Once again, thank you to everyone who left a review, or added this to their favourites. You're all wonderful and it spurs me on. I'm sorry that I keep forgetting to post on time. I will get better at it ... by the end. ;)
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His fingers drummed against the steering wheel, tapping rhythmically to the beat that drifted quietly from the car's speakers. It was mindless, conformist dribble for the year, the same five songs on repeat as the minutes ticked into hours.
Mulder put himself and Danica on a mid-afternoon flight from Baltimore to Boston, he had made the ten hour drive to Massachusetts in the midst of sheer delirium once or twice. Mulder however, was not prepared to do it with little Danica in the back seat. Although she seemingly longed for it, the girl did not like being cooped up for too long. She loved the rushing breeze in her ears, and the feel of her feet tapping on solid ground.
The flight to Boston cut the drive dramatically. It took just under three hours to travel from the airport to the Wood's Hole ferry port. Even then Danica was scratching at the doors, the sight of water and sand pulled her eyes wide. They were early for the hourly ferry, their wait for the next one tipping close to half an hour. It would not hurt to let the little girl out of the car.
Danica flew from his arms the minute he set her down. Her feet carried her eagerly to the languidly crashing waves. She stopped just short of the sand, her Mary Janes toeing the line where sand morphed into grass. She waited for Mulder to catch up. The coastal wind rushing at her hair as she stood with her hands behind her back and her little teeth pressed into her bottom lip.
Bent at the knee he moved to slip her shoes off with the girl still standing. Silently, Danica slipped to her bottom then placed both shoed feet in his lap. Removing her shoes, and dainty socks Mulder tapped the little girl's leg. All done. Another piece to their nonverbal communication.
'Go play,' He urged with a smile, his hand gesturing towards the slim beach. Danica stood hesitantly. She watched the man, still crouched on the ground quizzically for a second before she turned towards the waves, her hips twisting as she switched between him and her wild freedom.
With one final look towards her saviour Danica dashed towards to the beach, her tiny toes digging in the sand as she ran towards the water. She stopped halfway. Not more than a few metres away from him. Her toes wiggled in the moist sand, collecting the grains against her skin, scratching gently. Delicately she held her hand out to him, her wind swept face smiling shyly as she beckoned him with her little fingers.
Quickly he rolled up the hem of his jeans, raising them hallway up his calf before he approached her steadily. Not once did he move too fast for the girl to register his movements. There were times of dire need, like in the FBI hallway, when he rushed to her. On other occasions he approached her like she was a flighty animal, waiting to pounce or runaway. Although he had been the one to take her, Mulder wanted Danica to know that everything was on her terms, as little as she may be.
He took her hand on the beach, letting her wrap small fingers around two of his larger ones as she led him cautiously towards the water's edge. She shrieked when she stepped too close, the tide sliding in to caress her toes unexpectedly. She danced with the current, watching it wade in and out as she chased it back and forth.
Danica squeaked at the feel of cold water rushing over her skin. She didn't move, she held tight to Mulder's hand letting the ocean glide in and out, introducing itself to her gently albeit harshly with the sheer chill of its waters. Mulder watched her, as he always did, something he was seeing as almost soothing as the world past them by.
He saw her as a fragile girl, breaking, cracks appearing in in her porcelain flesh, ready to disappear from this world without a sound, in that he saw a chance. He could rescue her, he could save her. He could not stop his sister from slipping out of his grasp but he could save Danica. He could prove to himself and watching eyes that it was not his fault, that Samantha's disappearance could not be place on his shoulders. He would save Danica, repair her, he would love her, he would raise her and she would not end up like his sister. Instead she would start to mend that void
As they stood on the beach, small waves lapping at their toes, Danica watched the wide world with open eyes. He realised that he was already helping. That the cracks were repairing themselves slowly, sutures closing up, not only on the little girl but on his own fractured past. His recovery would be slower, but the steps were happening, he was going to see his mother.
He almost had to drag her away when the ferry approached, Danica surrendered herself, allowing her saviour to carry her as he pointed to the approaching boat. She giggled, her eyes darting between his face and the ferry as Mulder spoke to her softly, his words lost but not unappreciated.
She insisted, in her silent way, hands pointing and pulling, once they had climbed back into the car and boarded the transport that they should watch from outside the car on the observation deck. Mulder took her gladly, walking up and down the boat, wind lapping at their hair harsher now than what it had been on the beach. Danica giggled, her hands pushing away at her hair clumsily as he held her around the waist, watching the water glide underneath him as Martha's Vineyard drew closer.
