He tried it once, just once, making the images in his head real, he learned his lesson soon afterwards as to why it wasn't a good idea, he'd just wondered how he would react, although he had a feeling he already knew, the same way he reacted to anything overtly gentle, with bitter words and violence.

But still he was stupid enough to try it, just leaning over the bar, touching his chin to make him look up then kissing him, soft and the way people should kiss, not the way they always did. The yellow eyes widened and there was a brief moment of stillness in which Mizuki thought that hey, maybe Sly wouldn't punch him.

Then he punched him. Hard. Albeit he was probably so alarmed that his aim wasn't quite as perfect as it normally was, neither was his lunge as forceful as he'd known it to be in the past, but his fist still hit him pretty hard, right in the mouth too.

There was heavy silence as he recovered from the blow and Sly rubbed at his reddening knuckles with those half hidden in his cast, ah, he couldn't use his dominant arm which had explained the lack of force behind it. "Okay, so I deserved that," he managed to laugh as he swallowed down blood and examined the torn inner lining of his lip with the tip of his tongue, thick red fluid trickling down his throat as Sly just scowled.

"The fuck was that for?" His eyes were a little more narrowed than they should be, lip twitching the tiniest bit and tongue escaping to swipe across the place the bartender had just touched, insult too tacked on, anger not real, a façade to cover for his sudden alarming feeling of fear, "asshole."

"Wanted to see how you'd react," it wasn't a lie so it was easy to say, to shrug afterwards as if it wasn't really a big deal, as if it had just been an act of morbid curiosity rather than an idea that had been burning him up for days without any sign of it stopping. But now he'd done it he wanted to do it again, to coax Sly into accepting it, into returning the affection that made him react so viciously, wanted to show him he deserved it. Damn, he was fucking far gone enough that he wanted Sly to initiate it, for no good reason as he just had.

"What did you think I was going to do?"

"Punch me," he saw no point in lying, because Sly was hardly the type to pull away and blush madly, nor the type to follow along with the almost affectionate action, he'd expected some kind of aggressive end to his stupid idea, and he'd been right.

Sly didn't respond to that, just stared at him as if to ask why on earth he'd done it having already known it would end in his being punched, hard, in the face at point-blank range, deeming him a moron and just stealing another of his cigarettes. "Don't do shit like that again."


The whole, 'keeping his feelings hidden until either he or Sly died', plan, wasn't going as smoothly as he'd anticipated and he really should have expected that given how atrociously his plans always ended, even the best ones. So it was, he supposed, to be expected that he'd be a little less able to be quite as rough as Sly might like now he'd come to the crushing realisation that there was something more than friendship here.

He should too have realised that Sly now knew him far too well to not be able to sense such a huge shift in his behaviour, he should have known it was coming, the day when he'd suddenly be attacked, verbally at least, about his weirdness. But he liked to live day to day like the moron he was, so he didn't plan for that eventuality, didn't think of an excuse he could use to put Sly off the trail, he just didn't think, and that was always his greatest downfall.


Something strange was going on, and at first he blamed it on his own actions. How nice he was being had obviously gone to the bartenders head and he seemed to think he could treat him like some delicate little princess instead of the same way he always did. But he kept catching him staring, which was complimentary in its own way he supposed, but he didn't much appreciate the unknown emotion he always showed when he did it, how he'd smile almost queasily if he was caught or questioned.

It was fucking bizarre, he didn't much like it and while he wanted it to stop he had to admit that some of the softer things were kinda nice, or helpful as he liked to put it, like the hands in his hair pushing it out of his face instead of tugging when he sucked his dick. Helpful. But that was about the only example he could find that could actually be deemed enjoyable purely because it made his life easier, Mizuki rubbing feeling back into his wrists after he'd been pinning them above his head wasn't massively helpful, it was nice but utterly unnecessary and probably not something he'd even do himself.

He'd started kissing him too, well obviously he'd always done that, had been since the first time Sly had thanked him for breakfast with an open mouth and the tiniest flick of tongue onto surprised lips, but he kissed him differently now. He kissed him when they were done, one small press of damp lips onto his shoulder usually, his arm or other places sometimes when he couldn't reach, never his lips, his neck, his inner thighs or stomach. Never in a normal place. Always in a place that was so utterly innocent it made Sly's hairs raise all at once and his spine prickle even as he caught his breath and let him get away with it every time because it was just easier and if he started an argument he wouldn't get a second fuck.

