Chapter 4
Overcoming Fear
AUTHOR
As the days went by, Jayné had tried to adjust herself to her married life. Although it was proven to be hard, Jayné had to try. Bash would usually leave court and not return until evening, leaving Jayné to have her time. Mary still felt as if she was to blame – the guilt had built up inside her the further the days went.
The door slammed shut as Bash walked into the room, Jayné gasped slightly as Bash dropped his scabbard on the ground. She looked up at him before speaking up, "you look awfully angry, what happened?"
"Did my return concern you?" Bash asked. "Well, I apologize. However, I don't think my return should bother you so much." Jayné had noticed the change in Bash's change of behavior, his sudden anger towards her, and it hurt her to think that someone she was forced to marry resented her.
"Look, I understand that you and I won't get along anytime soon," Jayné sighed as she stood up, wiping her dress clean. "But, all we can do is try. At least try to seem happy. And if anything, I'm the last person you should blame. You saw yourself what happened to me, and not once did you try to speak out."
"And say what?" Bash exclaimed, his tone getting angrier by the moment. "Do not ever try to blame me for not speaking out, all I saw was that you were tied up, that's all. That doesn't prove that you didn't send any letters to Mary."
"Fine! Blame me! For the rest of our lives, blame me for this pathetic marriage!" Jayné yelled as she threw her hand up in defeat. Without warning, she sighed as pushed past Bash, opening the door and walking out, slamming the door behind her.
Bash was left speechless. It wasn't every day he saw someone like Jayné shout at him – he didn't know she had it in her. Especially since she was one of the nicest girls he had ever met, apart from Mary, and he could've never foreseen this day.
Jayné walked out of the east wing of the castle, with her head in her hands as her tears began soaking her face. Why me? She thought to herself, pleading for an answer, an answer she couldn't get. After all those days, she stayed clear of her mother's path and Mary's path. However, it seemed that Rosa was almost doing the same thing; staying clear of her daughter.
Once Jayné had made it out of the castle, she had noticed that it was pouring rain. Good, at least no one will notice my tears. Jayné told herself as she walked past the guards, due to the huge amount of rain that was dropping from the sky, Jayné was immediately wet; from head to toe. The evening sky was getting more dark by the hours, and the rain wasn't stopping anytime soon.
Jayné sat on the small bench under the great oak tree, covering her arms up with the shawl she had taken with her. The cold was making Jayné shiver, as the rain wasn't anymore pleasant than the cold. Jayné had contained her tears as she stared off into a distance, still holding the shawl close to her.
Meanwhile, Mary had finished preparing for the evenings dinner. She felt the need to invite the newly wed couple, hoping to speak to Jayné, or at least try to get Jayné to say something to her. As the maids left the room, Francis entered. He looked at Mary before commenting on her beauty, "you look beautiful as always, Mary." Mary smiled as she felt her cheeks heat up.
"Francis, do you think that I'll get Jayné to speak to me?" Mary asked, whilst she turned to look at Francis. He sighed at Mary's constant worrying about her sister. "Francis, she is my sister; I have to care about her."
"Yes, I know that. However, you have to stop with the constant worrying, it doesn't look good on you." Francis told her, closing the gap between them as he caressed her red cheeks. In a matter of seconds, the two pressed their lips together as Francis's hand began making its way to her neck.
Mary pulled away after only a few moments of bliss, she looked at everything but Francis. As Francis moved himself, Mary sat down on the ottoman by the fire; not once did she take her eyes off the fire while she spoke, "Francis, my sister resents me because of my false accusations, I do not think I can forgive myself."
Francis felt a certain resentment for the young 'princess', and how his fiancée had more room in her heart for her than him. Was it selfish? Was it wrong for him to resent her so? Mary didn't know of his feeling, and maybe it was for the better to keep his thought to himself. Francis wasn't known to be a bitter and selfish person, but what was it about that young soul that angered him so much? Mary had still felt deep sorrow for her young sister, maybe it was because she was forced to marry Bash, or maybe Mary felt more sorry for herself, all because she didn't try to stand by her sister.
Even with their harsh feeling towards Jayné, the couple still managed to smile at Jayné, say gracious things about her, even brag about having a family member such as Jayné. Was was they said all lies? They couldn't have been; a young, generous soul was always a delight. Francis felt wrong for giving such lies to others, while Mary couldn't figure out whether they were lies or not.
Jayné stood beside Greer, glancing around the room, getting nervous at every look she got from others. What were they thinking about? Jayné pondered that question for a long time, those people had a mixture of emotions on their faces – ranging more from disgusted to surprised. They were surprised that a young soul like Jayné could even try to betray her country, and disgusted that she'd even try. Who were they to judge? What you hear is what you believe, that was the rule.
"Jayné, are you all right?" Jayné heard Greer ask. She turned to look at her before giving a small smile, although it was false, it was believable enough. "It's just that you seem very uncomfortable, is it the looks you're getting?"
"Looks? Not at all," Jayné shook her head. 'I wasn't thinking too much about the looks I was getting till you told me about them, Greer.' It was a though, but not a sentence to say out loud. "They can believe what they hear."
