"You said what you had to say. I don't think that you should apologize for that."

Why was all this angst necessary?

Why was this happening?

"It's never going to sink into that thick skull of yours that I am not the kind of woman who says certain things lightly. I'd never run to someone and admit freely how I feel for them without finding myself buried deep," the brunette paused, and the rain filled the silence. "But I'm beginning to realize that this is a waste of your time."

"Stop it," Emma felt the tears coming forth, hot tears. Her chest constricted and she stopped breathing. "Don't say that. You know that it wasn't a waste of my time, Regina."

"It was," the brunette said on the other end. "So I've decided that we need to come to a decision right now." Her voice was hoarser than usual, affected by so much emotions. "Either you give me reason to stay or I leave this godforsaken town to reside somewhere else, far away from you building a future with…him."

She felt so cold. So cold when the thought of not having the brunette around consumed her.

Why did her life have to be that way? Constantly meeting hurdles that seemed to knock her down? And just when she would absorb the happiness from having it all, a brick wall would present itself.

"What do you want me to do?" Emma asked in a small voice. "Do you want me to just leave him and treat him as if he's not worth it? Is that what you want?"

"I don't care about anyone else but you and Henry," Regina said in frustration.

She couldn't believe it. "But you're asking me to break a man's heart just so that I can be with you. I'm not that kind of person."

"In life, we make choices," Regina sounded as if she was crying, "regardless of how you see it, we always hurt someone when we make those choices. And if you're going to be the Saviour as you claim to be, then you'll have to learn to live with that. Don't tell me about hurting people's feelings when your job in New York was to hunt down people and make them pay for what they did."

"That's because they were bad people!" Emma cried. "They were scums. Killian isn't a bad person."

"And I'm worse than him?" Regina practically cried, "after you've known me before him! After we've been through so much together."

"Don't you dare throw this back at me," the blonde threatened in a hoarse voice, "don't you dare come to me with that crap."

"This is not…crap," the older woman said in a weaker tone, "it's the truth."

"And you honestly believe that I don't care about you?" Emma couldn't understand that.

"I'm not the one tearing us apart."

"Why are you doing this?" Emma practically cried through the phone. "Are you listening to yourself? Stop for one goddamn moment and listen to what the hell you're telling me, Regina. You're asking me to hurt someone when you know that I can't –"

"Then fuck my feelings," the brunette said. There was a pregnant pause. "Is that it? After you've picked me up and led me down the right path and you were there when I needed someone. All the time you were there. You came into my life. I didn't crash into yours. And that makes me a bad person so you can choose to break my heart instead of his."

"I never said –"

"Go ahead and do what you want, Emma," the brunette said through tears. "Live your life with him because deep down inside you'd rather be the one responsible for breaking my heart. When you know that you feel the same way about me. I'm not stupid. My feelings ride on mutual grounds."

That was enough to immediately shut her up. To present the kind of pause that was filled with thick tension. Tension that seeped into her bones and began to suffocate her heart. She felt as if the world was dying. Her world.

"Regina –" Emma croaked.

"You're a coward," the older woman sobbed.

"I don't need this from you right now," the blonde stated, her chest constricting. The cold wind came in and numbed her face. "I really don't need you to lower your worth, and plant me in all the mess as if I'm the one to blame."

"I regret ever meeting you," Regina whispered. "I wish that we never met."

Emma couldn't reply, because her heart had stopped beating. Her chest had grown colder.

"You're nothing but a coward, and I regret ever falling for you –"

"Don't say that to me," the blonde broke down, her lips quivering as she began to cry. "Don't you dare say that to me, Regina. Because I'm not the kind of person to hurt you. I would never hurt you. This is just a really bad place for me and you're not seeing this from my side, you're just –"

The line disconnected and she crumbled. Her chest heaved uncontrollably as she fought the sobs. As she curled up into a ball and cried, bleeding inside. Because this was never her intention. To shatter what they had. Never. And now she felt the blow of her selfishness in trying to muffle those feelings deep down inside.