But it was odd, and he didn't know if he liked it even as he let it continue, things bubbling up inside him until he was studying every move the other made, seeing the extra worry he aimed at bruises and fresh wounds, almost getting a lecture about the neat row of cuts etched into his soft inner thigh. Something was wrong, different, and he was more than determined to figure out what so he could beat it out of him and they could continue the way they had been for so long without any more interruptions.


"You're being really fucking weird lately, or weirder than usual anyway, the fucks up with you?" It wasn't even remotely how he'd meant to ask, but that was how the words had escaped and he guessed it was as good a way to question it as any other he might have skilfully concocted.

It was worryingly easy to admit it, to just say it, calmly and like the fact he knew it to be, to just let the words that had been mutating and growing in his brain escape, to let them infect the air between them like a virus. It wasn't even like he'd blurted it out in a moment of illogical panic, he'd just said it plain and simple like he might say anything else when questioned so aggressively.

"I love you."

His brain seemed to realise how incredibly stupid that had been only after Sly had heard it, registered it and begun to process it, so there was no way he could just turn it into a jab, however on earth he might have done that. But he'd done dumb things before, and while this probably seemed monumental to anybody looking from the outside, Mizuki couldn't help but feel a little illogically relieved, because now it was out he didn't have to keep it hidden any more. It was out there and he could relax and stop being so on alert all the time, he could act strange and Sly would know why, would understand it was because things had gone too far for him and he couldn't help it.

But Sly just raised both his eyebrows, regarding Mizuki as if he had just announced he was a squirrel or something equally bizarre and rolled his yellow orbs a minute later, "okay… So that was weird. But anyway, I'm not here to chat, lovely as I find your company."

And that was that, his huge admission, the secret he'd been holding close to his chest all these weeks was out, and Sly didn't give one single fuck, honestly he didn't know what he'd been expecting, but it surely would have consisted of more than that one word, 'okay.' But it was sort of what he'd expected so he didn't see the point in causing an argument, he had the feeling one would come later anyway, once Sly had given himself time to brood over this, to pick it apart and work out how Mizuki would use this to manipulate him.

He just poured more drinks, made his extra strong and wondered how long this would take, how soon he'd be alone to feel shitty and realise that once again, he'd put his interests in the wrong person, that he'd messed things up again.


But they were done now and he was silently fuming because he knew Sly could be callous, but to just continue the way they always did after he'd said what he had was too malicious even for him, trying to keep the cadence of his voice neat and calm. "Are you not even going to acknowledge what I said?"

"Wasn't planning on it," Mizuki's lip twitched and he shrugged, extricating himself from damp sheets and turning back to face him a moment later, expression all Mizuki needed to see to know how mocking his tone would be as he continued, practically leering across the bed at him. "Try not to think about it too much, bartender, wouldn't want you doing something stupid, would I?"

"Like what?" He didn't say anything, he just shot him a look, eyes lowering a moment later like he couldn't hold his gaze, swallowing too thickly and coughing harshly into his fist, yanking back on clothes that weren't even his to begin with. He wouldn't listen even if he spoke and Mizuki knew it, he'd get finished dressing and leave and slam the door behind him, abandoning the bartender and all his kindness and ignoring his feelings, voice harder. "You get cold easy, huh?"

"It's November, it's freezing."

Angry tones rising, naked skin chilling in the previously warm air, exotic tan on pasty white, fingers overlapping spindly wrists and hollow feelings darker than the words which accompanied them, "that's not what I meant."

"Let go of my arm," spitting and hissing and much more a snake than a lion now, recoiling and if he'd had longer fangs he would have bared them and shimmied away on his belly, close to the ground where only his feet could stay. Mizuki thought he let go, but then perhaps Sly just tore himself free, staring at him for a moment with expression hard and jaw tensed, parting his lips as if to say something then the words dying because he didn't know what to say. He knew, of course, what Mizuki wanted to hear, some kind of understanding, a similar statement of mutual affections, but he couldn't give that and hadn't he acknowledged him already just by staying this long?

"The doors locked."