Jayné's eyes finally met Francis's cold stare, he looked mad to see her, as he always was. She turned to look somewhere else, but she could still feel his cold stare on her. What did he want? Was he mad at her? Jayné never could figure Francis out, his looks was one thing, but his personality was another – two complete opposites. Mary was nowhere near Francis, she wasn't even seen by her, and neither was Bash.
'Bash and Mary, should've known. Saving me was for Mary, helping me was for Mary, all of this was for Mary. For Mary. He loves Mary, not you Jayné.' Jayné felt her heart sink at the very thought of Mary together with Bash. It hit her that the only reason why she was still here was because of Mary, and Bash's feeling towards her. Should she be happy? Should she appreciate Sebastian's feeling towards Mary?
"We need to speak," It hit her, like a cold sword in the head. Francis. Jayné turned to look at Francis, holding her wine glass as hard as her hand could, he knuckles began changing to a white color as her palms began sweating. "Mary worries sick about you, and you push her away because of something she didn't know about. Doesn't that make you feel a little sense of shame?"
"Instead of worrying about my relationship with Mary, worry about your relationship with Mary," Jayné spat. Francis furrowed his brows as he gave her a cold look. "The only reason why I'm here is because of the way Sebastian feels about Mary. Some call it love, if you've heard of it."
"What do you mean?" Francis asked, trying to maintain his anger. Was Mary's younger sister actually being rude to him? Or was she trying imply that his half brother and his fiancé were having an affair?
"In case you didn't yet notice, but Bash and Mary are both not here. When one one them isn't present at a gathering, the other one isn't either, then they come in together. Mary convinced Bash to find me, so he did, for her." Jayné informed him. Francis looked at him in disbelief, it all began adding up. How did he not notice?
Yet, Francis kept denying the secret relationship they could've been having. "It cannot be. I will not stand by it, I promise you that. I don't believe it, you're just making things up Jayné." Jayne shrugged at him before taking a sip of her wine. Was she meant to be concerned about this? Because she definitely couldn't care less.
"You can keep denying it, Francis. However, I know the truth and you don't." Jayné asserted, with a smug smile forming across her face. Francis wanted to debate against her view, but immediately grunted as he walked off, leaving the room altogether.
Although Jayné felt some remorse for what she had said, she felt a small happiness for her small victory. Jayné wasn't ever sure whether Mary and Bash were actually having an affair, and whether Jayné had now created more tension at court over a pathetic matter she had alienated herself to believe had been important. Then again, Jayné didn't know why she should feel any sort of remorse for her sister.
The door slammed shut as Kate rushed into the room, immediately dismissing all of the maids and guards. As surprised as Rosa was at her sudden entrance, it was all ready clear why Kate was so distressed. Rosa stood up from the desk as she looked at Kate, wanting an explanation. Kate's heavy breathing became more shallow as she took a seat, trying to get something out of her mouth.
"Rosa, our plan has failed," Kate told the older woman. "Do you realize that if they figure out that we were the ones responsible for Jayné's disappearance, we're going to hang?"
Rosa immediately sighed as she took a few steps towards Kate. "Don't worry, darling. It was believable enough that Mary wrote those letters to Jayné, no one will ever suspect a thing."
"I can't keep lying, she's my friend." Kate retorted, standing up in defense. However, as intimidating as Rosa was, Kate immediately sat back down in defeat.
"You know what will happen to your parents if you don't cooperate, so I suggest you do as told. Got that?" Rosa warned. Kate nodded her head slowly, not taking her eyes off the ground. It felt wrong to betray her friend, but her family's life was at stake.
JAYNÉ
Soon after the feast ended, I made my way back to my old chambers, where I felt as if I could finally have some time to myself. The room looked completely deserted, with my the old furniture covered in bland, white sheets and the only light in the room was from the two average size windows, which managed to light up half of the room – the rest was pure blackness. It was the uncertainty of the darkness that made me more paranoid than I should've been, it felt as if I was being watched, my every move was being observed. I couldn't even understand why anymore.
For a split moment, I could've sworn I saw a figure of a woman standing by the window, alone and confused, as I was. The illusion of the figure made me walk closer to the window, hoowever, the uneasiness had reluctantly stopped me dead in my track, as I still stared at the dead window, clearly flabbergasted by what I had seen.
I left the room again in sorrow and silence, the hallway was now as deserted as my old chambers were. I felt chills run down my spine as I began walking down the long, dark, gruesome hallway to get to my new bedchamber. It had never failed to amaze me how different people could act in front of specific people, especially Mary. I couldn't believe how she felt mistreated even though she had accused me of being a traitor of my own country. I wasn't like my mother, and I felt quite offended by being compared to her.
Bash wasn't anywhere to be seen in our bedchamber, which left me to believe that he was with Mary, or on one of his late night killing sprees, which I never did approve of but I didn't have a say in any of this. Not only was I a woman, but I was a bastard as well, I didn't have a say in anything and I couldn't control my own husband, nor could I speak ill of my husband.