Regina had been right. She had been so damn right. She knew her better than anyone else. Mutual feelings.

For some odd reason, her mind dwelled upon that time when she had asked the brunette to be her friend. When she walked away knowing that them being friends didn't feel right at all. And she needed something more. More than just friends. Or best friends. She needed so much more.

X

Explaining the entire situation to Henry was something she had been hesitant to even consider all along. Simply because the kid seemed so happy living in his own bubble, with enough drama popping up here and there. Then to add this onto his plate; what kind of mother would even slip that into her child's lap?

Unless he was seriously observant and cornered her about it.

This was exactly the situation that unfolded two days after in the park. She was sitting upon a bench, overwhelmed by her own thoughts. Deep thinking most people referred to it as. But in her circumstance, the blonde was buried deep inside a dark and painful world where nothing but failure and hurt seemed to grab at her.

She was sinking.

There were no missed calls from Regina. No text messages. Her WhatsApp was disconnected and she hadn't been seen around the town or heard from since that night.

"Thought I'd find you here," Henry's boots snapped some twigs as he approached the bench, the zips on his backpack clicking.

She barely glanced around to consider him, still wrapped in the most evident proclamation ever. That she had committed the most hurtful crime ever. And Regina would never speak to her again.

It was always the same. Just as soon as they fell out, she would somehow slip into a tankful of feels that circled around a hole created by guilt. That she was to be blamed and she had to fix things.

"So mom's obviously buried in her work since she's back as Mayor," he sat next to her, slipping off his bag. "And I was there yesterday and today, to have lunch with her."

"That's nice," Emma said, marveling over the simple fact that she hadn't considered the Mayor's office as Regina's usual bat cave.

"Something's wrong with her," Henry kept throwing glances at his mother. "Do you have any idea what it might be?"

"Dunno," Emma stared onto the pond's shimmering surface without blinking.

For a full minute, he didn't provide a reply.

"I'm not a kid anymore, you know mom," he finally said, nudging her leg with his. "You can tell me stuff."

"There's nothing to tell," she lied in a softer tone, barely audible over the rush of the breeze through the trees.

Five minutes. Still she divulged nothing. Only to have him stare into the distance after a long sigh, wondering why he had to serve as the middle man. It was like trying to be a peace maker between two powerful countries on the battle field. Meaning that he had to feel the bluntness of things said. He had to listen to both sides.

"What if I told you that I just spent almost three hours with mom in her office," he said in a tone that expressed sadness. "And within that time, she cried for like an hour. You're still going to turn a blind eye?"

"Kid," her eyes slowly fluttered close. Emma slumped forward, arms resting on her thighs that were spread apart, "you don't want to get in the middle of this. Believe me."

"But I'm always in the middle whether I choose to be or not," Henry reminded her. "The two of you fail to realize that whatever happens between you, I feel everything. I just listened to her open up herself to me in a way that she hasn't done for a long time."

Emma ran her fingers through disheveled blonde hair, head lowered.

"I know that you feel the same way about her, mom. You can't lie to me."

There it was. The simple fact that he could read her without even trying too hard. Because he was her son. They were connected. There were things he understood before she explained. Things he caught onto.

"And I know that you're scared and you don't know what to expect. But I've known her longer than you. And even when I stopped believing in her, you did. When you have that kind of belief in someone, you trust them. And that's not an easy thing to do."

"She's a…" she wanted to say it, rather wished that she could will herself to, but the word never escaped. "This is different."

"So what if she's not a guy?"

Her emerald eyes turned to him, widening from believing that he could honestly read minds.

"Aren't relationships supposed to be more that...physical attraction?" he seemed so wise, so thoughtful that she gazed at him and remembered Neal for some odd reason. His insight into things. The way he fleshed out situations and seemed to be equipped with the kind of knowledge that came from so much years of reading.

"It's not that I'm not attracted to her in that way…"

"Then what's the problem?" he frowned. "Hook?"

"I can't disappoint him," she tried to explain. "Why can't anyone see that?"

