---- Chapter 52

"All right baby girl, time for your bath."

Jordan started getting wiggly and trying to work her way out of the position she'd taken in Lois's arms. Lois simply rolled her eyes and smiled. "You're not getting out of this, Jordan, much like you don't get out of it any other night."

"But I'm not dirty, mommy!"

"You spent the day on a farm, baby girl. Trust mommy on this one: you're dirty." When the little girl didn't let up in her wiggling attempts to escape, Lois decided to break out the big guns. "Am I going to have to tickle you all the way into the bathtub?"

"No! No bath!"

Lois shook her head a second before attacking, fingers finding her daughter's numerous ticklish areas. The wiggling didn't stop, but the protests turned into giggles and Lois soon had Jordan thrown over her shoulder, one hand continuing the assault off and on as she walked them to the bathroom. She put her down on the bath mat, the giggles quickly turning into a mope.

Had she not known better, she would have sworn she was looking at Clark, because she'd seen that face on him a million times in the past. She turned on the water and started pulling clothes off of her, receiving little in the way of resistance or help. Soon after, she'd plopped the little girl down in the middle of the bathtub.

"See? Not so bad."

Jordan took up playing with some of her bath toys and appeared to be doing her best to ignore Lois.

Rolling her eyes, Lois grabbed the cup on the side of the tub and filled it with water. Kneeling next to the tub, she tilted Jordan's head back a little before pouring the water through her hair. She did it once more before stopping for a moment to get Jordan's body all soaped up and rinsing her off. Grabbing the shampoo, she lathered it into her hair softly, filled the cup with water again and rinsed Jordan's hair out.

A moment later, she pulled Jordan out of the tub and toweled her off for a couple minutes before hefting her up on a hip, wrapped in the towel, and walking into her room. Lois put her down on the bed before grabbing some underwear and pajamas for her to put on. She handed them to Jordan, who liked to put her own clothes on these days.

A couple minutes and a fixed backwards pajama top later, they walked out of the room hand in hand and sat down on the couch together.

"Will you tell me a story, mommy?"

Lois looked down at Jordan, smiling. "Sure. Do you have one you want to hear?"

"Will you make up a new one for me?"

She chewed on her lip a second before shrugging. So far, denying Jordan what she wanted seemed to be a soft spot for her. Hell, her entire daughter was a soft spot for her. Demanding little rascal, though, wanting a new story made up for her. Weren't the classics good enough anymore?

"Okay, well... yeah, I think this can be done." She paused a second and took a deep breath. "Years and years ago, there was a girl. She liked to show the world a strong face and was determined not to let the world dictate how she would live her life. She enjoyed herself for a long time, and then she met a guy.

"Now, this isn't your typical love story, Jordan. It has all the markings of typical, because the girl couldn't stand the guy when they first met. They did things together out of necessity, and really it was against her will that they started getting along and became friends. But he had a tendency to be annoying and he really needed a personality transplant."

"What does that mean?"

Lois frowned a second before speaking again. "Well, it means that the man had a tendency to always see the negative in his life, and he needed to change. He needed to see that the good in his life outweighed the bad. It's a common problem, really, and the girl hated it. She didn't understand it, because she always thought about the now, about doing her best at the moment. Well, except for an unfortunate stint selling coffee and muffins, but everybody has bumps in the road."

"Will I?"

Pulling Jordan close, she leaned over and placed a kiss on her head. "Not if I have any say in it, you won't. I will always be there to try and help you and AJ avoid the bumps in life, even if they're bumps you can't avoid."

Jordan looked up at her. "Like what?"

"Well, I don't know. As awesome as your mom is, baby girl, she can't see the future. Much like the girl in the story, actually, who didn't think about the future a lot. The option that was best for her in the present was the best option for her, she always thought, and it got her into trouble a few times. Well, more than a few. Fortunately, the guy was helpful and could help her out of situations, even if she didn't actually need help."

Lois looked up as she heard Clark scoff. He walked out of their bedroom and plopped down in a chair. "Jeez, Smallville, I hadn't even realized you weren't in the room anymore."

"Now that's love."

"Anyway," Lois said as she rolled her eyes and looked back to Jordan, "the girl and the guy grew close. They were very good friends. After some time, they admitted that they were in love. But there was a problem."

"What problem, mommy?"

What problem indeed. What could she sub in for memory loss? "You see, every time the guy and the girl got too close to one another, the girl started sneezing and couldn't stop."

