Chances Are
Chapter Two: Take Me the Way I Am
Dessa literally had nothing to lose at this point; she had decided to tell no one about her cancer or the fact that she was dying because of her ovaries. She had decided that she wanted people to remember her as she was - carefree, fun and a bright light in dark places.
She ignored Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd's attempts at getting a hold of her and ignored her calls; Dessa was determined to forget about the whole cancer thing while she could. Yes, the bloating was troubling and the soreness sucked, but she could handle it and played it off as a really bad period.
After some convincing, Lucky moved out of their apartment and to Brian's, the couple ready for the next step but worried about Dessa; she had convinced them that she was fine and with Lucky out of the apartment, Dessa was able to mope around easier. She loved her best friend so dearly, but her friend was catching the small cracks that Dessa was trying to hide.
But, Dessa was having fun. She had nothing to worry about and she enjoyed each day as a gift, which it was. She went to bars each night, partied and sometimes even flirted with other men; Lucky claimed it was reckless behavior because Dessa was jealous of her relationship with Brian. Lucky was so far from the truth, it hurt Dessa to think her friend thought so lowly of her.
Brian and Dessa were over and never happening again.
Besides, the only man Dessa could think about was her stranger. The sexy man had been nowhere to be found and Dessa had tried to find him - she regretted not getting his number, name or giving him her own information. The two knocked it off that night at the bar.
Too bad fate was feeling a little too cruel lately.
~x~
Dessa was growing sicker; she wasn't feeling like her usual self and just wanted to stay home. Instead, she decided to go to Joe's one last time to try and find the stranger from weeks ago before officially giving up. She was finally ready to give in to her doctor and begin chemo.
And as she sat there on the stool from before, whiskey in hand, and her black hair pulled back in a bun, Dessa thought of ways to tell her parents. Her mother would go straight to her church to pray and her father would be right behind her; her two younger sisters would be a little different. Hayden, her youngest sister, would just claim it was Dessa's fault; that she shouldn't have partied so hard as a teenager. Catherine, her middle sister, would go straight to the books; Catherine or Cathy was becoming a surgeon and would have lots to say about Dessa's cancer.
Just thinking about her family made her shudder; Dessa finished off her whiskey and waved down Joe for another. Maybe she should tell Lucky first - but she couldn't tell her best friend about it…it would surely crush Lucky and make her move back into the apartment, claiming it was to help Dessa.
"Fancy meeting you here," that voice! "Wow, something must be really eating you up. Joe, another for the lady, on me!"
Dessa turned and her eyes locked on the man from so long ago. She smiled seeing his smirking face, his eyes drinking her in and she took in a deep breath. "Thank you."
"Are we still doing that no name thing? Because you miss, are really hard to find." The stranger joked.
Dessa thought honestly about it; she had been looking for him for so long, how could a little more fun be bad? She was dying from cancer; she should be able to enjoy this sexy man. "Dessa; my name is Dessa."
"Mark Sloan," Mark offered her his hand. Dessa shook it with a smile. "Your name is a very beautiful name. Too bad I didn't know it earlier; I could have shouted it when I came." He winked.
She blushed, "Oh shh."
Mark laughed and it made her stomach tighten. Joe gave Dessa her whiskey. "I never thought women could like whiskey."
Dessa shrugged, "I don't know any other sort of drink. And whiskey helps me forget really easily."
"What sort of troubles need to be forgotten?" Mark asked, sitting right beside her. She was silent, turning to look at the glass of whiskey in her hand. "You should try tequila. I know a girl who swears by it."
She thought about it before she nodded. Joe got her straight tequila and Dessa wondered what she should do. Here sat the man she was interested in, had been looking for the past little while, and now she didn't know what to say to him. Finally, she looked up at him. "How would you feel if I asked you out on a date?"
Mark looked surprised before he chuckled, "I don't usually do dating…"
"Okay," Dessa felt her heart break a little. She hated to be rejected. "I was just going to suggest dinner and then a movie."
"I'm the guy, shouldn't I be asking you?" Mark chuckled. It wasn't an outright no!