"Then I recommend you get the fucking key and unlock it before I kick it down." Hollow threats he recognised but this one had the faintest tinge of truth to it, sighing as if that was the only issue he had to deal with right now, standing to yank on sweatpants and absently remembering entering his living room once to find Sly, uninvited and wolf whistling at him. But there was nothing but stony silence now, Sly had been trying to snare him and had succeeded as he probably would with anything else were he to actually try, and now the hunt was over, the game was done and things were dull and boring and Mizuki had gotten caught too well in his trap.

He hesitated on the threshold, as if debating stepping into the chilled air outside or staying, but of course no such idea entered his mind for even a second, just poking a finger at his chest aggressively, deliberately not touching his hot skin, like a radiator. "You better fucking forget you ever said what you did."

"What if I don't want to?"

It was odd, that he chose to be calm now, that his words came measured and even and with no shortness of breath or chest pain or crushing sense of dread, just filtering out neatly and showing the intention he didn't realise he'd had until it was verbalised by a suddenly foreign tongue.

"Your loss."

"You always were." Did that even make sense? He had no idea but it was like words were forming by themselves and based on the irritated tut that left Sly's lips as he stalked away it made perfect sense, to him at least. It was true, Sly was his loss, economically, socially, emotionally, he came into people's lives and sucked and sucked away at them until everything was gone. Maybe that was his aim, to reduce whoever he'd targeted to the same level as him, to a state where they were so desperate, so horribly broken that they'd have to stay with him to survive, perhaps that was his technique.

But he wasn't that cunning and Mizuki wasn't foolish enough to believe he felt no guilt for his actions, it had lingered there for a split second as a pretty, four letter word had fell from soft lips into the space between them. Regret spreading heavy in the suddenly claustrophobic air in the apartment he'd left behind.


God, every single fucking time he so much as let somebody in they did something to fuck him over, his parents had abandoned him, his Grandma had tried to keep him locked inside so he could be the perfect grandson, and now Mizuki apparently loved him. It was even more aggravating because he'd thought Mizuki got him, understood him even a little, he'd been naive and foolish and had assumed the bartender wasn't fucking stupid enough to fall for him, let alone to actually tell him.

He was angrier than before. When his parents had left he'd been sad, heartbroken, he'd been a child whose parents had left him behind with an emotionally constipated grandma who objected to having to spend her twilight years caring for a child that wasn't even related to her. But now he was old enough to be angry, to be enraged by the fact that Mizuki had betrayed him like this, because Sly had trusted him, had liked him, he was nice when he needed to be and hard when Sly needed to be taught a lesson and he'd liked that. He'd seen Mizuki as a friend, as somebody who actually did care, as much as he continued to insist that he didn't need people to care for him, and now he'd opened up to him a little and he'd let his walls falter and they'd been crushed to rubble.

But no, if anything he was rebuilding them, higher and stronger than ever, so nobody else could ever get anywhere near to him, couldn't even hope to crack the plaster that held them together, so he'd never be manipulated and tricked like this again. He felt a little scared too, at how fast Mizuki could make him relaxed, could reassure him and make him break his own rules, staying after they fucked to chat and lie too close together, he'd actually been laughing for the first time in what felt like an eternity. He'd let him offer clothes and food and hot showers and had accepted because he didn't seem to have an ulterior motive, he was a friend now, that was how he assumed friends treated each other. He'd liked him, and that stung because it hadn't been like with his parents, where he had to be sad about them going, where he had to care about them, this had been optional, or kinda optional anyway, emotions still evaded him.

But he'd chosen to let Mizuki worm his way in, he'd chosen to try and be nice to him, to not yell and glower and scowl, he'd chosen to smile instead and to insult him but not with malice and with a grin. He'd chosen to act unlike himself and he'd been tricked all along, had been played for a fool, might even have helped the bartenders feelings develop and that made him feel physically sick.


He supposed it had gone better than it could have done, yet at the same time had somehow gone exactly as well as he'd expected it to, which wasn't very, just ending up sat in his empty apartment, back aching where nails had scratched and feeling distinctly numb.

He needed to change his bedding, and to clean up the bottles on his coffee table, to wipe away wet circles before they marked it forever, but moving seemed like a lot of effort and besides his sheets smelled of Sly. So he sighed, long and reluctant through his nose, just letting his body fall to the side, lying awkwardly across his sweat-damp sheets and blinking absently at the ceiling, room so much emptier, so much quieter now he was alone again. The air was gradually getting staler, scent of sex fading and only that of musk and alcohol remaining, lips thick with the taste of yellow eyes and the touch of blue hair, shutting his eyes for a second and squeezing hard so white blobs marred his vision.