"Was the guy's name Shelby, Lo?"

She shot him a glare before continuing the story, though now that he mentioned it, this did seem to the lesser known story of Lois and Shelby at the moment. Jordan was probably too young for the guy to get hit by a car.

"What had happened was the guy had been infected by something. They finally figured out what it was, though really it was the girl that figured it out, and they lived happily ever after."

"Good story mom..." Jordan didn't get to complete her sentence as she yawned once, then followed it immediately with one of equal size.

Clark stood and walked across the room, sweeping Jordan up into his arms. "Since your mom bathed you tonight, I guess that means I have the good fortune of seeing you go to sleep." All he got in response was a head laid down on his shoulder. He looked down at her. "Would mom like to join us?"

Lois smiled and pushed herself up off the couch. "Yes, she would."

They walked together into Jordan's room, getting her situated under the covers then laying down on top of them, both on a side of her. Lois ran her hand gently across Jordan's back as she fell asleep, smiling at Clark as she did so. How had she gotten so lucky as to end up with all of this?

She smiled a little bit more when AJ kicked, and out of habit pulled Clark's hand over and placed it on the spot she'd felt him. When he kicked again, Clark's eyes widened a bit and he broke out into a smile. Lois returned it full on, knowing just how happy he felt at feeling AJ kick for the first time.

If such a thing as a perfect moment had existed for Lois, this probably would have been it. She was laying in bed with a husband she loved, a daughter that she loved beyond words and her husband was feeling their son kick for the first time. There was no bad to be found, just happiness, and she didn't want it to end.

It did, though, when she saw Clark's eyes get their faraway look. She sighed and gently got off the bed as he did so as well, following him out to the hallway. He stopped and turned around, smiling at her for a second before pulling her into the softest toe curling kiss she could imagine. And then he was gone.

Biting her lip, she shook her head. That was SO not fair. He couldn't just get her engine revving and then leave it sitting in idle! She shook her head again at the stupid car metaphor and padded through the apartment and into their bedroom, where she grabbed the diary before walking back into the living room. She placed herself down on the couch before flipping the thing open and getting to the next entry.

December 25, 2018

Merry Christmas, whenever you are.

The holiday's have gone by in a Superman style blur. Jordan's had her first Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas now, and even though she won't remember it, I will. Well, I will as long as I get to keep my memory. I'm not putting my annoyed growl into words, but you know what it sounds like.

These are the types of things that have become extremely important to me. The special days with Jordan, Clark and the rest of our family. It makes me think back to when I could remember, all those holidays that just got glossed over with a quick dinner with the General and a call to Lucy. I never knew what I didn't have. I never knew just how special a holiday could be until I spent it with family.

For Halloween, we dressed up Jordan in a Wonder Woman outfit. I think Diana got a kick out of it when we saw her, but don't quote me on that. I don't think she's ever been all that pleased by people making a buck off her costume. I enjoyed getting to dress Jordan up, though (there's something that I couldn't have seen coming), and I especially enjoyed munching on all the candy we picked up for her.

On a side note, I JUST got back to my pre-pregnancy weight. Let me tell you, it is not an easy thing to do when you have holiday after holiday following having a baby. Halloween wasn't too bad, because we didn't get a ton of candy for Jordan, considering she couldn't eat it. Thanksgiving was the usual, though. I gorged myself on turkey for days at the Wayne Manor, and forsook the workout program I'd been doing every day. Bad Lois.

About a week ago I was back to normal weight and feeling good about it, so of course today I probably packed on ten pounds with all the food that was available to me. Clark ate as much as I did, though, so I don't feel like a total pig, even if he has seven or eight inches and a hundred plus pounds on me.

So, back on track, Thanksgiving at Chloe's place was great. Jordan already liked to fly by that point, and she did her best to be the best baby ever while we were in Gotham. She slept through the night, wasn't excessively smelly at any point and decided to smile at whoever was holding her. Precious. I've never liked affixing that word to a person, because I always think of a rich woman talking to her poodle, but that's what it was.

And holy cow, the first time she smiled, I mean really smiled at me...

Throughout my pregnancy, I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those women that melted at her baby's every first. I promised myself that I wouldn't fall to a million happy pieces whenever something happened for the first time and could be construed as a minor milestone.

I broke that promise. Everything she's done since the day she was born has had me enamored with her even more. She's so crazy cute that it hurts sometimes. But the first time she smiled at me may have been the most ridiculous happy I've ever had. I couldn't control myself. I blubbered so many happy tears that I could barely see the smile anymore. It was nuts. I was nuts.