When morning light spilled into the room, I had already made myself presentable for the day. Bash hadn't come home last night, so I took it upon myself to clean the room and get ready myself. In all honesty, I was glad I didn't have to meet up with Bash and I was more glad that I could have a nice, peaceful morning by myself. That just wasn't the luxury I was fortunate enough to have anymore, so whenever I had the chance to be alone, I grabbed that chance and made the best of it.
At breakfast, I had made my way down to the dinning room, where I was expected to meet with Mary, much to my displeasure. However, before I even managed to leave the east wing, I saw Kate scurrying out of her room with a few servants holding the huge boxes, which I assumed were filled with her clothing and such.
"Kate!" I called out to her, I saw her turn around to look at me, with a very perplexed look on her face as if she didn't expect to meet me or something. "Where are you going? Why are they taking all of your things?"
"Ah, well. I thought it'd be best for me to leave and go home, to my family. I feel a bit, homesick, to be quite honest with you. So, I decided to pay my family a visit." She explained. I would've believed her, but she was acting off, as if she was hiding something.
"Visit? You've packed all of your things, you do realize that, right? You're my friend, you cannot simply leave me." I protested. However, despite my best efforts to stand my ground, Kate didn't budge. She shrugged, carelessly as she gestured for the servants to carry on carrying the boxes filled with her things.
"I am sorry, I truly am. It is just a matter of my family, I need to get to them. If things go well, I will return." Kate 'apologized' before turning away and pacing herself away from me. I stood there, completely baffled by her selfish action.
I hadn't moved out of my place for almost two minutes before I heard Mary's, almost, concerned voice calling me, immediately snapping me out of my thoughts. I looked up at her, still frozen in my place, as she spoke. "Are you alright? Well, either way, we have to get to breakfast. Your mother is joining us, and I just want to have a conversation with you, sort everything out."
I nodded, reluctantly, before Mary began escorting me to the dinning room. The recent even had made my mind race with thoughts, and the very look on Kate's face had told me that this wasn't her decision, this was her being forced to move back. And for whatever reason, I felt as if my mother had caused this as well. My mother was quite an unpredictable and a very unpleasant person, who was out to get everyone.
When we arrived at the dinning room, I saw that it was just going to be Mary, mother and I. No, there were more people than I had anticipated for there to be. Francis, Sebastian, Catherine and Henry were there as well. I saw how Catherine didn't look too pleased to be in the same room as me, and quite frankly it had began to bother me, especially since she was such great friends with my own, sadistic, pathetic mother! However, I could see why they had gotten on so well.
I took a seat beside Bash and in front of my mother, trying hard not to give my mother a deadly glare. However, the silence was soon disrupted by Catherine's sudden clap as she arose from her seat, with a very, fake smile on her face. "It is so nice to have a delightful breakfast with my family, it really is. Even if I am, in no shape or form, related to Jayné or her mother."
Of course, she was quick to turn this into a hate speech. Luckily for me, Mary had quickly interrupted the speech as she cleared her throat before beginning her little speech. "Now Catherine, I do not understand why you have to turn this into a negative speech towards Jayné. We should have a breakfast without this anger towards one another."
"Exactly, mother. Please do not make this breakfast anymore unpleasant." Francis had spoken up. Of course, what use was he? He had resented me as much as his mother did, still, I didn't know too well why he had hated me so much.
While the Valois family decided to argue about something, I glared at my mother before speaking my own thoughts. "Mother, Kate left today and I have a feeling that you're involved. Did you say anything to her?"
"Dear, why do you always assume I have something to do with your mishaps? Honestly, I didn't say anything to her, the young thing probably missed home." Mother simply answered, not even bothering to look at me as she drank her wine.
"Alright, enough!" Henry finally stood his ground. "This is a family breakfast, and these little private conversations shan't continue."
"Oh, yes. Family, alright." Catherine sneered. She glared at me with her hateful eyes as she drank some of her wine.
"I apologize that I am not apart of your family, your Majesty. However, I am still very confused as to why I was forced into a marriage I didn't agree to. Especially since I had never betrayed France." I spoke up as I arose from my seat. I saw my mother glare at me, with her disapproving look.
"Oh, don't make a scene and sit down." Mother warned me.
"No, I will not. The only evidence there was, was a lousy signed letter, which wasn't even properly forged. I had written to Mary, telling her to leave me alone, there was no arranged meetings. I was kidnapped. And something tells me that my mother had a lot to do with that."
Catherine glanced between the two of us before speaking up. "Well surely your mother wouldn't want you to be beheaded. Would she?"
"Exactly, these claims are outrageous! Henry blustered. Seeing the king and queen of France wouldn't even listen to me, I decided to sit back down. It was then I saw my mother's sly smirk, which she had tried to hide behind her wine glass.
The rest of the breakfast was tedious and absolutely horrible, and my mother didn't make matters any better. However, I felt that there could've been a way to convince Henry and Catherine that my mother was behind my kidnapping, I just needed evidence. And since evidence could've easily been forged and made up, I felt like I had a perfect chance to strike back at my mother and give her a taste of her own medicine.
I apologize for the lack of updates, and I promise I'll try to update more often. Also, I do realize this chapter of pretty short but the next ones will be much longer (hopefully).
Anyway, thank you so much for all of the support I've gotten and I really do appreciate it.
