---- Chapter 20
After a few minutes, she decided to fight the stupid smile.
The damn thing was all Clark's fault. Somehow, it had to be his fault. He'd changed the dynamic, made her move away from her comfort zone and find a different zone that was far less comfortable but included him. He always had to be involved in things, but why couldn't he have let her be? Why couldn't his good nature and good looks have left her alone so she could have gotten a better grip on being in a new year with a daughter? Most of all, why couldn't she stop feeling all warm and fuzzy about him?
Lois spent the rest of her afternoon sitting and staring at walls, trying to come to grips with these stupid, unnecessary feelings she didn't want. Why would she want them? He's Clark! Plaid, mopey, annoying, and just general blah qualities. No need for any of them.
But he hadn't worn any plaid since she'd forgotten, he certainly hadn't moped and the most annoying thing he'd done was to be understanding and make her feel cared for. Jackass.
Groaning, Lois got up off the couch, music once again blaring from the television so she could think in peace. She meandered over to the kitchen and pulled out Clark's pizza box, having finished hers in the numerous hours of mumbling and trying to figure out what the hell was going on in her head. The thing was being more secretive than usual. This must be what happens when one doesn't say everything out loud. It sends you into a mental tailspin and you start falling in love with men that are good for you.
She smacked herself in the head, eyes squeezed shut. She hadn't just thought that. It had been four days, so she couldn't possibly be falling in love with him. Yeah, he was everything she could hope for and more, and he was a great father to Jordan... but no! No love. Not allowed. When she thought Smallville, she did not think love, she thought love.
Son of a bitch!
Pregnancy brain! That had to be it. In the limited time she'd spent with pregnant women, she'd heard about pregnancy brain. Not always thinking straight, forgetfulness and all that jazz. Plus, all the hormones were probably making her feel good and bringing on all the warm fuzzy nonsense. That would explain it all. Yes, she could pass all this off as pregnancy brain with a side of hormone induced warm fuzziness that would go away once AJ was born.
She wondered what AJ would be like. While the initials would probably stick with him or her for life, what would he or she be? If the baby was a little boy, would he look like his father and have her naughty streak, just as Jordan seemed to? Or would he be just like Clark in demeanor, shy at first but one of the kindest people in the world? Or could the baby be a girl that was like Clark?
Lois hit her head against a counter a few times, finishing the cold pizza as she did so. Where the hell had all that come from? That HAD to be pregnancy brain in all its glory, although instead of warm fuzziness for Clark it was for AJ. Though, since AJ was the cause, it seemed to make sense that she was warm and fuzzy about him or her.
Most women seemed to love their unborn children, and she felt no different. She definitely had some issues on how this whole pregnancy thing was making her think, but was quite sure all she knew about AJ was that she loved him or her. It wasn't something turning on in her head like with Jordan, just a quiet revelation she'd come to have.
Looking at the clock on the fridge, which was becoming less strange every time she saw it, she noted that Clark and Jordan would probably be home in an hour or so. Considering they have a daughter, she doubted that he'd be pulling the late nights like she once had almost every night. Not only that, but she doubted that she'd be pulling the late nights anymore.
How had having Jordan changed everything? Did she have to be on time for everything now? Was she always being mindful of setting a good example? She couldn't go overboard on stories, working into the wee hours of the night like she used to, but was she still a risk taker? Could she let herself put everything on the line for a story like she once had or was she a more conventional reporter now? She shuddered as the word conventional ran through her mind.
So many questions, so many answers she couldn't provide for herself. Why couldn't something, anything, come back to her? Even if it's just the number of her bank account, at least she'd know something. She wasn't greedy. Well, that was a lie. She wanted every memory back she'd ever lost. Then maybe she could be who she was supposed to be.
No, she wasn't going to start with that again. She was adapting, that was all she could do. No use brooding about it.
Lois decided she needed something more pleasant to think about. She could think about Jordan, but that would just leave her wondering what she didn't remember. There was always Clark, but that would just lead back to where she'd already been and if she kept on that she might just have to hit herself for being too annoying. AJ seemed like a safe topic to think about, but that also probably led back to Clark.
Chloe and Bruce. There was a safe topic. Short, spunky reporter married to tall, dark and handsome man that brooded. Three kids with another on the way. What were their names... Jack, Aly and Liz. She wondered what those children were like. Did they look like Chloe but stay all quiet and thoughtful like Bruce? Or did they look like Bruce while inheriting their mother's sense of curiosity? Anything involving her cousin's inquisitiveness would be dangerous, given Bruce's secret.
She thought about that a little longer, but finally decided she needed something better to occupy herself. All the thinking hadn't killed nearly enough time, and she was really wanting to see Jordan. Maybe she could hide in the hugs her baby girl liked to give.
Shaking her head at the thought, Lois walked back over to where she'd left the diary and picked it up, deciding that reading another entry might keep her distracted.