"Because maybe the people you're around really care about what you want and your happiness above anyone else's," Henry tried with a shrug. "Hook will be hurt, yeah. But he'll move on" He never did take a liking to Killian.

She mused about that and studied the side of his face. Wondering why after all those years, when Neal had first met Regina, he somehow became suspicious of her attachment to the older woman.

"Ask yourself if you'd rather be with him whilst you're in love with Regina, and you'd rather have her leave Storybrooke. Because she can't stand to see you with him." He studied her face intently.

The wind lifted blonde hair. Emma tucked a chunk behind an ear.

"Frankly I don't want to lose her," he said softly. "I'd rather let go of Hook, instead of my other mom."

It was always about what made him happy. She stayed to be with him. Stayed to make sure that he was happy. This was all about Henry. But oftentimes, she catered for her happiness as well. Now here was a situation whereby losing someone he loved was threatening. But to give up on someone she had grown to trust as well was also painful.

"What don't you like about her?" he wanted to know with a small smile. "Is it her cranky mood and her sassiness?"

She actually chuckled after that, only seeming to remember Regina's recent display of complete mushiness. Sometimes she hated that. Not knowing what to expect. Knowing only what could be seen from someone's face expression.

Henry wanted what was best for both his mothers. But inevitably he would be led down a path that consisted of possibly losing one of them. That's the way he saw it presently. Especially after seeing Emma's display of emotions.

"I just don't like how she's unreadable at times," the blonde confessed, tucking a chunk of blonde hair behind an ear. The wind caressed her face. She sighed. "Like she seems to be putting up this wall that no one can see past and it's so annoying.

"I know what you mean," Henry agreed with a nod. "I guess it kind of comes with her experiences. Robin used to complain about the same thing. He used to ask me what she was thinking. I guess you just have to ask her how she feels instead of trying to read her face. I know that she's not usually good with words. But she's trying these days. Especially today. She said a lot to me. And by a lot I mean a lot."

She studied his face and wondered if he would divulge any information that had been expressed by Regina her. Any at all. Afraid to ask, the blonde sat there and awaited any bit of news to signal the possibility of how to proceed.

"I'll tell you what though," Henry finally said after a few seconds had slipped by. "She wants to have a face to face meeting with you."

"When?" Emma held her breath.

The thought of sitting with Regina alone was something that made her heart skip a few beats.

Henry actually smiled. "See? I knew you're in love with her. Because instead of asking me 'why?' you chose to ask me 'when?' and that shows that you want to meet her."

"I…" Emma swallowed hard, "I guess so." Being in love with Regina. Why was it so easy for him to believe but it was so difficult for her to process?

"As long as you're game, I can give her the heads up and she'll do it. It's all up to you," Henry said with a shrug. "What about this afternoon? Got any plans?"

She had promised to have dinner with Killian, nothing serious but a one on one as well for her to discuss a few things about their relationship. Deep down inside though, Emma began to feel as if they weren't going to last long. As if they were holding back too much from each other and very soon contained feelings would force them to explode. Because he was already complaining about her absences and the fact that she refused to divulge everything with him.

"Tell her that I'll do it," she decided on impulse on what her heart felt in that moment. Losing Regina was not an option. It never was.

"Yeah?" Henry turned to consider his mother's face. He seemed genuinely surprised.

Emma nodded. She forced out a smile. "Yeah, why not. She's a Queen. And you can't keep a Queen waiting at all."

Mimicking her smile, he pulled out his phone and began to text away.

X

For some odd reason, the brunette refused to meet inside the Diner. Her mind was definitely set on avoiding scrutiny by any and every one and any interruptions for that matter. So away from prying eyes, Emma trudged down a path along the beach, her boots sinking into the sand as the wind whipped blonde hair about.

It was almost 6pm.

The moon was full that evening, bright and the sky presented an abundance of clouds to signal a possible downpour later on. Perhaps they should have avoided such a windy night by seating themselves indoors. But to Emma, it was all about what Regina wanted. And as the scene presented itself, the older woman preferred nothing else than having them both in the open air under the stars.

Alone.

