REWRITTEN: August 10th 2015


Chapter 9

Dog's Breakfast

November arrived, bringing with it not only harsh winds and non-stop rain, but also piles upon piles of homework. When Harry wasn't busy writing essays, studying with his friends or braving the cold down on the Quidditch pitch, he was either meeting with the DA or secluding himself away in empty classrooms to work on the Dark curses in his little black book.

His friends were similarly busy, with their studies and the Slytherin Club meetings, and Harry couldn't help but feel a growing distance between them. Even if the others didn't know it, they now had separate groups they spent time with.

After the initial excitement had died down, Theo and Blaise had stopped telling him what was going on in their meetings, and of course Harry couldn't tell them anything about the DA (Granger had reluctantly admitted too hexing the parchment with some kind of secrecy charm).

"Alright, that's it for today!" His Captain's voice brought Harry out of his thoughts. The others looked relieved - some even had a smile on their blue lips – and sped towards the changing rooms. Harry though had different plans.

"I want to fly a little longer," he said, trying to calm his chattering teeth. They had trained for two hours, and Harry, just like his teammates, was freezing and wet, and fantasizing of hot showers and warm meals… But he still needed an alibi for the DA meeting he was about to attend.

"You're crazy," Miles said, descending more slowly than the other players. "Nobody in their right mind wants to stay out here."

Ice rain pelting against his face, Harry forced a smile. "Yeah, but I want to try a move I saw Krum perform last year. And now's a good a time as any."

Miles shook his head. "Whatever man. Just don't get sick, or Montague's gonna have your head."

Harry flew loops in the air, pretending to warm up for some spectacular move, until the others had finally disappeared in the distance. Then he sped towards Hogwarts, heading for a specific window on the third floor.

Of course the window was shut, and Harry spent several minutes hovering in the air in front of it, prying his stiff fingers off his broom in order to take his wand out of his inner pocket.

"Alohomora."

He landed right in front of the single door on the third floor, sighing in relief as the warmth of the castle enveloped him. He opened the trap door, but didn't conjure a ladder. Instead he nose-dived down the narrow shaft on his broom, enjoying the wind in his face, the thrill of speed… It was over too soon.

Shouldering his broom, Harry marched down the passage. He heard steps, two people walking not far ahead of him.

"…talked to my mum yesterday. She told me again to steer clear of Umbridge - what with her working for the Ministry and all. I really don't want to get my family in trouble." A girl was talking, her voice full of reproach.

"I understand, Marietta, I really do. My parents don't want me to get on her wrong side either… But..."

"Cedric," the first girl said flatly.

The other girl had to be Cho Chang then, Harry concluded, Cedric Diggory's ex-girlfriend.

Their talk reminded Harry of the first Hogsmeade weekend, and the conversation he had overheard back then. How one of the girls hadn't even wanted to attend the first meeting in the Hog's Head because her parents were employed by the Ministry.

"Potter? Is that you?"

Harry looked up. The girls had turned around and were waiting for him.

"Yes. Hi," he said. He hurried to catch up with them, and they walked the rest of the way together.

Like always, Harry enjoyed the practice, but felt underwhelmed by the spells they performed. He had become better at anticipating his opponents next steps, and was actually – if he said so himself – one of the most talented duellists in the DA.

This achievement motivated him. Not only to give his best in every duel, but also to keep practicing Dark Magic by himself – even if it could get a bit lonely at times. He could only imagine what he'd be able to do in a duel where all kinds of magic were fair game…

At a quarter to nine they vanished the cushions and extinguished the torches.

"Why is it that we don't practice more advanced stuff?" Harry asked Hermione on the way back to the trap door.

Today, once again, they had mainly concentrated on Stunners, Disarming Charms and the likes.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, more offensive magic, something that could be useful in a fight. I mean… you are preparing to defend yourself against Death Eaters, right?"

At that Longbottom, who was walking ahead of them, turned around.

"You said it right there. It's about defending ourselves, not about hurting others."

"You are aware that the other side won't have the same compunctions?"

"We learn spells to temporarily disable our opponents, to disarm them, to stun them; that's enough. We don't need more painful weapons," Longbottom argued back.

