Chapter 9

APOV

Elliot comes back to us looking pissed off. "What's wrong, babe?" Kate asks him.

"It's just way too crowded here I've almost had beer spilled on me twice already. Let's go back to my place. I have left over beer and we can play cards or something." We all look at each other and decide that it's a good idea.

Kate and Elliot leave in his pickup and Ethan drives me. We get to his place and head inside. Elliot gets us each a beer. He then shouts over to Ethan. "Hey Ethan, I have more cases of beer in the garage. Help me carry them in?"

Ethan gets up and follows Eliot to the garage. About five minutes later they come back with a couple of cases of beer. I don't think we're going to drink that much, at least I hope.

We're just sitting around talking when Elliot's doorbell rings. He goes to answer it and walks in with Christian. My heart stops. I didn't expect this, but that's what I get for hanging out with his brother.

A few minutes later, Ethan looks at Elliot and says, "Hey guys. My friend just texted me and needs my help. I gotta run." Ethan leaves pretty quickly so it's just Elliot, Christian, Kate and me.

Elliot hands Christian a beer and he sits down at the table with us. I can't think clearly with Christian this close to me. I can smell him. He smells so good. We're making small talk for a little while, Kate taking center stage to my relief.

We get on the subject of movies and Elliot mentions he got an early screening of the new X-Men movie from a friend and he has the DVD. Kate's eyes light up. She's always had a thing for Hugh Jackman. "Ohhh… Can we watch?"

Elliot shrugs, "Sure, I guess." We all follow him into the living room. Kate snuggles up with Elliot leaving the only remaining seat next to Christian. I feel like this is a setup but I have no proof.

Christian moves over so I can sit next to him. He looks at me with his gray, seductive eyes. My stomach is doing somersaults. "Ana, how are you?"

Tell him you're terrible! Tell him you can't get him off your mind! Tell him no one makes you feel like he does! "I'm fine, Christian. Thank you. How are you?" My politeness wins over.

"I'm much better, now." I flush and clear my throat. We sit through the movie and Christian is the perfect gentleman. I end up leaning against him while he softly rubs my back. Why couldn't it be like this with him all the time?

The movie is finished and I'm tired. I'm getting my purse when I realize Ethan was my ride. Shit, Kate isn't coming back until tomorrow morning. Christian offers to drive me home. We're in the car headed home and the charge between us is filling the space. Neither of us utters a word for a few minutes. Finally, Christian speaks. "Ana, I'm sorry for how I behaved on Saturday. It's just that I'm out of my league here and I don't know how to act." He takes a deep breath and I don't respond. "I'd like to try us again, Anastasia."

"Christian, there was no us. There was a contract and I didn't sign it." I feel like yelling that this is all his fault because he told me if I said no that was it for us.

"I don't want a contract. I thought we could, I don't know… try dating." He sounds nervous and I'm not sure I hear him correctly.

"What?"

"I want to date you. I want to give you more." The sudden realization hits me. Of course...

"Christian, it's just because I'm with José. If I wasn't, you wouldn't be saying that."

"Do you love him?"

"Christian, that's none of your concern. I can't be what you want and you can't be what I need. That's the fundamental issue with us. We'll never get over it."

Christian pulls up outside my apartment and shuts his car off. He turns to me, "Anastasia, you are what I want. Look, I made a mistake by letting you go."

I feel tears starting, "Christian, please. I can't do this right now." I don't want to cry in front of him. I already feel like an idiot.

"Ana…" he reaches across and takes my hand, the electric current is just as strong as ever. "...promise me you'll think about it. About us." He then takes my hand and kisses it.

I shake my head and get out of his car. Why is this happening? I can't deal with it. I go straight to my room and lie on the bed. I don't know what I want to do. I don't even know if José and I are still together. And then Christian, making his declaration to me. It's just because he's jealous, isn't it? Nothing else has changed.

I lie there in the dark for, I don't know how long. Then I hear a text come through. I pick up my phone and it's from José.

*I'm sorry for what I said. I was upset. Please tell me you'll think about a future with us.*

I close my eyes and groan. I don't know what to do here. They're killing me. I need to do some introspection and figure out what I really want.

Kate and I are in Neiman Marcus and there is a huge shoe sale. I find these gorgeous, sexy pair of Christian Louboutin heels. I love them but I don't have anywhere to wear them. I try them on and they make my legs look fantastic but they are a little tight. If I wear them out, I'll most likely get blisters.

I also find a pair of TOMS. They are so soft and comfortable. They feel like slippers but they are kind of boring and I really want to take advantage of this great sale. I check my wallet and I only have the money for one.

I keep looking back and forth between the shoes trying to make a decision. But as soon as I think I pick one pair I realize I like the other too. The clerk comes up to me and asks if she can ring me up. I tell her that I'm trying to pick which ones I want the most. She looks at me and says, "You can only pick one."

I look at her, "But I like them both."

She looks at me tersely, "Just one, Ana."

"Ana!"

"Ana!"

Suddenly I'm in my room and there's bright sun everywhere. What is going on? I look up and it's Kate. "Ana! I've been trying to wake you up for the longest time. You have a delivery. Come on!"

I get up, put on my robe, and follow Kate out to the living room. On our breakfast bar is the most beautiful arrangement of white roses I have ever seen. They smell so wonderful and there isn't a blemish on a single one. I look at the card.

Thank you for a wonderful night, Anastasia.

Please consider what I said.

Thinking of you,

Christian

Kate looks at me and smiles. "He's totally into you, Ana!"

"No, he is just jealous since he saw me with José."

"But do you feel a spark with José?"

"Well…"

"The answer is no. Ana, life is short. I was wrong when I told you to choose the Steady Eddy. Pick who makes you feel good when you're together."

"Kate, why does this have to be so hard?"

She looks at me and smiles, "It wouldn't be a life worth living otherwise. Come on, let's go get some pancakes."