A/N: Yay, more readers! I thank you all for your awesome reviews. They inspired to update more. Now, on with the bachelor party action!

Chapter 3: don't I get a kiss good night?

Cameron busied herself in the kitchen, laying out the various items and pouring drinks. She glanced at House, sitting morosely at his piano, pecking out a tune, and ignoring Doris Wilson, who stood behind him, al little too closely. Curiosity getting the better of her, she called to him.

"House, can you give me a hand. I don't know where you keep stuff. There's absolutely no sense of order whatsoever."

He got up and shuffled to the kitchen and she asked quietly, "what's with you and Wilson's mom?"

"She got divorced between Wilson's 2nd and 3rd wedding. At the 3rd she was all over me. I guess she wants me to be Wilson's new daddy." He made a face.

Cameron giggled. "That's sweet though, that she thinks that much of you."

"It's just wrong. It's got this whole Mrs. Robinson vibe to it somehow."

Cameron, who had just taken a sip of water, snorted with laughter as she pictured Mrs. Wilson trying to seduce House.

"Don't kill yourself."

Cameron coughed and cleared her throat.

"Game's ready!" Wilson called out from the table set up in the living room.

"You're sitting by me." House ordered to Cameron. "You can keep me sane."

He dragged her over to the table and planted her in a chair, taking the one next to her. As predicted, Mrs. Wilson took the one on his other side. Foreman elbowed Chase and they both snickered.

"Now, Gregory, how do I play?"

House looked at Wilson, pleading with him.

"I'll show you Mom."

"Thank you James."

The game progressed from there with no incident until House felt a hand on his knee. He sighed. Cameron, on his other side, glanced down and smiled.

"I call," she said, laying her cards down.

"Royal flush," Mrs. Wilson said triumphantly, laying her cards down.

"Mom, that's a full house."

"Oh, dear."

"It's ok. It's still a pretty good hand."

The rest laid their cards down, and Wilson pushed the chips in his mother's direction.

"Way to play Mom."

"Yea, Mrs. Wilson, that was some poker face," Cameron said.

"You should play in tournaments Mrs. Wilson…Doris," House said, sarcasm evident in his voice.

Either Mrs. Wilson didn't pick up on it, or she chose to ignore it. She leaned towards House and said, "Thank you Gregory, and that was only my first game. You were such a good teacher." She rubbed his knee.

"But I didn't-," House began.

"Nonsense. You were teaching me in spirit. I could feel it. I think we have a mental connection."

Everyone choked down their laughter, Cameron letting a small giggle escape.

House got up quickly and retreated to the kitchen. "I need…fruit."

"Did you bring the movies Mom?" Wilson asked.

"We're supposed to watch porn!" House called loudly from the kitchen.

"We're not watching porn. I asked Mom to bring some of her movies."

"I can hardly wait," House mumbled under his breath.

"I brought The Sound of Music, The Notebook," House groaned loudly. "And Pretty Woman."

"At least Pretty Woman has a hooker in it."

"It's my bachelor party, I choose. I want The Sound of Music."

"Oh, come on Wilson. Have mercy! This is the lamest bachelor party ever."

"I'm having fun," Cameron piped up.

"Yea, this isn't so bad," agreed Chase.

"Foreman…I'm counting on you."

"I agree with Chase. I mean, we're hanging out together. That's the essence of a bachelor party-to have fun with your friends."

"You're all horrible minions."

"Oh, stop it Gregory. Go with the flow. Here, come sit by me."

"That's ok Doris. I really should sit by Cameron," he blurted out.

Mrs. Wilson looked puzzled. So did Cameron. She shot up an eyebrow at him.

"She is my girlfriend after all. It's only fair." Cameron's eyes went wide. He looked at her pleadingly, begging her to play along. She inclined her head slightly.

"I had no idea you were involved Gregory." Mrs. Wilson looked taken aback. Foreman, Wilson, and Chase looked surprised, but didn't say anything.

"I was going to keep it a secret, but why wait?" House walked over to her and slung an arm around her. Cameron felt herself stiffen at the contact. Then she allowed herself to relax and enjoy the feeling of him being so close. It almost felt natural.

Almost, if it hadn't been for the clearly fake smile on House's face.

Mrs. Wilson bought it. "I'll just sit by James and this nice young man then." Foreman looked uncomfortable for a second.

"But, you make sure you save a dance for me at the wedding, Gregory." Foreman relaxed, confidant that he wasn't going to take over Mrs. Wilson's affections.

Maria began singing about living hills, and House yawned.

"No matter how many times I see this, I still love it," Mrs. Wilson murmured with a smile. "Julie Andrews is so wonderful."