Harry didn't agree. A fight was also a show of power. If you could make your enemies fear you, you could win a duel before it even started. But simple Stunning and Disarming Spells wouldn't gain you any respect.

"Also," Longbottom said, more quietly, "I know what kind of books you read during the holidays, and that's just not the kind of magic we want to practice here. We are all still under age, some in fourth year or younger… I know our name might suggest otherwise, but it was only a joke. We're not trying to build an army. We just want to make sure everybody can survive, can defend themselves."

At that Harry couldn't help but think of his own housemates, who were probably practicing Dark curses to hurt or even permanently incapacitate as they spoke. In comparison, these people seemed woefully unprepared. He just didn't know yet if that was a good for him or not, if he would be fighting alongside or against them.

When he returned to the dorm room Harry was surprised to find Theo lying on his bed, reading a book. He should be at the Slytherin club meeting right now.

"Hey," said Harry as he knelt down besides his bed to store his Firebolt beneath it. Theo didn't answer.

"Something up?" Harry sat down on his bed and looked at his best friend. Theo had stopped reading and was scrutinizing Harry carefully.

A few seconds went by before he finally spoke, "Where were you?"

Harry gestured towards his Firebolt. "Out. Flying."

"Where?" Theo asked.

"Outside," Harry said slowly, wondering why Theo was looking at him so strangely. "Near the forest."

"Between forest and Quidditch pitch?"

The course of their conversation was starting to worry him. He'd used the flying excuse a few times as an explanation for his disappearances already, but never before had Theo asked about his whereabouts in detail. His insides twisted. He had a really bad feeling about this.

"Around there," he answered evasively.

"Really." Theo sat up and stretched his arms. "Want to know something funny?"

Harry pursed his lips. It sounded like a rhetorical question.

"No?" said Theo, eyes fixed on Harry. "Well let me tell you anyway. You know today there was supposed to be a meeting with the duelling club but the room we normally use was unavailable. When we came back here the guys said you were still out flying. So I grabbed my broom and went to join you."

Harry's stomach dropped. Shit. He opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Theo continued unperturbed, not taking his eyes off Harry for once.

"So I went outside, to the Quidditch pitch first, but to my surprise – no Harry there. I thought maybe you were closer by the forest and when I couldn't find you there, I went to the lake. But guess what? I couldn't find you anywhere. Funny, don't you think? Considering that you just came back from 'around there'."

"Theo-" Harry tried, but was cut off swiftly.

"Where were you really Harry? Today and every other evening you were gone?"

Theo's voice still sounded a bit off and Harry suspected that he was currently fluctuating between anger and worry. It would be easy to make up another lie and calm Theo down.

Harry looked at his friend, at the expression of hurt and betrayal in his eyes… He couldn't do it. This was his best friend. He cursed Granger and her stupid jinxed parchment, and his own rashness on top of that.

"I trust you, more than anyone else. But I simply can't tell you.

Theo closed his book and sat up. "You can't tell me, or you don't want to?"

Harry sighed. "I literally can't."

"What do you mean 'you can't'? Is someone threatening you?"

Shaking his head, Harry wondered how to best explain the situation.

"I can't tell you because-" Harry paused, not sure how much he could say without triggering the jinx "-because I promised not to, and there are consequences for breaking this promise."

Vague as hell, but he couldn't to any better.

"You can't tell me because you promised? How honourable of you." Theo was getting angry. Definitely not what he intended.

"No, because there're magical consequences. Otherwise I'd tell you in a heartbeat, you know that." Harry tried to pacify his friend.

"Magical consequences? What the fuck?" Theo's eyes had widened in shock. "Why would- whom did you make that kind of promise to?"

Harry buried his face in his hands. Not for the first time he wished he knew more details about the jinx. He didn't think he could answer Theo's question without consequences.

"I can't tell," Harry repeated. He thought hard, trying to figure out how much he could reveal. Then he realised it. A slow smile spread across Harry's face.

"But I don't have to tell you Theo, because you already know. I already told you!"

"What?" Theo wrinkled his forehead in confusion. "I thought you couldn't tell."