Anyway...

That brings us to today, Christmas (which doesn't start in July, as we once theorized it would by this year, though it does start around Halloween). We're at the Wayne Manor again, since it has enough space to fit everybody. We got up early, since Jack is getting to the years where waking up early to see what Santa brought him. Let me just say that the boy got quite a haul, as did the girls, who turned one at the beginning of the month.

Of course, Jordan was no slouch in the presents department. Martha knitted a blanket for her, which is seven kinds of gorgeous. It's blue, tinged with red and yellow at the edges. Can't imagine where she got the color scheme. Chloe and her family gave her some pillows and various stuffed animals. Clark and I gave her the best present of all, though: love.

God, that was lame. Clark level cheesiness. Had I known his brand of crazy was infectious, well, I'd have married him anyway, but I'd have gotten some immunizations.

Looking at this diary entry, I notice that I can't seem to stay on the topic at hand. Of course, the topic at hand always seems to change these days. My life is no longer really about me anymore. The things that fulfilled me the most six months ago almost pale in comparison to what I get out of being with Jordan. I still enjoy them, but they just don't make me as happy as they used to.

It took until I had started going into the Planet with more frequency that I really noticed how much things had changed. That makes sense, since what I once got the most pleasure out of (not including Clark) was writing the stories and bringing wrongs out into the open. When I started doing that again with Jordan by my side... I still got the fulfillment, but it just didn't do it for me the same way it used to.

You'd think that I'd be upset about this. I tried to be upset about it. Then I looked at my daughter and saw her sucking a thumb, or just looking at me, and I didn't care. I don't know if that makes me a bad career minded woman, and if it does, I don't care.

Right now, what I find the most happiness in is my daughter. My family, really, because I wouldn't have my baby girl without Clark. Without him, I wouldn't have all this happiness that I grasp onto so firmly now. The man has dashed the bad dreams of a lonely future for me, and I don't know if I will ever be able to tell him just how much that means to me.

Of course, he sees the same thing in our me and our family. To him, I am what came between him and the nightmare of a long life alone with himself, which admittedly sounds dreadful.

It's funny, really, how two people could have such a similar fear when they approached life in such different manners for so long, that had such different upbringings. Leave it to me to think like an intergalactic traveler (of course, millions of people have the same fear, but you know how much we like to feel unique).

Wasn't this entry supposed to be about the holidays? I know when I started writing this I had set out to preserve Jordan's first holiday season in writing so that I would always know it, if not remember it. As many things do these days, it's turned into a festival of mushiness that centers around my daughter.

(If the year is like 2046 and you're reading this, Jordan, I love you, but you turned me into a sentimental sap even more than your father did. And to any other children I may have had, I'm sure you did the same thing. Mommy is not amused. I love you anyway.)

Of course, I guess that's what it's really all about. Love. Love for my daughter. Love for my husband. Love for my cousin and her family. Love for Martha. Love for my own father and sister. I wouldn't have a life if I didn't have the love of all these people. Hell, I probably would have worked myself to death by now had I not had these people in my life. They take care of me.

I'm almost ashamed to admit it, but I like being taken care of. While I loved being the one that took care of everybody when I was younger, it feels good sometimes to have people around me that I can lean on when I need to instead of making myself rigid against the storm of life. Reading that, if that's what my articles are like, why do people read this drivel?

Bad metaphors aside, life is good. We've covered the personal, so lets talk business.

Clark hasn't had any major stuff to prevent or stop recently, which is welcome. There's the usual run of idiots that think they'll be the ones that get away from Superman and still try to rob banks or knock over a gas station, but for the most part the city has been quiet for the holidays. Yay for that.

Of course, with the slow in the city, Clark and I have been able to focus on a longer investigation rather than the quick stuff. We've been doing a piece on Intergang that we think has serious potential to damage their infrastructure. There's some compelling evidence and whatnot that we've laid our hands on and quite possibly more to come. Yay for us.

I expect to get the story printed in mid to late January since I'm sure this lull in criminal activity won't last. Here's hoping, though.

And there are the cries of a hungry baby. My hungry baby, expecting some dinner. How ridiculous is that?

(Just ridiculous enough.)

Lois smiled, knowing a little bit what she'd felt like back then. Of course, instead of having to wait to see her daughter smile, she'd walked out of a room to a smiling, giggle prone three year old. But still, that first smile...