Dessa laughed as she finished off her whiskey. "It's modern times! It's perfectly fine for a woman to ask a man out on a date."
Mark agreed but he was smiling at her, causing Dessa to blush some. "Let's go see a movie tomorrow," He said with a grin. "I would say also dinner but I usually work late."
"Okay, I look forward to tomorrow." She couldn't stop the way a smile spread across her features.
~x~
They couldn't decide what movie to go see, so they settled on Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, since they both enjoyed the first movie. She paid for snacks and Mark paid for the tickets. They sat down together near the back, on the right hand side, comfortable beside each other. They each had their own drinks, but were planning on sharing a bag of popcorn.
"Can I put the skittles inside the popcorn bag?" Dessa asked, glancing over at Mark with a warm smile.
He blinked, turning to look at her with a stunned expression before he slowly nodded. "If that is what you want, but can I ask why?"
"I love the flavor of skittles covered in popcorn butter." Dessa shrugged. She had to find the small joys in her life; she wasn't going to live for much longer. And if she did somehow survive the cancer, er life would forever be changed. She dumped the candy into the popcorn and smiled. "Besides, I always enjoy reaching in and getting a surprise skittle."
Mark chuckled. "Whatever makes you happy," he turned his head, looking around the darkened theatre. The commercials were already playing so the room was dark. The movie would be beginning in just a few minutes. He reached into the bag and grabbed some popcorn, plopping it into his mouth. "Who showed you to dump the skittles in?"
"My ex-best friend from high school," Dessa said thoughtfully, setting the popcorn on Mark's lap. "Her name was Jessa; everyone at school mixed us up even though she had blonde hair and blue eyes and I have black hair and gray eyes."
"Dessa and Jessa?" Mark said with a chuckle, shaking his head. "Your names are very similar."
"We bonded over a project in Science class, grade 7; we were supposed to make up an animal and give it a home, food and whatever else it needed to survive. We made the Leer. It was a mix of a deer and a lynx. I drew it and she wrote up the facts." Dessa still remembered her ex-best friend fondly. She blushed darkly. "And now I'm rambling…"
Mark shook his head. "I like listening to you," he reassured her. "So why aren't you still friends?"
Dessa shrugged her shoulders, "Would you believe me if I said it was boy troubles? She had a boyfriend, real arse he was, and I didn't like him. I knew he wasn't good for her but she didn't listen. I offended him when I called him out on his crap. Jessa picked him and I walked away." Dessa was saddened by the memory of why she and Jessa weren't friends anymore. "She ended replacing me with this girl named Amy who basically backstabbed me anyway."
Mark, even though Dessa was sure that he didn't even really care about any of this teenage girl drama, listened silently and gave her the right responses to show that he was in fact listening. "This Jessa girl made the wrong decision."
"They ended up breaking up a few months later. He claimed he didn't really love her - he just wanted her for sex, which I called." Dessa chuckled darkly at the irony. When the movie began, Dessa and Mark stopped talking. However, near the middle, she decided to push the limits and she snuggled up against him. Mark draped his arm around her shoulders and held her close to him. They both enjoyed the movie.
~x~
After the movie, Mark and Dessa both didn't want to depart, so they ended up in a small café ordering coffee together. "I told you about Jessa, now tell me something about you." Dessa smiled at him.
"I had a best friend named Derek," Mark began, "We were basically brothers. We grew up together. Derek took me right under his wing when we were kids. But then I made a stupid decision recently and now he hates me."
"I'm sure he doesn't hate you." Dessa reassured him.
Mark looked up from his coffee. "I slept with his wife."
"Oh…" Dessa blinked in surprise. "Well, to be honest, I'd hate you too. But I'm not married so you don't have to worry about jealous husbands with me!" She laughed awkwardly.
Mark laughed awkwardly with her before he was soon laughing for real. "Good, I don't think I can be two women's dirty mistress."
"Is that what you call yourself? A dirty mistress?" Dessa asked, shaking her head at him. "Why is that?"
"I'm dirty because I slept with my best friend's wife." Mark sighed.