Sly had brought his drink into the room with them, the remainder of the vodka, diluted with coke he'd poured messily into the thin neck, and his eyes lingered on it too long, the red label matching the thin lines and spots on his sheets from backs clawed at and necks bitten too hard. He'd been swigging at it the whole time, in between sloppy, biting kisses and when they changed position and he was on top, bottle clutched in his hand and liquid sloshing as he rocked his hips and almost snarled as Mizuki's fingers dug in too hard.

It wasn't how it was meant to be, not how things was meant to go, they weren't supposed to have sex after Sly dismissed him like that, they should have argued, or he should have left or something else, anything else, should have happened. He shouldn't be left alone with his statement unanswered in words but so obviously unrequited, laying in damp sheets that made him feel a little sick and more exhausted than ever, not sure if he should just curl up under his duvet and ignore it all, or if he should do something stupider.

If he was a braver man he'd do neither, he'd get up, shower and put on fresh bedding, he'd get back in control and rehearse what he planned on saying to Sly the next time he saw him, but he was a coward and a big one too, and the idea of all that intimidated him. So it was for the familiar neck that he reached, cold under his touch and it was the lip he drank from, where Sly's had been not half an hour before, closing his eyes and tilting his head back and swallowing down the burning.

He knew it was becoming a problem again, the drinking, too much and when it wasn't really normal, but he didn't know what else he could do, the alcohol took his mind off it, took his mind off everything because he wasn't capable of much when he was completely wasted. So right to the base then, where things ran dry and there was nothing more to sip and even less to say, stomach groaning and expression dull and dismal as he stared at himself in the bathroom mirror and bloodshot eyes gazed just past him.

He couldn't even meet his own eyes.


Every night was the same now, he'd come in from work and start drinking, or he'd begin to drink at work, accepting the offer of joining a customer with too much lipstick and her breasts thrust across the counter at him. Would do a shot with her to keep her happy and the voices in his head quiet more than anything else, would pretend he couldn't see Kin giving him odd looks as if he was vomiting everywhere and falling over instead of just having a little fun with a customer who tipped well and understood that flirting was one thing but anything else was not happening.

It wasn't like he knew anything, or at least he tried to tell himself that but he and Tio were too close already, always talking with their heads together whenever they got quiet, making excuses to do tasks together just to get away from him. But that was probably just paranoia and honestly who wouldn't be paranoid after all this? He had secrets now that he didn't want anybody to know but Tio already did and by the look of it Kin most likely did too, somehow that bothered him more than Sly's reaction, or he pretended it did anyway.

Better to say he was drinking too much out of fear of his entire reputation being destroyed than due to some stupid, unrequited feelings he ought not to have gotten in the first place. The first was logical, the second was pathetic and until now only Sly thought that of him.


"Ah, that was so good! Thanks for seeing it with me, Nobu sounded pretty sick."

"Sure," he smiled then, genuinely, because the initial nervousness of this had faded off somewhere in between them throwing popcorn at people and their exiting the cinema into the already dark evening. Hesitating for a moment because while he was obviously glad the film had been as good as he'd hoped, he wasn't sure it deserved such a rapid review, "but don't you think the ending was a bit thrown together?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well everything resolved really fast, like she just forgave him and they got together, then the wizard decided to leave the forest creatures alone and go back to his own planet."

"But that's good, at least it was a happy ending."

"Hm," he debated this for a moment, because yes it had been a happy ending, everything had gone well, the couple were reunited and presumably would live a wonderful life together, and the world had continued on mostly unchanged for all in it. Happy it might be, but satisfying it really was not. "I'm not a big fan of them."

"Happy endings? Why not?"

He had that feeling he was being read again, that Kin's eyes were narrowing as they regarded him, ditching his finally drained cup into a trash can just past the small cinemas entrance. He could almost visualise his expression. He'd be frowning just a little, one side of his mouth turned down and he'd be wearing that intense, almost probing stare that made him uncomfortable, working things out about him without needing even a single word. "They're unrealistic, life usually doesn't have happy endings, I like films that end kinda badly, or where nothings really resolved, like spirited away."

