Disclaimer: got 99 problems and ownership of Reign aint one.

AN: LONG TIME NO SEE! BUT! It's Thanksgiving so I thought I'd finally publish this xx please don't hate me for how long this took.

Did some research for this chapter concerning Blois and its gardens and turns out during Henry's reign, they had a "pergola" put in. Basically, it's a trellis system made of arches so that greenery is over the top and up the sides. It's legit. Go look up "renaissance pergola" since I'm bad at explaining garden ornamentations lmao

TRIGGER WARNING REMINDER: this chapter concerns child death, so please read carefully. The first paragraph is the only bit that doesn't involve it.

Other than that, please enjoy the read!

It had been another full day at Blois and although they'd been here for a week or so, there was still much to be done to get the castle working to her standards, but they were nearly there. The children weren't so happy to be back at their lessons after the journey from Fontainebleau, but she'd promised them hours in the garden after they'd finished until it got too cold for them all to go out. Francis and the Scottish Queen had pulled her along this afternoon to watch them at play among the fading greens of the expansive gardens and so she'd sat in the autumn sun watching them run about the terrace. A few of the Court musicians had come out to give a musical background for the children at play, but the laughter of her children was music enough for her. Claude had been running after Francis and Mary while Elisabeth had sat beside her weaving flower crowns from the last of the late summer flowers for little Charles who had burbled and giggled in her arms. Her youngest son had looked so sweet with his crown and toothless smile, his chubby little hands reaching out to take a strong hold of the curls of her hair that had fallen from her pins. He'd yanked at her hair, but she hadn't minded one bit. Charles had been conceived during one of the hardest times in her life and she wouldn't begrudge her baby anything so long as he was happy and healthy. Here at Blois where so much had ended and begun, Catherine wasn't quite sure how she felt to be here once more. It was beautiful, but as a mother, she couldn't help but feel something terribly wrong here. Was it wrong of her to be this happy when her Louis…

Thankful that she'd already said her goodnights to her children and to Mary, Catherine found her way outside once more. She could barely stand to be inside when her memories swam with her cries, her prayers that God be merciful. Her apartments were rank with the tears she had shed just last year and she couldn't stomach the sight of the castle so untouched when there should be one more soul, one more Prince, one more son toddling inside her walls. She had imagined just this afternoon that as she sat with Charles and Elisabeth that perhaps Louis could have been sat at her feet playing with toy blocks adorned with his own flower crown made by his eldest sister. Louis would have had dark hair like his father and perhaps have had her nose. She'd imagined him grown, racing horses with Henry and Francis, dancing with his sisters at Court. Louis would have been a brilliant Prince, another child for her to love. The night air stung her eyes as the tears she'd held at bay for a year began once more. Henry had been so proud, so happy when Louis had been born. She'd remembered how her husband had held their second son, how he'd smiled and announced to those gathered that Louis was his, was their beloved boy. Louis had lain quietly in his father's arms and that should have been the first sign. What kind of mother wouldn't notice that her son had been ill? Sometimes she could believe she was too happy to take notice of his poor health, but no. She should have known. She should have known and from the start had physicians working to aid and cure her boy. Maybe if they'd had more time to discern that his lungs were weak, perhaps then they could have been able to help fortify him.

The sure signs had only come after his christening and it was too late by then. She'd all but delivered him into the hands of Death with her heedlessness. It was her fault Louis was gone. Henry had ridden to her at the news that there would be no saving their son and she remembered fighting him off when he'd come through the doors and had taken her into his arms. Catherine had never struck her husband before, but she'd struck him then. She didn't deserve his kindness when it had been her fault that their son was losing his life with each breath he took. She'd lashed out, her hand finding the side of his face, her ring scratching his cheek, but the King had only taken hold of her wrist and carried her from the room. Henry had been by her side that night as she'd cried and raged and when their Louis finally passed, he'd held her even more tightly. They'd spent the next month together, his tears on her shoulder and hers on his. Her pregnancy with Charles was announced the next month after Louis' passing and as they laid their son to rest, she'd kissed his coffin and promised he wasn't being replaced. Nothing could fill the burning hole in her heart, and she hoped that in his place in Heaven, Louis knew that he was still so loved. Muffling her sobs with a jeweled hand, Catherine looked up into the night sky and wondered if her boy was looking down on her now. Leaning against the pergola where his brother and sisters had played just that afternoon, the Queen's hot tears were made cold by the breeze that swept through the gardens. The clanking of her guards' armor and the sound of footsteps picked up on the wind, she turned away from the sound and hastily dabbed at her eyes with her handkerchief. Much as she was a grieving mother, so, too, was she a reigning Queen and never would she allow another to see her so undone.

The scent of her husband enveloping her as a warm cloak was placed over her shoulders, Catherine turned as he spoke. "It's too cold to be out."

"I haven't been gone long." Years of training having taught her how to control her voice after a cry, there was no hint of how she'd been grieving just moments before.

"Not from what your ladies told me when I went to bid you goodnight." He was reaching, trying to pull down those walls she was so good at putting up, and he hoped she'd let him.

Her husband's concerned tone had her turning back to the night sky, leaning a bit more heavily onto the frame of the pergola surrounding them. "I didn't realize the hour had grown so late."

"All the better for stargazing, I suppose." Henry wasn't quite sure he enjoyed the shrug to her shoulders, but continued on as best he could. "Do you watch them often?"

"I like the quiet of them, the peace."

"And the stars make no comments when you're crying." The way she froze and clutched at the handkerchief in her palm made him realize just what it was that had driven her from the sheltering walls of the castle as she made to open her mouth. "Please, don't apologize. I miss him too."

"After a year I'd thought I would manage being here more easily." She spoke quietly, her words nearly taken away on the wind.

The King's answer was immediate. "We can move somewhere else. We can have the servants pack lightly and move to St. Germaine or Amboise with the rest of our things to follow. The children would love another carriage ride. Claude was saying how she liked playing with the horses when we stopped along the way."

"We needn't leave, Henry." The way she smiled cut at his heart. "It's difficult, but I'll be fine."

"I don't want this place making you feel this way."

"I always feel this way." The fact this was the place Louis left them made it all the more difficult.

Wanting to ease her heart in whatever way he could, Henry decided he should share his own pain if only to let her know she wasn't alone, that he felt the loss of their boy. "…sometimes I think I can hear another voice among our children."

"I hear it too."

AN: *gently pats you* I hope this was okay after being gone so long? Let me know what you thought! Another chapter is in the works!

PopRockShawty: No, Catherine doesn't dislike Mary. Show Mary even said something along the lines of how she and Catherine had been quite close when she was young, and that's how I'm playing them now. The reason why she disliked Mary in the show was due to the prophecy. The carriage wasn't actually sabotaged or anything, he'd just had it so that it was never brought around. It's in the chapter lol

CallmeCordelia1: HMU BRUH

FaerieBreath: ahhahhaaha okay so yes, this chapter ends kind of dumb, but it's going somewhere!

Pickleshibby: I THINK I'm going to delete my AO3 account and restart because I honestly hate the way I laid things out and want to use it more AS an archive? So like, ONLY finished pieces on there? Idk lemme know your thoughts on my deleting my AO3 account and remaking it!

Guest Reviewer Katie: LMAOOO homie you're a fave. I've started in on the "aftermath" - but I think I'll be posting it on here whenever I get to it! Xx thank you for reviewing as always!

EmmatheEvil: Hahahha I hope you enjoyed your read!

AN: Just wanted to say thank you to everyone who came back, yall give me life and I'm sorry that I'm so bloody sporadic with my updating. Coursework is kicking my butt :(