Stupid memory robbing her of the moments she needed. She's a mother; she should get to remember what her children did and when!

Shaking off her annoyance, Lois flipped the page in the diary and started reading again.

February 12, 2019

I don't know why I'm writing today. I shouldn't be writing, really. I'm not in any shape to put words on paper. Hell, I'm not in any shape to do anything but hold Jordan close and kiss her cheek four or five times an hour. It's one of the more comforting acts I can do right now. It assures me that there's still happiness, that everything hasn't totally gone to shit.

Clark is missing. God, writing it makes my heart hurt. He went out to meet with a source yesterday and never came back to the Planet. I've been in that situation before, but Clark is pretty kidnap proof. Unless they know who he is, and what his weakness is.

But how could they? I mean, Lex has been investigating Superman since the day he showed up and he's never figured it out. Hell, I tried to figure it out for a little while until I was told by the man himself. But if they do know who he is and how to weaken him...

They have to know, really. I used the bracelet when he didn't return and there hadn't been any Superman sightings. He was in pain. The pain hasn't stopped since then, at least not while I've had the bracelet on.

What I have to wonder is whether or not this has anything to do with Intergang. Clark and I printed the article I talked about in the December entry a week and a half ago, and it screwed up that organization pretty thoroughly. Their business was strongly affected, at least according to a couple of my sources.

Superman also targeted them recently, but that didn't really have anything to do with the article. They had just increased activity and it warranted some Superman type attention to keep the problem from getting too out of hand.

I just... I don't know what to do. I'm always the one that is kidnapped, not Clark. But I don't even know if he was really kidnapped or if Superman went to make a save and was hurt, or captured or something else equally traumatic to his well being.

I'm going out of my mind trying to figure out what I can do to help things along, but at the same time I'm trying to take care of a daughter that seems to realize her dad is in trouble. The two of them have always seemed to have a connection, but I've just thought it was their happy disposition (I wonder if there's ever been a baby with a mopey disposition... question for another time).

And speaking of said daughter, she's taken to crying for her father again. It's taking me a good half hour to get her calmed down at times, longer than it did when she was a newborn. Unfortunately, I feel the same way she does. Maybe she's just picking up on my worry, who knows, but we're both stressed out and just want Clark back.

What the hell? If she'd ever had panicked writing before, that was it! Her handwriting was never anything to write home about, but it had always been neat enough and had even acquired a little bit of a flowing look to it. This... this was half a step above chicken scratch.

Hopefully there wasn't much in the way of stories between Jordan being born and what was going on February 12th, 2019. For once, it seemed events were going to line themselves up between flashback and diary.

Now when the hell was her husband getting back? Apparently Clark getting called away when she wanted him around for a story or an activity was something she was going to have to get used to. She didn't like it. She didn't like it one bit.

An hour later, Lois was reading when Clark came in through the balcony door. She sat the book down and stood up.

"How'd it go?"

He shrugged. "As well as a hostage situation ever goes. It took a little while, but the situation was resolved. A woman got grazed by a bullet in all the turmoil."

"Is she going to be alright?"

"Yeah. Just needed some stitches."

Lois nodded, then started thinking about the diary. She'd already been in a situation where she didn't know where he was or if he was alright. Just thinking about it sent shivers up her spine. Before she gave it another thought, she walked over and wrapped her arms around Clark. She felt him do the same before she laid her head against him, sighing at the feel of his muscles. It made her feel safe.

"I love a good hug as much as the next guy, but this seems out of the blue. What's going on?"

"Nothing," she mumbled against his chest. "I just like hugging you. Must be a side effect of the falling in love you dosed me with."

"Second best side effect ever."

She looked up at him. "What's the best?"

"The you wanting to take advantage of me at all hours of the day."

Rolling her eyes, Lois attempted to push herself away but found herself still surrounded by arms of steel. She looked up at him. "You are such a guy."

"I hope so, else I've spent a lot of years as part of the wrong gender."

"I can attest to some physical aspects of your gender... or would that be your sex..."

"Speaking of..." Clark leaned down and kissed her lightly on the corner of her mouth, causing her to break out in a wide smile.

"Well, I guess I can't bring it up and not help you out with making sure you've been classified correctly all these years." Lois stood up on her toes and kissed him the same way he had her, and very quickly melted into him.

Yeah, he was all man, and Lois was really happy that he was all hers.