frat boys and she-devils
chapter 2: apparently bolts are a necessity
Deidara was exhausting.
He was loud and chaotic, arrogant and persistent. But despite this, he put her at ease. She had never felt so comfortable, so like herself, around anyone else. It surprised her how easily she fell back into a comfortable friendship with him, and after a tight hug that lasted only a couple of seconds longer than was probably appropriate, he followed her down to the car and started hauling boxes.
He had clearly just woken up, clad in a white t-shirt and jogging bottoms with bare toes peeking out underneath. His hair was messy and loose round his shoulders, but his eyes were bright and his face was relaxed into a dopey smile rather than his patented dangerous smirk. She had missed that smile.
He was chattering on about nothing much as they trailed up and down the stairs, her speaking in low tones as to avoid waking anyone else. Of course this was pointless as Deidara didn't give a shit about social rules, and the second he stubbed his toe he began cursing at the top of his lungs. Sakura had to lean back against her bed, a hand clapped over her mouth to try to smother the giggles prompted by the blonde who was now hopping round her room, clutching his foot.
"Only been here five minutes and already you're making him fall over himself trying to impress you," joked a voice from the door.
Turning on the spot as she managed to control her laughter, she spotted a similarly obnoxious grin on Kisame's angular face. His bright eyes trailed down her, taking in her black skinnies and navy tee with an appreciative whistle.
"Looking good there Pinkie," he supplied with an over-exaggerated wink. Sakura merely rolled her eyes as an amused smirk tugged at her lips and she walked forward to hug the man.
Leaning back once more to look up at his face, she replied "You're not looking too bad yourself there Ariel, still rocking those abs of steel I see."
This was supplied with a sharp slap to his stomach which brought a slight grunt and an affectionate hair ruffle from the shirtless man.
Leaning back against the door frame and crossing his arms, he scoffed before saying with a smirk, "You're just upset that your scrawny ass could never get themselves a specimen as fine as me."
Hands on her hips and enjoying the playful banter, Sakura opened her mouth to retort when a cough sounded out from behind them. Both turned towards the blonde, who had stopped hopping around on one foot and was now stood glaring at Kisame with his fists in his pockets.
"Sorry to interrupt, but whenever you guys are finished, there are more boxes to bring up," he ordered with a slight pout, clearly miffed at being ignored. He pushed forward between the two and headed down the stairs, missing the amused eye roll that they shared behind his back.
Luckily for Deidara, Kisame was a dick, but he wasn't a complete asshole. He dropped the play-flirting quickly, and after carting a couple of the heavier boxes, he left the two alone in her room again as he went to make a start on breakfast before the others awoke.
Sakura was digging through a suitcase for a hoodie when from behind her came a low whistle of appreciation.
"This is one fancy fucking camera. How the hell did you afford this?" He questioned, awe clear in his voice. In his hands, cradled with care that was surprising coming from him, was her baby. The Canon was her most prized possession, and it meant more to her than her car.
"That is the product of three summer jobs, a lot of car washing and money saved from several birthdays," she replied, watching closely as he started fiddling with the many buttons. Sensing her stare, he looked up and caught her eye, throwing her a cheeky grin.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to throw it across the room, stop looking so terrified."
She wouldn't admit aloud that she was extremely nervous seeing her most prized possession in the hands of a man who enjoyed making things blow up and who earlier had tripped over his own feet.
As if sensing the protective instinct that was coming over her, he carefully placed the camera back in its case - but not without shooting her a look that read as 'really?'
The house was clearly waking up around them as doors opened and closed and the shower next to her room turned on. Despite the noises, it still took a couple of seconds before they broke eye contact and Deidara started towards the door.
"Come on, Kisame makes kick-ass waffles but you need to get there early or Itachi and Hidan will demolish them in seconds."
With that, he left Sakura alone in her room, surrounded by boxes of her possessions. With a slight sigh at how much work she had to do, a quick mirror check was all she needed before she followed the blonde downstairs, eager to be reunited with the rest of the weirdos that she would now come to call her housemates.
Cheerful whistling and the sizzling of a pan reached Sakura's ears as she entered the kitchen and hoisted herself up on to the table. Swinging her legs, she watched in amusement as Kisame played the part of housewife, right down to the bright pink spatula he was currently wielding in his hand. Deidara was bent over, rooting around in the fridge, and she'd be lying if she said she didn't allow herself a glance at his ass.
Ok so maybe it was slightly more than a glance.
Then, before she could register what was happening, a loud cry of "SAKURA-CHAN!" rang out, and suddenly she was no longer looking down at a perfectly fine ass, but up at a cracked ceiling.
"Tobi, what the fuck are you doing, you idiot?" Ground out Deidara as the weight on top of her was mercilessly ripped off and shoved away. It took Sakura a couple of blinks to clear her head before she reached for Kisame's outstretched hand and was tugged to her feet with ease. "So, that's Tobi," he smiled before turning back to the stove.
Said boy was currently cowering against the table, crying out apologies into the wood as Deidara scowled and stalked back across the room. She took the opportunity to get her first look at her attacker, and was met by the classic dark hair and eyes of an Uchiha. He also had the whole 'tall and pale with a face so angular you could cut yourself on those cheekbones' thing that she associated with the clan. It was clear that he was more from Shisui's side of the family than Sasuke's as he was actually showing emotions, something she was pretty sure Fugaku had found a way to genetically remove from his sons.
The sudden appearance of Itachi himself had her - not for the first time - questioning his telepathic abilities.
