CHAPTER IV: NEW ATTITUDE [PATTI LABELLE]

DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS ALL, NO COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT INTENDED
A/N: First, I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I've updated. Usually I would be done uploading this entire story, but the truth is school has been kicking my ass and I haven't even finished writing this story. I would say that I am about 60% done, but I'm still working on my thesis and am really stressing. But I had some time on my hands and decided to upload a chapter. This one has a sad ending for Edward, and I hope you enjoy! As always, read and review. Many Thanks.

It had been a month since we had come to Maine, and I was finally getting settled into the house. After two days of complaining I finally got James to get cable and Wi-Fi. I had been missing Game of Thrones goddammit and if I was going to be held hostage then I demanded to do so comfortably. He wasn't very keen on the idea of it, convinced that I would contact the Calvary for a rescue mission. It turned out to be a good thing for the both of us, James was now addicted to television after revealing that he never really watched it before, and his mind still couldn't handle the wonders of Google.

Fucking freak.

I hadn't exactly been given driving privileges, but the land the house was on was so vast that I had complete freedom to run. Under the supervision of James that is, James who had been giving me major side eye since I mentioned the only way I knew of "fixing" a vampire. James who was running next to me right now, looking as if he might snap at anything that had a pulse and crossed his path.

I stopped running, "When was the last time you hunted?"

"I'm fine"

"You don't look it."

He smiled, "You worried about me?"

"I'm worried that you might eat me in my sleep."

His eyes were that of a predator. "Oh, I'll eat you alright," he said licking his lips and scanning my body.

"James," I scolded him.

"I don't think I can do this."

"You are already complaining and you haven't even tried it."

"I will become weak." He countered. "I cannot protect you if I am weak."

"The only thing I needed protection from was you."

He flinched.

"Too soon?" I asked and he responded with a nod. "Sorry."

"I deserve it." He responded pursing his lips. "This… will make you happy."

"Immensely."

He sighed heavily, "For you I will try."

I smiled at him.

"For you I would fight a thousand suns." He said smirking.

My smile dropped.

"Too much?" he asked.

"And too soon." I joked back.

"Whatever," he said shrugging his shoulders. He walked away whistling, and then began singing, "Ooo Ooo Oooo, I gotta new attitude."

I was slowly becoming convinced that he lived another life where he moonlighted as a karaoke singer.

"You are such a fucking freak."

He laughed before running off into the forest, the sound of his laughter and the rustling leaves in his wake were the only proof that he had been standing next to me seconds before.

I followed his footsteps that lead to a small herd of deer. Crouching low beneath a broken tree I watched as he slowly crept towards them with silent grace. His face held an expression I had never seen him have before. I thought he looked like a predator in all of the steadily rising creepy moments I had with him, but those faces were nothing compared to this one. His eyes were black as night, his face contorted to that of a monster.

I shivered because this was the face of a true predator, of a monster, which meant that all of the other faces James was pulling were because he was a pervert.

I froze.

Jesus H. Christ, does he really like me?
That is not the time or place for that Leah.

But he totally likes me.

I found myself smiling.

I am a fucking freak.

A cry caught my attention and I refocused on James to see that he had already taken down two of the five deer that were in the woods. He drank quickly, greedily from them. His eyes rolling to the back of his head, as he gulped down the life essence of another to sustain him. The deer's eyes went from wide to glassy, its body barely twitching until it was limp in James' arms. He stood, throwing the dead animal to the side. His eyes flickered to mine as he licked his blood stained lips. A grin passed his face before he took off further into the forest, chasing the remaining deer.

After he finished off the herd, he sunk to the ground, lying in the grass with one hand caressing his slightly distended belly.

"I am half the man that I was," He complained. "I am no longer mighty, I cannot be your lion."

I rolled my eyes from my position against a tree.

"I think you're more of a man now than you were before."

His head came off the ground with a smile on his lips that only went away for him to blow me a kiss.

Well, that perked him up.

"I still have a chance of being your lion?" His voice was pure sex, and his eyes though turning golden, still had flickers of red dancing in them.

For a couple of seconds I was lost in his haze, and then I blinked.

"No chance." I said spinning on my heel and walking away from him.

"And James…"

His head perked up, "For the love of God, lay off Game of Thrones for awhile."

His laughter followed me through the woods and back the house.


Nostalgia and guilt.

I hated them. And for some reason they plagued me as I sat in the kitchen staring at the landline. I knew that if I were to pick it up I wouldn't hear a dial tone, but it didn't stop me from starring at it.

