It goes like this:

Cosima meets Helena. Cosima meets Beth. Cosima meets Mrs. Sadler.

And then there's tea.


It's kinda odd, she figures, that they – terminally ill children in their teenage years - all come together to have meals. Especially since she imagined this to be more of a hospital, where everything happens in bed.

But no.

As the weather is nice they abandon the large dining room Beth showed her earlier for a picnic in the garden. Helena guarantees her that this is not something to cry about. "You are lucky. Picnics are the best", she tells her very seriously, "You can pick and choose. And nobody notices If you put things back you don't like." At this she snickers and then skips off, supposedly to get a spot close to the food.

Cosima doesn't know where to go. Helena is surrounded by other kids. There's so many kids. She doesn't know anyone. It feels like the first day of high school cafeteria lunch all over again.


What to do, what to do...


"Cosima", Beth waves at her. She slipped Cosima's sight, because she was sitting behind a kid that was previously standing. "Come sit with us." She throws her one of those beautiful toothless smiles and it's not like Cosima has anywhere else to sit, so she takes her up on the offer.

It's incredibly noise with all the kids talking, Cosima almost misses all of what Beth's saying until: "...Allie." With the added gesture to the brunette with bangs closely behind Beth it seems to be an introduction. Allie. That's the name of her roommate. The puffy pink vest and violet trouser definitely fit with her colour scheme schedule. Cosima nods. "Hi, Allie. I'm Cosima."

"It's Alison, actually", Alison corrects reaching out for Cosima's hand (how odd; she's never met a teenager, who shakes hands with his age peers), "Though some people, like Elizabeth here, like to shorten every beautiful name they can get their hands on. I'm surprised she's not worked her magic on you already."

Beth groans, but the smile is still there. "Aw, come on. Elizabeth sounds like an old woman. Or Keira Knightley in almost every famous role of hers. Beth is much nicer."

"Well, I, for my part, prefer not to be associated with Ally McBeal", Alison retorts and though her tone is serious, she is also smiling.

The looks they share, smiling at each other and just gazing into each others eyes, feel far too intimate for Cosima to engage in. She quickly looks away and her eyes land on the food.

Melon cubes and sandwiches. That's nice. She actually thinks she might like to eat that. (Eating also prohibits any awkward conversation that might occur).


"Everyone", Mrs. Sadler says. Only once. The noise dies down immediately. All eyes are on her. It's rather impressive, Cosima thinks. A second ago they must have been on helicopter decibel level. Now? Silence (if you ignore the birds; seriously, what is this place?).

"As you know, Paul left us a month ago", the director goes on, earning her a few coughs and Hunger Games whistles. She goes on without a trace of minding any of it. "You also know that we cannot hold his space open for any longer."
"Bloody well you could If you wanted to", someone adds. Cosima can't see who. Mrs. Sadler doesn't seem to care anyway.

"Today we welcome Cosima", she says, "Who will share a room with Alison. Now. I know, Charlotte, I told you you would get the next new roommate. As of right now I think it's better If you keep sharing with Beth."

Somebody hollers at this and Cosima can see Alison blushing deep red out of the corner of her eye.

"As she knows your routine and can help you with everything", the director finishes. "Now. I would like everyone to say their name and hello to Cosima. That's only brief, you will get more acquainted in the next days. Some of us need to eat on time though-" "She means you meathead." - "Do not call me this." - "-so that's it for today, alright? Alright. We'll start with Tony and go clockwise."

The next she knows is a thousand names rain upon her. Some she gets. Some she forgets. In the middle someone hands her a sandwich. One girl refuses to introduce herself and stomps off. Helena hurries after her and Beth advises her not to take that girl seriously. "She's on a rough patch right now. Nothing to do with you."

Cosima nods, forgets more names. The sandwich is delicious.