"Sakura, good to see you again," he greeted smoothly, that smirk that he always had around her on his face - the one that said I know every embarrassing thing you've ever said or done and I'm not afraid to share them. To be perfectly honest, Itachi scared the shit out of Sakura.
"Tobi's sorry Sakura-chan, he didn't mean to hurt you, honest!" Tobi exclaimed, grabbing her hands in a tight grip as he stared at her with the most pathetic looking puppy eyes she'd ever seen. And God was she a sucker for pretty eyes.
"Don't be silly, you didn't hurt me," she reassured with a smile, "it's nice to meet you finally, Tobi."
The boy instantaneously perked up and beamed at her, chirping a quick "you too Sakura-chan!" before he had leapt across the room to hover over Kisame's elbow. Catching Itachi's eye, she threw him a slightly nervous smile as both attempted to ignore the way Deidara had his eyes narrowed on the dark-haired man, jaw clenched tightly.
Picking up on the slight tension in the air, Kisame tactfully started serving up breakfast with loud conversation on the latest episode of Game of Thrones and Sakura could honestly say she had never loved the man more. Seated next to Deidara and across from Itachi, she could only pray that Sasori would appear soon to break the tension. Or Hidan - uniting the pair over their shared hatred for the silver-haired man was likely the only way she was going to survive being in the same room as Deidara's jealousy for more than 5 minutes.
And who would have thought that Hidan's presence could ever make a situation better?
They say you learn something new everyday. Today, Sakura learnt that Deidara in sunglasses, driving her convertible, was infuriatingly sexy. Something about how casual he looked, with one hand on the wheel and the other leaning on the door, was super alluring and she didn't know why but it wasn't fair. She blamed the car.
It was a sexy car.
Leaving the house for a bit seemed to have the desired effect on the blonde, who now appeared to be comfortably at ease and back to his infuriating, cocky self rather than the quietly seething idiot who had been practically growling at Itachi all throughout breakfast. He'd taken the bait and had been the one to offer to show her to the nearest supermarket so she could stock up. After the failure of Hidan appearing or a sudden, strategically placed nuclear strike, she had had to make a quick getaway to avoid suffocating on testosterone.
Ever the gentleman, Deidara parked up and immediately wandered straight into the store, leaving Sakura to go and find the carts alone. She rolled her eyes and wondered why she always went for the jerks. Especially when her current choice of jerk came back with a case of beers that he threw in the cart with a devilish grin.
She fixed him with a blank stare. "I'm so not paying for this," she clarified. His grin didn't fall though, and he followed her around as she shopped, occasionally reaching for the stuff on the top shelves for her - though not without teasing her brutally, of course.
"I always forget how short you are. Like a pixie or something," he mocked, patting her head heavily as if she were a child. "So are you allowed on the inflatables at the pool or have you still got another couple of inches to go?"
A swift elbow to the ribs had him doubling up with an 'oof.' Stalking off, she threw a sly grin over her shoulder at the man who was watching her from his hunched position.
"You'd know all about a couple of inches, wouldn't you Deidara?" she questioned innocently, throwing the now-blushing man a saucy wink as he spluttered.
"Hey! I'm packing way more than a few inches, you little pink-haired brat!"
This loud statement was met with a horrified silence from the surrounding shoppers, who froze to stare at the suddenly-pale man. As an older woman threw Deidara a dirty glare, Sakura could only laugh and walk away to leave the man to fend for himself. And as she did so, she couldn't help but wonder, just how many inches?
She was so going to hell.
Despite the commotion he had caused, Deidara was not one for embarrassment, and with a wink towards the old woman on his left he quickly escaped the rant he was receiving from a 'disgusted parent' and caught up with the slightly hysterical pinkette. Hysterics that didn't let up until they had gone home, packed away her shopping, and he left to lock himself away in his room before he murdered her for being so damn happy. With only the odd chuckle now escaping her, she headed up the stairs and entered her room - where her laughs instantly stopped and were replaced with the question "what the fuck are you doing, you perv?!"
On her bed, with his hands in her duffle, was Hidan.
"Good to see you too, Kitten!" was her answer, as his violet eyes didn't even look up from what he was doing. Too stunned to react, Sakura simply stood and gaped at him as he continued searching through her belongings. This silence continued for several long seconds before he held up a lacy, lilac bra and fixed her with a stare and a lecherous grin.
"This is cute," he stated, and his smirk only deepened before his eyes dropped to linger on her chest.
"But I bet it-"
He didn't get any further as suddenly he was pinned face down on her bed with a mouthful of duvet.
Let it never be said that Sakura Haruno couldn't put up a fight.
Twisting his arm behind his back in a wristlock, she led him to the door and promptly threw him out, snatching her bra from his fingers and shutting the door on his laughter. Leaning back against the wood, she exhaled deeply and tried to ignore the call of "welcome to the family, sweet-cheeks!" that was only slightly muffled by the door. It was probably best she found a way to keep people out of her room.
Where could she find SWAT teams for sale?
A/N - So I see Deidara as someone who would be incredibly jealous and uneasy about the fact that Sakura was crushing on Itachi, and would be too blind to realise the crush had died. I'm not sure if it makes sense or if it just seemed a bit of a random thing, so thought I'd clarify. Also, fun fact about me (that's not fun at all), is that I'm really not a fan of slow-build romance (I'm too impatient) so it's going to happen soon and then you can fully enjoy the smutty, fluffy goodness!
