Unrequited

Mordecai blinks until blurry water stains take shape, when he recognizes a ceiling fan slowly spinning overhead, he looks around, surprised to find Angel sitting upright in the next cot. Shes all smiles while a thermometer bounces in her mouth, soundlessly she waves at Mordecai. Shes a sad sight, all grayish gaunt skin hanging on feeble bones, bright blue veins showing through her almost translucent skin. Her dark hair is is dry and gray in parts, part of head is shaved exposing small wire ports that had been installed into her. However despite her pathetic figure, her eyes-almost glow a giddy kind of cerulean blue. Shes thrilled to be here, where she can touch and feel things, breath air that isn't filtered and scented. Daisy seems to be trying to keep the slight figure still in the cot, she looks terrified- mostly of what might happen should Angel fall off the cot.

Mordecai looks to the other side of him and sees two empty cots, he could have sworn she was here too. Slowly he pushes himself up, mostly with his elbows until he can sit upright without getting dizzy. He finds himself glad for the fact that the hospice now has privacy curtains- if he feels this crappy he surely must look it as well. He can hear Daisy trying to coerce Angel into being still while he attempts to rid himself of a headache by rubbing his temples. A moment later and he finds Daisy swooping down on him with a new thermometer in one hand along with a small envelope of aspirin and a paper cup of water.

Gratefully he knocks back the pills and water although he attempts to swat away Daisys thermometer only for her to pinch his jaw and force him to take the damn thing.

" keep it under your tongue or I'll take your temp the other way dammit."

He arcs a brow at her but doesn't know her well enough to risk finding out if she meant that, so he just watches her walk past the privacy curtains.

" that blue haired lady, she's your wife?"

Mordecai turns to the source of the small dry voice, Angel who reaches to a small stand between their beds for a lukewarm glass of water. He rolls his tongue around on the smooth plastic thermometer while he debates an answer. Instead he just nods at her.

" is she nice?"

Angel drums her fingertips on the half empty glass while she looks around the room, anywhere but at his face. Mordecai debates for a moment on if he should answer her...why is she here? Why did Maya grab her? What are they going to do with her? He gives her a small nod as her eyes pass over him to watch the teal curtain sway in a slight breeze.

"oh, so..."

He watches her gaze fall to her hands, that grip the glass a bit tighter. Her grip loosens after a moment, here eyes suddenly looking a bit dull.

" is... is she ma at me? I mean... are you... are you mad at me. You have every right to be mad."

This time Mordecai looks at her with a pang of guilt leaving his stomach cold.

" She's mad at me not you."

Crap. Crap crap crap- what did Maya do what did she say what happened where is Maya anyway?

" did you see her?"

Angel looks over to Mordecai, who seems to be glaring at his lap.

" she was in that bed next to her sister."

" she doesn't have a sister- that was her brother."

Angel jerks her head back in disbelief, jostling the glass in her hands. She tilts her head sideways at Mordecai as she asks.

" are you sure?"

" yea. She's beautiful and he's her twin brother so of course he's...pretty."

She looks over to him, surprised by the sound of aching that rings in his suddenly hollow sounding voice. His gaze has softened, his hands opening and closing around the sheet.

" why is she mad at you?"

He swallows thickly then shakes his head no.

" you saw it didn't you? Why are you asking me these things?"

Angel looks up at the slowly turning ceiling fan for a moment.

" that was while I was attached to the satellites main computer, I only remember bits and pieces of what I saw. All my 'vast knowledge' was dropped when I was separated from the console."

"sorry about that"

She blinks at him curiously, not really sure she heard correctly.

"what?"

" sorry"

"sorry for what? For taking me away from that monster- don't be. If I wasn't locked in place I would have run away years ago. I'm happy you guys took me so you know what- thank you."

Her grin is lopsided and slightly smug, as if she's won something.

"so what did you do?"

"hmm?"

" how did you make your wife so mad?"