"Yeah now I can't, but I told you before I made that promise. Think Theo. I told you right after the Hogsmeade weekend."

Harry grinned. He really should have thought of this earlier. It was so simple!

"Are you trying to tell me that this has something to do with Longbottom's Defence Club?"

The venom in Theo's voice caught Harry by surprise.

"Are you trying to tell me you are a member of that club?"

Perplexed Harry nodded. "I-, yes, I-"

Theo laughed hollowly. "Merlin. Draco was right. All of them were right. And here I was, trying to convince them otherwise, telling them that they were wrong about you, when in reality, they were right all along."

"They weren't right all along. I didn't join them because I wanted to-"

"Oh, so they made you join them? Excuse me if I find that hard to believe," Theo sneered.

Harry stood up. He was not about to let Theo walk all over him.

"No, they didn't make me join, our own housemates did when they kicked me out of the Slytherin club before it even started! I've got to learn how to duel, I was backed into a corner and I came up with a solution. I'm not sorry for that."

Theo only shook his head. "I can't believe you did that. I warned you. I went against my father's direct orders to warn you." Theo had left his bed and was pacing up and down the room, agitated.

"Exactly! You told me how serious the situation already was. You told me that the Dark Lord is already preparing for a war. What was I supposed to do?" Harry had raised his voice. This, this was just unfair. Theo had no right to judge him.

"Keep your bloody head down, that's what you were supposed to do!" Theo spat furiously. "All I ever told you was to make sure not to stand out. But it's like you want to get noticed. Is that it? Is this about your parents? Do you hope that a few lessons with Longbottom will help you avenge them?"

Harry stared at his friend open mouthed, too shocked to formulate a response.

"Well I've got news for you Harry. This is the bloody Dark Lord we're talking about, and unless Longbottom has a secret recipe for defeating Dark Lords hidden up his sleeve, you won't stand a chance!" Theo nearly shouted the last sentence; his face had taken on an angry shade of red.

"Did you just drag my parents into this?" Harry's voice was shaking with rage. "I told you that I make my own decisions. I told you that I won't let the past determine my future. But you don't believe me, do you? You don't believe me because you're unable to do the same. I see the way you look at Susan Bones. Like you blame her-"

"Her uncle killed my mother!"

"And Death Eaters killed her family in return!"

"Yes, poor Susan Bones and her poor poor family. They're all saints aren't they? As opposed to my mother who got what she deserved. She had to be a murdering bitch, she was a Nott after all."

"Oh don't be such a bloody moron. That's not what I think and you know it!"

"Yeah right. Up until an hour ago I also thought I knew you wouldn't run off to Longbottom the moment things got a bit complicated."

"I didn't run off. I had a problem and this was the only solution I could come up with."

"You should've come to me," Theo said. "I even offered to duel with you! There was no need for you to go to Neville freaking Longbottom."

"Oh please Theo! You were bored out of your mind every time we trained. And the duelling? After two sessions we could predict each other's moves perfectly! We know each other too well. If I want to get better I have to duel against different people. And that's what Longbottom offers."

"So it's about who offers you more?" Theo looked at him with a stony expression. "Well, I hope you're happy with Longbottom. Don't come crawling back to me when they screw you over."

Theo turned around and walked to the door. He stood there for a moment, back turned to Harry, his hand already resting on the door handle.

"They will, you know. Screw you over, that is. You set yourself up as the perfect scapegoat."

Theo didn't slam the door when he left. He closed it quietly, which disturbed Harry more than the expected show of anger.

Harry slumped onto his bed, feeling more exhausted now than he had after and hour of duelling.

He had no idea what Theo was going to do now. He'd hardly ever seen his friend this angry. Would he tell the others?

Harry brought his fist down hard onto his bed repeatedly, but punching the soft mattress didn't give him any satisfaction.

Theo had been gone for a few minutes by now, maybe he'd already told the others. Harry could imagine it vividly. Theo's heated face, his outraged expression. Malfoy's superior I-told-you-so smirk.

Normally he'd feel ridiculous for even considering that Theo would tell on him, but they'd never fought before, not like this.

Shit.

"What's going on with you two?" Blaise whispered, as they were on the way to the Great Hall for dinner the next evening.

