can." He kisses me on the cheek and quickly disappears up the steps.
We continue to walk around the gallery looking at his work. He is quite talented and there are a lot of people here. We walk around the corner and suddenly there are seven gigantic black and white portraits of me. All close ups. We stop in our tracks.
I'm in shock and unable to speak. Kate just says, "Whoa." Elliot looks at us and says he must make a call about work and will be right back. As soon as he leaves, Kate turns to me, "I think he has more feelings for you than he's leading on."
I nod my head. This isn't making anything easier for me. "Kate once we're finished here can we leave. I feel… uncomfortable."
She quickly nods, "I'm right behind you." We walk around a little more making small talk while waiting for Elliot to return. "Ana, what were you and Elliot talking about the other day? It seemed so serious."
I look around the room to make sure no one is within ear shot. "Kate, I have something to tell you but you have to promise me you won't say a word about it to anyone."
"Wow, Steele. It must be big. So spill, you've got my promise."
"At Elliot's party, Christian and I got in an argument or something and we ended up kissing."
" .God! Is that why you left early? You weren't sick!"
"No, I wasn't. And I guess Elliot saw us or something because that's what he was talking to me about. He gave me the impression that Christian may still have feelings for me."
"That leaves you in a pickle, doesn't it? I mean, José is great and it's obvious he cares about you a lot. But it's also clear as day that you guys don't have the spark that you and Christian had. I thought maybe something could happen between you and José but now I see it won't. If Christian has feelings for you this changes everything."
I nod, "I know." Before we have the chance to say anything more, Elliot comes back. Kate looks at Elliot and smiles.
"Hey babe, how about we head back and grab something to eat?"
He looks at her, "Are you sure. Did you see everything?"
Kate quickly just says, "Yup. We're good, let's go."
Elliot stops her. "Don't we have to say goodbye to José."
"Right. Let's go. Come on, Ana."
Luckily José is busy when we find him so we have a quick goodbye. He tells me he'll text me tomorrow. Elliot drops Kate and I back at the apartment. As we walk into the apartment, Kate asks, "What are you going to do?"
"I have no choice, I have to tell him."
Friday, June 10th
I've been trying to avoid José all morning but I have to answer him. Around lunch time I text him back.
*The show looked great. See you after work at your place?*
*It went really well. All UR pics sold. :-). My place sounds good. C U L8tr*
OK, so tonight it is. Tonight I will tell him that Christian and I kissed. After that, whatever happens is out of my control. I created this drama so I will have to deal with the aftermath.
The day has been dragging and I know why. I just want to get out of here and get it over. I love José but I'm not sure I am in love with him. I can't continue to do this anymore - I can't keep secrets from him.
Around 2 pm my boss, Jack comes up to me. "Hey Ana. How has your first week been so far?"
I give him a smile, "So far so good, Jack. Thanks."
"A few of us are getting together for happy hour after work today. Let me buy you a drink to celebrate."
"I'm sorry, Jack. I can't. I have plans."
"Oh. Is it your boyfriend?"
His question takes me off guard and it takes me a moment to gather my wits. "Um, it's complicated. But thanks, though."
At 5:30 I say goodbye to Jack and Claire and I head over to Mark's, where José is living. Luckily, it's close by and I can walk. I get to the building and ring the buzzer to be let in.
