Chapter 11
CPOV
I thought it went well but I am disappointed Ana wanted to go home right after dinner. I don't understand why it's so hard for her to make a decision. I meant it when I told her that she wouldn't have gone with me if she didn't want to be with me.
So, now I have to compete with José fucking Rodriguez for her. This is probably why I've never chased after a woman. But Ana isn't just any woman. She's worth it.
I need to think about this. What is it that José is giving to Ana that I'm not? If I can do that then she'll have no choice but to choose me. How do I find out? I can't exactly ask her. I need help with this but I don't know who to ask. I am so far out of my league here.
Maybe I should email her and thank her for coming to dinner with me to get some type of idea.
To: asteele
From: cgrey
Re: Tonight
Dear Anastasia,
Thank you for coming to dinner with me tonight. I had an extraordinary time with you. I apologize for coming on too strong with you in the car. The last thing I want to do is upset you. But, like I said before, I am so far out of my league I don't know what to do.
Why is it that I have no problem meeting with the heads of major international companies to negotiate mergers and acquisitions but I have no idea how to talk to you? Ever since I met you that day in my office I knew you were different. I was immediately attracted to you but I also tried to warn you to stay away from me.
I am a reprehensible person and you are faultless, captivating, and virtuous. I could never forgive myself if I caused you any pain and I can't promise you that I won't. But in the same token, I can't stay away from you. I am a moth and you are the blazing flame.
I just ask you give me a chance. I know you want more and I am willing to try. I won't always get it right, but I will try. Don't deny yourself because you're scared of what you don't know. Please think about it.
I would love to take you out again later this week.
Sincerely,
Christian Grey
CEO, Grey Enterprise Holdings
Do I sound too pathetic? Fuck it, I don't care. I guess now I just wait for her answer.
APOV
I get home after my dinner with Christian. He was like a different person. He talked and laughed and was relaxed. He didn't seem nearly as intimidating as I thought he was before. I had a really good time which isn't making my decision any easier.
Kate walks up to me. "So? How was it?"
I can't help but smile. "It was good. At first, it was tense and awkward but we started talking and it was so natural. I don't know, Kate."
"Well, just to make things harder, José dropped this off for you." Kate hands me two small boxes. I open one and it's chocolates. Kate makes me laugh when she quickly takes a chocolate from the box. I open the second box and it's a picture of José and me from junior year. On the back he wrote, 'Look how good we are together.' I look at Kate and she looks back at me, neither of us sure of how to respond. "Wow, Ana. They're fighting over you."
"I know and it's driving me crazy. I don't know what to do."
"I think you should date them both. You will at some point figure out who you want."
"I can't do that, Kate. I don't want to hurt either of them."
"I know you don't want to hurt either of them and neither of them wants to share you so you're going to have to pick. All those magazines I have aren't just for fashion, they gave me a lot of insight into men too. Instead of thinking about Christian or José, think about how you are when you are with them. Which Ana do you like the best? I think that would be the best way to make the decision. You don't have to decide right now. If they both like you as much as they say, they will wait; but not for too long."
"Katherine Kavanagh, how did you get so adept at this relationship stuff?"
"Easy, I dated a lot of guys and read Cosmo!" Kate and I both crack up laughing. We share the last of the chocolates in the box.
I'm tired and I need to take a break from all this. "Kate, I think I'm going to take a bath and then go to bed."
Kate is turning off the TV and tidying up, "Have a good night, Ana Banana."
I blow her a kiss and make my way to the bathroom. I fill the tub with warm water and lavender bath oil. I lie in the tub and close my eyes to relax. My thoughts drift to the bath Christian and I shared the morning after my first time. Whew! I better stop thinking about that. How is he such a sex god? Gah!
I finish my bath and feel totally relaxed. I'm in my comfortable pjs, but before I go to sleep I better check my email. I open my Gmail, immediately glad Claire at work showed me how to forward my work email to my other account, and there is a long email from Christian. I didn't expect that. I have to read through it twice. Is this the same Christian? How does he go from cold Dom to vulnerable and open? And, which Christian do I want?
Do I want Christian either way or do I want José? José is charming and sweet, and I know he won't hurt me, but there's no adventure no… spark.
Kate said to think about how I am when I am with them. With José I am content. I know what to expect, I'm comfortable. When I'm with Christian I feel alive and exposed. Being with him is precarious - it could go either way in an instant. So I guess it boils down to how much of a risk am I willing to take? How much of myself am I willing to give up? That's the deciding factor.