He hadn't stopped walking, but his gait certainly faltered for a second, allowing Tio to catch up, always half a step behind him due to his unfair height and long legs, frowning in clear disagreement and sounding almost amused with incredulity. "Wait, wait, you think spirited away doesn't end happily?"

"Of course it doesn't!" He was surprised to hear genuine offence seep into his voice, because an amazing film it undoubtedly was, but if Kin thought it ended happily then they had very different definitions of what that meant. But a compromise could be reached and he had no objections to spending more time with Kin when things were so casual between them, dropping his weird defensiveness and suggesting a new plan of action. "Okay, let's get coffee or something and I'll talk you through it."

"Upgrade that to crappy fast food and I'm in."

He debated this for only a moment, because sure they'd eaten popcorn during the movie, but a good deal of it had been thrown and it was hardly filling, so he just nodded, amused at how pleased Kin looked and feeling remarkably okay for once. "Deal."


So there they were, sat in some off brand fast food joint with vaguely sticky tables and cheap fake leather seats in obnoxious colours, Tio explaining, in great detail, every single issue in the endings of various films, studio Ghibli or otherwise, Kin interjecting or agreeing occasionally. Sometimes they'd disagree and the discussion would get a little loud, other diners glancing over and Tio feeling a little embarrassed under their stares, at how suddenly passionate he was about this, feeling the stares on the back of his pink-flushed neck.

He was somewhat surprised too at how interested Kin seemed to be in his theories, just letting him speak and occasionally interjecting with his own ideas or with disagreements, never aggressively even when their opinions clashed. He just sat there, eating fries and picking gherkins out of his burger, sliding them across to Tio the moment he announced he loved gherkins, nodding as he sipped his drink and smiling when he got so enthused by his own ideas he almost sent his burger skidding off the table.

"Ah, I um, think I'm done now. Sorry that was probably super boring."

"Not really," that wasn't massively reassuring and he felt bad now, because he'd essentially been the second choice for company tonight anyway since he'd been Nobu's replacement, and now he was probably boring him to death. He was too suddenly embarrassed to see that he had a mouthful of burger, that he'd answered through it and was now hurrying to finish as he saw him almost sink into his chair, like he was ashamed at having taken over the conversation. "It's interesting, and I think you're kinda right, that bad endings stick in your head more? Plus you got really into it and started doing all these big hand movements, was kinda funny."

He'd felt better then, because maybe he wasn't boring, or maybe Kin had genuinely enjoyed listening to him explain why he thought what he did, he hadn't seemed uninterested anyway, but he should have expected the little bit tacked on the end, knowing that when he said funny he really meant cute. It was odd, how he could read him, or how he felt he could anyway, how he could tell now when he was holding back from doing something Tio might find weird, or might break the rules of them being friends first.

He worried, occasionally, if having said they'd be friends 'first' might be cruel, it sort of insinuated something else would definitely happen when for all he knew it might not, he might never feel like that about Kin and giving him false hope wasn't something he'd ever intend to do. But he just frowned, well, pouted really, glancing off to the side and flicking a very burnt chip at him, bouncing off his hand and onto the already grubby floor, Kin clearly about to throw one back only to glance at the staff who'd been watching them warily all night and cease in his movement, eating it instead.


It was still fairly early but it was already beginning to get dark outside, winter drawing closer every night and the people on the streets thinning out just a little, Tio watching through the large window he faced absently, eyes following the mother with the small baby, the old couple, the man running past. Kin's voice broke through his lazy haze easily, and for some reason he assumed he'd been looking outside too despite him facing the opposite direction, "Tio, is that Mizuki?"

"Hm, where?" He turned to follow his nod, eyes widening in shock then narrowing as he frowned, noticing the way the bartender was lazily, blearily putting curly fries into his mouth, with a significant lack of coordination that meant only one thing. "Oh god, he's drunk."

"On a Tuesday? At," he paused to check his coil, frown deepening as he locked the screen and finished that thought. "Half seven?"

"He's got a bit of a drinking problem, not a big deal," Kin looked like he disagreed, watching Mizuki try to take a bite of burger, almost all the filling falling out and actually grimacing as the bartender observed it blearily, bacon and most of the burger flopping out from the bun. "What should we do?"

"From the point of view of your friend, or of a person uninvolved in your business?"

