Ghosts of the Past

Disclaimer: I begged and begged and begged Santa for CSI last year, but did he give it to me? Nope, nada, still not mine. Also, I make it a policy of mine never to read the fandom I'm currently writing, so other than a couple of stories I've had on alert for the past year (almost as long as I've been writing this fic) I have no idea what anyone else has been writing about for the CSI page.

A/N: Don't know how long this one will be, just an idea that came to me a about a year ago. (Yes that's how long I've been writing this, and I'm not finished yet). I haven't had the internet at home until a couple of weeks ago, hence only just being able to start putting this up. Probably way out of character, but hey, do I give a damn?


Chapter One

"You're very quiet this morning" Grissom observed as he and Sara drove back to the lab around 0630hrs.

"You know it officially became her birthday six hours ago" Sara replied.

"Yes" Grissom replied as one lone tear escaped.

"It's hitting me really hard this year" Sara admitted "not that its ever easy…but she'd have been ten this year - it seems like a real milestone…another one we're missing".

She was openly grieving by the time they got to the lab, and it was talking all of Grissom's will power not to do likewise. That was when he made the decision, this year they were going to speak out - the team deserved to know, and he said as much to Sara, who nodded sadly and let him lead her inside.

The deposited their evidence in the respective area's of the lab, and then made their way to the break room, the last one's back at end of shift. Sara was no longer sobbing, but it didn't take a scientist to figure out she was upset.

On the good side, the whole team was there, including Brass, so they'd only have to go through this once.

On the bad side Ecklie and the Sheriff were there as well.

"Just dropped by to congratulate you and your team on your recent successes" The sheriff said to Grissom.

'Ok, so maybe it did take a scientist' Grissom thought see as the Sheriff hadn't registered either Sara or his very shaky emotional states.

"Something wrong Ms Sidle?" Ecklie questioned.

'Ok, I take that back' Grissom thought, 'a politician just noticed.'

"Um, yeah" Sara whispered as the tears started again. Grissom lead her to a vacant chair and stood behind her, hands resting on her shoulders.

"This is really hard to talk about" Grissom began, not really caring about Ecklie and the sheriff, only about the woman in front of him, "but it's hitting us both really hard this year, so we decided you all need to know…even though it's something that's really hard for us to tell you".

Grissom had tears in his eyes as well and everyone was in speechless at seeing so much emotion in their boss, till Greg braved up as asked "Tell us what, boss?"

However it was Sara who answered tearfully.

"Today was our daughter's birthday" she answered softly before burying her head back in her hands.

"What!" both Catherine and Brass exclaimed together, while Warrick and Nick sat dumbfounded and Greg looked at them as though they'd both grown three heads.

"Let me start at the beginning" Grissom said as he found another chair and pulled it up beside Sara with his arm around her shoulder. "We haven't told you before now, because we agreed when Sara came to work here we would only be able to have a professional relationship, not a personal one."

"Then how?" Warrick asked.

"Do any of you remember when I used to take leave regularly?"

"Yeah, until Sara came to work here" Warrick observed.

"Right. And the only time I took a whole month off?"

"Sometime around Christmas a long time ago" Catherine offered.

"Yes, it was a long time, ten years in fact" Grissom said. "I went to San Francisco to be with Sara for our daughter's birth."

"But…but you don't have a daughter" Greg said confused.

"Had Greg, not have" Sara explained as she spoke up again, having stopped the flow of tears enough to be able to talk.

"Today, 20th November 1996, our daughter was born…but she…she was very ill…weak…small…so tiny…she…she died 12 days later" Sara sobbed.

"She was very ill…the doctors said it was a miracle that she lived that long" Grissom said quietly.

Catherine was overwhelmed with sympathy for Sara, ok so they'd never really got along all that great…but losing a child must have been so horrible for her…no wonder she didn't like having to deal with children on cases - it would only serve as a bitter reminder.

"What was her name?" Nick asked gently.

Sara looked at Grissom, signalling for him to answer.

"Julie-Ann" Grissom said "Julie-Ann Sidle-Grissom, and before you ask Nick, Julie after my mother, and Ann, Sara's middle name".

"I've normally assigned both of us separate solo cases on the night of the 20th, hence none of you have known how it affects us, but we decided on the was back this morning it was time to tell you all" Grissom stated.

Everyone was completely shocked. No one could believe Grissom and Sara had had a child they'd never told them about. Even Ecklie ventured no snide remarks, though he looked as though he might have if the Sheriff and Catherine hadn't been sitting either side of him.

For a few moments there was absolutely no sound in the room apart from Sara's sniffles as everyone took in what they'd said.

"What did your daughter look like?" Nick asked quietly, breaking the silence.

"Like a beautiful tiny replica of her mother" Grissom answered.

"Except for her blue eyes" Sara added.

"Here" Grissom said as he pulled a photo out of his wallet from behind some credit cards and passed it over to Nick. Warrick, Greg and Brass crowed around him to look at the photo as well. It had obviously been taken in hospital not long after Julie-Ann was born. She was in Sara's arms and her face was shown clearly to the camera. Sara was sitting up in bed with Grissom's arm around her while he stood next to the bed. None of the guys had ever seen their boss look so happy!

Meanwhile Sara fished her own photo out of her wallet and handed it across the table to Catherine who was sitting shell-shocked between Ecklie and the Sheriff.

"It's the same photo Griss gave the guys" She stated. "It was taken just after she was born, probably the longest amount of time she was ever out of the incubator".

"She's beautiful Sara" Catherine commented looking at the photo, the men all nodding in agreement as they handed their photo back to Grissom.

"Why did you never tell any of us before?" Warrick asked.

As Sara had calmed down enough she decided to explain this time.

"When I came to work for Grissom it was on the condition that we'd have to leave our …'personal'…relationship in the past…cause he would be my supervisor. Though I have tried to push Griss a few times to have a relationship again, he's been adamant we can't because of the supervisor issue…hence, seen as you've never known us in anything other than a professional relationship, we couldn't exactly spring on you that we had a daughter".

"You gave up a personal relationship with your child's father to work with him?" Brass asked incredulous. Sara shrugged,

"It meant I got to see more of him…it was worth it to be able to see Gil everyday…or night I should say".

"I still think even with that it was inappropriate for Grissom to hire someone he'd had a romantic relationship with" Ecklie stated, entering the conversation for the first time. Somehow, funnily enough no one was surprised by the remark for the callous head of the department.

"Whether I agreed with you or not, which I don't by the way, that was a highly insensitive remark given the circumstances Conrad" The Sheriff said while glaring at him. He then turned his gaze to Grissom and Sara,

"Are you both roistered to work tonight?"

"Yes" Grissom replied while Sara merely nodded.

"Well I'm ordering you both to take two days emergency stress leave".

They both started to protest, but were cut of as he spoke again.

"No arguments. You both need the time and your team will manage fine without you…and if you don't accept it I'll personally suspend you both for the next 48 hours!"

"I guess we've got no option then" Grissom sighed defeated.

"That's correct. You shift is now officially over…both of you go home and get some rest…then spent some time together - personally not professionally!" He finished.

To tired and emotionally drained to argue further Sara and Grissom both nodded, said goodbye to their friends and left the lab, Grissom offering to take Sara home.

Meanwhile Catherine sat staring at the photo Sara had forgotten to get back from her, and was suddenly struck with a great idea for it.

TBC


Please let me know what you think, as I havn't submitted any writing for awhile, and would love to hear some of your opinions.

Thanks K.A.S