The movie continued, and House felt his eyes get heavier with each song. He glanced over at Cameron, whose eyes were on the screen. Why had he passed her off as his girlfriend? Then he looked over at Mrs. Wilson, entranced by the song "My Favorite Things," mouthing the words to the song.

"Oh, yea, that's why," he thought. He yawned again.

As the Von Trapps made their escape from Austria, Cameron was suddenly aware of a pressure on her shoulder that she hadn't noticed before. She looked down and smiled to herself.

House had fallen asleep and was using her as a pillow. She reached her arm around him and absently ran her fingers through his hair. They were supposed to be going out after all, right? She was doing him a favor by playing along, but she could have a bit of fun too.

His hair was surprisingly soft, despite the fact that she doubted it had been combed out in years. She leaned her head on his as the closing credits began to roll and listened to him breathe.

"Well, that was just wonderful!" Mrs. Wilson said, dabbing at her eyes with a hankie. "It always makes me sad at the end." She looked over at Cameron, who removed her head and tried to get the dreamy look out of her eyes that she knew to be there.

"Oh, don't do that on my account my dear, I'd do the same thing if I was in your place."

Cameron smiled at her. She liked Mrs. Wilson. The woman was just so likable.

Wilson shut the dvd player off and stood in front of the screen.

"Well I want to thank you all for coming and…House, wake up!"

House opened his eyes and removed his head from Cameron's shoulder.

"You drooled on me," she whispered with a grin.

"Sorry, it'll dry, I promise," he whispered back. They were close, their faces almost touching.

"Now, as I was saying, thank you all for coming. The wedding isn't for a few weeks yet, but there's still a lot to do. Your support is greatly appreciated. Have a good night, everyone!"

"James, would you walk me to my car please?"

"Sure Mom."

"See you all at work tomorrow," Chase called out as he and Foreman left.

"Bye!" Cameron called, realizing that as the door shut that she was alone with House.

"Well, I'll just get this out now. Thank you. I'm saying it once."

"You're welcome. How long does this go on?"

"Through the wedding. Mrs. Wilson…Doris, will be all over me if she finds out I'm single again."

Cameron snickered.

"It's not funny. It's scary."

"No, I'm pretty sure it's funny."

"Are you leaving?"

"I could…I guess."

"You were going to stay?" He asked it quietly.

"Well, I am your fake girlfriend…Besides, if you're going to fool Mrs. Wilson, you're going to have to fool James, plus Foreman and Chase. Might as well be realistic."

"You just wanna get in my pants."

Cameron blushed. "No, I'm helping you. You're trying to do this half-assed. If you do, it's not going to work out, and Doris will have more than her wedding dance."

House shuddered. "Fine, stay, but sleep on the couch. I know you're dying to get in my bed, but Mrs. Wilson…Doris, has killed any chance of me being up for a fake, meaningless bedroom romp."

"Excuse me? I want to get in your bed?! You were the one that started this whole thing. I'm just indulging you. If anything, you want me in your bed." She was smiling as said it. She had him, and she knew it, and the fact of him wanting her didn't bother her one bit.

"Good night Cameron."

"You're evading."

"No, I'm not. I'm tired."

"That's another thing. If I was in fact, your girlfriend, would you call me Cameron?"

"Probably."

"You would not!"

"How do you know?"

"Because I know. Call me Allie."

"Allie?! I really wouldn't call you that."

"Don't care. If you want my help, you do as I say. Otherwise, I'm out."

"I like this dominatrix attitude. Maybe a fake meaningless bedroom romp is a possibility after all…but only if you hurry."

She rolled her eyes at him. "I'm too tired for any romping. Good night…Greg."

"No one else is here, must you?"

"Yes. The image must be maintained for continuity's sake."

"Whatever. Good night…Cameron."

"Don't I get a kiss good night?"

"You're pushing it."

"Again, do as I say, or I'm out. Regardless of whether there are witnesses or not, this has to look real. How can you expect me to act the part when the others are around if it's not acted out behind closed doors? I'm a doctor, not an actress."

"Fine." He walked over to her and pecked her on the cheek.

"That'll do. Thank you."

He left, closing the bedroom door behind him.

Cameron sighed and grinned as she relaxed on the couch. This could be interesting. She was secretly excited by the fact that this was happening. Fake or not, it made her feel good. If he didn't want her for real, fake could be almost as good. She fell asleep dreaming of the possibilities.

A/N: That was unexpected. I originally didn't have the fake girlfriend angle in there, it just happened. But, hopefully that'll aid in making it more interesting. And it's a good way to get Mrs. Wilson off House's back. ) Please R&R!!