She wasn't in the least bit afraid. But she was nervous. After all, their last conversation didn't end well.

So that when emerald eyes registered the brunette perched on the edge of the wooden pier ahead, nothing could slow down her heart. Nothing at all. Although the older woman wasn't facing her, she could highlight the stiffness in Regina's attitude. Her manner of sitting wasn't entirely relaxed to suggest a calm mood.

Emma approached slowly, wringing her hands and wondering what Killian was doing at that moment. Possibly blowing off steam within the depths of his ship after she had cancelled on a bad note.

Sometimes there were things in life that seemed to roll over, to eventually disintegrate. In other words, whatever was meant to be would linger. The things that weren't deserving would dissolve.

She didn't even care that much about leaving him to chase the wind upon his ship. Knowing well enough that their paths didn't seem to cross.

Not the way her life seemed to cross with Regina's life.

It was remarkable how connected they were because she was just about four feet away when the brunette suddenly reared her head to consider the blonde. Dark hair fanned into those brown eyes. Regina reached up to clip the flyaway tendrils and she held them back momentarily before the gaze consumed her mind.

It was a gaze enacted that served to possibly drown both of them.

Emma took a deep breath before proceeding, wondering how the world could unwind itself in this manner.

She wasn't sure if to sit or stand. Momentarily standing inches away from the other woman's position, emerald eyes were focused forward. Her breathing was measured. Her heart couldn't be quiet. Not when they were connecting in this way. Not when she could literally feel their auras meshing, their worlds colliding.

Regina gazed at the blonde's form as the younger woman lowered herself.

They sat there for a long time without speaking to each other. But simply savoring the buzz, the tension between them that seemed to never become unbearable but to swallow them into a bubble.

"I thought you'd never show up," The brunette's eyes fluttered close.

For a moment, the younger woman wasn't quite certain of the answer to the question. She frowned. "I thought you wouldn't either."

Regina gripped the edge of the pier tighter. "So we're both here because you've come to your senses."

The blonde merely gazed at the other woman's cheek and she couldn't formulate the words to respond. Instead, those emerald eyes rested on the rough waters before them.

A rough patch of water.

So rough. No calm. Just like the turmoil within their hearts.

"Aren't you going to say anything to me?" Regina croaked.

Emma held her breath. The wind played with blonde strands. "I thought you said that you wished you never met me…"

Tasting those words on her tongue was so hurtful that she felt her throat tighten. Closing up. She felt wounded.

The brunette sighed, lowering her head. "I did say that…"

The younger woman considered dark hair; beautiful silky tendrils. "Then what if your wish came through. Could you live without me in your life?"

Her voice seemed smaller as the wind played with those words. The wind swirled between them and howled and made the waves dance. And Regina seemed to be sinking into the spot where she was.

"Could you really think about not having me around?" Emma tried again. There was a knot in her throat.

Regina's face was partially concealed by her dark hair still. "Stop playing mind games with me," she whispered.

"But that's what you've been doing to me since we got back from New York," the blonde reminded her, tears being held at bay. "You just started to confuse me." Emma swallowed hard. "And it's not like you gave me time to prepare. You've been fucking with me, Regina."

"So what was I supposed to do?" came the older woman's hoarse reply. Their eyes met and the connection between them was intense. The waves crashed and rolled.

"I needed you to help me understand how you feel. Not to rush things on me just like that."

"Blame yourself," Regina's tone was slightly bitter. Her brown eyes glistened with tears.

Emma frowned. "Because I couldn't soak up your feelings like a sponge?"

"No. The minute you returned from New York, you've been jumping the gun with Hook." The brunette's eyes swirled with fire. "You're suddenly discussing moving in together and I just couldn't smother my feelings anymore because I really didn't grasp it all. I didn't understand the magnitude of my feelings." She inhaled deeply.

"I can't keep circling around this, Regina," Emma muttered. "I need you to do something, to say something to me. Make me choose you. I need a reason to leave Killian for you." She was quite aware of brown orbs widening upon her. "You can't expect me to just pack up and leave and all I have is words."

