frat boys and she-devils

chapter 3: the tears of a 6 foot man


The next day was spent meeting with professors, setting up a timetable and trying to familiarise herself with the campus. Apart from the multitude of times she had gotten extremely lost, the day had passed without incident as she had managed to escape the house without bumping into a single crazy man-child. Now, as she started up the porch steps of her new home, she could only pray this peace would continue. She knew full well it wouldn't, but she enjoyed pretending.

And, to no one's surprise, her illusion was shattered almost the second she stepped through the door. This interruption came in the form of a hand clasping her wrist and roughly jerking her into a room before she even had a chance to comprehend what was going on. The bedroom that she now stood in was bare to the point that calling it minimalist would be overly generous. It was monochrome, and the only colour came from a collection of cacti that sat on the desk beside a window - a window that was hidden behind curtains she was almost 100% positive were never opened under any circumstance.

The main thing going through Sakura's mind as she took in her surroundings was how the sea of black and white made Sasori's hair look a really intense shade of blood-red. And here she was, stuck with pink. Thanks mum.

Her brothers hazel eyes had turned to his laptop screen immediately after he had manhandled her in here, and now she found herself staring unblinkingly at the back of his head in silence. That usually got him to talk eventually. Right on queue, Sasori finally spared her a glance.

"Dad wanted to make sure you were moved in ok and hadn't had to use your pepper spray yet." he stated to his laptop, ignoring the huff that came from his little sister. Sakura pouted and couldn't help but be slightly miffed that her dearest father was using Sasori to check up on her. Last time she checked, she was an adult after all.

"Ok, and why couldn't he just call and ask me this himself?" she questioned, picking absentmindedly at her nails.

"I told him you'd be too drunk to have a proper conversation."

Ever so slowly, Sakura raised her head to meet his eyes. "Uhh, what?" she asked intelligently.

"Just don't get so wasted you can't make it home. I'm out all night and I don't want you calling me at 6am, crying and asking me to pick you up from a Dairy Queen parking lot again."

"Hey," she started indignantly as her cheeks flushed red, "that was one time! And seriously, what are you talking about?"

But before she could get her answer, a minor explosion sounded from the vicinity of the kitchen. With wide eyes, she started sputtering as Sasori simply turned back to his laptop and plugged in his headphones. Unsure how to react to her brother's nonchalance, Sakura spun on her heel and propelled herself into the kitchen. The kitchen that was full of thick smoke, a pissed Kisame, an unapologetic Deidara and the delightful smell of melting plastic.

Which could be explained by the red lump that was currently on fire in the sink.

Apparently, Sakura was no good in a crisis, as all she could do was stand and gape in bewilderment at the scene before her. Luckily, Kisame was once again playing the role of head of the house, and quickly smothered the flames and flung open the back door to let out the acrid smell. Deidara merely sat with his chin propped on a hand casually, and when she turned her wide-eyed stare on him, he simply smirked.

"Experiment #47 was a bust."

And apparently that was the only explanation she was going to get. Deciding that for the good of her sanity, she should just go along with whatever the fuck it was that was happening right now, she plopped herself down in a chair.

Now that the immediate danger had been dealt with, Kisame flopped back against the countertop and fixed her with a wicked grin that had her wondering how she managed to convince so many hot guys that she was worthy of their time. It wasn't until she realised that the grin she was currently staring at was moving that she came out of her daze.

Kisame started laughing then, as despite her hopes, he noticed her stare. Of course he did, he wasn't a complete fucking idiot. Her misfortune continued as she failed to make the thing in the sink spontaneously combust again, and Deidara's attention flipped from Kisame to Sakura. In a desperate attempt to move past yet another of her finest moments of stupidity - she knew for a fact that her spaced out face made her look completely and totally brain-dead, as Ino so kindly put it - she cleared her throat and opened her mouth, but Kisame beat her to it.

"Anyway," he started, throwing her a mocking wink that had her glaring at him fiercely, "we're going out tonight. No excuses, princess, we all need a night of good old-fashioned bonding. We leave as soon as Hidan gets back, so go and try fix that mess you call a face."

It was like he wanted to be punched.

With the very mature reaction of sticking her tongue out at the man, she heaved herself up from the table and ignored Deidara's heavy gaze. She knew that there was no way in hell she was getting out of this, and that they would only relish the challenge of breaking into her room if she tried to lock herself away. She let loose a sigh that the men immediately recognised as one of defeat, and they exchanged grins as she left to change. Of course, she made sure that on her way out of the room she just so happened to stamp directly on Kisame's foot.