"Whichever." He didn't much care now that he and Mizuki weren't exactly friends, or that he'd been an absolutely hurtful, self-centred piece of absolute shit. Okay, so maybe he cared a little, but he wanted to know what Kin would do, knowing already that they should definitely make sure he was okay and possibly drag him home, just regarding Kin and blanching a little as his expression fell even more, surely a sign that nothing good was happening behind him.

"I think we should make sure he's okay, he mig- Oh, I think he's asleep. In his burger."

"Seriously?" he turned then, too fast, able to see the staff at the tills muttering to themselves, not looking pleased, regarding his boss and apparent best friend where he did actually seem to be asleep, or perhaps just resting on the wrapper his food had come in. "Oh my god, okay, operation deal with the drunken mess, we should get him home before they chuck him out and he ends up passed out in a back street or something."

"Yep," he stood first, Tio stuffing the last mouthful of his burger into his mouth because drunken friend or not, he'd paid for the damn thing and he wanted it, he hadn't wanted his evening to be ruined by Mizuki being inconsiderate again purely for a late night snack but he hadn't been given that choice. Not even late night in fact, and although he'd pretended not to be worried about him being paralytic at barely eight pm, this was bad even for him and as they heaved him out of his chair and carried him out, he felt nervousness worming in his gut.


They hadn't locked the door and that had probably been their first mistake, Kin's eyes flicking to it immediately as the handle turned, Tio still busy regarding the paralytic bartender they'd basically dragged home, chewing on his lip. So he didn't see him arrive, not bothering to close the door behind him nor retreating when he realised he had unwitting company, just nudging at Mizuki's foot, raising an unimpressed eyebrow when he didn't so much as move.

"The fuck happened to him?"

Then of course, he turned around, looking away from his friend and meeting yellow eyes and blue hair, taking in his bruised cheek and just turning hard suddenly, his tone had been unimpressed and a little bit disparaging and he really didn't appreciate that. Tio swallowed hard and he didn't know what would have happened without Kin's hand on his shoulder, holding him back or reassuring him, he didn't know, he just grit his teeth and ignored the uncaring way Sly poked at Mizuki's ankle, frowning.

He figured he may as well tell the truth, voice completely cold as he spoke and not even a little emotional, explaining as plainly and briefly as he could, he didn't want to spend a single second of his time talking to Sly. "He got drunk and passed out in a burger place."

"Seriously? Dude's more fucking messed up than me."

"That would be difficult," this was Kin, feeling Tio shake under his palm and squeezing for a second, releasing to let him continue covering Mizuki up with the blanket, disappearing into the kitchen and eying Sly warily as he put a washing-up bowl next to his head.

"And who the fuck are you? His boyfriend?" He gestured to Tio then and the jerk of his head wasn't nice, the judging, condescending sneer of his lips rubbed Kin up the wrong way and his words were hard, defensive.

His tone was met with equal aggression, more tightly held in and controlled better but there nonetheless, lip curling up the tiniest bit and Tio surprised to admit he was a little intimidating like this, without his wobbling smile and dimpled cheek. "His friend."

"Whatever you say, no need to get pissy."

He was in all honesty, behaving like a spoiled high school student, notably a female one, the kind of girl he'd seen in bad American movies, who drove flashy cars and broke people down with snide remarks and displeased expressions, a touch of that cliquey, attention seeking behaviour in his tone. He even went far enough as to check his nails when he finished, as if they were proving so dull to him there was really nothing else to do but check how broken and filthy they were, eyes snapping up the second Tio spoke. His behaviour was meant to evoke a reaction and he knew that, but even so he felt himself get offended, not for himself though, he was irritated on Kin's behalf, annoyed he'd speak to him like that, like he was just dirt on his shoe and unworthy of his breath.

"There's nothing here for you, why don't you just get out?"

"Tio-" There was irony in the cautious tone in his voice, warning him to be careful, to back off, because when Kin defended him it was fine, but the other way round and nobody expected it, Kin didn't need defending and for a second he felt a hot flash of anger at being babied like that, at being seemingly not allowed to stand up for his friend.