"What do you want me to do?" the brunette whispered, struggling to breathe.

"Force me to stay here so that I don't want to go anywhere else."

"I don't need to do that," Regina said to her. "You're already here because you want to be here. I never had to force you to do anything, Emma. Because you've always chosen me over anyone else. Even your parents when they would doubt my worth. You would step in and take my side. I don't need to give you a reason to stay with me."

She felt the tears coming forth and allowed them. As hot as they were in comparison to the wind's bitterness, Emma allowed it. Rolling down her cheeks as she folded inwards and she felt raw inside. As she crumbled. As she sank lower and lower.

"Okay," she said, her voice barely audible. "So give me more than words."

"I once before asked if I could kiss you," Regina reminded the blonde. "And you denied me that. So what do you want from me?"

"I don't…" she shrugged, reaching up to bat away the tears. Her eyes remained downcast. "I don't know exactly. I just want something and I don't know what it is."

For a while, the older woman sat there studying the blonde in silence. Then she inched nearer. And nearer until their thighs were touching. The effect was a grand one, feeling immediately how Emma's body responded to her being so close in proximity.

"Hold…me," Regina said in a hoarse manner.

Emma considered her face for a few seconds. And then she willed her right arm around the other woman's waist. Slowly. But then, when the warmth of the brunette's body radiated onto her skin, she gave in almost immediately.

It was like completing a circle. Knowing that something had been missing all along and the feeling of having at least a touch of that still lingered in her mind. Because she had known this before. The familiarity of having someone so close to her that sparked up something warm and fuzzy. But those times before, Neal had held her in his arms. Now it was the other way around.

"How does it feel?" Regina rested her forehead upon the younger woman's neck. She inhaled deeply, her eyes fluttering close. "To have me so near to you?"

Emma smiled. "Warm."

"And…" the brunette waited, her fingers aching to become entwined with Emma's.

Emerald eyes fluttered close as she gradually felt their bodies sharing the same warmth. "Like I'm finally home."

Regina held her breath as the wind encircled them, their magic creating a shield that warded away anything but warmth. At times she used to believe that they were strong enough to calm any storm. Now it was definite; that they were even capable of containing their energy inside a bubble that only they could savor.

"That's good," she said in a hoarse voice, her lips moving upon the other woman's fair neck, just where a pulse could be felt.

Emma's heart was racing. Her toes curled. "Can I…kiss you now? Just asking that question made her weak. Mind, body and soul.

Regina pulled her face away from warm skin that smelled like everything her heaven would consist of. Vanilla and cocoa, intermingled together. Gently, she brushed their noses together, a smile playing upon her lips.

"Yes you may," she whispered, as the blonde's eyes fluttered close. Easing one arm upwards, she captured blonde tendrils between her fingers. The silky feel. So soft and welcoming. And as their lips remained inches apart, Regina finally entwined their fingers upon Emma's lap.

"I can't breathe," the younger woman said softly, already trembling from within.

"I can't either…" Regina croaked, "...every second that you're not mine."

And just like that, the blonde pushed in and allowed their lips to meet. Softly at first. Just an acknowledgement of the distance never existing anymore. Feeling how little bolts of electricity sprang from the meeting of their souls and dancing through her mind; her body. And then she was being kissed back as her mouth was eased open further by an even softer one.

The sensation was nothing like she could have even imagined. Softer. Sweeter. Better than ever. Leaving her even more breathless than before but she never felt like coming back up for air. Not when the brunette curled into her embrace. Providing so much in that one slow kiss that lasted forever.

In her mind, she tasted the bitter sweet commencement of a fairytale. Sweet poison spreading through her and consuming her mind. Over and over again. Regina kissed her back so deeply. Capturing the younger woman's bottom lip between hers and sucking gently before releasing and going in again.

"I want you," the blonde breathed into dark hair, her fingers caressing the other woman's back and travelling lower. She rested their foreheads together.

Regina's lips were parted. She breathed through them, brown eyes fluttering close. Her chest heaved. "I want to show you what you've…" she couldn't catch her breath as yet, "…what you've been missing all this time."