"I don't know what you mean," Harry answered lightly.

"Oh please. Like I would believe that." Blaise rolled is eyes. "You and Theo have been avoiding each other all day. Didn't speak a single word. That hasn't happened since… well, ever."

"We had a fight. We'll get over it," said Harry firmly, trying to convince not only Blaise but also himself of the truth of his statement.

In reality, he didn't really know where he stood with Theo.

When he awoke this morning and didn't find himself a pariah in Slytherin house, he knew that Theo at least hadn't shared the news, but nothing more. Theo didn't take his usual seat beside him in classes, didn't talk to him during the breaks, in fact hadn't even once looked at him all day.

On one hand Harry just wanted things to go back to normal. He wanted to go to Theo, apologize for keeping the DA a secret for so long and assure him that he would never attend another meeting if that was what it took to mend their friendship.

He wouldn't do that, though. Because on the other hand Theo had completely overreacted, had no right to be this angry with Harry for taking things in his own hands, and had not yet apologized for dragging Harry's parents into the mess.

Theo was the only person Harry ever talked to about his parents, he should have known better.

In an effort to shut his brain up he stuffed a spoon full of meat pie into his mouth without a second thought and nearly yowled in pain a moment later. The stuffing was boiling hot. Angrily Harry left the table.

"Hey, where are going?" Blaise called after him.

"Out," said Harry without looking back. He hurried downstairs, went past the Slytherin common room and only stopped once he'd reached an abandoned classroom off the usual tracks.

"Flagellum," Harry spat and a huge fire whip darted from his wand.

He stayed in the room until it was close to curfew, casting the same curses over and over again, trying to get rid of his anger. By the end of it, his casting had improved visibly. He retired to his bed exhausted but satisfied.

...

Two days passed without much changing. Theo went out of his way to avoid Harry and Harry didn't seek his friend out either. Their fight affected him more then he liked to admit, but he refused to give in. Theo was the one who had initiated this stupid silent treatment, so it was Theo who should come to him if he wanted it to stop.

The other Slytherins had of course realised that something was up, but were considerate enough not to badger them with questions. All but one, that is.

"Hey Harry." Daphne fell into step with him. "Quidditch training?" she said, scrunching up her nose as she looked at Harry's rain drenched uniform. It had been pouring down all morning.

"Yeah. Last one before the match."

"Why do you even train? Weasley's their Keeper, it's not like you can lose."

Harry chuckled. "Better safe than sorry. Just imagine if we lost to Weasley."

"That'd be painful," Daphne agreed. "So… Theo told us why you're fighting."

Harry stomach dropped. Then he remembered whom he was talking to. If he had to choose one word to describe Daphne, cunning would be on the forefront of his mind. Closely followed by nosy.

"He did?" Harry said, testing the waters.

"Yes," she said. "Told us everything. Doesn't make you look too good."

"So what do you want from me then?" Harry asked. He doubted she was telling the truth. Theo wouldn't do that to him. In a fit of anger he might have told, but days after the event? Not likely.

"I don't believe it's entirely your fault. There are always two sides to a fight."

"You don't believe what happened is my fault?"

"So far I only know Theo's side, but I'm sure he's just as much to blame as you are, if not more. I always liked you."

Theo to blame that Harry had joined the DA?

Harry laughed out loud. "Does this ever work for you?"

Daphne smiled innocently. "I've no idea what you're talking about."

"Oh come on, Daphne. We both know Theo didn't say a thing."

"Well, damn. It was worth a try though. You two are annoyingly secretive," she grumbled.

"So this, um, 'strategy' of yours, does it ever work?" Harry asked again, his lips still twitching.

"Sure does."

"Really?"

"Sometimes," she conceded.

"With Crabbe and Goyle?"

"Don't be an idiot. I wouldn't need a strategy to get Crabbe and Goyle to spill their guts."

"Probably," Harry agreed. When the common room came into view Daphne tried again.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk? I'm a very good listener."

"And an even better gossiper. I'll have to pass on that one."

Sometimes that girl was unbelievable. He'd just caught her in a lie and she didn't care at all. No shame.

