The Legend of Rape
Chapter 3: Alien Rape
A/N: Set in Majora's Mask
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Link wandered over to Romani Ranch one day in hopes of getting some whole milk. The thin watered down shit the Butt Buddy Brothers had sold him gave him the runs and weakened his sword arm, so he was hoping whole milk would strengthen his bones…and help him grow up to be a tall, sexy bishie.
However, when he got to the ranch, a little red headed girl smacked him on the ass and called him "Grasshoppa" for some reason.
"Hey, you gotta help me! Tonight…they will come…they will come to take my pokemanz…"
"………….." Link said. The girl scratched her head.
"Oh…wait, did I say pokemanz? I meant kowz. Yesh, they will come tonight at 2:30 am sharp and steal all our kowz and do sexually perverted things to them…"
"……….?"
"I know…it IS frightening…Say! Will you help me, Grasshoppa? If you can keep them from molesting meh muu kowz…I'll give you a bottle of Valium!"
"XD……!" Link said, bouncing up and down.
2:30AM (THE HOUR OF DOOOOOMZ)
The whimpy red head ended up hiding in the barn while Link was left outside to fend for himself. He put on his handy dandy bunny hood and slid an arrow on his bow, ready to take down every last mutha fucka who dared to get in his way.
When they appeared, Link fired off showers of arrows, keeping the aliens at bay…but he didn't bother to look behind him, and an alien snuck up to him and covered the chibi Hero's eyes.
"……….!!!" Link yelled, which translated loosely to "I can't fucking see!"
More and more aliens swarmed around Link, and they set their flashlight heads on him and beamed him up to their mother ship. Link blacked out from shock.
When he came to, he was naked, face down on what looked to be a glass plate suspended in the air. There was a long metal object jutting out of his ass, and when he tried to move, he felt excruciating pain.
"…………..??!"
They appeared before him, at least five of them, and without warning, they began to shove a variety of metal objects in Link's ass, some of them with spinning tops, some with vibrating innards, others with horrible looking knobs thrusting in and out of them. The anal probing was so traumatic that it cost Link five and a half hearts of his life.
When 5:00 AM rolled around, they beamed Link back down to the ranch, where Romani found him twitching naked on the grass, an arrow lodged in the Chibi Hero's sore ass.
"Anal probing's a bitch," Romani said wisely.
".. :'( ……….." Link said, shivering.