Mordecai exhales loudly, why should he answer her? On that same note why shouldn't he answer her? He has an answer bubbling around in the forefront of his mind, who else would listen to it? The rest of them where there... they probably think he's an asshole for it.

" she wanted to go with us on this last mission... I told her no. I only said no because, shes from a church- she was a nun. So she didn't have much real combat experience... I didn't want her to get hurt or killed or...taken. Maya's... she's stubborn and she wanted to go with us- I just reacted... I put my hands on her."

This last part Angel can almost feel the weight of his shame in those words, she can see it in his averted gaze.

" she has every right to be mad, I don't even know to apologize for that."

As she thinks about what shes seen and what he's saying, the pieces aren't quite clicking in her mind.

" are you sure that's why she's mad?"

Mordecai turns to look at her almost insulted.

" what? Why, did she say something?"

Angel shakes her head as she responds.

"no- well, not really. When she got out of her bed, she went up to you... like she was worried and then she just made this face and walked out with her sis- brother. It's just, I mean after all that"

She waves in a general upward direction.

" she's obviously not weak- so she can take a hit- not that she should. I'm just- well- I – what happened before all that? I think maybe she's mad about something else- no point in apologizing when you don't know what you're apologizing for, right?"

Mordecai looks at her with an expression of mild amusement.

" but we where fine before that-"

"are you sure?"

At the fast travel station Maya looks at her brothers more than cross expression.

" I swear! If he touches you like that again I will snap that scrawny bastard over my knee!"

Maya rolls her eyes at her over dramatic mirror, she swats a loose strand of hair out of her face with an exasperated sigh.

" it's fine."

" what? That is NOT fine-"

" don't worry too much- I'll deal ."

" I don't have enough time to explain to you how incredibly not fine this is, don't let this happen again. Alright?"

He looks at her worriedly, she gives him a wry smile before slapping his shoulder.

" go home already you brat."

For a moment they lean close, pressing their foreheads together, a small spark darting from one conscious mind to the others. A special farewell, all the I'll miss you's , take care's, I love you's and see you laters said in a fraction of a second and without a word. She watches him dissolve from sight, watches him head home. Home, she sighs wistfully. For a moment she realizes she misses that place, full of polished stone fake grass and endless books. Is it still home? no... no not anymore. Home is now a place easily mistaken for a cliff side. Maya turns around wondering quite what to do with herself, she could go back to the infirmary and check on her wondrous husband...or she could not do that. That sounds nice, Maya smirks to no one as she strolls up to the fast travel station and taps Fyrestone.

As she walks in her front door she looks around and realizes, she's by herself. There's no one here but her, she can do whatever she wants. Although to be fair, it's not like Mordecai had ever set any rules down telling she couldn't do things. Crap. There he is, floating around in her skull. Like a bastard. Ugh. She huffs as she presses the door shut and wanders upstairs, for a moment she doesn't recognize the place, all the little seedlings on the far wall have grown a bit and sprouted little blossoms. Off on the other side of the room, her fish is swimming a bit sluggishly in tinted water. She wrinkles her nose at the smell before she decides...she ought to clean that bowl. Poor fish... which has grown skinny little legs. What the hell kind of fish is this?

Maya hums as she pours heads outside with two buckets, the is distantly familiar although she can't for the life of her recall where she may have heard it. At the well she places one of the buckets beneath the faucet and grabs the wells handle, pulling it up and pushing it down. With every pump a small burst of water splurts until she finds a steady pace and gets the water flowing. Finally with both buckets full she finds herself still humming as she heads back indoors, her steps are smooth and calculated so as to not spill a drop. How odd, she never thought she would use this part of her training, especially not for pet care.

Upstairs Maya finds herself looking around for something to scoop out her little friend with, no such luck. She wind up dipping her hand into the grubby water and scooping him out that way, she pours him into one of the buckets, followed by his water lily. As she watches him swim in tight circles it occurs to her, he's bigger. He appears quite cramped in the bucket... which is a slight bit larger than his bowl. Hmmm.