"No, he's right, it's funny though, because there's more here for me than there is for you, hm, Tio?" Every word was scathing, carefully manipulated and wound together like fine silk to be as offending, as prying and insulting as it could be, to do the most hurt with the least words. It was a sneaky way to fight, to work out peoples insecurities and throw them back at them in words that somebody else might not get but that would wound the recipient deep, stirring anger or tears or whatever he wanted. "But I suppose I can come back another day, pity, I'd love to hang about with you and your little friend, but I have better things to do than talk to losers."

He didn't like that, didn't like the way he'd glanced Kin up and down with a sneer then inclined his head as he'd almost spat the word friend, he'd worked him out already, had seen him jump to defend Tio and worked things out. But the second in command had been the victim of Sly's mental probing before and it felt horrible, he wouldn't let Sly do the same thing to Kin, to use his feelings, things he couldn't help, against him. "Likewise."


Kin waited until he was gone to speak, apartment door left ajar in his wake and a mood thicker than syrup trailing behind him with every step he took, Mizuki completely unaware of the chaos he was causing as he just twitched in his paralytic slumber.

"You okay? I've never seen you like that before."

He could have said anything right then, any combination of words, he could have ignored Sly's appearance completely, finished getting Mizuki settled then suggest they both just go home, he could have called Sly a cunt and made him laugh, but no. He asked if he was okay, he made it sound once again like Tio was some delicate flower who couldn't stand up for himself and would crack after one nasty conversation with the object of Mizuki's desires.

It pissed him off.

"I'm fine! I can defend myself, alright? I don't need you looking after me!" Then followed the silence and honestly what had he been expecting? Self-righteous anger, ungrateful spite flooding him and pouring out as fast as it had come, leaving his tongue spongy and dry like cake with too little frosting, Kin just watching him silently, expression unchanged.

"Sorry."

But he hadn't wanted him to say that either, wasn't entirely sure what he did want, but knew that hadn't been it, just nodded like he'd actually needed to apologise, like he'd deserved that word of guilt even as he was sure he was the only one feeling that in the room right now.

"He's not going to choke on his puke, is he?"

"He's on his side, he should be fine now," they were pretending his outburst hadn't happened and that was the way he'd always liked it, his occasional explosions of anger needed to be ignored, that he could be less than perfect was always shut away in a closet of things he'd rather not speak about. But for some reason these days Kin seemed to be rattling the handle.

"Let's go then. We've got rounds with him in the morning and it's getting late." No it wasn't, it was barely nine at night and Kin knew that even as he nodded and followed Tio out, watching him flick a lamp on and the main light off, watched as he didn't cover exposed feet with the blanket and as he blatantly, deliberately ignored the bartender.

They walked home in near silence twice as frosty as the ground was getting underfoot, and they parted in silence, Kin not offering to walk him the rest of the way and Tio not wanting it anyway. Meanwhile Mizuki slept on, blissfully unaware of the evening he'd ruined and the people he was isolating himself further from with every loud snore.


"Get up," his voice wasn't soft, not the apologetic, guilty one he'd usually use when waking somebody up and it seemed he sounded so harsh that even Kin looked surprised, lingering awkwardly in the doorway.

So it was certainly not a nice awakening, in fact he jerked into consciousness abruptly, eyes snapping open then immediately shutting as both bright sunlight and light from the bulb almost directly above his head shone right into his eyes, turned on deliberately, maliciously, by Tio himself, who stood over him looking distinctly unimpressed.

"We have rounds in half an hour, get ready."

"Tio, wha-?" The blanket that had seemingly been over him was yanked off, cold air rushing over him, still fully dressed and unable to remember much more than drinking way more than was advisable, wondering why he seemed so angry and what had happened, not even having to ask before he was telling him.

"Me and Kin were just sitting in Maji Burger, eating our food, minding our own business, when who does Kin spot, but you. Unconscious with fucking pickles stuck to your head," that wasn't entirely true, but Kin could see Tio was seriously pissed off and Mizuki would hardly remember it to object, voice getting more acidic as he continued, just scowling at him and face harder than he could recall it ever being.

"Oh no," he groaned, his voice was too loud and he winced every single time he spoke, seeming a little shriller than always and head pounding when he sat up, stomach churning unhappily and spying his washing up bowl by his feet, leaning forwards to see its contents and almost retching.

"Oh no is right, so we had to drag you back here, through the streets, at not even eight at night. Paralytic, throwing up everywhere, in fact I'm amazed you didn't piss yourself."