There was a set of children on board, a boy and girl accompanying their parents chatting about some trip they had taken and how excited they were to be returning to the vineyard. Mulder only listened partially, their chatter reminding him of his childhood, he and Samantha blabbering on the exact same ferry as they returned for the summer, eager for the long days and warm nights ahead of them.
Danica watched the children curiously, her hands giving up on saving her hair she rested her head on his shoulder as she watched, eyes drooping with exhaustion. She was dead to the world by the time he pulled into his mother's driveway.
Tires crunched across gravel as he slowly rolled up the driveway, eyes watching in the rear view mirror for movement in the sleeping child.
His mother was on the front porch, arms crossed over her chest as she stood at the top of the small set of stairs, awaiting him. He had called her earlier that morning, checking she was home and available for a few days before he packed Danica in the car and set her up for disappointment.
He left Danica sleeping in the backseat, his feet replaced the tires crunching on the gravel as he got out and approached his mother. 'Oh, Fox. It's been too long.' Teena met him halfway with a warm smile, her arms open wide. Mulder stopped in his tracks, suspicious and all around confused by his mother's behaviour. Teena Mulder was not a woman full of warm smiles and hugs, she had been once, a very long time ago, but those days were mostly flickers in Mulder's memory. She pulled him into a hug, ignoring her son's stiff back bone as she peeked over his shoulder, intrigued by whomever it was that he was bringing with him. 'Fox,' She started again, his ears ringing at the sound of his name coming so frequently from her lips. 'There is a little girl sleeping in the backseat of your car.'
'Uh, yeah.' Mulder scratched at his head, he had practiced what to tell her, a harrowing story or some other, something believable enough that she would take it. It had all left him. Every sentence bar one; 'That's, uh, actually who I wanted you to meet. She's my daughter'.
'What?' The woman pulled back, staring at her son, her mouth agape in horror.
'Her name is Danica.' He offered quietly, head lowered, feeling very much like the little boy who would be scolded by his mother. 'I, ah, I would have told you sooner, Mom, I swear. But, it's kind of new to me too.' Teena's face withdrew from horror to confusion, and then suddenly, understanding. Someone had kept his baby from him, as people had done to her. The difference being she had signed her daughter over, her son had no choice in knowing that there was a child on the planet with half his blood.
Teena did as she did with everything, avoided the major discussions and Mulder, for once, was thankful. 'Well, can I say 'hello',' Her question was meek. She acknowledged that Fox was now in charge of their relationship. He could very well introduce her to her granddaughter and then take the child away.
Mulder nodded easily, tossing his head over his shoulder to check the back window of the car. Danica was still asleep. He didn't want to wake her but knew her sleeping at this time of the day meant she would not sleep later in the evening.
'I have to prepare you of a few things first, before I wake her up.' Mulder took a step back towards the car as he awaited his mother's cautionary nod. 'Her grasp of linguistic understanding is not up to par with what it should be. Don't push her to speak to you or to understand what you're saying. She's a smart kid, she'll communicate what she wants. No loud noises, or sudden movements either. She doesn't like people coming up behind her, you need to be in front of her before you touch her or speak. She needs to see you.'
'My god, Fox, you make it sound as though the girl has been traumatised.' He didn't answer, only turned towards the car and pulled the door open. He knew she would wake if she heard him moving about, Danica was surprisingly alert when it came to her surroundings. He busied himself with sorting out her backpack, leaving Schatz in her lap as he zipped the bag and hooked it over his shoulder. She was rousing by the time he moved for the buckles on her seat, little hands over her eyes as she mewled with a soft yawn.
Mulder hummed to her, noncommittal sounds that vibrated in his ears like a slow Elvis Presley song. He moved around her gently, pulling her arms out of the harness as he transferred them to his neck and hoisted her out of the car. Danica kept her eyes closed and remained reverently calm. He was surprised a tantrum didn't follow her drowsy eyes, a scream did not pierce her throat nor did tears wet her cheeks. He half expected an explosion when she realised their day of travelling led them elsewhere than home.
Teena kept her distance as she watched her son, hand under her chin, accommodating to the child. She had known her boy to be the nurturing kind. Once, long ago, when Samantha was only a small baby. He had doted on his sister throughout her life, picking on her when necessary, but caring beyond belief. She had tuned him out when her daughter was taken, lost sight of her son completely as depression evoked disinterest. It was easy to keep that up over the years. As she had changed in Samantha's absence, she almost expected Fox to do the same. He had not. Buried the tender care maybe, but it had not disappeared with his sister. It remained to resurface for this girl.