"It isn't just your fault," Dessa reached forward and touched his hand. "Unless you forced yourself onto her, which I highly doubt, she made the decision to sleep with you too. It is a two-way street."
He smiled at her, gripping onto her hand lightly. "Thank you."
~x~
That following Monday, Dessa found herself sitting in a small waiting room, a blue plastic bag like hospital gown on and basically naked underneath with her Hello Kitty panties on, and she was staring ideally at the wall, trying to keep her mind off the fact that she was going to get even worse news. She twirled her thumbs together, chewing her bottom lip and didn't dare look at the door, not ready to see her doctor.
When the door opened, Dessa nearly was ready to bolt out and pretend that she hadn't come at all. "Ah, Dessa! I've been trying to get a hold of you-"
Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd was as beautiful as Dessa remembered; and the pencil skirt on her showed on her legs and the heels went perfectly; Dessa was jealous of the woman. "I needed some space to really think about what I want to do." Dessa answered before the woman could question her further about her whereabouts. "I've met someone…someone I think could be the one…and I know, it's silly because we've only been on one little date and I must sound totally bonkers but we connected. And I don't want him to know about…my cancer. I want him to know me and not stay with me because I'm dying and that's what a nice person would do, right? Stick around with the dying person because they feel pity for them?"
Doctor Montgomery-Shepherd sat down on her stool with wheels and moved it to sit directly in front of Dessa. "Everyone needs one reason to keep going, Dessa. And sure, maybe staying alive for a guy might seem silly to some people but I think it's sweet. You know when you know. But I must ask, are you ready for the risks? Chemo can take a lot out of a person but once the tumors have shrunken, we will remove your-"
"My uterus, ovaries and Fallopian tubes, I know. No more chances of little Dessa's running around," She tried to make light of her illness. "I want to beat it, doc. I want to live to see if this guy is the one."
~x~
After making a schedule with the doctor, Dessa returned to her empty apartment and was ready to sleep. She felt heavy with guilt; Lucky would surely be upset once she learned about Dessa dying. But, Dessa couldn't bring herself to tell her best friend but she did need her.
She laid down on her bed, clenching her phone as she decided what to do; to call or not to call. She gave in and dialed Lucky's number. It went straight to voice mail. "Hello, you've reached Lucille's cell. Leave your message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible! Bye!" Her friend's cheerful voice made her stomach twist in knots.
"Hey Lucky, its Dessa calling. I should have known it was date night with Brain. Anyway…just wanted to know if you'd like to get coffee soon? Wait…never mind, just forget it. I'll be fine! Bye!" Dessa hung up and sighed. She was stupid. Lucky wouldn't understand and she would surely call Dessa an idiot for wanting to fight her cancer because of a boy.
After throwing her phone onto her pillow, Dessa rolled onto her back and stared up at her ceiling; her phone rang and she was confused about who would be calling her. Surely not Lucky; Lucky was on her date night. She picked it up and looked at the caller ID: Mark Sloan. Dessa answered with a, "Mark?"
"Hey sweetheart," Mark chuckled with a playful tone. She smiled, imaging his famous smirk on his face. "I got off early from work. I was wondering if you wanted to get Thai with me?"
Dessa couldn't help but smile widely. "Are you, Mark Sloan, asking me out on a date?"
"So what if I am? Are you going to say yes?" Mark teased her right back.
She made a humming noise. "I think I can fit you in. Where should we meet up?"
"I was thinking we could go to this cute little place I know…"
~x~
The place was beautiful; the couple got a table by the window and a fire place, dim red lights and a warm feeling all around. Dessa had ordered some red wine, knowing that she wouldn't be drinking much after the Chemo started. Mark had his usual scotch. "I feel like I barely know you. So I was thinking, why don't we play 20 Questions?" Mark asked playfully, smiling at her.
Dessa laughed; she was sure that Mark was one of a kind and she couldn't stop smiling. She nodded and gave her okay. "Whatever you like," she agreed. "Let's play."
"Ladies first." Mark said grinning.
"Okay," Dessa thought about her question carefully. "What do you do for work?"