" Should get you a bigger bowl."

After a significant amount of searching around the pile of garbage that still litter what used to be a bandit stronghold behind Fyrestone, she manages to find a large glass case. She tilts it onto one side, then the other as she searches it for cracks, its smudged and kind of smelly but other wise in tact. Maya tilts it onto one corner and stares at its seams. Will it hold water?

Mordecai find himself standing in front of his house... his home, nervous about walking in. the attending guard on sight had said he saw he walking around the area, so she's here. Inside. When he walks in he looks around and see's nothing out of place, are they sure shes here? Mordecai shuts the door and heads toward the bedroom, only to find dust on the stairs. Dusty footprints, up the stairs down the stairs, dusty stairs. He walks up cautiously, not really sure why.

" mami- you here."

No answer, he steps into the room, nope. She's not in here...but that's new. He spots a tin watering can beside the small box garden, and a much larger tank than he remembers. The tanks sits beside the shelf rather than on it, about the size of half a coffin. Half full of water, with two round rocks in it poking out of the waters surface. The lily floats on the other side of the tank, there in the space between the two is a chunk of wood. Curious to the change Mordecai strolls over and crouches down to look into the tiny environment. He blinks in confusion when he spots the ...slightly larger than he remembers fish..fish? Is that a fish- why does it have those scrawny little noodle legs? Upon closer inspection he realizes there are other things swimming about in the water, little swimming dots. Are those tadpoles? Why did she put in tad- what?

The bright little not fish darts past a cluster of them and opens its surprisingly wide mouth. In an instant it swallows three of the unsuspecting dots, Mordecai finds himself slightly concerned with the changes this thing is having. What is it? Oh god what is it...why couldn't it just be a cute little fish that would look cute in that little bowl on the shelf... which is now full of tadpoles. ugh, gross. After a while he finds tiny little eyes looking back at him, feeling deeply disconcerted he quickly stands up and leaves the room. He makes sure to close the door tightly behind him, glancing back as he walks back down the stairs. On his way back down he notices the stove is warm, but off. He opens the door under the stair case and walks down.

"mami you here?"

Again no answer, he gives a heavy sigh as he walks into the room, lazily he scans the area. There's a lump in the jumble of blankets on the bed, with a smirk he walks over and looks at Maya tangled up in the blankets. One leg sticking out, the other hidden under the twisty blanket that's half thrown over her stomach. Her head is turned to the side on a pillow, one arm thrown up over head the other tucked under said pillow. She's sprawled out like a pitched rag doll, with her long blue hair undone falling over the pillows to the edge of the bed. With hair loose like that it reminds him of a running river, just before it becomes a waterfall. Tossed haphazardly over the remaining space on the bed are various books, a few encyclopedias of the flora and fauna indigenous to Pandora.

He begins picking the tomes up off the bed, glancing at their covers before he places them on the nearby shelf. Faery tales, these ones are strange...all with name 'Grimm' on the spine. A gun makers manual and then a book whose cover he can't read. Its written in a different language, curiously he flips the book open and scans the first page. He can read this, why is the title in a different language? Mordecai glances over his shoulder at Maya who shifts slightly, he looks back at the book. Part of him feels like he's being slightly invasive by continuing to read it, so he takes the one book out to the living room and takes off most of his gear. Mordecai plops down on the couch after removing everything but his pants and shirt. Without his gloves on he hold the book in his hands and stares at it. It's been a very long time since he read something he didn't steal from Hyperion or pluck off a bounty board.