He was facing her before she was ready, Danica's eyes open as she took in the space around her, inhaled the sweet summertime air. The Vineyard always smelt the same to Mulder, as though summer never really stopped, it's memories always entrapped on the island just for he and Samantha to share.
She stepped forward, cautious, careful, as her son watched her closely. Danica was turned into his chest, but she was watching her surroundings just past his face. There was no need to turn her, as she sat on his hip, to see his mother, she would see her in turn. They waited for Danica's eyes to fall on the woman, the child jumping slightly at the sight of the woman she had not expected to find standing there. Teena smiled. Danica shied away in Mulder's shoulder, her head under his neck as she peered at the woman shyly.
'Hello, little one,' Teena held her hand out, reaching to touch Danica's dainty little fingers. The older woman brushed her thumb over the girl's hand where it rested over her father's heartbeat, Schatz hanging from her fingertips. She didn't flinch or pull away, but she wasn't relaxed as Teena touched her. 'Oh Fox,' she sighed eyes glossing over as she watched the child, soaked in her presence.
Danica shivered in the cold air, dropping her head to Mulder's shoulder she shook. Teena hurried them inside at the sight of her granddaughters shivering. The house was warm despite the chill outside. The TV hummed from the living room while the rest of the house sat silently, awaiting the children that used to play within it's walls. Mulder swore, if he closed his eyes and concentrated he would see Samantha run past him, or peep down from the stairs. He could hear her in that house, snippets of her laughter, and her calling out his name. Something inside of him ached, as it always did, the disappointment in himself that he still hadn't found her.
Teena led them to the kitchen, where she started pulling things out of the cupboards. 'I am so unprepared for grandchildren,' She huffed, muttering to herself as she set out cutting vegetables and finding her best casserole dish. 'Really, Fox, you should have warned me, I could have called for something. I don't have anything here appropriate for a child, dolls or clothes, sweets even. Honestly, son.' Mulder gave his mother a lopsided smile, sheepish and completely happy. He didn't know what he expected from his trip out to his mother, possibly to be sent away. A small part of him hoped that she would react in this way, the cheerful, homely mom that he knew years ago. He didn't dare let himself dream of this possibility.
'It's all right, I have things in her bag.' He sat Danica in a bench stool at the kitchen island his mother was fluttering around. He pulled out a colouring book, already used, and a pack of crayons. Danica was busy in seconds, occasionally looking up from her pages to watch Teena, or listen to the woman's voice when she tapped the pages of her colouring books.
'Oh Fox,' His mother sighed, again. It was all she managed to get out every couple of minutes as she looked at her son or new found granddaughter with dreamy eyes. 'I can't believe this. She's really yours?'
'She really is,' He lied.
Danica was watching them both in that moment, blue crayon in her hand, still pressed to the page. 'She's beautiful, Fox. She looks like you, or maybe it's the personality. You used to be a shy thing. You would hide everywhere, speak to no one unless it was on your terms. I can see that in her.' Danica smiled softly as Teena offered her a small plate of sliced carrots.
'I was shy?' Mulder asked, not convinced.
Teena hummed, nodding her head. She broke off into a story, telling him about a time they had gone to the park and had decided there were too many kids there, so he sat on the bench, his mothers arm wrapped around him and watched the other kids instead of playing.
'I don't remember that,' he laughed, amused.
'You wouldn't, you were only about Danica's age. It all changed once Samantha came along, and was big enough to walk around on her own. After that you got brave, just so you could follow her around.' It was the first time, since he could remember, that his mother did not hesitate on Samantha's name, nor did her tone shift in emotion. She carried on, reminiscing about her only son and his youth.
Danica, as the adults spoke around her, grasped a small handful of the carrots she was offered and shimmied herself off the bar stool. Noticing she was trying to climb down, Mulder helped the girl onto the floor, only breaking concentration from his mother for a second as he handed Schatz to the girl.
She only wandered from the kitchen to the hallway and back again, testing the boundary each time as her comfort zone expanded. When his mother stopped talking to focus on the meal she was preparing, Mulder excused himself, itching to check on Scully and the case he had assigned her in Philadelphia. He had called before they boarded the ferry but Scully left it unanswered and was yet to return his call.
'Hello?' She answered on the second ring, her voice drifting down the line.
'Scully.'
'Mulder. What's wrong?' He could almost hear the worry in her voice, and the slightest hint of irritation. She could sort this case out on her own, and yet he had an incessant need to check in with her and make sure she was doing as he asked.
'Nothing's wrong. I'm just at my mom's. She's taking to Danica really well, honestly, this is better than I expected.'