"Thank you," he was exhausted, had a horrific hangover and felt so terrible physically that he didn't even register the fact he should definitely feel bad morally too, for having made such a fuss and for having worried them, inconvenienced them, for ruining their night which had presumably been nice until they spotted his drunken ass.

"Oh you're welcome, now get up, you have a job to do."

"You're mean in the morning," he grumbled, head lowered as he stood and his stomach jerked abruptly, holding a hand to it and wincing as the urge to retch came strongly, not registering the disbelieving eyebrow raise from Kin or Tio's incredulous expression. At least not until he looked up and flinched at the sheer irritation on his face, wandering towards the bathroom and half apologising as he went, "which is reasonable because I'm an ass and ruined your night, right, right, yes. I'll go shower just…"

He waved vaguely around the room, head spinning too hard for him to form the offer to make themselves comfortable, hearing what he could only describe as an audible scowl from one of his guests and the sound of footsteps moving from carpet to tile.


Tio just sighed, anger leaving his face and looking tired, weary of having to look after Mizuki like he was an annoying child or younger sibling, "want a coffee?"

"In somebody else's house?"

"Best friends, remember? I'm used to helping myself to his shit," he shrugged but Kin still looked unsure, smiling and concreting his offer with something sure to wash away his discomfort, probably uncomfortable at just being there, having seen him sleep and being too involved in his life for somebody who barely knew him. "I'm having one."

"Alright then." He agreed easily and Tio smiled, noticing the hand come up to, presumably, rest on the small of his back as they headed into the kitchen, watching as it faltered and the gesture died, biting his lip for a second before deeming it unimportant. "Bet he's feeling terrible right now."

"I wouldn't be surprised, there was an empty vodka bottle in his room so who knows how much he'd had," he shrugged, because he didn't care if Mizuki had the worst hangover of his life, he was still a responsible adult with a job and people relying on him, employees and friends, people he needed to stay functioning for. Plus the idea of the bartender in pain was more than a little pleasing to him and he wondered for a second if he was a terrible sadist or if anybody would feel the same after what had happened between them. "It doesn't matter really, you take milk and sugar?"

"Both."

"Hmm," he drew the hum out, glad Mizuki was gone now and feeling the angry tension flow through him into the teaspoon he used to neatly measure instant coffee out into their mugs, no time to brew using the machine. "Thought you were more a black coffee kinda guy."

"Oh? I guess you think I'm sweet enough already," it was cheesy and dumb but it worked, lightening the move a little and Tio huffing a disbelieving laugh as he shrugged, declining to answer because he supposed Kin was kinda sweet.

"More the two jobs thing, figured you'd need the kick of it, working the day and then nights too," he hadn't realised at first that Black Needle wasn't Kin's only job, in fact he only had fairly recently when he'd arrived for his shift with a burn up his forearm and explained he got it at work. He'd elaborated among making drinks and taking payment that he waited on at a café during the day then worked at the bar at night, not explaining why but making some subtle references to rent that Tio just nodded at, deciding not to pry.

"Nah, I don't like bitter things, I just want the caffeine so I'm more of an energy drink person," more smiles, reflected back in the metal of the breadbin Tio faced, pouring freshly boiled water into both mugs, spooning in a little too much sugar for himself, because if he didn't like bitter things then he'd chosen the wrong person to befriend.

But fingertips were warm and fleeting on his own as he handed it over, spoons left in the sink because Mizuki should be perfectly able to wash them, should have been able to offer them drinks himself instead of retching in the bathroom, noise filtering through the door and Tio stubbornly ignoring it.

They headed into the living room and sat on the couch after checking it wasn't wet with vomit or urine or anything else unsavoury, Kin carefully shunting the slopping contents of the washing up bowl across the carpet and sitting a little stiffly on the couch.

"Tio," he acknowledged his noise with a hum, glancing up from both his mug and his thoughts to find Kin staring into the sick bucket as if it contained mysteries he was unable to solve, frowning as he continued. "I know he said thank you, but wouldn't sorry have been more appropriate?"

"Obviously, but like you said, he's a shit friend, he's probably just thinking about himself as usual," and they didn't know that Mizuki had cracked open the bathroom door, could hear, didn't know he was frowning and re-evaluating himself once again, because yes, that was exactly what he was doing, it was what he always did.