There was nothing like making a six foot man howl in pain to brighten her mood.


SAKURA-CHAN! I MISS YOU! when can me and the bastard come visit? i wanna see your new digs!

Texts from Naruto never failed to make Sakura simultaneously roll her eyes in exasperation and smile in fondness. She would never know how she survived life with two disgustingly-loud blondes and a guy who acted like everything she said was the stupidest thing ever as her best friends, but she knew she wouldn't change them for the world. Most of the time. Sometimes they drove her to the point where she considered just poisoning them all and being done with it.

She'd run away if she believed she could, but they would definitely find her.

Typing out a quick 'Not yet Naruto, I'll let you know. Miss you too!', she pocketed her phone in her leather jacket and bent to tug on her boots. The longer she could go without Naruto and Sasuke finding out she was living with 5 dudes (her brother obviously didn't count), the better. Especially as one of those guys were Itachi. Her boys had a habit of being slightly over-protective. But what could you expect when you'd been friends as long as they had?

"Let's get the fuck out of here, people! We've got drinking to do!" was the yell from Hidan that made her realise that maybe she should never tell her friends back home who she was living with.

Down in the hall stood her housemates, all looking varying degrees of excited. On a scale of a jumping Tobi to a straight-faced Itachi, she was a Hidan. That being, excited for the alcohol, indifferent about everything else - medical students were known for being heavy drinkers, after all. Well, she thought, glancing at Deidara when he fell into step beside her as they piled out of the house and started down the road - the company was pretty good too.


The bar that she was brought to was not the dingy pub she was expecting, but a chilled out loft space, with pool tables in one corner, rock music playing through the speakers, and an entire arcade on the lower level. Itachi drifted gracefully to the bar, while Hidan threw himself down on a sofa in the corner. Apparently Itachi accepted that he was the only one with any real money, and so was willingly getting the first round. With a grin, Sakura didn't stop at the table that the men were now occupying, but left to find the bathrooms and explore the smoking garden - that she was pleased to see was coated in cute little fairy lights.

By the time she re-entered the bar, Itachi was seated and everyone was drinking happily. Spying a rum and coke on the tray, she threw the Uchiha a grin of gratitude, before grabbing it and taking a sip.

God, she loved alcohol.

"So," she began, quickly granted with the attention of the men in front of her, "arcade?"

Tobi, bless him, immediately jumped up with a fist-pump and an excited yell, before grabbing her free hand and dragging her down the stairs. His enthusiasm was infectious on a Naruto-level, and she found that his company was just as good. The two spent the next half an hour trying every game they could, only pausing to refill their drinks. Currently, they were on motorbikes, racing round downtown LA, and Sakura was losing awfully. While Tobi was good at the driving games, she was a rocker at the shooters. Unfortunately, Tobi was what you might call timid, and while he agreed reluctantly to a game of Time Crisis, he wouldn't go anywhere near the zombie games.

Which was why when she stepped off the stupid bike after coming in a solid 12th place, the sight of Deidara meandering towards them made her grin giddily.

"Hey Tobi, Hidan just said that The Great British Bake Off is an overrated show," he called once he was near enough to be heard. A shriek was his reply, and the Uchiha quickly raced from the scene, prompting a laugh from Sakura and a head-shake from Deidara. Sobering up, she attempted to fix the blonde with a stern look.

"Are you lying to him to get rid of him? Because bullying Tobi's like kicking a puppy, and I will beat your ass for it."

The amused smirk she held didn't give her statement the appropriate punch, and Deidara merely laughed before walking towards a Resident Evil game.

"I wasn't lying, he did say that. Just about 20 minutes ago," he shrugged, but at the look she shot him, he continued "come on, I know you want to play the shooting games." He waggled one of the plastic guns at her in an attempt at enticement, and although she rolled her eyes, she accepted the weapon.

"You're still a prick. And if you die, I'm leaving you behind, bitch."

Focused on the screen while she selected a character, Sakura missed the way his eyes softened and his smirk melted to a smile.

"You're on pinky."


Sakura had made many stupid decisions in her life. Starting a competition with Deidara was definitely one of them. The rules that the loser of every game went and brought them both drinks led to more fun than she had had in a long time, but also more alcohol than anyone should ever, ever give her.

Now, she was leaning her head on his shoulder for support because the screen was blurring and her hand kept slipping on the joystick. He, in turn, was bracing his hands on the machine with a tight grip, eyes squinting as he made a conscious effort to concentrate on the screen.