'How did you know where I was?' No nonsense, he smiled. He knew she stuck around this long for a reason, mostly because she could deal with his crap. Maybe he was laying it on a little too heavy at the moment. With Danica around he wasn't too sure how he was treating Scully.
He was guilty in his response, 'I-I checked where we always stay in Philadelphia. I knew you wouldn't abandon me. How's the case going?' Panic rose in his gut, she had handed it over to the Philadelphia bureau. He trusted Scully to run around and keep herself out of trouble on the cases he had allocated for her and she handed it over. What was she doing.
'Mulder, there is no X-File. Your contact is connected to the Vorofski Mir, extortion, credit fraud, cons, he is nothing but a swindler.' He certainly wouldn't be so easy to discredit and X-File. Mulder almost wanted to yell, he was half way to running out the door and heading to Philadelphia himself. Scully was angry at his dismissing of her dismissal, she did as he asked, she ran the background check, nothing spooky, and now she wanted to move along.
He wanted to get out there himself. Mulder wasn't too sure how comfortable Danica or his mother would feel alone in each other's company, but his gears were in overcharge he had to get out there, to stop Scully from making a mistake. But, it wasn't a mistake, she was right, he just couldn't let it go.
'Look Mulder, I have to go.'
He sneered into the phone, impatient, annoyed. 'What, have you got a date, or something?' Her answer was silence, freezing him to the core. 'Y - you're kidding.'
Her voice was stern, final, 'I have everything under control. Enjoy Danica. I will talk to you later.' She hung up before he could get the final word, leaving Mulder to stare at his phone half confused. What the hell was happening between them.
Danica had followed him around the corner, and into the living room. Her little eyes scanned the space, teeth crunching the carrots in her hand as she inspected the trinkets Teena Mulder left lying about. His conversation with Scully left Mulder frustrated and annoyed, his teeth were grinding together as his jaw tensed. Danica sparred a look in his direction, the same worried wide eyes she held for everything else grounded him somewhat. She would know that he was tense, and for the little girl it was an energy they did not need in her space.
Teena served them both with a hearty home cooked meal, eaten at the dinner table. A meal from a side of his mother Mulder thought he had lost, almost cleansed his soul; in the least rid him of his Scully anguish. Danica sacrificed half of her already small, child, serving to the floor gods.
'Maybe I should get a dog, might be a handy little thing to have with a granddaughter leaving food in her wake.' Teena laughed, after Mulder offered to clean the mess on behalf of the child who couldn't quite help herself.
'She'll eat even less then, if she knows there is something on the floor to eat it for her.' Mulder chuckled, thanking his mother for having wooden floors and not carpet.
Bathed after dinner, and put into fresh pyjamas, Danica curled in a ball on the couch beside Mulder, happy watching the video Teena had provided. While their dinner was cooking she had popped over to the Jackobson's old residence of Martha's Vineyard that happened to have four grandchildren, the youngest not even Danica's age. They had a great resource of children's entertainment and happily leant Teena 'Lady and the Tramp'.
The girl was out for the count, half way through the movie. One of her arms had itself wound around Mulder's, while the other clutched Schatz to her chest. He lifted her easily, up off the couch and carried the girl to the room his mother prepared. Danica didn't flinch, she barely even whimpered against his shoulder as he moved her through the house and then finally laid her down.
Leaving her to sleep Mulder returned cautiously to the living room of his mother's home. 'I'm so glad you brought her, Fox, thank you.' His mother hummed, looking up as he reentered the room. Mulder smiled, shrugging as he sat down. He wanted to admit that Danica had already filled a small part of the emptiness Samantha had left behind. He couldn't admit that to his mother, not yet.
'I just - is her mother still in the picture?' Teena asked, worry dripping into her words. 'No one's going to take her from you, are they?' Mulder shook his head, reassuring his mother that his daughter was safe in his hands no one would remove her from his care - not without a fight.
'She's mine, I'm not letting her go.' He reiterated trying to convince his mother that Danica was safe so long as he was there.
'I would like to be there for her, as a grandmother should be.' Mulder nodded, watching the sincerity cross his mother's face. He couldn't recall the last time he had seen that look, the longing in her eyes to do something right. 'You can call me, if ever you need.' He nodded again, slowly, somewhat scared as she leant forward and placed her hand atop his. This wasn't the Teena he remembered from his teen years, she was a faint memory of a woman he had known when his sister was with them, so long dead that he was scared to recognise the support a mother was supposed to give.
'I think she'll like having you around,' He would like it too, no matter how strange it felt, something tightened in his chest at the possibility of having his mother back.