She pouted. "You wound me."

"I'm sure," Harry replied drily.

He headed up the stairs to the dorm room to retrieve his Transfiguration books. The course load McGonagall piled on them had tripled this year. Apparently 'preparation for the O.W.L.s' gave all their teachers an excuse to bury them neck-deep in work.

Harry deposited his things on the only free desk in the library and headed for the Transfiguration shelves. He needed additional books for this homework. When he returned to his workplace, another person was sitting there too. Harry took the free seat opposite the girl.

"Hey," he whispered in greeting.

Padma Patil looked up, eying the books he was carrying. "Hi. Transfiguration?"

Harry nodded. They worked alongside each other silently. On Harry's side the pile of discarded books grew fast; not one held the information he needed. After some time Padma pushed a thick, leather-bound tome towards him.

"The last paragraph," she said, her red-varnished nail tapping on left page of the open book.

Harry skimmed the text. It was very useful indeed.

"Thanks," he said. She was a member of the DA, but he hadn't talked to her before.

She smiled.

Harry tried to return to his work, but he couldn't get Padma's smile out of his head. More than once he caught himself staring.

Her dark hair was tied back securely in a braided plait, but a few strands of hair had fallen out. She played with them while she worked, twirling them between manicured fingers. She had a habit of furrowing her brows and chewing at the end of her quill while she read through, what Harry suspected were, especially complicated sections.

After two hours Harry had to admit that he wouldn't get done much today. When his thoughts didn't stray to Padma, they circled around Theo, or wandered to the upcoming Quidditch match against Gryffindor.

He tried for another hour and only gave up when dinnertime approached. He packed his things; Padma did the same.

"Was the book helpful?" Padma asked once they'd left the library behind.

"Yes, thanks. Far more than any other I found."

"Tell me about it. I went through hundreds of them yesterday. You'd think McGonagall would give us at least some clue where to look."

"I bet she takes pleasure from making things as complicated as possible. 'Serious application' and all that rot," Harry agreed.

"Oh did she give you that speech too?" Padma grinned. "'You cannot pass an O.W.L. without serious application, practice and study,'"she repeated McGonagall's start of the term speech.

"That was a frighteningly good imitation." Harry's mood had already brightened.

She laughed. It was a warm, friendly sound.

"Will you be watching the game tomorrow?" Harry asked.

"Of course. I wouldn't miss seeing you win. Just don't tell Parvati. She thinks it's my sisterly duty to route for Gryffindor."

"I'd never," Harry said, giving her his best 'I'm trustful'-expression, big eyes and all.

She sniggered.

"So you think we'll win?" he added, satisfied by how assured she'd sounded.

"Of course. You're a brilliant flyer." There was that smile again.

"Thanks." Harry had the feeling he should say something more, but the right words just wouldn't come to him.

"I've got to head up to the common room before dinner," Padma said, gesturing towards her book bag. She tiptoed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Good luck tomorrow, even if you don't need it."

"Thanks," Harry repeated, feeling increasingly stupid as watched her disappear behind the next corner. Where were his conversational skills when he needed them?

During dinner Harry watched her from his place at the table. She was sitting with the other Ravenclaws, talking to her friends, wildly gesticulating with both hands. He'd love to know what she was saying.

"Everything all right, Harry?" Blaise asked from across the table.

"What? Yes, yes. Why?" Harry said, taking his eyes off Padma.

Blaise smirked. "You were grinning like a loon."

"Oh? Well, the-" Harry looked down at his plate "-the chicken is really good today. Makes me happy."

"The chicken makes you happy?" Blaise repeated, his eyes twinkling with mirth. "Sure."

The tension was palpable in the changing room, and especially visible in the members of the Slyhterin club. Harry felt Montague's eyes on him, saw the muscles in his jaw twitch whenever he met his stare, and knew the Captain must be itching to give him a piece of his mind.

"Potter, a word."

He really should have taken Divination, he was a natural, Harry thought as he followed Montague into the Captain's office.

"Close the door," Montague said, and then, face screwed up into an expression of distaste, "please."

Harry tried not to smirk, he could hardly believe it, but Montague actually seemed nervous.