The book itself is surprisingly heavy, its cover a deep dark color, he's almost positive its red. What other color would a book like this be? The letters embossed on its spine and cover glean and shine just like those on a brand new bible. Gold. Stupid fucking colors. He knows for most people that matters, it makes a difference, colors do things for a persons mood... so he hears. The only color he can ever make out is blue, only when the color is bright enough. Everything else is a mix of sepia and gray. He flips the cover open, surprised when he hears something crack- panic drops in his stomach like a stone. He closes the book and checks the cover, the spine- nothing. Nothing is broken. This time more carefully he opens the book and turns the first page. What a strange sound the pages makes as they slide one over the other, he drags his thumb over the paper for a moment. The paper is so thin he can almost see through to the next page, almost completely smooth. The slight texture of raised fibers here and there, these pages where hand made. A table of contents, he pinches the corner of the page and turns it. For some reason down at the base, it keeps sticking, he tilts the book to look between the pages. Thread, it was sewn together.

As he sits there with this book in his hands he find himself wondering how long it took to make this thing. Are all these words from the same person? How long did this take to... create? Mordecai finds himself becoming slightly frustrated and he hasn't even read any of the damn thing yet. He allows himself to slow his breathing til he can relocate some semblance of calm, how crappy would it be if he managed to tear her favorite book? When he finally get to the actual meat of the thing he finds himself stumped. What the hell is this guy saying? Why is everything something else and what the hell does that word mean- how do you pronounce it? He flips the page and find that same poem continuing on. Fuck. He flips again and again and again and slams the book shut. For some reason he's angry, angry at a god damn book. Who reads this shit!? Why!? Why would a person willingly subject themselves to this garbage!

He glares away from the book over to the stairs, where Maya lies sleeping in their bed. Her, she reads this, and she loves it. Every word in this stupid book is embedded into the walls of her heart, and he can't even understand whats being said. He can't seem to connect the dots, all the damn poems seem to be written about flowers and jewels and ugh. Mordecai places his hands over his eyes as he tries to push back a quickly forming headache. It occurs to him what she had said earlier, everything she knew about love and its many expressions, is what she took from these books. He keeps fucking up, he knows it. She knows it, everybody knows it. He finds himself feeling so suddenly lost, maybe she was more upset than she let on. Maybe she really was upset about other things or even worse, she wasn't upset just disappointed.

The book sits on the cushion beside him, almost tauntingly. He glares down at it then away, very suddenly he finds himself less angry and just nervous. Whatever, stupid book. He huffs and picks it back up, and reopens it. He flips through to find something easier to get through, somewhere near the center the pages turn more easily, there are dark places on the pages, little ink smudges and where she tried to wipe them away. He finds himself smiling at the image that leaves in him. This one is only half a page long, he settle in place, leaning back against the couch. More about flowers...soft petals and nectar. He rereads the line, twice more to be sure he's getting this right. Curves like rolling hills, something bountiful. This is about a woman's body? A plentiful garden of something something something... a curvy woman, whats she got in common with...hmm.

Mordecai pauses to stare somewhere past the ceiling while he rummages around in his head for a way to make this make sense. From what he's gathering this woman is soft, curvy and...fruity? What?pomegranates what the fuck is a pomegranate? Wait- Mordecai thinks back, far back. From before he left Artemis. Pomegranates... they grew in the neighbors yard, they would sometimes drop into his yard and he would be so excited about it. He recalls cutting them open and they where full of weird seeds. Seeds. A woman soft and curvy and seeds? Shes pregnant. This is a poem about a pregnant woman. Feeling a slight sense of victory Mordecai goes back and rereads it this time all the way to last line, something about silver gates curling shut. Silver curls...curl. One curl... a ring? This guys is talking about his wife! HA!

Pregnant wife.

Hmmm... thats enough for now. He quickly shuts the book suddenly feeling a sense of panic creeping up from god knows where. He stands up and silently sneaks back into the bedroom to place that book with the others. As he sets the book down he glances at her, pausing as he looks at her body. She's almost exposed in little more than a muscle shirt and panty. She never seems to have angles on her, so soft every part of her flows.. for some she makes Mordecai think of water. Always water.

His mind sort of wanders along, water, flowers, fruit FUCK.

Before he can do himself any more mental damage he quickly marches out of the room and goes back upstairs to stare down that leggy fish.