3.


But until then it's alienation, I know
That much is understood
And I realize


"Luke, your Texas self, what was he like?"

He doesn't know when everything changed. Somehow, life had turned them away from each other, and with each day that they were barely able to talk, and with each conflicting schedule, they were torn apart.

It reaches a point where smiles never quite reached their eyes, and they exchange chaste kisses in the short periods of time that they get to see each other, because both are far too busy to do anything else.

"He was troubled. Lost. Always angry. Always violent."

Perhaps it was because he always thought that nothing could change them, that this was just a phase and it would all go away. That she would always be there. It was gradual, and slow.

So much that when she speaks the words, it hits him hard, and knocks the breath out of him.

She bites her lip, and his heart aches knowing that she's trying not to cry. "We can't do this anymore, Lucas."

And as it goes from his choked statements of disbelief to full on yelling, he realizes how much he truly lost her.

"Does he still live inside you?"

She reveals nights where she had been hurting, and he hadn't been there.

He argues that she never told him, and she screams right back that they never told each other anything anymore.

"You repel him. With you around, he could never stay."

It was so surreal to him that anything like this could happen. That anything could break them at all.

That anything could even come close to destroying Riley and Lucas. Yet here they were, destroying themselves.

"He would never hurt me, then."

He's angrier than he had ever been in his life at that point, angry at her for insinuating that their falling apart could be his fault, angry at himself for not seeing this sooner, and angry at the world and life and fate for not giving them a better story. For not giving them a better ending.

For ruining Riley and Lucas.

He almost hits her. Almost. He stops himself just as the realization that he loves her overpowers his blinding rage, just as her eyes widen in fear and panic. His arm is raised, and she is cowering against the wall.

"He would never hurt you."

And suddenly he feels disgusted with himself. It's enough to make him hate himself for the rest of his life.

His arm lowers quickly, and all anger fades. "Riley-"

But she's sobbing now, breaking down into tears as she sinks onto the floor. There is a sharp pain deep inside him. He caused this. This is his fault. And he will never forgive himself.

He crouches down and tries to reach for her, but she shrinks away. He can't stand the way she's looking at him with wide fearful eyes, like he's a stranger, like he's dangerous and a monster and everything he never wanted her to see him as.

So he backs away. He gets up to his feet, stumbling back, before flinging the door open and slamming it shut. He flees down the corridor, knowing fully well that he left his broken heart behind with her.

They never speak face to face again after that.