"Listen Potter, I'm not trying to threaten or blackmail you but... I- There are rumours concerning you, as I'm sure you're aware, about you fraternising with Longbottom and his posse."

Fraternising?!

"Just… no matter our differences, you're still a member of Slytherin. If we win, you win. If the Gryffindors win, sure they'll be thankful to you for a time, but… in the end its one house against another, unrelated stuff just shouldn't be brought into it."

Harry didn't know whether to be insulted or amused. They actually thought he'd lose the game on purpose? Out of some misguided – and fucking inexistent – loyalty to Longbottom?

He sighed, supremely irritated but also resigned. "I told you once, and I'll tell you again, I'm not a snitch or traitor or whatever, I don't fraternise with Longbottom. I'll do my best to win this game. Not because of your abysmal attempt to persuade me, but because I'm a Slytherin and I want my house to win."

When they returned to the changing room, the others were calmer, probably thinking Montague had threatened him into submission.

If he didn't want to win the cup so badly, he'd consider losing the game on purpose, just to make a point.

Not ten minutes later, Montague lead them out onto the pitch, and even as the Captains shook hands, the crowd was already going wild.

"WEASLEY IS OUR KING…"

Resounded from the Slytherin stands, a multitude of voices rolling out their battle song.

A chill of excitement ran down Harry's spine. He could hear his blood pumping in his ears, almost drowning out the noise, felt his heart beating in time with it.

Harry pushed off the ground, leaving behind anger and irritation. It just wasn't important, not now. He circled the pitch looking for the Snitch, but was in no hurry to catch it. Weasley made it easy for his teammates to score. The Slytherins were already leading.

"HE ALWAYS LETS THE QUAFFLE IN…"

He didn't like to admit it but the song had been a brilliant idea on Malfoy's part. The louder the crowd sang and shouted, the worse Weasley played.

"WEASLEY IS OUR KING."

Suddenly Ginny Weasley dived, her red hair blowing in the wind like a scarlet Gryffindor banner. Harry followed. He'd kept close to the youngest Weasley for the better part of the game. She was more motivated to make a quick catch, and he couldn't allow that.

The ground was approaching rapidly. Harry tried to look past her, but her hair was obscuring his vision. He urged his broom to fly faster – he should have been more attentive before, damn it – and soon his Firebolt caught up with her slower broom. Only there was no Snitch. She'd tricked him.

The moment he drew level with her she pulled upwards and Harry sped up as well. He scored the field looking for the Snitch. Then he saw it, a quick blink of gold reflecting the sunlight, right next to Montague's arm. Harry flattened on his broom and sped across the pitch.

"Angelina has the Quaffle. Pass to Alicia…"

Harry heard robes fluttering in the wind behind him. Ginny was chasing after him. He was closer now, nearly there… suddenly a Bludger appeared out of nowhere and Harry swayed to the right. A pained cry told him that his pursuer hadn't been quick enough.

He was on the other side of the field now and tried to locate the Snitch again. He scrutinized Montague carefully. Maybe it was hiding behind him?

The sun broke through the sky once more and Harry saw the golden reflection again. Only this time he realised that it wasn't the Snitch but Montague's watchstrap. He groaned in frustration. Well it hadn't been completely for nothing. Ginny Weasley was injured now, which would hopefully work in his favour.

"WEASLEY WAS BORN IN A BIN…"

He was close to the Slytherin stands, and the noise was deafening. His friends were waving at him, shouting at the top of their lungs. Even Theo.

Out of the corner of his eye Harry saw something golden again. He turned in its direction and this time it really was the Snitch, in all its golden, fluttery glory. Ginny Weasley was closer, but she hadn't caught sight of it yet.

Harry dived, hoping that his sudden action would gain him a moment of surprise with Ginny. He was close, only a few more seconds-

A shoulder bumped into his. Ginny Weasley was beside him; they were flying head to head. Harry stretched his arm out, Ginny did the same. He needed to be faster, only a little bit faster; they were both so close now. Harry pushed to the right, trying to get Ginny off course. It only worked for a split second before she started pushing back, but it was enough. Harry's fingers closed around the golden winged ball.