This was how Kisame found them, and he was definitely sober enough to find it hilarious, while drunk enough to snapchat the scene without remembering that Sasori could see the picture.

"You know, we were beginning to think you two had slipped off home alone" he teased the pair with a wink. The two simply turned to him at half their normal speed and attempted glares that made them look like sulking toddlers. With a grin, Kisame walked forwards and wrapped an arm round either of their shoulders.

"Come on kids, you should probably come sit down for a bit."

Honestly, Sakura was proud of herself for making it up the stairs on her feet rather than crawling on her hands and knees. As she collapsed on to the sofa nearest her, she stared at the shots that were laid out on the table. She really, really shouldn't.

But she did.

And then was hit by a second wind as the others cheered and downed their own. She was ready to party, and she was enjoying herself more than she thought she could with a bunch of guys that she'd never really considered as actual friends. A dopey smile on her face, she reached for another shot when she was interrupted by a buzz from her phone. Glancing at the screen, she saw it was from Sasuke, and only hesitated a second before she opened it.

Ino said you're living with Itachi...when were you going to tell me?

That blonde bitch was dead. And so was she when the younger Uchiha got his hands on her. Maybe now was the time to leave the country…


I can't believe you didn't tell me you're living with my brother and his friends. I know one of them is a massive pervert, you better stay away from him. When I come down we're finding you a new place.

This was then followed shortly by another message.

SAKURA CHAN THE BASTARD SAID YOUR LIVING WITH PERVS IM GOING TO COME RESCUE YOU DONT WORRY! NO MEANS NO SAKURA!

Her friends were stupid, so she didn't reply, choosing instead to drink more and drag the guys on to the dancefloor. The fact that she was slowly moving closer to Deidara was not something anyone seemed to notice. Her phone buzzed several more times throughout the night, but as she drank more, they made less sense. The latest one didn't even look like words anymore, and so, distracted by Kisame chugging a beer beside her, she clumsily replied with a 'sure' - thus ending a conversation she would completely forget about, and soon come to regret.

2am saw the group once more back at the house, bunched up on the sofas in the den. Itachi had retired to bed, but everyone else was still - to put it eloquently - off their faces, and so they decided that the sensible thing to do was carry on drinking. Which could only end well.

The next day was doomed to be full of puking and headaches, and this became even more certain with the proposition of a game from Kisame. The game involved watching a horror movie, and taking a shot every time you looked away or covered your eyes. It also proved that Hidan wasn't the only sadist in the house.

Sakura loved horror, and could stomach gore like a pro - after all, she was planning on spending her future with her hands on people's brains. But right now she could barely keep her eyes on the screen - not when she was using so much energy to act like Deidara didn't currently have a large hand on her thigh under the blanket they shared. Their sides were pressed together and his warmth was making her dizzy in the best way. She was sure that if Tobi wasn't screeching in horror every 5 seconds then the rest of the room would be able to hear her heart thumping.

It both thrilled her and scared her that she could no longer pretend that there was nothing between them. They wanted each other, and realistically Sasori was the only reason they weren't together. Unless he didn't actually like her. Maybe he just thought she'd be good in bed.

It was this thought, this paranoia that she always carried in the back of her mind, that stopped her from placing her hand on his.

She didn't want to scare him away.


Kisame crying may have been the weirdest thing she'd ever seen. He was sitting on the other side of Deidara, elbows on his knees and hands clasped against his mouth, tears falling slowly down his cheeks as he mouthed along to the words of the film.

He must have been more wasted than she realised.

Tobi was in a similar state, sat on the floor with a pillow crushed against his chest as he sobbed unabashedly.

After the horror had finished in a way more chilling than any of them had anticipated (apart from Hidan, who loved the gore and had left with a wide grin on his face), they had all decided that comic relief was needed before they went to bed.

Apparently, Finding Nemo had been the wrong choice.

Especially as Deidara's attention was wavering, and his hand had now left her thigh and was slung closely round her shoulders instead, pinning her in place. It was simultaneously the last and the only place she wanted to be.

With this confusion taking charge of her drunken mess of a brain, she abruptly stood, and stuttered out some excuse before bolting for the stairs. Throwing herself face down on her bed, she damned her very existence and prayed that one of these days, she'd actually learn some self-control. Although another traitorous part of her brain was cursing herself for missing an opportunity that had been held out to her on a silver platter. A chance she feared she wouldn't get again.


A/N - I'm uploading this at 1am, so I'll probably read through it tomorrow and hate it and change half of it, but there you go. Hope you enjoyed!