"I'm a Plastic Surgeon." Mark answered with pride. "Same question."
"I'm a Pediatrician. No, I am not a super cool surgeon but I do have an awesome job." Dessa shrugged her shoulders. "Where do you work?"
"Seattle Grace Hospital." Mark grinned. "So why haven't I seen you around the hospital?"
"I work at a private practice." Right then, their food arrived. They thanked the waiter before Dessa got to ask Mark her next question. "When is your birthday?"
"July 10th," Mark hummed back as he picked up his chop sticks while Dessa opted for a fork. "Do you prefer cats or dogs?"
"Dogs all the way," Dessa answered. "What is the last book you read?"
Mark thought about that one as he took a bite of his food. "I think it was a medical journal about skin cells." They laughed together and the evening continued this way as the two fired questions, going past 20 but neither seemed to care.
~x~
Dessa was late to her first Chemo appointment; one of her patients had thought it'd be funny to hide her phone and not give her answers on what was up with them. The parent of said patient hadn't been much help either; the parent had been glued to their phone, arguing with someone from work on the other line or their spouse, Dessa wasn't sure.
So there she was, rushing into the hospital with her favorite black converse, jeans and some random t-shirt; an outfit that she had changed into after finishing her shift. Dessa didn't overly want to be in her usual work attire while getting pumped with poison. When she reached the correct floor (only getting lost twice), Dessa took a seat and puffed out a breath of relief.
A friendly enough nurse offered to help and then Dessa was hooked up to the Chemo. She stilled and let out a breath of air; she was told her doctor would be up soon.
Dessa pulled out her phone, ready to play on some games while waiting. It dinged and she saw a text message from Mark. "Can't get drinks tonight - had to go into surgery; it's a trauma case. -M."
Dessa sighed. She wished that she could at least talk to Mark while getting her treatment; she needed something to get her mind off the fact that she was dying. When her phone dinged a second time, she saw a message from Lucky.
Is everything okay? Your last phone call worried Brian and me. -L
I'm okay - it's nothing to be worried about. -D
It sure didn't sound like nothing! :( -L
I'm at work -D
No you aren't. I called Irene from your office and she said you had a doctor's appointment so you got off early. What are you hiding from me? -L
Stupid Irene!
I'm not hiding anything! -D
Then why didn't Ben just check you over? I know he has a crush on you and all, but why would you go to some other doctor? -L
Lucky… -D
It's something else…it's about something Ben isn't exactly a doctor about. -D
It's not Ben's specialty -D
Isn't Ben a general doctor or whatever? -L
Wait! DID YOU DITCH WORK TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH THAT SECRET BOYFRIEND YOU HAVE?! -L
NO! -D
He isn't my boyfriend, just FYI -D
So there is someone! -L
Really Lucky?! -D
You've made Brain and I worried. Just tell me what's going on and I'll leave you alone -L
And now you're not answering -L
Real mature -L
Dessa shut down her phone and slumped into her chair, closing her eyes with a heavy sigh. She knew keeping her illness a secret would be a lot of trouble, but she didn't realize it'd be this hard. Lucky was basically the sister Dessa had always wanted. Cathy and Hayden were alright, but there was just something about Lucky.
She closed her eyes and tried to see where her future was headed. She had always saw herself finding that special someone, marrying them and maybe having a kid or two; of course adopting a dog…or five dogs. There was no limit to how many dogs she wanted. But her future was ripped from her dying fingers and now dangling in front of her face; her best friend would be living the dream and Dessa would be dying with no one beside her because she had no one.
Up Next: Chasing Cars: Dessa's world is thrown further into the fire. Mark and a future she has always wanted are within her grasp but fate has other plans.
Thank you for reading chapter two and please review! :) I'd love to hear what you're thinking.
Reviews:
Sloansballas: Hey girl hey! I'm glad you love this story. I wanted to try something different out and thus, Dessa Hart was born. :)
Taffyrose: Dessa's story line is pretty interesting if I say so myself. I'm glad you think so. :) I hope this story lives up to what you hope to see!
I love you all so much, please review down below!
Xoxo,
Nerdy~