He raised his arm and Madam Hooch blew the final whistle. Cheers erupted among the Slytherin supporters and took the noise to an even higher level, something Harry hadn't thought possible.

As soon as he landed he was surrounded by his teammates.

"Good job." Montague gave him a pat on the shoulder that made Harry's knees, still a bit stiff from flying, give in. "Knew I could count on you."

Miles, standing next to the Captain, rolled his eyes, sharing a grin with Harry.

"Yeah, bloody amazing." Blaise approached, followed by a few other Slytherins, Theo among them.

Theo looked from the Snitch in Harry's hand to the 'Weasley is our King" badge pinned on his chest, then up to his face.

He smiled timidly. "Well done."

"Thanks." Harry nodded and allowed the crowed to push him towards the castle.

The victory party in the common room was exuberant. A wireless was blaring an odd mix of Celestina Warbeck's and The Weird Sisters' hits at full volume, the snitch was fluttering through the room, its wings ruffled because everybody tried to catch it at least once, and students got drunk from the Firewhisky and Butterbeer.

Harry felt better than he had in days. One of the prettiest girls in his year was (possibly) interested in him, he'd caught the snitch, which interestingly enough seemed to lead quite a few Slytherins to question their doubts concerning him, and Theo didn't avoid him like the plague anymore.

All in all, he couldn't complain.

Not twenty-four hours later, his week should get even better. It was evening, and Harry was sitting in an armchair in the common room, working on his essay about the Strengthening Solution, when Theo approached him.

"Can we talk?"

"Sure," Harry said and stood up.

He followed Theo upstairs to their empty dorm room, and shut the door firmly behind him.

They sat down on their respective beds and stared at each other. After a while Theo spoke.

"I'm sorry. I- I overreacted. I thought about it, and, well, I understand where you're coming from. I'm not saying I approve – I still think it's an incredibly stupid idea – but I understand, you want to be prepared. I just wish it hadn't been Longbottom. Or that you would've told me about it from the beginning."

Harry looked down at his hands, rubbing them uneasily. "I know. And I wish it hadn't been Longbottom either. But there are only so many illegal duelling clubs at Hogwarts, and I refuse to leave this school unable to safe myself should it ever come to it. I should have thought of a way to tell you sooner, though."

"Yes you should have," Theo said sharply.

"And I'm sorry for bringing up the Bones," Harry added.

"I know," Theo said.

An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

"You had no right to drag my parents into that conversation," Harry said.

Theo nodded. "Yeah, I know, I'm sorry for that too. It just, it made sense at the time."

"I'd have expected that from anybody, just not you. You-" Harry faltered. "You're the one person that should know better. You know that I'm not my parents, that I don't believe in the same values they did. We talked about this."

"Yes we talked about this, but that was before His return. Can you honestly tell me that you don't feel different about it now? They were your parents Harry, and they died because they opposed the Dark Lord. And now He is back and things change."

"I know," Harry whispered. He wasn't sure yet how much the Dark Lord's return changed for him. He thought about it as little as possible. He didn't dare contemplate joining the Dark Lord, not even inside the safety of his own mind, because the idea of disappointing his parents so fundamentally made him sick. But to only play a secondary role in his own life, to let it be ruled by his dead parents' values… that thought didn't make him feel any better.

"I don't know what I'll do," Harry said finally. "I know too little about the Dark Lord and his goals. I won't join a madman bent on wiping out all muggles-"

"He doesn't-" Theo started but Harry silenced him with a look.

"-but I also won't spend my life trying to live up to imaginary expectations my dead parents might or might not have had."

"He doesn't want to kill all the muggles," Theo said.

"How would you know that?" Harry asked. "He certainly killed lots of them in the last war."

"Yeah, but for strategic purposes. And I know because my dad-" Theo lowered his voice "-joined him. And my dad isn't perfect but I can't believe that he would help kill off a whole species."

Harry lay down on his back and stared at the ceiling. "Do you think you could ask your dad? About His goals? About what He really wants?"

"I can try," said Theo quietly. "He never liked talking about any of it though."

"But now He is back and things change," Harry repeated Theo's earlier words softly.


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