"Take me wherever you want us to go," Emma whispered as their cheeks rubbed together. She entwined their fingers and gazed at them.

Finding herself seconds after splayed out upon a Queen sized bed that felt deeply inviting and softer than ever wasn't surprising to say the least.

Emma didn't even have enough time to consider the details but was quite aware of where she was; in Regina's room where the dark red curtains flapped from the night wind. Where the luxurious feel only seemed fitting for royalty and the dimly lit interior provided nothing but mystery.

When emerald eyes latched onto brown ones, she simply forgot everything else. Nothing else mattered. Only the brunette as she advanced slowly towards the bed, clad in her black tailored dress, dark hair short and disheveled.

"So this is what it feels like to be seduced by the Queen," Emma tried, realizing that her voice was huskier than before.

Regina climbed gracefully onto the bed, closing the distance between them as she walked on her knees. The abundance of lust in her eyes sparked up a fire. Little flames.

By reflex, as the older woman drew nearer, Emma lowered herself onto the plush mattress, staring. Holding her breath. Her hands reaching up to caress the brunette's blushed face. Soft skin. Warmth. Nothing but perfection.

The kiss was enacted again and this time Regina controlled the pace as she eased into a sensual one that invited more passion. Emma's toes curled. She allowed a moan to escape when her throat was kissed and those soft lips moved further down south, eager fingers unbuttoning her shirt and splaying the fabric apart.

She mewled when the brunette lingered between her breasts, teeth grazing a little pathway over erect nipples. Arching her back, she invited so much more. Closing the distance between parted lips and her heaving chest, only providing the older woman with an opportunity to suck slowly. To pull and kiss fluidly. Never pausing.

Regina moved further down, very soon she was tugging at the other woman's pants zip, lower and lower. Only seconds it seemed like before the article of clothing was tossed onto the floor and she pressed her searching mouth upon pink panties. Her teeth drove a pathway downwards, forcing the blonde to arch her back further, writhing upon the bed.

Her mind was blown away when she was dominated in that way. Deeply and intensely pleasing. The older woman sought out the one place that ached the most and she sucked and used her mouth slowly. Driving Emma to the edge as her fingertips dug into the red satin sheets. Twisting. Moaning and then crying out until her throat became parched. Emma lost herself several times before she realized that her thighs were gripped firmly and the love making continued deeper and faster.

Every time she came undone, she cried out Regina's name. Driving her fingers through dark tendrils as blonde hair grew damper from sweat dripping down her back. How was it so different to be lost, to be drowning with another woman? She had never known this kind of love. Never before until now. And it was more than a hundred times pleasurable. Satisfying. Regina stole her away to a place where she drifted in thick passion. Where her heart lifted from her chest and rested in a space that felt so beautiful.

Their bodies writhed together. Moving together. Completing one feeling that grew and grew.

She was so beautiful.

Every curve of her body that the younger woman's fingers travelled across. Soft hips that fitted with hers as they pleasured each other with thrusting fingers. Screaming as she dug her fingernails into the brunette's back and she came again and again. Feeling how warm and pleasing the older woman was when she came undone, harder and faster. Both of them couldn't breathe. Neither of them cared. Until they both lay in each other's arms, shaking with the sheets soaked.

She held her.

Emma had her arm around Regina as the brunette's face rested between her breasts. As she drowned and couldn't come up back for air. Both of them were still floating in a space in time that seemed so surreal. So…magical. The intensity of their togetherness merely provided clarity that what existed between them was not normal. It wasn't just pleasure. It was so much more. Shaking her to the core.

"Almost," Emma whispered as world of sleep rested heavy on her eyelids.

Momentarily, Regina's breathing ceased. The rise and fall of her chest stopped. She nestled her face into the other woman's breasts further.

"No," the blonde said softly, her fingers curling through dark tendrils. Emerald eyes focused on the red blinds, fluttering lightly. The moon was round. "This is enough."

And she slipped into a ride of dreams that settled upon them making love to each other deeper and deeper and slower.

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