I also knew exactly why I was feeling both of them. I missed home. My wolf longed for a proper run, one where I could feel the heat of the shift on my bones as it took over. But I couldn't do that as long as I was still connected to the pack. A half a second into it they would know exactly where I was, and Sam would command me to stay. There would only be one thing that James could do, and that was run. Run fast, hard, and as far away from this place he could get because if they caught him, balls of fur would be the last things he would ever see.

And I was guilty because somehow over the past month he had weaseled his way into my life. Even though I didn't tell him much about myself, he was my only confidant, and I knew that if I ever did spill my guts to him he would take those secrets to the grave.

Nostalgia and guilt

Fuck them

I sighed deeply, shoving the heels of my hands into my eyes. I let my attention fall to the patterns that my retinas were creating in the self-induced darkness. The slight pinch of pain from my hands digging into my eyes was comforting. I could let myself sit here in the darkness and ignore everything around me.

But I couldn't ignore the tell tale sound of a phone sliding across the granite counter top. I also couldn't ignore James' stare as he sat down on the stool next to me.

"You can use the phone anytime you want. They can't trace it."

"I don't-

"Yes, you do. Call your family…" he paused, "You can call him too if you'd like."

He was gone with that.

I peeled my face from my hands and stared at the phone for five seconds before grabbing it and dialing the familiar number of my home.

"Hello?" my father answered on the first ring and the sound of his voice, the sound of home, brought tears to my eyes.

"Hello? Is anyone there?"

I cleared my throat, "Hi, dad."

"Leah?!" he yelled. "Are you okay? Where are you?"

"Dad," I croaked.

"Leah!" There was a multitude of voices surrounding me.

"I'm okay, I promise, I'm okay."

"Where are you?" he deplored.

"I—I can't tell you."

"Is that bloodsucker there right now?!"

"I'm safe, he's not going to hurt me."

He sighed, "You can't believe anything he tells you. They are the greatest-

"Predator, I know." I took a deep breath, wiping my face. "I know what he is, but he's not going to hurt me. He just wants… company."

"Then he can take someone else."

I laughed bitterly, "Someone else wouldn't be able to handle him."

"Leah-

"I promise I'm fine." I said cutting him off. "Look, I have to go-

"No! Don't you dare hang up!"

"I love you guys, so much."

"Leah-

I hung up before he could even plead with me, crumbling onto the counter. My resolve was weakening, but I also knew that every word I told them was true. James wouldn't hurt me.

James reached for me and cradled my face in his hands, his fingertips getting lost in my hair. He leant forward and pressed his lips to my forehead.

"Go home, Leah." He whispered and let me go.

"What?"

"I said, go home."

"I… I don't understand."

"I can't keep you here against your will. That is not love, but if I truly loved you, I would let you go. So that is what I'm going to do."

"Is this a… a test? If you set it free, it'll really come back kind of thing?"

He laughed, but it was dry and forceful. "No, it's not a test, it's just the right thing to do."

"But what if-

"No, Leah. You need to go home, this place, my life… as much as I want you to be in my life, you already belong in someone else's."

"What are you talking about?"

He stared at me with blank eyes, "Edward-

"Is not my life!" I yelled. "Don't you get it? Don't you even see how many times I could've left? You leave me here, alone, when you go to town, and I could've been gone one of those times. But I didn't leave, because I have no life back there."

"I once had everything that I ever wanted, and then… and then Sam was in love with Emily, and I was alone. Then there was Edward, who was there all along, but stayed even through this curse. He stayed with me, and was the best thing… until he wasn't. But as fucked up as it was, you kidnapping me might've been the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"That place, that life, has nothing for me. This," I gestured around, "is more of a life than I ever had there. Yes, I sometimes feel like I'm a prisoner. Yes, I miss my family, but to just let them know that I'm okay, knowing I can call them whenever I want, and that maybe, just maybe I am on my way to being happy…"

James took two steps towards me. "You would stay?" he asked.

"I am staying."


I stared at the phone in my hand before dialing another familiar number. I listened to it ringing, regretting even pressing send as every second went by.

"He-

"I just wanted you to know that I'm okay."

"I'm going to find you, I promise you Leah, I'm going to find you and bring you home."

"Edward, if by some chance you do I won't be leaving with you."

"What-

"I am tired Edward. I love my family, I love La Push, hell I even love Forks. But that place doesn't love me and I can't stay there anymore. I didn't realize it, but every moment I spent there was draining the life out of me and I was becoming this shell of a person that I didn't even recognize. And then there's you… and I can't. I just can't." I sighed heavily. "I'm not coming back Edward."