9/25/17
Month three: check. Maybe I can actually keep up with this, who knows.
Twenty three days until I become Mrs. Smallville. Unbelievable how things happen, isn't it? Since I'm writing this to a version of myself that probably does not remember any of the time leading up to the wedding, marrying Clark probably does sound unbelievable. I talked about this last time, though, so how about something new.
Right now, the big story at the Daily Planet is the upcoming summit on the world economy being held in Metropolis. How they decided to hold it in Metropolis, I'll never know. When they started it a few years back, as research has told me, they decided that it would be held in the capitol of a nation. We both know Metropolis certainly isn't that.
A clue, however, is the fact the Lex has been announced as the key note speaker for the event. Clark and I are on the story, but so far haven't been able to uncover anything shady. It's typical Luthor style: have something that is supposed to help the world change its policies to benefit you. If the world tried to end, Lex would either be at the center of it happening or demanding it stop because it was hurting business.
In lighter news, Chlo and Bruce have surprised us with an early wedding present: the Justice League is going to cover Metropolis for Superman so we can have a honeymoon, which we'd both thought wasn't happening. Not only that, but Bruce owns a villa in Spain and is giving it to us for the duration of our time we're there. The staff will be on hand, and we will be free to enjoy ourselves and use 'Clarkie Airlines' to go anywhere in Europe a little more quickly than we otherwise could.
I know I told you Chloe is pregnant with twins in the last entry, and I just have to say that she is getting huge quickly. I don't remember her pregnancy with Jack, of course, but she says this one is only tougher because of the size. She claims everything else wasn't or isn't nearly as bad. Despite that, I'm almost tempted to have her sit beside me during the wedding instead of standing so her back doesn't make her suffer. It's been giving her fits because she's a regular sized woman with a very big load to carry.
Considering she's under three months from her due date and looks as big as the Wayne Manor, I'm a little scared to find out if there's a history of twins way back in our family that would make me prone to also having twins. I can't think of anybody recently that's had twins in the side of the family we're related on, though, besides Chloe. I can only imagine what waking up without my memory while pregnant would be like. To come awake one morning with a pregnancy induced belly I don't remember gaining... I hope it's something that never happens.
On the topic of Superman, he and I both had a close call a few days ago. I was taken hostage by a wannabe terrorist group bent on ridding the world of journalists not supporting their cause. After being held for a day, Superman came to rescue me but somehow they'd acquired kryptonite. We escaped, obviously, but Clark was in rough shape. They beat the hell out of him once they found the kryptonite worked as well as advertised. Next time you see Bruce, thank him for that save, as well as the Green Arrow and Flash.
Once again, we come to the time where I try to be helpful. I know it's difficult to trust the words of a woman that no longer exists, in that you probably don't remember any of what I'm writing down right now, but trust me when I say that the bracelet is a good thing.
I tried to keep the bracelet and this journal together, because of what the bracelet does, which If you have not experienced it yet, I will explain.
The bracelet is Kryptonian, as Clark has told you if he's seen you with it. The first time you wear it, though, you will see Clark's biological mother Lara. How it works, I do not know, because it's been passed down by the Kawatche for generations and had no way of being in contact with her on Krypton.
Fact of the matter is, though, the first time I wore it, she appeared before me and told me... well, I guess you either know it already or will soon. It will happen, because I apparently confided in Chloe about what happened the first time I tried it on, and she said it was the exact same thing that happened this time. Our best guess is that it can sense the memory loss.
After that experience, the best way to describe it is a conduit. It let's you feel some of what Clark's feeling. It feeds his emotions to you, more or less. The first time this happens can be a little overwhelming, so if you've done it without reading this, I hope you didn't do anything embarrassing.
Think of it like this: I'm sure you remember Chloe hacking into databases and the such when we investigated stories. She'd make the connection to the other computer, main frame, whatever, and syphon off the information we need.
Putting the bracelet on is like making a connection to Clark's mind, but not having any say in what syphons off. It's why I don't wear it all the time, like I want to. Were I to do so, it would be like having a constant stream of Clark going into my head, which would be pleasant but strange. Having to distinguish between feelings can be tricky when he's particularly emotional, and I've yet to find a way to bury what I get from him enough to not let it effect me.
The upside to this, of course, is that you have a way to know he's safe. I've never had the bracelet on and not felt something from him. Whenever he's in a fight for his life., I hold on to the thing because it tells me he's alive, even when things look bleak. I don't know what I'd do if I ever felt nothing from it.
Clark's biological mother? What? But how...
She'd have to think on it later. She took the journal and went into the bedroom, picking up the bracelet from where she'd left it and eyeing it a moment before deciding she'd find another time to try it. She went over and kicked the dresser a couple times, opening up the secret drawer and placed the journal and bracelet in it before pushing it shut.