The girl she was supposed to live with is called Charlotte. She's the youngest girl at the clinic, only 13 years old, but isn't shy to display her disappointment in Cosima being "so old". However, she volunteers to take care of her when Beth and Alison skip off to the woods to do who-knows-what (but seriously: what would a girl like Alison want to do in the woods? It's puzzling.).

"You are lucky", Charlotte repeats Helena's words from earlier without knowing. "Most of us are about your age. 16, 17. You will have a lot of friends."

"Oh, that isn't so much about age, don't you think", Cosima tries. They are walking about the little park behind the house. Walking is an exaggeration, though. Charlotte's leg is in some kind of cast and therefore, any forward motion happens at snail speed.

"I don't have so many friends. Only Ira and Rachel", Charlotte shrugs. "And my doctor, Susan. But I don't see her that often."

Cosima doesn't know what to say. She opts for nothing.

"I used to have another doctor, Marion", Charlotte tells her, "But she left. I think. I don't know. One day she was just gone. Nobody knows what happened. Or they didn't tell us. We can't be sure."
Too much information, Cosima thinks. But how to sensibly convey that to a 13-year-old?

"Do you have a boyfriend?", Charlotte asks, bluntly.

For a moment Cosima thinks about telling her that she doesn't like boys. But then she remembers thirteen and how confused she was and how mean kids were. She doesn't need a revival. "Uhm... no. Not at the moment I don't." It's not a lie, after all.

"I'm sorry", Charlotte says – as If not having a boyfriend is a tragedy. Then again it might seem like that to her at 13. It seemed like that to Cosima until she first had one. And it really just wasn't her thing. "You might find one. A lot of the older girls do."


Cosima doesn't want to say, but she's relieved when that Rachel girl – british, blonde, but with a proper haircut, unlike Helena, tall, lean, clean, her left eye is made out of glass, so probably brain tumours – takes Charlotte away with her to paint. Then she realizes she's all by herself now. Suddenly Charlotte doesn't feel like a burden anymore.

She decides to go back inside. There are still a few people outside that look at her, thinking she doesn't notice (of course she does). She could easily go over and make friends, like Charlotte proposed. But the day's been long and she feels exhausted and in need of a smoke (hopefully Alison's still gone).

She needs a break.

So when someone taps onto her shoulder and says her name, she can barly force a smile. Supposedly whatever is on her face as she turns around and mutters "yes?" must looked very crooked.

"Uh. Hi. I'm Scott", the boy introduces himself. A bit taller than Cosima, but not much. Most average height. He's wearing glasses and his hand, as he shakes hands with her, feels very sweaty. If that's nerves or illness is still up for the jury to decide. (Not Cosima, though, because she's not going to be rude on her first day).

"Cosima."

"Yes, I know. This is Veera", he says gesturing towards the dark haired girl that's hiding behind him.

"Hi", Cosima greets, waves. Veera looks at her with weary eyes. Cosima can relate to a degree. Only she would probably cover up her insecurities.

"Mrs. Sadler said you were in the advanced science program at your school", Scott goes on.

And that's all it takes.

Cosima is not a vain person. She doesn't take much pride in any of her accomplishments. But she has a passion. And that's something she cannot hide.

"Dude, I love science. I've been falling asleep to The American Naturalist since I was 10", she smiles. It's not a joke, though. But the smile makes it more humble, in a way. "Beth showed me the lab. Is that yours?"

"Well, technically, it belongs to the clinic." Scott chuckles and Veera joins in, hesitant but clearly amused. "But we've pretty much occupied it. Nobody else seemed interested. Are you?"

He raises an eyebrow, as If it's a question.


When Cosima crawls into bed (lights out at eleven, Alison insists) later that evening, she doesn't feel all that bad about this place anymore.

Yes, this is her dying place. But at least she won't be alone.


A/N: Delphine is not at the facility yet, hence the lack of Cophine. The real question is: Will she come as a junior doctor or as a ill teen? ;D Also since this story is told mostly from Cosima's perspective the Soccercop stuff is quite subtle. Thanks for R&R :)!