No sooner had she done that than the front door opened, ushering in a loud Jordan and Clark, who were both singing Old Macdonald like it was going out of style. She leaned against the doorframe and smiled as she watched the two, Jordan on his shoulders, gesture wildly as they sang. When they finished, Clark put Jordan down on the ground and each turned and bowed to her. She rewarded them with a few claps.
"Well, if it isn't a couple of the von Trapp's, come to regale me with songs. You two make quite the pair."
"We sound good, right mommy?"
"You sound great, baby girl." Lois walked over to Jordan and pulled her up into a hug, which was reciprocated very quickly. "Did you have a good day with your grandma?"
She felt her nod into her shoulder. "We did lot of stuff. I got to run around with Krypto, and feed the horses, and even jump in some hay! It was fun!"
Lois set her back down and was promptly told the bathroom needed a visit. Jordan left and she looked at Clark, who was in the kitchen looking at remnants of his pizza. "Krypto?"
"He's the dog we got when Shelby went to the big doggie playground in the sky in 2016. Since you'd said I got to name the next one Krypto when you found Shelby, I did just that. And believe it or not, he loves you more than Shelby did." He turned and looked at her. "Now, quick question: if we'd been another ten minutes getting home, would I have any pizza left?"
She could tell he was joking by the grin he wore. She smirked at him. "Who knows? Anything you don't eat is fair game, especially since I am carrying our child. Think of it as your sacrifice since I gain all the wait and have all the discomfort."
He laughed, shaking his head at her logic. "If that's what it takes to keep my pregnant wife happy, then I guess I'll just have to live with it. Did you do anything besides eat since lunch?"
"Believe it or not, I did daydream a little bit about what AJ is going to be like."
"Picturing your looks and my personality on a little boy?"
"That was one of the combinations, yes. Whatever he or she is, I must say that I find myself quite in love with him or her. All warm and fuzzy, much unlike anything I do actually remember."
"I'm glad. I would find it very unfortunate if you couldn't fit AJ into your heart. So, what do we want for dinner?"
Lois thought for a second before something scrumptious popped into her head. "A greasy cheeseburger and some fries sounds great. There a dive around here that we can all go to?"
She watched Clark think for a minute, impatient for him to say something. He finally broke his silence. "There are a few places we could go, though only one of them is really somewhere I'd be comfortable taking Jordan. It doesn't look like your traditional greasy burger joint, but I think it'll do the trick."
An hour later, they were all sitting in a well lit, clean place that Clark insisted was just what Lois was looking for. "You obviously have a new definition of 'dive' these days, Smallville. In fact, this place is everything a dive should not be. If the burgers are anything less than greasy, I will not be held accountable for my actions."
When the waitress came around, Lois ordered a small meal for Jordan and enough food to feed herself and a large man before letting Clark order anything. He only got enough to feed a large man, which made sense to her but was going to make it more difficult if she wanted to steal anything from him. Her appetite the way it was, it seemed inevitable.
She wanted to be surprised with herself that she was ok with eating as much as she was, but she knew that was silly. She didn't want to be one of those women that gained sixty pounds while pregnant, but she also wasn't going to deny herself the experience of eating whatever she wanted to whenever she wanted to. She figured she'd eventually have to cut back on how much she was eating, or at least on the snacking every twenty minutes. Maybe Chloe would have a good tip on how to control herself.
Making small talk over dinner, the meal passed quickly enough and before she knew it, they were headed back to the apartment. Apparently time passed more quickly when she was listening to Jordan and Clark while stuffing herself full of food that was just as greasy as promised. That, or she just needed to pay better attention. Once she got back to the Planet, she was going to have to keep an eye out for details again.
Back home, Lois had changed back into the sweats she'd spent most of the day in. She'd spent a couple hours coloring and laughing with Jordan in the little girl's room before she'd started tiring out. She and Clark had put her to bed and were currently sitting quietly in the living room, and while reading the paper was enjoyable, she was bored.
"Let's do something, Smallville."
She looked over at him as he pushed his glasses back up on his nose and looked away from his laptop. "What sounds like fun, Lo? Movie?"
"A movie would be good. Not exactly doing something, but it'll get the job done. What do we have around here?"
"All your favorites from before the attack, as well as everything you liked enough since then to buy. They're all in the drawers in the coffee table, so take a look and find something you'd enjoy."
Lois did just that, rifling through movies she did and did not recognize. She finally settled on Ray, which seemed like something both she and Clark could enjoy. She handed the case to him, not knowing what went where anymore. He quickly worked the system, which appeared to be something like a flash drive that plugged into the television. She didn't think she'd have found how to work that out if she'd tried.
She settled in on the couch, getting comfortable when Clark sat down next to her. He looked ready to scoot up close to her. She rolled her eyes and beat him to the punch, moving in close to him. He put and arm around her shoulders and she leaned her head against him. The last thing she thought about was how annoying it was that he was so comfortable, no matter where they were, before she fell asleep.
